ScattyGirl
02-14-06, 12:53 PM
Hello everyone,
I'm glad I happened upon this forum. I've been browsing through some of the threads and I find myself recognizing myself in many of you.
I haven't been diagnosed with ADHD yet by a psychiatrist, as I am still trying to find one that is accepting new patients and is on my plan. Almost a year ago, I finally scheduled an appointment with my doctor to specifically talk about my recurring depression. For the longest time, I just tried to talk myself out of it, go exercise, go to yoga, etc. It grew progressively worse - especially around my period. She gave me Prozac. It took care of my depression pretty well, and at first, I noticed (or rather, my husband noticed) that I was actually able to clean one room of my house to completion without starting on another room or project. Soon enough though, I was back to being easily distracted and unfocused. About two to three months ago, the depression started to take hold again. It seemed worse this time, as I would spend a week in bed at a time and even getting up to get the kids ready for school was very difficult. Plus, the period of depression was longer than before. I remember my mom being in bed for the better part of the year when I was in elementary school and I didn't want that to be a memory of my children.
In the meantime, my husband and I (along with teachers) have been following the behaviour and progress of my 8 year old daughter since kindergarten. I'd noticed little quirks when she was four and five, but I didn't want to rush to judgement because I thought it may be a maturity issue, etc. She is now being tested for ADHD, sensory integration disorder, and a visual/spatial disorder. I'm positive she has all three, just waiting for the diagnosis at this point.
Since we've been talking so much about her symptoms, etc., it dawned on me that I did many of the same things when I was young (making lists down to the minute, taking three hours on one page of homework, slower than my sisters with chores..) That's when I really started evaluating myself and my actions from childhood on. I've always been told if I could just "apply myself" that I have so much potential - in school. It's the story of my life, I have intentions to be organized and complete various projects, etc., but I always fail. It's like I can go for several months being extremely busy and involved; then I can't do anything more - as if I need a long break to recuperate. When we go on family vacations or short weekend trips, I feel spent and it takes me at least a week to a) stop spending most of my time in bed, sleeping b) get back into the daily routine of life. It completely throws me off. I've always had this overriding yearning for structure and routine but I'm unable to maintain routine and structure. I mostly just feel overwhelmed.
As I recognized my own behaviour in my daughter, I scheduled another appointment with my GP and voiced my concerns. She said it sounds like ADHD, with depression. She took me off the Prozac and put me on 150mg of Wellbutrin. I've only been on Wellbutrin for two weeks now. I can't really tell if it's doing anything as I believe it's too early. I am better than I was three weeks ago, but that may be because it's my normally "good two weeks" of the month. I still lack energy, focus, and motivation.
It's so difficult to be a mom of young children, a wife of a husband that travels between 2-4 days every week, and a part - time student. I admit that I have also been taking Phentermine. I stopped a few days before my GP put me on Wellbutrin. From what I read, Wellbutrin would help my energy. No such luck here, so yesterday, I started taking my phentermine again - and voila, more clear - headed, more energy, and more myself. Truth be told, I've been medicating myself for ADHD for about four years now, by way of diet pills. Probably horrible for my body - but I can't be a bump on a log. I recognize in myself that I need to be on stimulants, but I don't want to ask my doctor. I'm somewhat ashamed of my abuse of diet pills.
I cried when my doctor told me that I had ADHD, because for the longest time, I've felt as if my inconsistency in everything was a major character flaw; that I was an underachiever and lazy. It's been a big source of disappoint with myself and feelings of inadequacy. Now, I feel like I can possibly start living up to my potential. Thank you for having a forum like this, where I can see that I'm not alone.
I'm glad I happened upon this forum. I've been browsing through some of the threads and I find myself recognizing myself in many of you.
I haven't been diagnosed with ADHD yet by a psychiatrist, as I am still trying to find one that is accepting new patients and is on my plan. Almost a year ago, I finally scheduled an appointment with my doctor to specifically talk about my recurring depression. For the longest time, I just tried to talk myself out of it, go exercise, go to yoga, etc. It grew progressively worse - especially around my period. She gave me Prozac. It took care of my depression pretty well, and at first, I noticed (or rather, my husband noticed) that I was actually able to clean one room of my house to completion without starting on another room or project. Soon enough though, I was back to being easily distracted and unfocused. About two to three months ago, the depression started to take hold again. It seemed worse this time, as I would spend a week in bed at a time and even getting up to get the kids ready for school was very difficult. Plus, the period of depression was longer than before. I remember my mom being in bed for the better part of the year when I was in elementary school and I didn't want that to be a memory of my children.
In the meantime, my husband and I (along with teachers) have been following the behaviour and progress of my 8 year old daughter since kindergarten. I'd noticed little quirks when she was four and five, but I didn't want to rush to judgement because I thought it may be a maturity issue, etc. She is now being tested for ADHD, sensory integration disorder, and a visual/spatial disorder. I'm positive she has all three, just waiting for the diagnosis at this point.
Since we've been talking so much about her symptoms, etc., it dawned on me that I did many of the same things when I was young (making lists down to the minute, taking three hours on one page of homework, slower than my sisters with chores..) That's when I really started evaluating myself and my actions from childhood on. I've always been told if I could just "apply myself" that I have so much potential - in school. It's the story of my life, I have intentions to be organized and complete various projects, etc., but I always fail. It's like I can go for several months being extremely busy and involved; then I can't do anything more - as if I need a long break to recuperate. When we go on family vacations or short weekend trips, I feel spent and it takes me at least a week to a) stop spending most of my time in bed, sleeping b) get back into the daily routine of life. It completely throws me off. I've always had this overriding yearning for structure and routine but I'm unable to maintain routine and structure. I mostly just feel overwhelmed.
As I recognized my own behaviour in my daughter, I scheduled another appointment with my GP and voiced my concerns. She said it sounds like ADHD, with depression. She took me off the Prozac and put me on 150mg of Wellbutrin. I've only been on Wellbutrin for two weeks now. I can't really tell if it's doing anything as I believe it's too early. I am better than I was three weeks ago, but that may be because it's my normally "good two weeks" of the month. I still lack energy, focus, and motivation.
It's so difficult to be a mom of young children, a wife of a husband that travels between 2-4 days every week, and a part - time student. I admit that I have also been taking Phentermine. I stopped a few days before my GP put me on Wellbutrin. From what I read, Wellbutrin would help my energy. No such luck here, so yesterday, I started taking my phentermine again - and voila, more clear - headed, more energy, and more myself. Truth be told, I've been medicating myself for ADHD for about four years now, by way of diet pills. Probably horrible for my body - but I can't be a bump on a log. I recognize in myself that I need to be on stimulants, but I don't want to ask my doctor. I'm somewhat ashamed of my abuse of diet pills.
I cried when my doctor told me that I had ADHD, because for the longest time, I've felt as if my inconsistency in everything was a major character flaw; that I was an underachiever and lazy. It's been a big source of disappoint with myself and feelings of inadequacy. Now, I feel like I can possibly start living up to my potential. Thank you for having a forum like this, where I can see that I'm not alone.