View Full Version : I'm checking myself in before checking myself out


mccoffee
02-14-06, 08:48 PM
This whole week i'm fighting hard to find a reason of living now i can't find one which is very very very very scary.

Just to disapoint alot of you I"m going to the hosptial before i do something smart like killing mysel. NO it's not a bluff i ment that part of of finding a reason cause i have none right now. I'm so low right now i want to quit school my new job all that


So blah I'm living people

Adelphia
02-14-06, 08:56 PM
Be noble! and the nobleness that lies In other men, sleeping, but never dead, Will rise in majesty to meet thine own.

crime_scene
02-14-06, 11:33 PM
I'm glad you're getting help, that is so smart of you.

Hey we all love ya,

so let us know how you are doing, when you can.

We'll really miss you and your fun perspectives, but it's really important you look after you first.

EYEFORGOT
02-15-06, 12:23 AM
Be well mccoffee,

and when you're out of the hospital, and I hope starting to look up again, please come here and let us know how you're doing.

william tell
02-15-06, 12:33 AM
knowing and going to get help when you need it, means you are not on the upswing of the depession curve yet . I lost my father to suicide , and my adopted cousin took his own life also , they were so depressed . I know more about it then I ever wanted to , one thing I do know is that when people decide to do it (and they tell no one ) because they see it as a solution ,they are on the upswing of the depression loop , if they only held out longer they would have been through the most dangerous part.

barbyma
02-15-06, 12:39 AM
When you get back & read this, know that my thoughts are with you!

mccoffee
02-15-06, 12:44 AM
I didn't lie on purpose so bear with me I went to a friends house i was going to see how i felt after I saw her I was fine however next panic attack I have I will go in for sure this is to much they come out of nowhere at random times i can't stop thinking.


So hopefully I won't have to go tonight trust me I thought i did i was just going nutz ask anyone here who tried to help recently I feel bad for what I said to them at the same time though I just couldn't blame myself for things that are out of my control that's all that was. NO excuse Sorry everyone Bad day

Nova
02-15-06, 01:49 AM
McCoffee,
You and I have been friends for several years now, and we'll always be friends no matter waht.
You've helped me so many times, remember ?
When I felt like I wanted to give up...and never even wanted to leave my apartment for months on end, back in Ohio.
Get yourself help for your depression and anxiety, that'll be the first step, and the rest just take day by day.

Nova

mccoffee
02-16-06, 12:35 AM
I'm wainting on this one letter to get notarized that's been the main promblem since it's free health care it's like been two months I've been trying to see a doc about this bs now they can't do anything about it untill i get reatted/notrized.

for free health care hopefully I could talk to pyschologist/pyshartist. I never been so high sturng, yet angry in my whole life it's not relaly anger it's depression hopefully new job will help.


I'm so sick of hurting people i care for getting into petty arguments all of it. You don't relize how valuable something is till it's gone hate to quoute a cheesy 80's song but hey now it's like i'm begging to relize that I should be more appercitative for what I had. I lost some friends hopefully they will forgive me with time if not I don't blame them a bit. I was real jerk to everyone including to myself it's like how did I keep my self sinking.


I wish I could undo all the things in the past few months except for the job part the only thing i done right so far, or better yet living for the sake of lving to allow myself to see the possablities in life ,and seek them even though it might be a pipe dream it's still something to strive for. i guess this what giving me confeidnce is admitting that I'm human it's basically what made Aristotle a great man. That mistake is not listening to advice when given, doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different resault.

Joyous56
02-16-06, 11:52 PM
McCoffee, the only thing that is important now is you taking care of yourself, whatever that takes. You're sounding angry...at yourself....they say depression is anger turned inwards.

All those things you think you've done to hurt people...please be open to the possibility that it's all your perception...and you are not responsible for anyone else's feelings. It sounds so damn trite, I hate it when people say it to me....but this will pass, you will feel better.

You've helped me a lot....just be gentle with yourself. Right now, you're your own biggest critic, and your own worse enemy. You aren't a fraction as bad a person as you think you are! And...yeah, there ARE possibilities in life that are worth seeking and striving for.

