Hi, my name is Bekkii and I am new here. I was just diagnosed last week with ADD. I am 31.
This thread caught my attention with regards to sexual promiscuity...is that a part of it? In my earlier years and prior to being married I was kinda 'out there'. Those thoughts have not gone but are metered by the fact that I love my husband and demand monogomy of myself in this relationship.
I would also like to hear more about hyperfocus. This is something I do an awful lot - it is almost obsession like. Is that normal in these parts?

Bekkii,

ADHD is caused by an understimulated brain - prefrontal cortex they tell me. We will do dang near anything to light that ol cortex up. Sex, drugs, fast cars, jump out of airplanes, anything.

When something does light up the ol cortex, we go into hyperfocus. And, if it is a positive, we get very good at something that brings us some sorely needed praise. The hyperfocus is reinforced.

Now, like you, well I guess visa-versa, I love my wife and I demand monogomy of myself. I want it from her. I expect it from myself.

Yes, promiscuity is normal in these parts, and yes, so is hyperfocus. Both got to be controlled if we have any desire to be really happy. Alone is not happy in my book.

Bob

Bekkii;

ADHD is characterized by impulsivity and difficulties regulating attention.

For some, the impulsivity can lead to sexual promiscuity. Also, since the ability to control what one is focused on is impaired, we often tend to either be very scattered , or very tightly focused (hyperfocused). It varies a lot, and it all depends on things like environmental setting, distractions in the environment, and variations from one individual to the next. There is a big range in traits among people with ADHD.

The key thing to remember is that it is all about impulsivity and focusing.

Me :D

Hi, my name is Bekkii and I am new here. I was just diagnosed last week with ADD. I am 31.
This thread caught my attention with regards to sexual promiscuity...is that a part of it? In my earlier years and prior to being married I was kinda 'out there'. Those thoughts have not gone but are metered by the fact that I love my husband and demand monogomy of myself in this relationship.
I would also like to hear more about hyperfocus. This is something I do an awful lot - it is almost obsession like. Is that normal in these parts?

One of the evidenced based (research substantiated) RISK FACTORS for untreated ADHD is a greater likelihood of STD's and teen pregnancies.

My reference is Russ Barkely's power points from his March teleconference on ADHD in Children.

Those data are old news and have been mentioned in many different reference sources.

Well, the nailed in in one with me then...two teen pregnancies and I am on marriage number two. Don't get me wrong here, I am a barrel of giggles but I have a great knack for jumping from the frying pan and into the fire...then thinking, "Ooooh s**t!! Thats hot", after the fact.
Nice comments I recieve are "You let your heart rule your head". Not so nice is "You act first, think later".
I am constantly looking for the next wild adventure and get depressed when life becomes to routine and mundane. I used to race jet ski's and ride a motor bike, I have jumped out of planes, gone bungy jumping and every damn near crazy *** thing I could think of for kicks.
I am ashamed to say that the life I have now leaves me dis-satisfied and bored of my hooters.

(Who's a naughty girl then?)

No need to apologize for doing things most people just dream of (or watch on World's Most Amazing Police Chases...lol).

At least you don't have to look back and say,"Gee, I wonder what that was like ?" :)

It is not uncommon for someone with ADHD to seek stimulation in "risky" activities such as those you listed. The adrenalin rush is rather soothing to an ADDer.. we have troubles regulating seratonin and dopamine, so we often instinctively seek ways of getting a little boost for our neurotransmitters......

Your account of "dangerous" hobbies and impulsive relationships sounds a lot like myself.... and it is something you hear a lot of on these forums...


ME :D


Well, the nailed in in one with me then...two teen pregnancies and I am on marriage number two. Don't get me wrong here, I am a barrel of giggles but I have a great knack for jumping from the frying pan and into the fire...then thinking, "Ooooh s**t!! Thats hot", after the fact.
Nice comments I recieve are "You let your heart rule your head". Not so nice is "You act first, think later".
I am constantly looking for the next wild adventure and get depressed when life becomes to routine and mundane. I used to race jet ski's and ride a motor bike, I have jumped out of planes, gone bungy jumping and every damn near crazy *** thing I could think of for kicks.
I am ashamed to say that the life I have now leaves me dis-satisfied and bored of my hooters.

