View Full Version : bipolar/add/OCD

02-12-06, 02:19 PM
Hello, I was just diagnosed with bipolar/add/OCD and I also have some sensory things going on with me. I've been diagnosed with depression for about 4years now and I finally found a doc/therapist who would listen to me. She seems really great. Has anyone else gone through this? I'm on 750mg of Depakote and I feel like its working some but I think I need something for anxiety. My boyfriend is also Bipolar I and wont take his meds so alot of the time we are at each others throats!! I am 24 and have 2 kids one is 1 and other is 4. I have such a hard time doing everyday things.I dont even want to get up in the morning but I have to get my daughter to school. Going to get groceries wears me out literally. I have my life being like this. I cant keep a job, one little thing goes wrong or if I feel paranoid for a sec I want to quit. So right now i'm staying home with my son. And some days I cant even handle that. I live in a very small town and I dont like to talk about what is going on with me cause if one person starts talking then the whole town will start talking! My family thinks i'm losing my mind. I can be driving through town and forget where i'm going and you can get through my town in 5 min. I'm just overwhelmed. Has anyone else gone through this? Any advice??


03-03-06, 11:47 AM
Hello Stephanie,
I can relate to you 100 percent. I read your entry and had to write. Life
seems impossible at all turns doesn't it. I have just been officially diagnosed as
BP as well as ADD. It is such a relief to finally be treated for this, I have
tried different antidepressants, nothing worked, turned to prescription drugs
as in painkillers because I could focus and get so much done -- also feel
like a normal person. I too cannot hold a job, have not been able to in a
year. Due to my drug addiction I gave physical custody of our daughters to my
ex husband (13,9) years back, it was so hard to get up some mornings and take
care of myself --- let alone 2 kids, I was not fit. Even now, even being clean
and sober for awhile now (went into treatment) I still have very little patience. My current husband is an angel and helps me out a lot, tries his
best to understand me. I found a wonderful pdoc, she actually interviewed
me for almost an hour a little over 2 weeks ago. I am on Lamictal (mood stabilizer)---Neurontin(mood stabilizer,anxiety,sleep)---and Adderall XR(ADD)--I feel pretty good. Came down from the mania, but did not enter the dreadful
depression side, The last one I had in February was the worst I have ever
experienced, I wanted to die, did not even want to shower and cried all the
time. I new I needed major help. I feel well right now, able fo focus and
concentrate, hopefully I will continue to stabilize. I am so afraid of going back
into that dark place not knowing what is wrong with me, why everyone else
is so normal and functional.
I hope you are doing better...God Bless!!

03-05-06, 04:31 PM
thanks for writing me, some days i think i'm getting better and others i want to be completely out of this world. I'm afraid to think that i'm having a good day cause as soon as i do it starts to go bad for me.My boyfriend also has bipolar and he doesnt want to take his meds, so he sets me off a good bit. But i'm very glad you wrote me back!!


03-05-06, 05:15 PM
I'm sorry to hear that the thought of having a good day triggers a bad. I've been in that cycle where I feel it's just too good to be true. Sooner or later you'll hopefully find the inner peace to just go with it. I'm sure that not having the support of a stable partner isn't helping. Perhaps at some point you may have to consider that your health needs to take precedence and determine the health of the relationship. It doesn't appear that it is doing your stability any favors. I've learned the hard way that a healthy environment is critical to my stability. It's not just the simple things like cleanliness, organization, color, etc but the interaction between those around me.

I do understand where you are. I have been down that road more than once and I can tell you that although you don't want to move and the overwhelming feelings of wanting to run away or just curl up and cry, the path to stability is there and you CAN do it. I'm currently on Lamictal, Topamax, Abilify, and Buspar (for anxiety, which works wonders) and it took a long time for the doc and I to discover the right combo but once we did it has made a huge difference. Don't get me wrong, I still have my bad days but the good days far out number the bad :)

I'm interested in what your therapist's take is on your cycling. Are you still in the process of finding the right meds or is she happy with the cocktail and feels that it is emotional/environmental factors?

03-07-06, 03:04 PM
You are so right about standing back and taking a look at what is needed more at the moment. He is my biggest trigger, when I have a really bad day the wind can be a trigger. The crazy thing is that i've felt like this my whole life, I just thought this is the way I am. My father is the same way, of course he'll never admit that he has a problem. But now that I have kids I've noticed that its worse.My therapist is still trying to figure out what is the best way to go on meds. I've only been on Buspar for about 2weeks, and I've seen somewhat of a difference, but this week has been really bad and I think my relationship is pretty much gone and will end soon. So I cant expect the meds to do miracles. We're still trying to figure out my "cycling". I think i'm a rapid cycler? My moods change with the snap of a finger. I am very grateful for all of your advice, and to even talk to someone about how I feel and who can relate!! Thanks.


04-19-06, 11:06 AM
Hi Stephanie and all.... I'm new to the boards and was just diagnosed with ADD about 3 weeks ago. I was also diagnosed with Bi-Polar 2 back in 2002, and I've been on Lithium ever since. Right now, for me, what seems to be working best is Lexapro for my depression, Lithium for the hypo-mania, and Focalin for the ADD. I was doing okay for awhile, but having the ADD diagnosis and this new medication is really helping me---I haven't felt this hopeful about my life and my getting better in a long, long time. :)

I hope that you'll find the combination that works good for you too, Stephanie. I know it can feel crazy sometimes, especially with multiple problems. But you're not alone and you can feel might take time but you'll get there. :)

Hang in there and thanks for sharing.

Enchanted Moons

04-19-06, 07:14 PM
Thanks for replying to my thread. I'm still on Depakote and Buspar. My therapist thinks now that I have more of an anxiety problem than anything. I'm not sure I agree. I do have a huge anxiety problem but Depression is a big thing in my life too. But every med that I take helps for just a while and then I'm right back where I was. Right now things are good for me, I have a new job, my kids are healthy, my relationship is going ok and most mornings I feel like S**T and so overwhelmed by LIFE that I cant stand it. I love having a new job, it gets me away from the house, but now its like thats all I can accomplish, just doing my job. I cant seem to get house work done or laundry. At the end of my work day I am completely drained. I hope this changes cause I cant stand it. Thanks again for replying.