I was talking to my mom and letting her know what's happening with me. Told her the dr. thinks I have add and put me on Strattera. She went on and on how she believes is just everyday living and that I just have a lot on my plate right now. She tried to explain away every symptom I had.

I truly believe my dad has adhd... He was very hyper as a kid, never finished school, had trouble with reading/spelling, Can't sit still to this day, Has many incompleted projects, moves from one hobby to the next, is an alcoholic (big time beer drinker), and suffers from depression.

These are the things that prompted me to go the doctor:

Organization

time-management

house work is a problem for me (It's not a complete disaster as my hubby would freak out, but I do keep piles of papers, closets are cluttered and my drawers are always a mess. About every six months dh and I have a blow-out about my house keeping skills. I'm a stay-at-home mom and he can't understand why I can't keep up.)

my car is always a disaster

I have a hard time dealing with stress

I feel like I zone out a lot

I have a horrible time with writing

I have low self-esteem and feel like a failure

I feel so overwhelmed when I have a lot to do and I end up doing nothing because I don't know where to start.

I have trouble staying off the computer.

Before marrying my husband, I had bad credit for not paying my bills.

I have a tendancy to avoid things and procrastination.

I remember struggling in school. I always felt like I was always a step behind everyone else. I was always struggling to catch up. I did have to repeat kindergarten because I was always in the play area, but that could have been due to my maturity level. My mom said that all my teachers said I did good, but I don't feel that way. How can my experience be so far off from what my mom says? I barley graduated from H.S. I'm actually requesting copies of my H.S. transcripts to see how I did.

I am going to school full time (this is the hundredth time for me starting school..I seem to burn out easily), I have two kids (5 & 3) and my hubby travels quite a bit.

My family doctor is the one who said I have ADD and I'm wondering if I should go to a psychologist/psychiatrist to get a thorough evaluation, just to ease my mind.

My sister shares a lot of these characteristics and suffers from depression as well.

I just don't know what to do.. I don't want to be taking medication for something I may not really have.

I would go to a psychologist/psychiatrist for a more professional opinion, but not because your mother doesn't think you have it. Strattera might not work and your family doctor might not want to give you stimulants in the future because he might not be confortable with them or even with his diagnosis of you.

Your mother means well, and might be right, but she is not qualified to diagnose you. In addition, many mothers go through denial and guilt about ADD. They don't want to have a defective child - selfishness becomes a factor.

Encourage your sister to go for an evaluation as well. Most ADD adults have sepression and/or anxiety issues. ADD runs in families.

Go for the full evaluation, more information is always better. Report card remarks are an eye opener(see mine below). They are the one place where you have documented and hopefully objective observations of your behaviour. In my corner of the world, they save your report cards for 20 years. All you have to do is go back to your high school and ask to see your student record. They should have everything in there from kindergarten.

Parents? Even if their observations are correct for home...and there can be bias there, they don't match well with teacher observations. Home and school are two different enviornments.

Environmental issues can make adult ADHD worse. They can also make a "normal" adult very stressed and scattered... But , if you have been fighting these issues all of your life it may be worth considering what the doctor has to say. It is also possible to have a mild case of ADD and have it get worse when you find yourself in an ADHD unfriendly environment... many people function just fine with ADHD and eventually find themselves overwhelmed by events at some point in their lives.

Ask yourself this question: How can it be that problems which you have always struggled with can be due to "having a lot on your plate" right now?....

good luck

ME :D


I was talking to my mom and letting her know what's happening with me. Told her the dr. thinks I have add and put me on Strattera. She went on and on how she believes is just everyday living and that I just have a lot on my plate right now. She tried to explain away every symptom I had.

I truly believe my dad has adhd... He was very hyper as a kid, never finished school, had trouble with reading/spelling, Can't sit still to this day, Has many incompleted projects, moves from one hobby to the next, is an alcoholic (big time beer drinker), and suffers from depression.


These are the things that prompted me to go the doctor:

Organization

time-management

house work is a problem for me (It's not a complete disaster as my hubby would freak out, but I do keep piles of papers, closets are cluttered and my drawers are always a mess. About every six months dh and I have a blow-out about my house keeping skills. I'm a stay-at-home mom and he can't understand why I can't keep up.)

my car is always a disaster

I have a hard time dealing with stress

I feel like I zone out a lot

I have a horrible time with writing

I have low self-esteem and feel like a failure

I feel so overwhelmed when I have a lot to do and I end up doing nothing because I don't know where to start.

I have trouble staying off the computer.

Before marrying my husband, I had bad credit for not paying my bills.

I have a tendancy to avoid things and procrastination.

I remember struggling in school. I always felt like I was always a step behind everyone else. I was always struggling to catch up. I did have to repeat kindergarten because I was always in the play area, but that could have been due to my maturity level. My mom said that all my teachers said I did good, but I don't feel that way. How can my experience be so far off from what my mom says? I barley graduated from H.S. I'm actually requesting copies of my H.S. transcripts to see how I did.

I am going to school full time (this is the hundredth time for me starting school..I seem to burn out easily), I have two kids (5 & 3) and my hubby travels quite a bit.

