Ok, So I have been off of drugs (marijuana mostly) for 2 months, and I still feel like a little kid (low-self esteem and confidence) but it's almost like I'm just too weak minded to confront these things, I go out and see the doctor and we never get anything done because I don't even know where to start or what to say or what he is looking for, I know he is just trying to get to know me but I'm avoidant and I can't figure out why, it's like there is a mental block in my head and I am always trying to figure out myself, so he takes me off of Paxil (I have been on almost all the antidepressants (SSRI's)) and puts me on seroquel and I guess I feel somewhat better but I still don't even know what is bothering me I don't know WHAT is feelings better, I don't even know where I am going with this post it's almost like I just rant like it's a marathon to me and I am constantly not satisfied with what is going on. Maybe I am just finding myself or something but I feel like my thoughts are just so god damn disorganised and not just my thoughts but feelings. I have a hard time facing responsibility and I don't know why, 21 and still living with my parents, no job, and they are breaking there backs sending me to psichiatrists and medicine, and I feel bad and want to go out and get a job but I just am so impatient with myself that it is hard for me to even talk to people, I get aggitated around people and I can't figure out why, every time I get a job I end up just quitting it because I get too stressed out. Anyway, thats my rant.

One step at a time my friend. You didn't get where you are all at once and you won't get where you want to be all at once. Cut yourself some slack and try to pick just one thing that you can do. It can be something seemingly simple, like just recognizing what the feeling is inside you, or doing something for your parents to recognize what support they offer you. The key is to work on that one thing until you feel mastery over it then move to another. This isn't so much advice, which I don't think you were actually asking for, as much as a reminder to be gentle with yourself. As far as work goes, you are still young. I went through jobs pretty fast when I was 21, felt like they were all a waste of my time. Anyhow, I've been at my current job for 5 years now, partly due to a really good fit between me and my boss, partly due to me realizing that work is work otherwise it'd be called vacation. Once I understood that, I was able to stay with a job for longer than 6 months.