Take care of you....

mccoffee
02-17-06, 12:16 AM
Thanks for the words. I know i'm not a bad person it's just maybe it's the add in me just expecting to much from myself to a point. I dont' know was chatting with my classmates this one kid said I was smart. I've looked to him and went "all I know is i don't know nothing" . It's odd though it's like what descretes said about everything is just the way it is.

A mis perception well that's a term that is how I would describe anything really. Reality is really is are preception ,or as Lee said "Your turth is not my turth atleast i try to understand". That's what triggered all this though logically it didn't make sense ,but my gut told me otherwise on how it was ment to be.

It's kinda like a midlife crisis i guess i'm so far ahead/yet behind it's like everytime I think i'm right didn't relize that I was untill to late especilly with the women, or maybe I"m just wrong to analyze it just accept that's life move on. It's amazing how you around certain people just by talking to them certains just brighten up your day, it's odd though maybe that's why I'm pondering this to much I'm just looking towards other to get out of my head.

Nova
02-17-06, 12:17 AM
Don't beat yourself up too much. You really are a great great guy.
And I know all about 'mood swings and depression', McC.
You know how to find me when you need me.
And you know how to find everyone else on here too.
There are many people who care about you.

Nova

mccoffee
02-17-06, 12:47 AM
knowing and going to get help when you need it, means you are not on the upswing of the depession curve yet . I lost my father to suicide , and my adopted cousin took his own life also , they were so depressed . I know more about it then I ever wanted to , one thing I do know is that when people decide to do it (and they tell no one ) because they see it as a solution ,they are on the upswing of the depression loop , if they only held out longer they would have been through the most dangerous part.

The night I oringinally posted this, I just couldn't get out of the aniexty/panic attack whatever it's odd to that's why I posted it was like this whole thing of impending failure was just over me. I couldn't shake it was hard after being rejected/failing a cert test for the third time which is odd I still got the same score I didn't even really study for it. Yeah I had a night I was doing whatever it took to keep mind off of that act alone. It was shelfish and stupid to begin with at the time though. This is how much this girl ment to me I guess still kinda does mean alot. I almost didnt' take my new job just to talk with her ,and be with her it was like scary though for me for a couple of reasons. A. I never every felt so strongly about anyone in my whole life even though i never done anything with her. B. I never felt someone so easy to talk to ,yet free around, C. Everday no matter if she didn't say much to me I was just gald to see her. I'm kinda glad I didn't hook up with her though it would've be to good to be true in the sense it would've been a happy ending ,yet a sorrow since it was just the wrong time for both us since both are very busy that my health

I have to get checked out I"m sick of thease panic attacks at random dont' know why I get them some days just do.



Sounds cheesy ,and yet unrational ,but a rational man gets nothing done I just proved that point.

crime_scene
02-17-06, 01:00 AM
Take care of yourself, mccoffee, you're a good man.:)

When you get your health care sorted, you will feel so much better too.

mccoffee
02-17-06, 07:19 AM
It's funny no I'm not kidding I was feeling better after venting all this then my father asked me to get him some coffee I agreed. I stood up I had the sharpest cheast pain no thoughts of failure anything at the ER for about 5hrs it's all anixety so I'm going to beg folks for some cash to see my old privately to get the meds i can't have this wile on new job thease attacks what bs

Naomi2
02-19-06, 12:48 PM
Run.
Just run and run and run.
Run until you can't run any more.
Feel yourself.
You move, you breathe, you believe.
Feel yourself going, moving, running, feeling the air against your face.
You feel better when you run.
Run to wherever you want to, but believe you are running.
Believe in yourself.

Tust me...and run.

Keep yourself safe.
We love you.

Running helps.
Trust me.

mccoffee
02-20-06, 06:24 AM
Run.
Just run and run and run.
Run until you can't run any more.
Feel yourself.
You move, you breathe, you believe.
Feel yourself going, moving, running, feeling the air against your face.
You feel better when you run.
Run to wherever you want to, but believe you are running.
Believe in yourself.

Tust me...and run.

Keep yourself safe.
We love you.

Running helps.
Trust me.

