Hi there!

I'm kinda new to these boards. I did post an Intro a few days back, and I have posted a few comments over the past several months. However, I'd like to put something out here in the hopes that maybe there are others who have experienced something similar.

I got diagnosed about 3 or 4 years ago, but I haven't received MUCH besides that in terms of follow-up. I DO have a prescription for Adderall - which helps - although I believe a could benefit from a higher dose (I am perscribed one 20mgXR in the a.m. and a 10mgIR in the afternoon.). Anyway . . . here I am, and WOW - this website seems to touch on ALL aspects of ADHD. That's terrific! BUT - I feel very much like a "dum-dum" as I read all the posts. The reasons for this are many.

First off - it seems that so many posters know SO MUCH about ADHD. It doesn't just seem like stuff from books, but as if many of you have a really comprehensive understanding of the condition and can explain it from all different angles.

Next - people here are very articulate and complex, sophisticated, and obviously very educated thinkers and communicators. YIKES!! I was told that my IQ is above average, but it must be like 1 pt. above average (and it must have been one of those "good days").

Okay - I hope some of you can accept me here, and take my contributions on this forum as they are meant - benign but candid. I am just wonderin' where the rest of the "stuff ups" like myself are?? What's the deal!?! lol Is anyone else out there living a life that is pretty much messed up!! I sure am! I am almost 40 and a single mother of 2 (from 2 different fathers) - and that's just a few sprinkles off the top of this crumb cake!

I'm not too good at computer talk, I guess, as I have already had 2 of my posts deleted. (??? I think I'm a pretty benevolent mellow person ??? but I was called to HR more than once about my emails at my prior place of employment!!!)

So - basically just trying to get to meet some people - some people like me. You could say at this stage in the game it's kind of a "misery loves company" kinda email. ANYBODY OUT THERE???? ANY TAKERS????

Replies and any possible encouragement and "I've been there" would be greatly appreciated!!

Sue ((((hugs))))

Lol!
You are not alone my dear.
I do believe that we're blessed to see the products of AD/HD on this forum, and the intelligence they wield, but not everyone here is articulate. Different people shine in different ways.
It sounds like people here know a lot about ADD because they DO. And most of them learned it HERE.
Soon you'll find yourself quite educated on the subject too. Information is free and bountiful within this family.
Welcome.

Yeah,

Ive totally learned an incredible amount of stuff from this forum. I have a pretty good idea of what is going on due to my own introspection into my ADHD and what i'm doing and then when i found this, i juxtaposed(sorry, i like this word, its a big one, i dont use them much, but this i do, it means essentially compared with) this info on the forum vs. my experiences in life and have been able to draw a lot of information from that. I also have taken a few classes in pych and neuroscience and so i have a good grasp of that.

Even if you dont know a lot about ADHD or understand it, you are just as much of an integral part of this community by asking questions and getting people to think about things, and you can always put in your support that "i have this too!" It helps me definitely see whats going on in the big picture with ADHD and what can go on with it. You will also have your insights and other moments of genius, so there is no reason to worry about not knowing much about it, i know when i came here, i had really no idea how much ADHD had affected me.

I doubt you are just 1 pt. above average, you seem like you are more aware of what is going on with you then somone who has that IQ. If you dont understand whats going on or whats being talked about, you can always get more info about it on here. Many of the people on here have been studying ADHD or are psycologists or just do this kind of thing for a hobby, so obviously they are going to have more knowledge on the subject than you.

Well, I think I have had enough talking for now, but I totally understand where you are coming from, not knowing anything, just take what you know and experience and apply it to the forum, and everyone will appreciate you more for it. Ive gotten a few posts deleted, so I can see where you are coming from, and many of mine are moved, just learn what you can when you can, we are ADHD so of course we dont have the focus to read the directions, and the moderators understand this :)

THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK GUYS!!! I really appreciate the thought you put into your posts. REALLY! It means a lot to me. I feel VERY isolated and alone with this ADHD thing, and very often I feel as though I don't belong because I guess I'm really not so confident of MY ADHD diagnosis.

The ONLY part of the "tests" that I can remember there being a result that REALLY showed my "attention problem" was the part where my psychologist (at the time) read a story to me, then asked me questions about it. (Listening Comprehension??) I I did VERY POORLY on that, especially in comparison with how I "tested" on the IQ parts (I think that consisted of him saying a word and me talking about it. This went on and on, and I did very well. I even was quick enough to consistently talk about each word in the same way (that impresses me even today that I was so on the ball like that). I said the TYPE of word (verb, adverb, noun, etc.) and then said the ROOT of the word, and then the word's DEFINITION and how it can be (and GENERALLY is) used in a sentence.

