I'm probably not alone in that I have trouble starting and continuing a conversation with friends and while on dates. I'm often eager to talk but sometimes just can't think of something worthwhile to say, so there is this awkward silence while my brain scans in futility through possible things to talk about. I'd like to get beyond talking about superficial things like the weather, current events, etc. There are the cliche questions like 'What is your favorite food, movie, hobby, etc' which sounds more like I'm doing a youth group icebreaker than trying to have a meaningful conversation. I'm not neccessarily talking about new people, I mean those I already know. We've already gone over the 'basics' and know those little things about each other.

How do you take a conversation deeper than the usual superficial talk? Any topics or lines that get minds working (including your own) and get people to open up a little? Things that help create a closer friendship? Seems like it is hard to get close to someone whan all you talk about is your jobs, the news, politics, etc.

i googled "conversation starters" and got quite the interesting mix.... that could be a place to start, and then interesting little bits from magazines and papers can start conversations that keep evolving from topic to topic....

I usually just say whatever's on my mind--there's always something churning in there :-) But just keeping aware of what's going on in the world helps--read the paper---I think the key to this is to keep an overview of what's going on in general, but then really read up on things that interest you. If you care enough to learn about something, then it will come across in your conversations. And usually, as long as you don't ramble on and on (which I can def. do ;)) about something you're passionate about, people will generally appreciate it. I remember this guy I interned with once said that when he talked to some others at the office, he felt that the conversations were a bit superficial, and with me, even if I was talking about something completely inane, the fact that I was so passionate about it made him feel like we were actually having a worthwhile conversation.

and for those ackward moments... keep this in mind: the other person might be feeling just as ackward....so is it really necassary that both of you have the same feeling? This concept usually makes me feel a lot better most of the time. Then I don't feel as pressured to "break the silence," which in turn, relaxes me and allows me to say something.

The only way to keep a conversation going is to never ask a question that has a yes or no answer.

What do you think ?
How do you do something ?
How was your journey here ?

the phrasing of the question you ask leads to further discussion, watch a talk show host.. they are masters of it .

Anything that offers an opinion on anything gives u an insight on the person your talking to, if you can edge the conversation to childhood things, most people dont mind going over good
childhood memories, it puts them at ease .
Spot the good memories by the slight or large smile that goes with the answer, ask more about that situation, compare it to something similar u might have experienced.

A good memory will allways take the edge off an awkward situaution, but dont start grilling them, or going beyond the superficial on a 1st meeting.