(Who's a naughty girl then?)

Why thank you guys...starting to feel like home in here already!!

Have you heard of Hallowell's RSS that he has discussed in regard to risk-taking behavior. I saw it in his Delivered from Distraction and it perfectly described how I was in my late teens and early 20's. It's one of the main reasons I think there are different conditions all under ADD...some people have zero risk taking behavior, low impulsivity and no hyperactivity but are still ADD. Then there are those of us like you Utter!! Glad you're here!

I must say thanks to everyone in this forum. I am a brand new member, and I too have found so much helpful info, and insight. Things that have happened in my life that I always thought was just me being "stupid" and later so ashamed, my depression would kick in. I am so glad the support is here.

I also realize that I have made the same wrong choices that parents made with me, in regards to saying comments.. like " hurry up" "why didn't you remember", among others, I would always say, in a joking manner, oh, ur just like me. But never realizing those were the same hurtful words my parents said.

It is true.. learning is the key. Hopefully its not to late for me to change my behavior for their sake.

wow this sounds like me to a tee...... needing a rush... fufilling it.... followed by depression..... without the rush i don't feel alive most of the time.... controlling behavior sometimes leaves me feeling caged.... so frustrating.....

that aside I love alot about my add... creativity and big picture thinking

I must say thanks to everyone in this forum. I am a brand new member, and I too have found so much helpful info, and insight. Things that have happened in my life that I always thought was just me being "stupid" and later so ashamed, my depression would kick in. I am so glad the support is here.

Yeah that (points up):D

You guys are the bomb...I have learned so much more in this forum than I have found in my shrinks chair at $170 per hour for the pleasure (though I do enjoy her company).

I am not doing any of the wild and crazy stuff now though...(boo hoo....waaaaaaaaaaaaah).

Does anyone in here find thier creative juices dry up once the brain settles? I mean its fab, don't get me wrong. I think before I speak, I make clear decisions and I am a lot happier...however song writing has done a nose dive...

hmmmmmmmm

hehehe, in one week my senior year of college, I:

Stood on a weight bridge narrower than a sidewalk, 50 feet above a stage, leaning over the abyss juggling 25 pound wrought-iron weights so that we could hang lights.

Did full-speed sparring with weapons and no pads

Skiied down black-diamon slopes at full speed.

Yeah, I'd say that add can tend to lend itself to a bit of risk taking.

With the sexual stuff, sex and add meds affect the brain in very similar ways, as they both cause an increase in the same neurotransmitters. This is, incidentally, why add meds can sometimes lead to an increase in sex drive, albeit with a fortunate increase in judgement.

Well - I guess thats a win/win situation...no cyote ugly business....




which is rather good, as I am quite fond of both my arms...(*cheeky grin*)

Does anyone in here find thier creative juices dry up once the brain settles? I mean its fab, don't get me wrong. I think before I speak, I make clear decisions and I am a lot happier...however song writing has done a nose dive...

hmmmmmmmm
yep :-( taking photos have taken a bit of a downslide, but the ideas and enthusiasm are coming back. I used to be a bit manic with my camera, now it just sits there waiting for me to use it :p

Actually, risk-taking is very common with ADD/ADHD. Sometimes I tell my friends that if they knew the things I've done they wouldn't like me anymore. Ever see the movie "Dazed And Confused"? It's all true. It's the era from which I came. One of my favorite things to do is sit on the edge of a cliff and let my feet dangle, just to be able to say I did it and to enjoy the view. What I wouldn't give to parasail, windsurf and hang glide!
But then I think of my past sins and it's amazing I'm alive today.
Fortunately, with age comes wisdom, and these days wisdom wins out. I have many, many regrets which is a side-effect of 'living the free-spirit life'.
So please weigh carefully the fun vs. the consequences. While I refuse to live in fear of what might happen, sometimes we really do need to use our heads over our hearts.
PS – I really love the avatars in here. I wish I knew where to find some. That's not a hint. I just wish I knew where to look.