t-fo
02-15-06, 10:14 PM
hello. i just joined this blog group after recently exploring ADD and finding this website very informative.
i am 23 and have never been diagnosed with ADD. i was a spastic child when my parents first took me to a doctor and were informed that i "could pay attention to things I like doing, and therefore does not have ADD." i was the clown in every class up until highschool without my grades ever suffering. then the summer before highschool, i started smoking pot and cigarettes and became completely introverted. I maintained grades well enough in highschool, except in math, as i had to cheat off everyone else. i never had to study or do much homework during those years, which i think may be the reason i passed. paying attention wasnt always so easy for me but I didn't care as hadn't planned to ever amount to anything in life. my senior year of highschool i returned to a doctor to inquire about me and ADD, and his response was that i was depressed and gave me anti-depressants that i never took. over the past few years i went to college on and off and partied the rest of the time. ive noticed myself becoming more and more paranoid and anti-social and its harder for me to carry on relevant conversations with people. I get more nervous and anxious than before. I quit smoking pot, due to that reason. I quit getting drunk due to an ulcer and find it hard to socialize, or even want to. Thats about my life until now...
...so being clean and sober is the best way to attend college, right? Wrong! when i was stoned all the time i could occasionally make myself do things. Now i find it hard to give a damn about anything and can't seem to concentrate on anything that takes the least bit of effort. im not hyper, in fact, im tired most of the time.(although i tap my feet often and chew the hell outta my fingers.) I try to pump myself up in the morning "today im gonna pay attention and do my homework" but my mind bounces around like a ping-pong game and i usually throw my books at the wall after attempting to study for 20-30 minuets. ill ask my professor a question and not even listen to what they have to say. sometimes i think that im on the right track and someday everything will make sense, and other days i think i should of died three years ago and want to just get wasted till i stop waking up. i think i act like an ******* most of the time as an only defense for feeling so outta place all the time. I think i tend to drag myself into negative mindsets from constant lack of accomplishment, though.
i finally accepted the fact that something has to change and today I talked to a doctor and got a Px for strattera. does this sound like a good move? you guys know a whole lot more about that stuff than I. sorry about the rant and thanks for listening. im trying to be positive! i just want results!
t-fo.
i am 23 and have never been diagnosed with ADD. i was a spastic child when my parents first took me to a doctor and were informed that i "could pay attention to things I like doing, and therefore does not have ADD." i was the clown in every class up until highschool without my grades ever suffering. then the summer before highschool, i started smoking pot and cigarettes and became completely introverted. I maintained grades well enough in highschool, except in math, as i had to cheat off everyone else. i never had to study or do much homework during those years, which i think may be the reason i passed. paying attention wasnt always so easy for me but I didn't care as hadn't planned to ever amount to anything in life. my senior year of highschool i returned to a doctor to inquire about me and ADD, and his response was that i was depressed and gave me anti-depressants that i never took. over the past few years i went to college on and off and partied the rest of the time. ive noticed myself becoming more and more paranoid and anti-social and its harder for me to carry on relevant conversations with people. I get more nervous and anxious than before. I quit smoking pot, due to that reason. I quit getting drunk due to an ulcer and find it hard to socialize, or even want to. Thats about my life until now...
...so being clean and sober is the best way to attend college, right? Wrong! when i was stoned all the time i could occasionally make myself do things. Now i find it hard to give a damn about anything and can't seem to concentrate on anything that takes the least bit of effort. im not hyper, in fact, im tired most of the time.(although i tap my feet often and chew the hell outta my fingers.) I try to pump myself up in the morning "today im gonna pay attention and do my homework" but my mind bounces around like a ping-pong game and i usually throw my books at the wall after attempting to study for 20-30 minuets. ill ask my professor a question and not even listen to what they have to say. sometimes i think that im on the right track and someday everything will make sense, and other days i think i should of died three years ago and want to just get wasted till i stop waking up. i think i act like an ******* most of the time as an only defense for feeling so outta place all the time. I think i tend to drag myself into negative mindsets from constant lack of accomplishment, though.
i finally accepted the fact that something has to change and today I talked to a doctor and got a Px for strattera. does this sound like a good move? you guys know a whole lot more about that stuff than I. sorry about the rant and thanks for listening. im trying to be positive! i just want results!
t-fo.