Jenny where have you been all my life

Naomi2
02-20-06, 10:07 AM
Jenny where have you been all my life
Very sorry, but what do you mean? Who's Jenny?

mccoffee
02-20-06, 09:08 PM
:) Forrest Gump

Naomi2
02-21-06, 12:57 PM
:) Forrest Gump
I'm sorry, it's just me being ignorant as usual :) but I'm completly confused about this whole Jenny/Forrest Gump thing :eyebrow: :) :eyebrow:

mccoffee
02-21-06, 10:52 PM
run forrest run

Nova
02-21-06, 11:18 PM
LOL!
Oh McC.....Run anyways..ya Bubba-Forest. LMAO!!
The exercise will do you good.
Who else but your other 'mama' would say that to you ???
Too funny!

N

Scattered
02-21-06, 11:24 PM
Hey, I definately don't know your whole situation, but if I understood your posts correctly, you're off meds. In my opinion, that is the kind of thing it's definately okay to borrow some money to see a doctor about. We're talking your life, mental well being, new job, relationship -- kind of important stuff. You are worth it. Someday you can pay it back or pay in on to someone else who needs a hand. We all do sometimes.

It's kinda like a midlife crisis i guess i'm so far ahead/yet behind it's like everytime I think i'm right didn't relize that I was untill to late especilly with the women, or maybe I"m just wrong to analyze it just accept that's life move on.This reminded me a little book I really love that helped me with this -- I missed the boat, figured it out too late, feeling. It's called The Precious Present. It's only about a 15 - 25 minute read and is an allegory. It was one of those few books that actually changed my life. Your post just reminded me of it. I found it in the religion section, although it's not really religious -- really just about your relationship with yourself and life.

Anyway, one day at a time and keep reaching out.

Take gentle care,
Scattered

Naomi2
02-22-06, 04:42 AM
The exercise will do you good.
Yes. That is what I meant - that running helps boost your morale quite a bit. :)

I didn't mean run away! :)

mccoffee
02-23-06, 02:05 AM
Yeah now they got me on prozac got the blood pressure pills refilled laughing my butt off though all three drugs i forgot to meetion the inhaler was 20 some bucks.

If i would've known those were that cheap to begin with I woud've got them filled lmao.

I'm not sure though if the prozac is going to do anything ,or not other then sexual side effects with the luck i'm having which is none I would get that one. that might be a good thing though no offspring doing the world a favor. To be serious though it would take a month to see the resaults. My blood pressure was lower 140/90 it's alot better then 170/100 which is a good sign. Time for me to iceskate wile drunk with an open tackle box in my hands.

Thanks for the support peeps :)

Scattered
02-25-06, 11:55 AM
I'm glad to here your blood pressure has improved. I've read that ADDers frequently respond a little quicker to meds including Prozac, so maybe things will improve sooner than a month. My best friend's husband started Prozac and was doing some better within days and kept on improving from there. Hang in there!


Scattered

mccoffee
02-26-06, 10:42 PM
I'm so sick of this cheast pain / fatigue though can't wait till i get paid to sign up for a gym. It doesn't help when nights like this I"m so boread and ageravated to do something to get out of my head.


It doesn't help to that I think i've might've lost another friend ,or something not returning my calls grr... I know she might've needed a ride to the job interview tommrow it's like great she is dogging me that she just wants to hang out no relations as clinton calls it. Not sure on the change of heart on her part was ,or what it's just messed up that's all.

Scattered
02-27-06, 04:14 AM
Hey there -- I understand the feeling of anything to get away from your own head and exercise sure can help. Have you talked to a doctor about your chest pain and fatigue? Stress can mess with a lot of stuff - including your heart. Take care and try not to isolate from everybody.

Scattered

mccoffee
02-27-06, 09:52 AM
I've should've mettioned that they did an ekg two weeks ago it came up as normal grr.


Yeah it's like so aggervating even right now it seems like i didn't get enough sleep ,or something i can go right back to bed.

Naomi2
02-27-06, 10:26 AM
exercise sure can help
That's what I was trying to say earlier - just get out and run. I was trying to say that it really helps :)

mccoffee
02-28-06, 02:34 PM
More great news I just got fired for something that was out of my control to begin with. I was put in a situation where i couldn't do anything further since it was on the server end which is another city all together.

Scattered
02-28-06, 03:28 PM
Oh wow -- when it rains it pours. I am so sorry. Wishing much better things for you.

