hey,
i've been dating a guy for close to 2 months.. he is bipolar... i have add.. what a combo.. he's on meds, sees a psychiatrist and therapist on a regular basis... very similiar to me and my add.. he's 35, lives at home, is partially employed.. he's ideal though-- meets my requirements of being funny, intelligent, handsome, genuine.. i have a good time--when he's not quiet--when i am with him.. lately he's been low and quiet.. what do i do? i am scared of letting myself fall for him but at the same time he is ideal except for his lows.. i'm new to the whole bipolar scene.. welcome any ideas or feedback..
thanks!

Give em some of your Adderall, that'll get him goin :D

he's 35, lives at home, is partially employed.. he's ideal though
Yours and mine Ideal are not the same

Give em some of your Adderall, that'll get him goin :D
Yeah, going into a manic episode. :rolleyes:

All relationships take a bit of work and it's apparent that he is taking the steps he needs to take in order to get his life back on track and I applaud him for that. I'm sure he's a great guy and he's lucky to find someone that is willing to accept him but understand that he is going to have these highs and lows and it's imperative that you decide if you are able to deal with these cycles. They will get better with therapy and perhaps medication but they're not going to go away.

My advice would be to live in the moment and if both are you are happy stick with that and go with the flow.

Good luck to both of you :)

I'll have to second Andi's advice. Any relationship is going to have its challenges. Bipolar is just one of many you may face with a significant other. It really is up to you to decide if you want to accept his lows, along with the highs, as part of daily life. Granted, life can get challenging, and meds and docs will help with that, but ultimately it comes down to what do you want. Remember, he's got to put up with your ADD as well :p

Also if things should go to marriage the chances of some of your children having ADD, Bipolar, or both is excellent. That doesn't mean don't do it -- I'm ADHD and married an ADD/Dyslexic guy (of course we didn't know that at the time 20 years ago) with one ADD/Dyslexic daughter and a 3 year old whose looking a bit ADD. Just count the cost -- for us it's been a bumpy ride. I expect Bipolar would make that ride even bumpier. In my case, I would have taken the ride again -- although I sure would have gotten treatment earlier. Learn all about bipolar you can and be really honest with yourself about whether you're okay with being the main bread winner in the relationship.

Scattered

Yeah, that's one thing that sucks about bipolar disorder. People love you during your highs, when you're feeling great and don't need support, but then when you're depressed and moping around they don't really want to be around you so much any more. Wouldn't it be great to be hypomanic all the time?

Give em some of your Adderall, that'll get him goin :D
Yeah, that's a great idea. Except adderall excites the bipolar symptoms and can make the depressions WORSE. I spent 9 days in a mental health facility under lock and key because Adderall droove my bipolar psychosis to such an extreme that the voice in my head was telling me to hurt people.

Say no to stims when you're not under control.

as for your situation, let me say that I feel your plight, except from the other end. My fiance is dyslexic and ADD(probably) and she had a hard time handling me during my lows. I'm a LOT more stable now, and really we only have problems when I forget my medication... and when I forget to take it the problems are BIG.

Coming from my angle, I know the only thing I wanted when I was going through my ups and downs was something stable in my life. Something I could count on. You enjoy this man when he's manic, but not when he's depressed... if you are truly into him, be there for him ALL the time.

It's said that females are the emotional ones in the relationship, Bipolar males are the proof that's not true by default. Be prepared to deal with some really odd arguements and feelings. For instance, when I got depressed speaking to me in the wrong tone of voice could make me so much worse. nevermind the voice in my head that fed me paranoia, worry, and horrible thoughts, around the clock.

So yeah, if you like this guy and seriously are willing to be there for him, prepare to be supportive a lot, because he'll need that.