I am strongly suspecting bipolar.

Please give me your take. I can't see myself unless someone reflects me back.

Another trouble is definitions are digital and humans are analog and I have strong OCD traits. If the definition doesn't match exactly it isn't me.

I think my coping mechanisms shield me also. I turn the mania into construction not destruction and I tell myself "it's a bad flag" (a brain bug) and ride out the depression and usually no one is the wiser. Mania episodes are marked by enormous production and I become gregarious, fun loving, and will take risks. I'm still sane enough to filter stupidity from calculated risk though. That translates into I make money. The depressive cycle: I become much more introverted, lose my nerve (but no one knows it but me), can't rapid fire back puns perhaps because I don't want to.

I cycle quickly. I've actually done complete cycles in under 24 hours. The past week, however, was a week long cycle. Started off smoking. Went to Hades. Rocking now. Event wise the past week was pretty flat. Hmmmmmmn, am I attributing the triggers or are the triggers triggering? Seems like the former doesn't it.

Thank you for all your help. Past and what's coming. I deeply appreciate it.

Bob

Well if any help, Bob, thanks for describing me
:-)

Everything from ECT, through lithium to lamotrigine thrown at me (by way of treating the harder depressions); only saved by warring clinicians, and their choice of strategy.

Can continue to reflect, but you might want another mirror, to be sure?
Probably for the best, too.

All I can say, from my own perspective, and you know what I'm about to say, was that working out what mattered and didn't ... and then doing everything that did to frightening excess was the solution.

The longer we accumulate knowledge the harder the dumb stuff is to do; take an explanation for this any which way ... but you know that mine will relate to mind, somehow.

Everything that did help me -- was related to making things that didn't make sense, make sense.

Helps to isolate yourself away from external influences to work out what matters to you; when you see -- you'll instictively know.

Stay cool dude!

SB.

Your description sounds very familiar (I'm bipolar), but my question would be "Is it something you want or need to treat?"

It seems as if you've got it handled, but if the swings are out of hand, get it checked out.

Good luck, Bob!

Heya Bob,
What did your PsychDoc say ?
He/she would be the one who would be the one to talk with, as far as getting the best answer..

None of us, on this forum, is qualified to give medical advice...Andrew would kick our dupas..know what I mean ?? (0:

Besides...it would just do you so good to get yourself a great PsychDoc, Bud..if you want to, that is..
No one's forcing you to do anything you don't want to do though..

Peace,

Nova