Hey guys,

Quick Background:
Although those around me and I have struggled with it my entire life, I just got diagnosed with ADHD, Hyperactive-impulsive type. It's so strange to me that I was never diagnosed as a child because frankly, I was totally insane. Apparently, because I was smart (high IQ) and got good grades, everyone just assumed that I was weird. I think that only reason that I got though my childhood to be the productive person I am today was because I had such loving and caring parents.

Now I'm 19, majoring in Neuroscience at College, and planning to go to medical school. I'm doing well, but I finally got tested because the fact that I'm soooooo hyperactive was affecting my social life way too much. I also have minor OCD and GAD, and the insane amount of effort that I was having to exert to control my behavior was producing so much stress that the anxiety was getting unbearable.

Anyway, I was thinking about it, and I would love to hear people's individual experiences of their own unique flavor of ADHD

I'll start:
So when I finally got diagnosed, my psychologist’s exact words were: "your so hyperactive, I have no idea how you function at the level that you do". I literally (unless I'm on meds or drunk) am completely incapable of sitting still, ever. I feel like I have this ball of electricity inside of me that's firing through my limbs at all times. A lot of the time, forcing myself to sit still is actually painful. I'm hyper vigilant, and quickly get over stimulated because I always aware of every little thing around me. My senses are far more acute than anyone else I know. I'll be in a big classroom with 30 people, working in small groups of five, and I'll start laughing because my friend Dan has said something funny, everyone looks at me strangely and I look around and realize he's on the other side of the room. I feel like I'm experiencing every single thing in my environment way more intensely than anyone else. I get bored easily, and I love high adrenaline situations. I find my self praying during class for a meteor to blow through the roof so I can act on my energy…

Anyway, I'd love to hear other people’s experiences of their ADHD

I notice you've only posted a couple times yet, so allow me to welcome you to the forums! You sound like an interesting person -- I'm looking forward to seeing more of your posts.

Yep, sounds like you have got a big whopping case of the old H. :)
I'm a bit surprised, because given your age I would think they'd have been all over that in school. Maybe it's that gifted cover-up thing -- gifted kids can't be disordered... :rolleyes:

Anyway, I have been diagnosed combined type. I was not nearly as hyper as you in school. I'm more the stimulationg seeker/impulsive type.

I was a class clown. I remember one time, my teacher insisted that I be drug/alcohol tested because I kept coming to his class high. I was totally surprised at this -- I had just thought I was cutting up a bit, not that I was out of control... This was actually long before I discovered drugs and alcohol.

I was also considered somewhat crazy. Like when surfing, I would purposely surf into close-out waves because I liked that almost-drowned feeling as you go through the spin cycle. And lots of other dumb stuff, much of it of dubious legality, but I won't bore you with that. ;)

Kind of the lazy loser, hoodlum-in-training, rebel without a clue type.

As an all-growed-up adult, I have left my hoodlum ways behind me, but retained my intense dislike for authority with a healthy dose of procrastinating computer junkie. My constant quest for stimulation seems to have settled into a workaholic/volunteer-aholic/"safe" stimulation seeker persona. At 35 I'm still practicing judo...

Big time hyperactive here, but I have mellowed over the years. Was fairly RSS early on if you know that term, but impulsivity really hasn't been a problem for the last decade or so. Mostly now struggle with constant hyperfocus that manifests itself in perpetual compulsive behavior where I find a hobby, fully engross myself, get bored, find another more interesting topic to focus on. It's a great mindstyle if I could just focus it on work for a little while!!

what does "RSS" mean?

lot of the time, forcing myself to sit still is actually painful.

Hello!!!! Yippeee another one of “us”…bouncy butts!!!!

hyper="H" factor!!!!!

I am pure impulsive-hyperactive!!!!

And female no less!!!!!


A discription I wrote from epigenetics thread (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showpost.php?p=254954&postcount=69) a while back you may relate to totally.

I hear I wiggle due to lack of impulse control----"plant food" I can stop moving it just hurts to do so ................where were you in epigentetics??



Apparently, because I was smart (high IQ) and got good grades, everyone just assumed that I was weird

You must be younger than I because those who did not fit in "rank and file" square pegs were retarded......the fact I have dyslexia didn't help much in early grades of school sure comes in handy now!!!!

This is a thread a few post up which is in my opinion why I was hyper active.
It is merely an "idea": based upon stuff I do and stuff I read nn brain things. You may be interested .....maybe......


exercise but* exercise brain (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showpost.php?p=254357&postcount=62)

Any way those should tell you what this post fails to. You may find we are similar or then again you may find I am a total loon, possibly both!!!

Welcome to the forums!!!!!

Hello, and glad your here.