I had questionairres for OTHERS in my family, etc to complete and I completed one or two I think. I did NOT have any feedback from when I was a child. My parents are not available to me in that way - so that was a problem for me. I only really remember that I was pretty much a "good" student up until Jr High and High School. And I felt pretty popular and pretty talented. I think I had both poor self-esteem AND areas of delusionally GOOD self-esteem (which I still do and I also see this in my older daughter). Not really bipolar grandiosity, but more like (for instance) my daughter wanted so badly to be an athlete and play basketball for her school. She is at the top of her class, but she is not naturally a physically and athletically talented girl. She DID, however, cultivate the "winning attitude" and cardio and strength training necessary - and she definitely gave "110%", hussled, improved, knew the game, etc. YET - she just wasn't good at making baskets or any of the other specific BASKETBALL skills needed, but she DID NOT know this. When it was said to her, she just brushed it off as people being jealous. I was embarrassed to even WATCH her play. She was SO BAD!! My heart broke for her, and I did what I thought any good person would do - I gently - but FIRMLY - ended up telling her (after trying numerous times to encourage her elsewhere) she didn't appear to have that talent and SO WHAT? And how about THIS other sport, whatever. NOPE - she INSISTED she was VERY GOOD!! What a SHOCK to her that she didn't make the team. To this day, I think she still thinks she's a good basketball player.

Anyway, I guess that was a "tangent." Sorry.

Sue

I also have a bad case of the duality of a very strong and very weak self-perception or self-esteem. While I would argue I am closer to bi-polar than some, my doctor is helping me to understand that I often use an inappropriate reference point for both self-evaluations but that I should relate more to the stronger one as he says it's more accurate. I just wanted to share how strongly I can relate to the "I am the greatest, no I suck debate" that can rage on in your head.

Hi Sue,

I so much can identify with you about how much it seems everyone else knows and how much I am still learning. What I do know is that if there is anything I can do to give support to someone in my shoes I'll gladly do it, simple person that I am in my own simple words. Just be yourself. I also can identify with you about your daughter. My daughter is not athletic either but has found something she really does like, Volleyball. It's not the most popular sport but if it's good for her I am happy that she gets the excersize. She is more academic and I support her in every way in that area. All we can do is give them support and help them to have a positive attitude. Sometimes it will break our hearts to see them fail, but as long as we are there to catch them when they fall. That goes for my friends here too. You've got a friend here. Dee

Thanks Kokomo!! It's weird, and it's funny to me that I have things that I may be OVER-confident about because there are so many things about me that I feel negatively about. I like the sound of your "doctor" - that you said he is

". . helping me to understand that I often use an inappropriate reference point for both self-evaluations but that I should relate more to the stronger one as he says it's more accurate."
Have you been seeing this doctor for long? I am in counseling and it is finally going OK after what has been a long search to find someone for me. I decent counseling relationship is so important to me. An excellent counselor is just a wonderful blessing. I hope my counseling helps me.

CHAMELEON - I LOVE your blue rose!! That is such a pretty color!!

TATER - In spite of my embarrassment, would you please tell me who your avatar is? I have a feeling that is someone VERY important. (Too bad I don't LOOK like Jessica Simpson or Anna Nichole . . . )

Again, thanks you all for your reading my thread and your thoughtful responses. I am really wanting this kind of interaction. :o

Sue

Sue,

All I can say is you are very real, very cool, very intelligent and very good people.

Sorry, I'm bushed today an incapable of a 20 billion word post. Then, again, maybe I said it all in just 17 words.

Bob

I like my child psychiatrist very much. At our first meeting, once he heard some of my symptmology, he spent most of the rest of time questioning about other characteristics of ADD like he had known me my whole life. At first I thought me must be a like "mind reader" or something I was just so impressed, and I don't usually get impressed easily. From reading a lot, I have since learned he was just very very familiar with the traits of a flaming ADHD'er and I am practically textbook of the high-achieving ADHD'er. It was a neat experience and I hope my insurance will cover his treatment. At $200.00 per visit, it's been a little tough financially so I am eagerily awaiting my first EOB to see if I can get some of that money back. While he's helping me more than $1,000.00 per month, I won't be able to afford that forever!

I am so glad that you found a good provider. Without offending any of the professionals who frequent this board, I would argue that a fair percentage of mental health providers are useless! But if you find a good one, they can be like gold! I hope your therapist continues to help you see all the great qualities that you have so you can be OVER-confident in everything. If the worst thing anyone could ever say is that you're a little bit "cocky" about your strengths, there could certainly be worse things we've all been called!! LOL! So glad you're here!

Dee, Bob, Kokomo!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you all for reading my posts and being so kind!! Honest to goodness, I feel such a lift right now because of this little connection. It really means a lot!!