Scattered

mccoffee
02-28-06, 08:19 PM
Now i'm thinking about working in anohter feild all together i'm so tired of this.

Princess-of-Chaos
03-04-06, 06:45 PM
Hey,

I hope you'll feel a bit better soon. It is exactly the right thing to get help and get medication, just to reassure you.

I really feel with you. I've read a book someone wrote about his depression, where he said the world is divided in people who had it once and those who've never had to make that experience.

I know depression well.... since 17 years, and I'm 24.

First, I am sure you'll find again a meaning in your life.

Second, I believe everyone has his/her place here and is needed.

Third, I felt you were angry that you are depressed.
There are so many famous people who suffered from it.

- Goethe
- Kierkegaard
- John St. Mill
- Virginia Woolf
- Sylvia Plath
- Shakespeare (not proven, but read Hamlet!!!!)
- Hemingway
- Marguerite Duras
- Hermann Hesse

and many more.....

In my opinion, there is absolutely no reason to be ashamed about it!!!

There's no reason not to try to recover, either, but everyone is helpless when it comes to depression.

Hold on, I can promise you that better days will come.

So often I've thought: Well, I survived. Now, look at the stars, the sky. Feel the warm water running down your body in the shower.

You are not alone! I'll think of you and hope for you your pain will ease soon.

And even if they found a new medication in 10 years, and you'd be well ever after, you'd then surely have a lot of time to enjoy. But as I said, I'm quite positive you'll feel better soon. Try to believe it, try to say it loud, everytime you'll think it, it will become more likely.

Do not waste yourself!!!!

If you gave up now, it would be forever, and you do not know what you'd miss!!!!

And try to forgive yourself whatever you are blaming yourself for. At the moment, you are like a kind of inquisitor who desperately wants to burn a witch. Your depression might make you believe the most ugly and untrue things about yourself.

Big hugs,

Pia


-

crime_scene
03-04-06, 09:48 PM
Oh nuts, that is just awful Coffee, sorry to hear that.

How extremely vexing and depressing both.

cs

mccoffee
03-04-06, 10:43 PM
Yeah i'm full of good news yet i need to stay postive and optimisitic.

mccoffee
03-05-06, 02:57 AM
I hate to double but tonight was rough i was going though a panic attack for about two hours it was fun

Proazc is not working i think not sure what else i should try doing luckly i starting working on a project before i thought any further though.

It sucks having no friends no social life no money to do anything i give up i really do though in way. After being lied to by a girl who siad she liked me, loosing friends, then I'm pretty much loosing anohter one tonight over bs i can't have this anymore. It's the same routine over and over again. Staying postive huh it's really scary when everything you liked and love doing is a burden, nothing seems entertaining the feeling of worthlessness still contiues due to thease circumstances.


Nothing i'm doing is going right not a single thing I'm still not sure why and how I got fired all I know is I use to love working on computers now i dont' like it don't even care to goto school for it anymore ,or even give help on the boards i volunteer at. It's like I really lost myself though this time of turmoil and chaos i don't think this time i would ever recover. I say that as in I was alot happier when wow i can't think of anything after that..

So with all that said i'm going to try to goto sleep i can't seem to stay focus on anything anymore nothing is just that not imporntant to heck with it all I say be like Nero play the fiddle watch it all burn what's the point of trying to save something that is out of your hands anyway ,or achiving something that will never be in ur hands right now try till you die that's all it is trying.

Princess-of-Chaos
03-05-06, 03:54 AM
Hey,

I feel with you. I really do, as I felt exactly the same way very often.

DO NOT GIVE YOURSELF UP!!!!

I know, somehow the "stay positive" seems simply ridiculous when it is that bad.

Try that:

SOMETIMES IT IS ONLY IMPORTANT TO SURVIVE SOMEHOW

It is something I agree on with a friend who was severely abused as a child and suffers of PTSD, depression and bulimia.

Keep going, better days will come. They always do.

Don't do anything stupid, please!


If that would help you, I could phone you. Calling someone in the US is cheaper than in the next city.....


See: I do care. Really. Although I do not know you. But no one should have to feel like that. You are not alone.


when exactly are you going to a hospital?

Take care, and please... promise me not to try anything.... there'd be lots of people missing you.

mccoffee
03-05-06, 04:04 AM
I posted about going the hospital weeks ago it's just that I'm in a runt can't seem to get out of it I got to the point where everything I loved/cared for ,or about is just that a pipe dream that i should've not even cared ,or thought about.



So what's the point on this dont' give up on myself that's funny to me the reason why that's funny right when i have anything right going good I really dont' ,or vice versa. I just can't stand it anymore how I get so motavated just to be dissapointed what's the use day to day crap it's just that ,and very stale.

Princess-of-Chaos
03-05-06, 04:25 AM
What you are going through at the moment is really hard. Everyone would be devastated.

I know it is difficult to keep going and motivated.
I'm always afraid to get up again because it hurts so much to fall. If I didn't try, I'd never get up again. If I try, I do have a chance.

You are free to hope, no matter what is happening. As long as you hope, it does not feel that bad.

And I can tell you that there is hope in the worst situations. As a child, I was incredibly alone and had not a single friend. Not to speak of my family..... :mad: Everyone I liked left me....

Now, I have great friends and a boyfriend who is so very supportive. I could not wish to have anything better.

Maybe they'll leave me, too. I do not know. But I'd lose a great time and lots of love and nice experiences if I'd "close my heart".

This is my experience. I believe in hope.

It is not easy. You have every reason to be sad, even depressed.

I only try to help you. No matter what, there'll always be people willing to help when you reach out.

I was serious about calling you. If it would help you to feel less alone.... But I know I'm a stranger, I do not want to intrude.

I only want to show you there is someone who cares.

Big hugs.

mccoffee
03-06-06, 03:04 AM
this is total bs up again the whole night my cheast is pounding though my heart i can't go like this i'm so sick of this. how long should this proazac take to kick in and blood pressure medactions i keep having this attacks no matter what i do omg i'm so fed up

crime_scene
03-06-06, 03:38 AM
hmm. sorry to see you are still up and beating and not relaxing and sleeping...:(

lukewarm shower and warm milk? sheep counting?

mccoffee
03-06-06, 03:45 AM
I went for a drive and bought some ciggerettes this heart pounding threw the chest stuff has to stop

relax how can i relax though right when i do boom it's anohter set back another rimider how messed up i am will be

i had it

crime_scene
03-06-06, 04:04 AM
it's a vicious circle, if you keep thinking about bad things, you increase your stress and panic attacks, which are really uncomfortable and so increases the number of panic attacks...makes it harder for drugs to help if the brain is working so hard against it.

so if you don't break the cycle, you'll never break the cycle. Hard hard spot to be in and I'm feeling just awful for ya cuz I know what it's like to get stuck in anxiety mode.

mccoffee
03-06-06, 04:28 AM
yeah i wish i could just say stop ,or write it out nothing is working i swear to god on this I even wake up with my cheast pounding it's that bad I'm going for another drive.

Scattered
03-06-06, 01:39 PM
Wow, having both panic attacks and depressive feelings/thoughts is one tough combination. Is there a support group or something like emotions annoymous that you could assess until you can get help from a professional? It can be pretty hard to get out of that rut by yourself. You've had a lot to deal with on top of all this. I hope the drive helps. SSRI's can take up to five weeks or so, if I'm not mistaken so manybe they will still help. If not another medication or combination might be someting you and your doctor need to discuss.

Take care,
Scattered

crime_scene
03-06-06, 01:55 PM
My concise NON medical opinion says there's some chemistry things going on too aside of mental. Awful.

Distractions are probably very helpful.

mccoffee
03-07-06, 04:24 AM
I just got to move on from all the negative get out of this funk. I almost went to the er yesterday ,but didn't why it's just going to make it worse in the sense that I need to make alot of changes exercise more blah blah

I guess i know what the trigger is I just got to stop thinking of her and the job which I should've never got fired from in the first place. I took a remeron on top of the prozac since i can't stop thinking my sleep sechulde is msseed up from thinking to much.

EYEFORGOT
03-07-06, 09:45 AM
I've been here mccoffee, it's a really rough ride. Those coping mechanisms, such as excercise, etc, didn't work for me because I wasn't consistent. Yoga felt good but only when I was already feeling good, if that makes sense to you. I needed meds and didn't feel better until I was on them. Only lorezepam gets me down from a panic/manic attack, nothing else. Anything else, talking, physical contact, they are welcome but can't bring me down.

I wish I had wisdom concerning handling triggers, but I haven't found anything that works just yet. If you have a good therapist and s/he gives any good advice I hope you'll share.

I hope you come out of the funk soon. Keep us posted.

mccoffee
03-07-06, 10:28 AM
i think sex will help to have a sense of humor about the whole situation.:)

EYEFORGOT
03-07-06, 10:36 AM
ROFL!!! Yeah, that would do it! Now that definitely helps, don't know why I didn't think of it sooner.

mccoffee
03-07-06, 10:40 AM
if anyone from ohio that is a single femal reads this let me know take a plane out here since actully sex is a cure for depression i guess studies proved that.


For the sake of disproving ,or proving that theroy let's have it. :)

EYEFORGOT
03-07-06, 10:52 AM
LOL

Nice try mccoffee. Behave. This is for depression, not a dating service. And let's face it, sex won't cure it. It is a temporary help, hormone levels, endorphins, all that good chemistry stuff.

We both know that another person/healthy relationships can be a tremendous comfort and support to us. But I've had that and it didn't cure anything. Not if it's a chemical imbalance. It is one of many things that can help.

Do you have a good support system with friends and family?

mccoffee
03-07-06, 11:15 AM
LOL

Nice try mccoffee. Behave. This is for depression, not a dating service. And let's face it, sex won't cure it. It is a temporary help, hormone levels, endorphins, all that good chemistry stuff.

We both know that another person/healthy relationships can be a tremendous comfort and support to us. But I've had that and it didn't cure anything. Not if it's a chemical imbalance. It is one of many things that can help.

Do you have a good support system with friends and family?

i guess i do i don't know really i've the hospital again and told them how i'm so tired of being fine one minaute then sick again it's like I just want to get to the root of it.

Like what you said eye i need more of antivan ,or something in cause it does happen again it's like I'm constantly afaird of having one in front of the wrong people like it already has.

Due to all this bs I've lost alot of friends about to lose more at this rate. I don't know why I can't see the good in things I just cant at times. It's all bad I wish i could change trying harder too when you lost so much so quickly it's hard not worrying about it.


So that's life though

EYEFORGOT
03-07-06, 01:31 PM
It's not life, it's life with depression. And trying harder doesn't change anything. That's a lot to lose in so short a time, which only further exasperates the depression. You're in a vicious cycle. You're going to need more help than the hospital can give. I hope your family can come to your aid.

Scattered
03-07-06, 01:37 PM
When biochemistry is involved, just trying harder probably won't cut it. Support, medication adjustment and such might. Don't should on yourself on top of it all -- it doesn't help (believe me I've tried!:rolleyes: ). Being old (okay, maybe just feeling old), lets me look back and see that some of the relationships and jobs I lost that seemed absolutely devistating turned out to be real blessing down the road. Sure didn't seem like it at the time. Losing them left me free to find a better relationship and a job I really loved. I hope the same will be true for you!

Take care,
Scattered

mccoffee
03-07-06, 02:27 PM
Alright now for the real issue what about the offer?????:mad: :)


No really I called them up they are still a month behind for pysch grr.. So hopefully it will work out. I found a jeet kund do school i'm going to start tranning at.

Scattered
03-07-06, 02:37 PM
Great about the school!:)



A month!!! That's lousy!:mad:

Take care,
Scattered

crime_scene
03-07-06, 04:01 PM
in the mean time keep doing things that yu like that raise your endorphins...I watched 2 movies yesterday that helped me improve my mood

1) 40 year old virgin - it was funny and I laughed which was a bonus
2) Mad Hot Ballroom - documentary on young kids in NYC learning how to ballroom dance and how excited and happy it made them was catching.

think about it!

mccoffee
03-07-06, 04:25 PM
I goto do sometning i'm about having another attack here which really sucks I wish i could just fix it ,or shoot myself to fix as much as i hate to say it I dont' know why i can't get oot this one minuate i'm fine next minute flipping out.


I just can't stop thinking about how much I screwed up with everything then i'm fine again not sure what to make out of this. i hope this prozac start working better. I"m tire of it really am trying to move forward but tired.

mccoffee
03-07-06, 05:56 PM
update called doc hopefully he get me on something that will work quicker this is bs i can't have this everyday i really cant

EYEFORGOT
03-07-06, 06:33 PM
Glad to hear it mcc. Hope it works well.

mccoffee
03-07-06, 07:15 PM
I went to school doc is calling me in the morn

crime_scene
03-07-06, 09:41 PM
Sounds good, coffee! Hope you can get something better for you.

mccoffee
03-08-06, 01:41 PM
i got an appoiment at 1030 like crime said they are looking at as more of a pysical thing then a mental.


I guess when I was telling the nurse about the chest pain tightness and the attacks with convulsions that's when they knew it was something more pysical

Since it's been two weeks with the prozac according the nurse that should've kicked in since i still got them they knew something isn't right.

So i'll let ya know thanks for the support so far i needed it can't say that enough :)

Scattered
03-08-06, 02:13 PM
So glad you're getting into to see someone. You've been through a lot. Let us know how it goes.

Scattered

mccoffee
03-08-06, 02:21 PM
So glad you're getting into to see someone. You've been through a lot. Let us know how it goes.

Scattered
If this doesn't work i'm going to see a vet get fixed and hamster replaced for head and heart it might do me and the rest of the world some justice.

crime_scene
03-08-06, 08:00 PM
glad you got in to see the doc, that was the best news all day!! good for you!!!!!




ahhh coffee, our little hamsterbrain....:D :D

hehe, just trying it out:D :D

mccoffee
03-08-06, 08:26 PM
hamasterbrain it's more like needs gf to replace old bad memmory

crime_scene
03-08-06, 11:47 PM
or a new fascinating hobby, cuz you have more control over that one!!!

Hey maybe try those flash date parties...you "date" like 10 people in an hour, something like that...oh I know, it's called "speed dating"

Seems like a good way to make a bunch of connections fast.

mccoffee
03-09-06, 01:27 AM
or a new fascinating hobby, cuz you have more control over that one!!!

Hey maybe try those flash date parties...you "date" like 10 people in an hour, something like that...oh I know, it's called "speed dating"

Seems like a good way to make a bunch of connections fast.


speed datting what concept is that where you get hyped on adderall see more then one women in one day?? Is that really now i finnaly figured out why i'm put into the dog house alot :D

crime_scene
03-09-06, 01:38 AM
hehe...well presumably you haven't been dating someone else first :eek: ;) :D


(open rule book, check rule #1 for relationships)

mccoffee
03-09-06, 01:48 AM
hehe...well presumably you haven't been dating someone else first :eek: ;) :D


(open rule book, check rule #1 for relationships)

so whatcha you are saying that the first girl in the 10mins will be the one all the other girls get jelous off then??:faint:

crime_scene
03-09-06, 01:55 AM
oh man, you are serious trouble!!!!

mccoffee
03-09-06, 02:01 AM
thank you mam can I have another ?:D

crime_scene
03-09-06, 02:15 AM
Right you are, you are just another type of Cookie Monster who loves Coooookieeeeeesssss.

chocolate chip, and pecan, and oreos and maple and coconut and gingersnaps and....:D (more trouble!)

mccoffee
03-09-06, 04:12 AM
cookies eh where's my milk :mad: :D

mccoffee
03-09-06, 12:10 PM
alright then I got a new blood pressure pill like i was telling the doc lately this is more pyschial then mental it's like one triggers the other.

He wanted to up the prozac i go let's try anohter blood pressure med since it's mainly the heart betting though the cheast.

crime_scene
03-09-06, 12:30 PM
worth a try, after all, if it's no better you can try something else.

hope you get a good med combo with this. I have heard there is some variability with sides on BP meds so here's hoping!

mccoffee
03-09-06, 12:53 PM
yeah this one is beta blocker i guess it wil help me sleep i go that's great the prozac latley is making me jittery so like you said it's worth a shot.


Yeah so it's liek i'm feeling better not much slowy i am smiling more hopeful and all that it's like lately it's more pyshcial a few times i woke up with the chest promblems.

crime_scene
03-09-06, 07:55 PM
Good to hear it, at least you got some progress and more control over what's going on.

Gotta start somehow, nice going!

mccoffee
03-09-06, 09:00 PM
I just took the new one my god no more chest tightness feeling much much better need some rest though still haven't slept from last night.

crime_scene
03-09-06, 09:04 PM
YAY!!!!!!! (hey, where are the "party" emoticons?) :D

Hope it continues!!!:p

mccoffee
03-09-06, 09:19 PM
now got to contiue with single ad i'm house broken no fleas, fetches papper and slippers, will stay in dog house.

EYEFORGOT
03-09-06, 10:42 PM
And lick her face when she walks through the door? Eat the food dropped on the floor? Get fixed? =8-O

mccoffee
03-09-06, 10:53 PM
And lick her face when she walks through the door? Eat the food dropped on the floor? Get fixed? =8-O

I'm afaird if i answered yes to that question it will make me less desiarable :)

EYEFORGOT
03-09-06, 10:56 PM
How could anyone refuse your sweet fuzzy face and big brown??? eyes?

mccoffee
03-09-06, 11:09 PM
How could anyone refuse your sweet fuzzy face and big brown??? eyes?

*wags tail*

crime_scene
03-09-06, 11:18 PM
I'm intrigued to know what "big brown??? eyes?" might be...

mccoffee
03-10-06, 12:06 AM
chasing squirrles and tennis balls also playing dead really i need a belly rub

lettie
03-10-06, 12:19 AM
I just read this post for the first time tonight...However, I started with the last and went back....Yikes!!!

mccoffee....does the sad little dog routine work well for you very often :) :)

mccoffee
03-10-06, 12:32 AM
I just read this post for the first time tonight...However, I started with the last and went back....Yikes!!!

mccoffee....does the sad little dog routine work well for you very often :) :)
arf arf woof woof :D

lettie
03-10-06, 02:20 AM
....stick with whatever works my little K-9 friend. Not many girls can resist picking up a lost sad puppy and taking it home with them. Just beware of the dogs already in the house.

mccoffee
03-10-06, 10:49 AM
the thing of it is with the lost puppy is time there with me it's old yellar when it's over :)

crime_scene
03-10-06, 08:39 PM
No , it's ok mama, he's mine so I'll do it.

Gimme the rifle...

(sniff sob hanky)

deja vu huh??? ;) :)

mccoffee
03-11-06, 12:09 AM
No , it's ok mama, he's mine so I'll do it.

Gimme the rifle...

(sniff sob hanky)

deja vu huh??? ;) :)

It will happen if I think about it long enough it willl.

I've been thinking about how to fit a square peg in a round hole for awile now no resaults yet i'll get back to it :)

crime_scene
03-11-06, 01:11 AM
You could make a million if you figure it out.

EYEFORGOT
03-11-06, 01:46 AM
I'm intrigued to know what "big brown??? eyes?" might be...
I wasn't sure if he has big brown eyes in real life. I just thought all dogs do, right?

mccoffee
03-11-06, 07:17 AM
no my eyes are blue somtimes red on the weekends and full moon :)

EYEFORGOT
03-11-06, 11:50 AM
Oohhhhhh...not a pet mutt, a werewolf. Interesting.

I have officially hijacked your thread, I'm sorry. Have a good weekend.

mccoffee
03-11-06, 01:06 PM
Oohhhhhh...not a pet mutt, a werewolf. Interesting.

I have officially hijacked your thread, I'm sorry. Have a good weekend.

np on the hyjack feel free to rub belly any time :)

crime_scene
03-11-06, 04:57 PM
Hey I started the hijack, no fault insurance, folks.

Anyway, coffee, seems you are feeling a little more "chase a frisbee" than before.

That's cool.

mccoffee
03-11-06, 06:25 PM
yeah I'm better at the same time though can't seem to still move from some things it sucks.

mccoffee
03-12-06, 07:53 PM
I"m thinking of joing the military ,or finding a job where i could move this is bs nothing is going right i can't fix the damage I've caused to people which sucks now i'm finally back to my old self with this new medacation. I feel like a million bucks now ,yet the damage is done I can't change that God I wish I could though .