I have been with the same man for a year and a half and living with him for about eight months. He doesn't understand. I try to control the ADD things I do and have been working on them; the ADD things being talking excessively, slobbiness, attention span, forgetting, total impulsivity ect.. I have been tweaking my meds with my doc to help this but he doesn't understand that it is the ADD. He thinks that I don't care....but I do...some days I am better than others. He gets upset and that just makes my symptoms worse. I can't think and I get flustered as a result I can't even answer intelligently. Sometimes I just forget to control my symptoms....I don't know I am just rambling because I am so fustrated.....I hope someone out there can relate...AHHH :eek: :eek:

While I never use my disorders as excuses, I do expect my hubby to accept them as explanations and have some understanding. He does most of the time.

My advice? Remind him of all the crap he does that you don't complain about. Especially if he doesn't have a reason to do what he does that bothers you.:rolleyes:

And don't try to tell me there's nothing he does that bothers you...;)

I have tried that but he is just impossible to deal with lately he says that he doesn't have any patience anymore. Maybe I should try it with another approach with that concept in mind....thank you

It took my husband a while to educate himself about ADD. It was very hard on him when he didn't understand the condition. He took a lot of things personally or thought that I just didn't care.

Is he willing to educate himself? There's a great new book out called "Living with ADD When Your not the One Who has it" by Mimi Handlin.

Also timing is very important when you try to explain ADD to other people. Trying explain and educate somebody about ADD when they are still upset with about and ADD related problem usually doesn't go over to well. It can end up sounding like an excuse instead of an explanation. Choosing neutral times to talk about ADD can be helpful.

Thank you....I have been timid in trying to get him to educate himself about ADD. He finally went to the doc with me Tuesday and he did ask questions so I guess it is a start. Thank you

Maybe something small for a start - like ask him for cue's. If he thinks ure in his face, get him to say something like "I need some time out" and make sure you give him a lot of personal space. I've been married for nearly 13 years this year and my hubby still finds me annoying. Sometimes I just need to go away and not get in his face. It would help if he has an outlet too. Living with an ADD person is frustrating and difficult and requires a lot of patience. Hopefully he will learn to deal with the situation and accept him for who you are - you just might need to make a few accomodations for his needs

My boyfriend is alright with this stuff ....he has started just kind of expecting some things I do. Although I try not to just let myself go totally and just expect him to deal with it.

I think it is a very fine line between using ADD as an excuse and putting it out as an explaination. I feel guilty sometimes when I want him to understand why I do things ....It feels like I'm asking him to just live with it. I always try to work on the things I know bother him but it often feels as though I can only work on one thing at a time ....so if I'm not interrupting I'm doing something else that I forgot I was trying to focus on....does this happen to anyone else?

I always try to work on the things I know bother him but it often feels as though I can only work on one thing at a time ....so if I'm not interrupting I'm doing something else that I forgot I was trying to focus on....does this happen to anyone else?
I'm the opposite, actually. If I'm not doing more than one thing at a time, I can't concentrate!

I admire you for admitting to and working on your bad habits! Far too many people think that everyone is supposed to just accept every one of their annoying idiosrocacies. Loving someone means tolerance, yes, but it also means caring enough to admit that there are little things within your power to change. Not all of one's behaviors are part of "who they are".

Good luck with it!

I always try to work on the things I know bother him but it often feels as though I can only work on one thing at a time


it happens to me all the time. if I am interupted I forgot what I was doing...this is why things that I was trying to put away end up in the most unexpected places. And I do not even remember how they got there...For example if I am taking the cofee cup back to the kitchen and the phone rings the cup will end on the cofee table.
I am also trying very hard to keep the house in order, be the first to wake up in the morning and make cofee and get the things ready...
What I do expect in return is for him to understand that these kind of things are hard for me to do, and not just a piece of cake...and show some apreciation.