My family doctor is the one who said I have ADD and I'm wondering if I should go to a psychologist/psychiatrist to get a thorough evaluation, just to ease my mind.

My sister shares a lot of these characteristics and suffers from depression as well.

I just don't know what to do.. I don't want to be taking medication for something I may not really have.

Getting a full evaluation done by a psychologist familiar with ADHD is a good idea for several reasons. First you'll feel more comfortable with your diagnosis -- families are frequently in denial. Mine sure were even though I was diagnosed 3 times as a kid and once as an adult. Secondly you'll get more information that can help you accomodate your ADHD. Meds alone aren't the whole answer although they can be very helpful.


I'd read all I could to and learn about ADHD. Some of my favorite books are any of the three by Hallowell and Ratey: Driven to Distraction, Answers to Distraction, or Delivered from Distraction. Also Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo's book You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy and Sari Solden's book Women with Attention Deficit Disorder. There's lots of great books out there, but these are the three my psychologist suggested and the ones I keep coming back to.

It's real normal to question your diagnosis -- I was diagnosed by a psychologist specializing in ADHD last February and it's probably only this January that I've really accepted that this is what I have going on. Kelly and Ramundo discuss the frequent denial that occurs during the grief process in their book. In my case quitting meds for a month -- pretty much cleared up any questions!:eek: Finding my grade school report cards helped too.

Be patient and good to yourself!

Scattered

Your mother could be in denial that anything is "wrong." This is not to say 100% that you have ADHD (because I can't diagnose you), but carefully rationalizing everything away like that make me raise an eyebrow, just because she had to think about it so carefully. Re-casting you in the role of a stellar student is also fishy.

My mother denied the evidence I brought to her at first; her defense was, "We're a right-brained family, these are just right-brained traits. I do all that, too!" After letting it sink in, she had to admit that it was likely that both of us are ADD, although she doesn't see the need to get HERSELF diagnosed. (I disagree, but I can't make my own mother do anything!)

Maybe your mother wants to deny anything going on with your father? Maybe it the idea that she didn't know that was going on with him after years of marriage bothers her, and you being diagnosed hits too close to home? Just pure speculation, but whatever her objection is, it's not necessarily objective.

Heck, the psychologist I saw said I'm "pretty classically ADHD." But my father? Swears up and down that there's not a thing wrong. I gave him a "retrospective rating form" from my psychologist to rate my symptoms in childhood, and he rated everything "rarely" (the lowest rating) except for "forgetfulness" which he rated highest. ("Very often.")

Trouble organizing? Surely he thought of the endless screaming matches over my bedroom, and how I could never clean ANYTHING without adult help, even at 10, 11, 12? Nope, he put "rarely [was a problem]."

Excessive talking? Surely he thought of how I used to still have a full plate of cold food at the end of every meal because I'd spent the entire time talking? He must remember how he and my mother interjected, "be quiet and eat!" after every other sentence because I would never stop talking to eat if they didn't? Nope, he put "rarely."

And so on and so forth.

Not that your parents can't ever have valuable input into what your childhood was like, especially if you have trouble remembering. But what do your report cards say, what do other relatives remember? Trust your gut.

Excessive talking? Surely he thought of how I used to still have a full plate of cold food at the end of every meal because I'd spent the entire time talking? ... Nope, he put "rarely."

Hahaha! :)
I am always one of the last ones eating when I'm with others for just this reason... however I can't figure out how they seem to talk almost or just as much and finish their food faster. It's a mystery. I think for me it's a combination of talking plus being a slow eater anyway.

Tamatha: I started seeking diagnosis for many of the same reasons you listed. I also encountered a few people who said things like, "everyone does that," "I do that," etc. Sure... everyone does it sometimes and sure for some those behaviors and accompanying stress can just come from the trend in our society to be overscheduled etc. and trying to juggle it all. But what they don't realize is there's a difference from someone who does this thing sometimes and it doesn't really bother them and someone for whom it is chronic and it stresses the person out and affects self-esteem and etc.

Your doctor was a good place to start, but I'd probably also follow up with a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD and has experience with adults. A psychiatrist could also prescribe meds, some say that psychologists are better for dealing with the baggage from having been this way and having it affect your life and for doing some coaching regarding strategies and life changes to help manage ADD. But it's a personal call based on what type of doctor you think will best meet your needs and also who you run across that you think you'll feel comfortable going to.

I think you've taken some great steps so far, so feel good about what you've been doing to sort this out.

Hang in there and good luck.

I agree with everyone about getting a full diagnosis and following up with the right doctors. I experienced the same thing as you with my own mother, in fact if she wasn't in such denial I may have been diagnosed as a child. Her own mother discouraged her from taking me for tests when I was having trouble in school and in my social life. She tried to discourage me from taking my own daughter but I did not listen as I did not want my own child to struggle as I have. It is amazing what a strong influence our parents can have on us, but there is a time when we have to make our own decisions for our own welfare. Thank goodness I went ahead with my daughter and got the diagnosis. She's doing great now. I find that sometimes it's best not to tell my mother everything. Not just for her own good, but for mine. I hope everything works out well for you too. Dee