Dee, I am so glad you shared that you can identify and have offered your hand to me. Thank you so much. Actually - you are RIGHT ON about the volleyball. Thank goodness my daughter loves that sport too. She is on the team also, and, like you said, I am here anytime she might fall. It does kill you though, doesn't it? My daughter is so dainty and beautiful, she's very artistic and musical and has the body of a ballerina. She was a beautiful dancer when she was little, and I wanted her to follow in my "footsteps" because she was talented (I could tell) AND - she would have gone further than me because of her body type. BUT, I knew not to be that creepy parent who really pressures there kid to live out THEIR dreams. . . . I love her no matter WHAT she does, but it IS hard to watch her get hurt.

Bob - I remember my impression of you from your posts to others - and that you have read MINE and RESPONDED - well, I'm flattered. Thanks for all the nice compliments. (Ya - I really am ALL THAT!!! lol)

Kokomo - you're lucky you've got that Child Psych at your disposal!!! Good for you!!! Ya, I've had some big disappointments in my recent search for a professional. It's amazing how many "bad fits" I seemed to find. I just decided to work with what I've got NOW while I have the time and insurance. Good luck to us both!!

Later,
Sue

Sue- to answer your question, that is Che Guevera. He was a radical leftist who fought all over latin america to try and do things for the poor of those nations (i.e. he was a communist revolutionary, amazing how those 2 statements are interpreted differently, but say the same thing). He is somone who I admire, although do not necessarily agree with his means, i happen to be a left-wing anarchist pacifist (but these are just labels to put you nearer to why i have that picture up, not really what i "am").


I'm really glad you are finding people you can connect with through this post! I know at first i was really scared and overwhelmed, but as i started to post, i realized how great everyone is on this community, and I think you are starting to see that also.

First off - it seems that so many posters know SO MUCH about ADHD. It doesn't just seem like stuff from books, but as if many of you have a really comprehensive understanding of the condition and can explain it from all different angles.

Next - people here are very articulate and complex, sophisticated, and obviously very educated thinkers and communicators. YIKES!! I was told that my IQ is above average, but it must be like 1 pt. above average (and it must have been one of those "good days").



((hugs))) Sue, I feel the same way and yes we do have some VERY VERY articulate and complex, sophisticated, and obviously very educated thinkers and communicators here. I'm not one, I'm just your average joegirl who can't spell well, has trouble getting my words out and I'm not all that sophisticated... :p

But I've learned so much and have to come to see the people here don't care ( well maybe one or two, you know who you are ;) ) I'm average joegirl

Well, I have to run to work soon, so I'm going to have to keep this short, and I haven't read everything yet. But I wanted to say, don't worry sloppitty-sue, you're not the slow one!

Myself, I like to think I know a fair amount about ADHD so far, although certainly not everything. Have you read about how ADHD people can "hyperfocus" on things? Well, I hyperfocus on ADHD. And like some others here, I gathered quite a bit of info through this site.

Part of that hyperfocus on ADHD (which I know other people here have too!) is being happy anybody asks a question about it. So don't be afraid to post and ask if you're confused about something.

Secondly, you certainly sound like a bright lady to me. I think a lot of us grow up feeling slower than we are, but I can certainly see that you're not slow, and you communicate just fine.

Myself, I'm studying journalism and I'll probably be a writer of some sort by trade, so I sometimes seem to give the impression to people of being more together than I actually am. If I was that together, I wouldn't be here. :D

Anyway, never saw your earlier posts, so hi and welcome!

Sue,

An insincere compliment feels belittling to the recipient. So I decided to always say what I think or don’t say anything.

I mean it.

You are very real.

There is no put-on in your posts.

You are very cool.

Because there is no put-on, the real Sue shows. She's cool.

You are very intelligent.

I derived that from how articulate you are. Listen, let me tell you about "articulation." I am not articulate when weighing words for effect. But if I'm just myself, I can spit words out like a machine gun.

You are good people.

You love your daughter and concerned enough about her to tell her the truth. Beautiful.

So Sue, do you see, you really are all those things I called you?

Let's look at why the "crazies" don't recognize our intelligence. First let me say that the stories I tell about how my wife and I interface are the truth but sometimes I do a little of embellishing to make them more funny. This one is absolutely without embellishment.

I was outside looking at a shed we want to modify to better store all the needless junk we can't throw out. I run into the door and yell, "Honey, come out here." I just had a "revelation" that I wanted to show her. In the meantime, ADHD brain runs a few thousand unrelated threads. A few minutes later wife shows up and I start talking about something totally unrelated. It is bitter cold out. Wind is howling. Finally, wife, shivering, turning blue, and gangerene setting in (darn embellishing) asks, what did you want? I'm stymied. What the hades did I want? Finally, oh yeah ………….

Now, I did stuff like that in school. Still do stuff like that in business. Guess what many people think about ol Bob? That's right – none too bright.

That is why it is important for us to never forget … They are dumb. We are smart.

Bob

keep reading the forums, and pretty soon you will be as "educated" as the rest of us. and yes, you are above average intelligence. you're an adder, are you not? i think we all have to be above average just to survive this world. just imagine if we didn't have wits -- we would be floundering even more than we are. :eek: