I really hate how people always think we don't care. Like we're completely self-centered and have no appreciation for other people. IT'S SO NOT TRUE!!!!! I really do care! Of course I do! I don't mean to forget birthdays, be late everywhere, never pay back money I owe, blurt out the wrong things, be completely inattentive to converstions, be oblivious to my hurtful actions, forget someone got their hair done and fail to notice(at least 10 times already), etc, etc... Why can't people just understand I'm a bonehead and forgive it!!! I have completely ruined friendships over this and it drives me CRAZY!!!!!!!

It's expecially exasperating when they're people you can't say "sorry, I'm ADD, I do things like this but I don't mean it.."(esp. when it's your boss) and they think you're just plain cruel or something. I have more respect for other people than anyone I have ever met and yet sooo many people openly label me "mean".

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I TOTALLY AGREE!!!!! WHY CANT THEY JUST REALIZE WE HAVE PROBLEMS?!?!?!

Actually, with most of my good friends, I joke around about it and they understand it,, and i usually am just like, well... i guess im just retarded (neither I nor them actually think this, as far as i can tell) One of my friend is very OCD about social things, so when i space off during talking to him, he always gets so worried about it, so its always interesting talking to him.


Also, most of my friends are good at dealing with my impulsivity/annoying tendencies or my ability to knock over everything that shouldnt. I know several situations where I have done something or broken something and just could not help it because of my ADHD. It tends to be at a bad time or a bad thing to do it with, and im like... its because im ADHD, i cant help it, i try to as much as i can but i just cant!!! but they dont always accept that and its really rough on me because i feel like i could do something, but i cant, and i try so hard not to.


Do you ever get really really happy when you dont do something or exert self-control keys? I know I do.

I totally hear what you're talking about!

I do get very excited when I do things right. It's almost sad though, the things that do make me excited. I get so proud of myself because I made a clear space on my floor, read 2 pages of a text book, or didn't procrastinate on something even if it's just minor. Things that most people wouldn't even notice or think was anything valuable is what I classify as a good day.

Like today for example, I got to class on time eventhough I had to stop for gas(never would have made it if I had to stop any other day!) AND I knew what was going on alllllll class and even participated answers! WHOO!! Sounds minor, but doesn't happen often for me. I am happy with myself today.

I'm also proud of bigger things too though, like never having a car accident with so many near misses(also proud to say not ever my fault). I think with being the space cadet I am I should have plowed into more cars, poles and ditches than I can count. Thats just one example though.

I second the opinion, but do not hold it against them.

I know exactly what you mean. I can deal with being told I goofed up -- what I can't stand is when someone says or acts as if I don't care. The thing is -- they don't get it, because it comes easier to them than to us. Some may never understand but we at least need to and give ourselves some credit. You know you care. You also know how hard it is to get a room organized or get somewhere on time. It is a big deal! Celebrate it!:)

Scattered

When I make one of my many mistakes in a social situation, I take a tip from the character Denny Crain (played by William Shattner) on the tv show "Boston Legal." I tap my forhead, give a mild head shake and "confess: "Mad Cow Disease." It gets a laugh and is less humiliating that appologizing for the 100th time.

I have been called A**hole so many times I was begining to believe them.

I've got this too.

I agree, I really do care and I wish other's could see that nothing I do, or don't do, is because I don't care.

I know exactly how you feel...You just described me to a tee. This is why I only have 2 real friends (other than my husband). 1 is also ADD and the other is Bipolar. You should be around on the weekends, we really are a hoot.

Unfortunatley until people finally realize it's not just a "kid thing" and "you'll get over it" it's always gonna be this way. Really stinks. But hey WE ALL HAVE EACH OTHER!

But hey WE ALL HAVE EACH OTHER!

amen to that!

I also hate.....well, I have a friend who deliberately remembers every birthday, anniversary, holiday, etc...with a card or a small gift. She KNOWS I cannot remember birthdays, and as far as being able to get my act together with cards (um, card, stamps, remember to mail) or gifts (heck, I can't remember cat food!)....it's almost...I don't know...manipulative? cruel? It's like she's trying to 'one up' me with the cute little remembrance stuff.

Do you think I'm imagining that there is something wrong with this?

The flip side...is that I have several friends who are relieved that I'm like that.... they know that I'd rather we not do the gift or card thing, because I'm so bad at it. I've even had friends where our mutual gift is to do NOTHING for each others birthdays or at Christmas. Ain't that cute?

You know Joy,
Sometimes friends that do remember everything like that are so irritating !
There is no way that I'm going to be that kind of friend back. (0: I'll remember your birthday...but you'll get the present a few days late every time.
I don't 'do' guilt trips like that though, so if it is manipulation on their part..it's a wasted effort.
If it's done from their heart, however, and there's no expectation back, whatsoever..that's a different story.
Cuz they'll get their present a few days late just the same, LOL !

Nova

I really hate how people always think we don't care. Like we're completely self-centered and have no appreciation for other people. IT'S SO NOT TRUE!!!!! I really do care! Of course I do! I don't mean to forget birthdays, be late everywhere, never pay back money I owe, blurt out the wrong things, be completely inattentive to converstions, be oblivious to my hurtful actions, forget someone got their hair done and fail to notice(at least 10 times already), etc, etc... Why can't people just understand I'm a bonehead and forgive it!!! I have completely ruined friendships over this and it drives me CRAZY!!!!!!!

It's expecially exasperating when they're people you can't say "sorry, I'm ADD, I do things like this but I don't mean it.."(esp. when it's your boss) and they think you're just plain cruel or something. I have more respect for other people than anyone I have ever met and yet sooo many people openly label me "mean".

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Ironically the solution to your frustration is to truly stop caring.

It's your birthday? good for you.