to have hope, to have dreams for the future, to believe in himself, to feel good about himself.....

what did i do wrong? what did i do right?

I don't think it's about right or wrong. It's about looking a the situation and trying to figure out what has and hasn't worked on both parts.

I think that that part of what you've been doing was right...

Originally posted by madgirl
to have hope, to have dreams for the future, to believe in himself, to feel good about himself.....

what did i do wrong? what did i do right?

You properly need to spend your attention on all four of those things, for yourself.



What did you do wrong?
Meddle in his business. Presume to know what is better for him than he does. Make any of his choices for him. Take responsibility for anything he feels, does, or says. Take responsibility for any aspect of his life.

What did you do right?

Told him not to talk to you ever again. Concern yourself with your own choices and actions. Take responsibility for your own life. Keep yourself out of harms way. Not try to prevent him from harming you, There is a difference.

Other than one's self, those four topics are the job of a counselor, not a girl friend. And it is no ones job to encourage one to HAVE those things, though anyone may encourage what already is...


That is his business alone.

You cannot rescue another adult from depression and dispondency. That they must seek themselves.


Your actions may meet the definiton of co-dependent.

As a youngster I was told...

Those who mind
other people's business either
have no mind, or
have no business...

IMHO

I hope that answers your question loyally.

Reading these posts has to be a real trip.
1) neither right nor wrong
2) right
3) both right and wrong.

Take your pisck.

This is the adult world my 24 yo firend. There are no "simple answers" to adult woes.
You've made it to adulthood. Welcome!