Ok, I guess I'm the different one. I have never really been hyper. Not in the usual sense anyway. I'm the one that can't get motivated to do projects that really need to be done. Especially if I don't care for the task. I used to daydream in grade school all the time. I've been prone to depression, lack of energy and I've felt lack of self-worth. It's taken me many years to over come these obstacles but I'm doing ok right now. I still get hit sometimes with the self-defeatist feelings but I guess because I have such a busy life I get past it easier. What I do find that is hyper about me is my thinking. Sometimes I just can't shut off my brain. I tend to hyper-focus and pick everything apart, myself in particular. I am also sensitive to background noise, especially difficult for me if I am trying to complete a difficult task. Right now I am going through this disappointment in myself that I couldn't finish college. The "have the brain" but didn't use it feelings. I do wonder how many others on this board have the other spectrum of ADD like I have, lack of energy at times etc. and lack of self confidence. This is what prevented me from furthering my education. Although I do have to say that my brain does need the challenge and having two jobs seems to help, but when I am done and get home I crash. My life has definitely been interesting and I could go on and on but this is just and idea of where I am. Thanks for your post and please keep writing. Dee

what does "RSS" mean?
I honestly don't remember what the acronym stands for, but Hallowell referenced a type of impulsive thrill-seeking, death-defying, over-the-top type of behavior sometimes evidenced in ADHD'ers that he referred to as RSS. There was a time in my 20's when I couldn't drive fast enough, do enough activities that threatened my health, safety, and arguably my liberty and freedom to supply enough dopamine to my brain. I outgrew or matured past this phase, but reading it in Delivered from Distraction was frightening to see it labeled as a disorder or condition. I knew it was crazy, but didn't know there was an ADHD link.

Now I'm 19, majoring in Neuroscience at College, and planning to go to medical school. I'm doing well, but I finally got tested because the fact that I'm soooooo hyperactive was affecting my social life way too much. I also have minor OCD and GAD, and the insane amount of effort that I was having to exert to control my behavior was producing so much stress that the anxiety was getting unbearable.Wow good you should be proud of yourself (for majoring at college). I don't really match your case because from the outside I appear very quiet. But, I have great disability when it comes to concentrating on things. These could be complex stuff, such as studying (reading), but also simple stuff, like working at mcdonalds making hamburgers. Or stuff where good concentration are required, like painting, balancing, etc.

I hope you will do well at medical school. And also be proud of what you archieve. I know how difficult this can be.

I have combined type ADHD, which in my case is the worst of all worlds. It effects me in all the ways possible. When it's bad - I can't function.

I was diagnosed with ADHD, Umin, and I still was accused of being drunk, even when I didn't drink,also- must be the Rowdy= Drunk mentality, back when I was in junior high school/high school, LOL!
Thanks for sharing that with me.

Nova

Totally H here! Diagnosed at seven..mellowed out some now, but definitely an H.
My friends used to tell me I should hook something to my behind, and power up my house on it, with all my energy. (0:

Well, I've taken most of the physical energy, and put it towards intellectual energy now,..and that works well..but I still need outlets for my physical energy. Even if it's walking, going dancing, swimming, etc.

I was diagnosed at 3 or 4 with hyperactivity but never put on meds (although the doctor wanted to give me Ritalin -- I think he wanted to have his office survive my visits!). As my mom put it, "A lot of kids are hyperactive but you were obviously so much more!" I settled down in school and the energy went mostly to my mouth. I graduated with two masters degrees pretty mostly by utilizing my hyperfocus and lots and lots of exercise. These days I tend to come off looking like an inattentive -- daydreamy, spacy and such, but still talkative and prefer being on the move. Feel like jumping out of my skin if I have to stay put too long. But being mom of two kids (at least one of whom is ADHD staying still isn't really much of an issue in my life -- it ain't happening!).:D

I started meds recently and that's helped a lot with the internal restlessness and desperation to have some mental topic to focus (obsess) on as well as helping me get around to doing some of the less exciting tasks in life. More than anything it's helped my anxiety and relationship problems (I'm actually able to sit and listen to what my husband is saying with out interrupting or walking off).

Scattered

Wow... im the ADHD with a quadruple sized H, although im starting to be able to control it. Sitting still for me in any situation is pretty much impossible , for example, BOTH of my legs are usually having their own nice little bouncy dance a lot of the time. I have been trying out zen buddhist meditation and its been helping me stay still... but i still am feeling very unsettled doing it, so i hope i will be able to get over this at some point, or at least be able to alter it so i dont.

I was dxed at about 10 or 11, and was so incredibally hyper, and despite being a high functioning and smart, my dx did not go unnoticed i was so bad :). I get reallky really hyper in a group of about 5-6 people or when i get onto a good line of thinking when debating someone and go into hyperkentic hyperfocus mode, which always made debate in high school interesting.

I am the innatentive type/with anxiety. overfocusing,over-thinking, over-cautios and slow9Dh says I'm slower than melasses and the truth is the more you hurry me up, the slower i'll be)
-I am trying to learn how to drive, I do great at 15 miles an hour, but at 20-25 I mess up-hey, I can drive only in school zones :)
I did not have a problem sitting down still - I could sit for hours, and if the subject is to boring I can let my mind wonder-actually she starts wondering by herself.I have to push myself to do the things I do not like, and find hard finishing even things I do like to do...I am dis-organized and forgetfull. If I get tired my mind is in a fog- actually I was accused a couple of times to be "on drugs" becuase I was so foggy I did even the smallest tasks with effort, like i was "out-there"...I probably looked like one of those drug addicts in the advertisings against drugs.
my only "hyper" moments are when I get excited about something and I talk to much, too loud, too fast...or when I am stressed or extremely borted(I have to wait at the doctors for hours looking at the walls) and again , either I talk to fast, to loud , either I start fidgeting. Younger I used to suddenly jump of my place when happy and excited , or jump around the room-my son does the same thing.

While my Dr. didn't tell me what type I am, I feel I am the combined type. My body is in constant motion [legs or foot shaking, rocking upper body if feet on the floor, head shaking "no" if feet on floot and head against head rest (wonder what other people think when they see this...)]. People have always thought that I am crazy because I often feel the need to just get up and run, do push ups, squats...SOMETHING! I zone out on conversations, people say my favorite word is "what?" Also, I have been known to zone out and appear to be checking people out. Sometimes inadvertantly useful ;) sometimes causes trouble :( . I have impulsive spending habits and cannot be without overdraft protection becaue I am inattentive with balancing my checkbook, pretty much out of luck...:faint:


Life pretty much feels like a rollercoaster of hyperactivity and inattentiveness!

I am probably combined type but not dx'd yet. I cant start or finish projects...once I do manage to get started I'm bored and gone in 5 minutes. I can't get motivated at all, even just to get up sometimes, and it takes A LOT of effort to make myself do boring things. I forget EVERYTHING and completely space out in conversations, etc etc. Recently, for example, I went to school without my backpack(which i have to make a mental note of many times on the trip to school and didn't notice all those times), today I went to the wrong building at school and the wrong parking lot for my car. And the list goes on..
However, I have a lower-case h. I can be nuts, many people think I am, and I can't really sit still for long amounts of time, I am always laughing at something, and I seem to have endless energy once I get going and as long as I'm kept going. I can't not be moving when I'm siitting too.
I'd say I'm mostly inattentive though, and thats what causes me the most problems.

I am combined type as well. Have been hyperactive but it mainly manifests itself in being jittery and not able to sit still. I was never the kind of kids who would be bursting out of his seat in school, but would be tapping, shaking my leg, etc. I am also a major distracted type. This is probably my worst sympton.

As an adult, who was not diagnosed until I was thirty, I have adapted myself by giving myself permission to gt up in meetings, etc, and always bring a doodle/jot pad because being able to do that helps to drain the energy and allow me enough reserve to actually pay attention to what it going on.

Every day is still a struggle, but it is at least a struggle with a name. My daughter has the sampe problems, and she's only six, and much more hyperactive than I was. BUt hopefully I can help her through it. Problem is, being ADHD does not always help in the moments when she is really off the rails, so at those times i'm fighting two battles, mine and hers.

Hello, and glad your here.

Ok, I guess I'm the different one. I have never really been hyper. Not in the usual sense anyway. I'm the one that can't get motivated to do projects that really need to be done. Especially if I don't care for the task. I used to daydream in grade school all the time. I've been prone to depression, lack of energy and I've felt lack of self-worth....... I tend to hyper-focus and pick everything apart, myself in particular. I am also sensitive to background noise, especially difficult for me if I am trying to complete a difficult task.
This is me to a T. :o

I am the innatentive type/with anxiety. overfocusing,over-thinking, over-cautios and slow9Dh says I'm slower than melasses and the truth is the more you hurry me up, the slower i'll be)
I can totally relate. I was always put down by my mom and dad (and still am) for how slow I am when completeing a task. It's like I have to focus so much energy on doing mundane of specific tasks that if I don't immidiatly forget what I"m supposed to be doing I go really slow. I daydream all the time and my mind is always working. But I"m always very tired, no matter how much sleep I get.

Aizyline,

I am always tired no matter how much sleep I get too. Not sure why or what to do to help that...

About the hyperactivity or lack thereof.

I think that a lot of us combined-types who were diagnosed in our 30s or beyond may have forgotten how hyper we were as kids. I Know that I had thought of myself as an inattentive type when I first sought out diagnosis, but then going back over my childhood with my mother and grandparents, I realized that I probably qualified as hyper as a kid.

I'm the inattentive type. I also have trouble getting motivated to do things (major procrastinator) and I'm tired all of the time. Now, its probably due to how I love staying up at night, its like I'm the only one alive. But when I was little I would get nothing out of going to sleep.
I also have the anxiety thing, insecurity, over-thinking thing too.
I was never really hyper, except when I find something I love doing or learning about. Then I have to know everything about it, like an obsession.

[/url]Have you ever been assesed for a sleeping disorder? Check out this thread:
[url]http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=25967 (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=25967)

I have not received an official diagnosis and figured I was simply an "inattentive type" but reading your responses makes me wonder. I've always had these times when I was so jittery, sometimes only inside, but sometimes outwardly too with nearly uncontrollable twitches and jiggles. I thought maybe they were due to some anxiety issues, but now... hmmm. I was so jiggeldy one day last week when I was trying to back the car around, that a woman walking past thought I was waving at her, but it was just my hand being jiggeldy. :cool:

maybe you're combined type (Inattentive and Hyperactive/Impulsive).

The then ....

At school - a total loser. Completely in a fog. Daydreaming. About what? How to build logic gates out of relays - was one thread I remember clearly. Also had a ham radio station that completely engrossed me.

Teens to 22 ... fast cars, drugs, airplanes. Sometimes I got high two ways at once. Would buzz my highly poplutated home town not many miles from NYC at dangerously low altitudes. Had a Plymouth Road Runner up to 135mph before chickening out. I tapped the breaks and realized that the brakes were not designed to stop the mass*135mph. I have another confession I think has more to do with being a male teen than ADHD so I'll skip it.

Did not display hyperactive traits - not then or now. But always felt a unrelenting restlessness. Still do.

Obviously an implusive thrill seeker.

The now ...

I've learned to control my implusivity. And am learning how to benefit from my non-linear thinking process and control it when necessary. The control part largely comes from Adderall.

So my flavor of ADHD is, always was able to control the restlessness, solved the implusiveness, still working on the attention thing and suspect (because ADHD is a mostly a hardware problem) will be taking Adderall or similar med till the grave.

Hey, it could be worse.

Bob

I am dx'd an "H" but the symptom that goes with the "H" that is the worst for me is the impulsiveness because the only effective treamtment so far is dexedrine for me and the idea of taking that for the rest of my life kind of sucks but everything is in "hyperspeed" for me and dexedrine makes me run at the speed of a mule...

Ok, I guess I'm the different one. I have never really been hyper. Not in the usual sense anyway. I'm the one that can't get motivated to do projects that really need to be done. Especially if I don't care for the task. I used to daydream in grade school all the time. I've been prone to depression, lack of energy and I've felt lack of self-worth. It's taken me many years to over come these obstacles but I'm doing ok right now. I still get hit sometimes with the self-defeatist feelings but I guess because I have such a busy life I get past it easier. What I do find that is hyper about me is my thinking. Sometimes I just can't shut off my brain. I tend to hyper-focus and pick everything apart, myself in particular. I am also sensitive to background noise, especially difficult for me if I am trying to complete a difficult task. Right now I am going through this disappointment in myself that I couldn't finish college. The "have the brain" but didn't use it feelings. I do wonder how many others on this board have the other spectrum of ADD like I have, lack of energy at times etc. and lack of self confidence. This is what prevented me from furthering my education.
Thanks, Dee! You just saved me from a whole bunch of typing!! :D

I'm the same way, except I got my bachelor's degree in college. I choked majorly when I tried to get my master's, though. Got so burned out I almost had a nervous breakdown and it fried my confidence in my writing skills, even though they're really good. Took me a few years to recover from that.

What's frustrating in my case (and probably for most of you out there as well) is I've gone through quite a bit in my life so I know I'm resilient, but I don't give myself credit for it (neither does everyone else I know for that matter).

Hello, and glad your here.

Ok, I guess I'm the different one. I have never really been hyper. Not in the usual sense anyway. I'm the one that can't get motivated to do projects that really need to be done. Especially if I don't care for the task. I used to daydream in grade school all the time. I've been prone to depression, lack of energy and I've felt lack of self-worth. It's taken me many years to over come these obstacles but I'm doing ok right now. I still get hit sometimes with the self-defeatist feelings but I guess because I have such a busy life I get past it easier. What I do find that is hyper about me is my thinking. Sometimes I just can't shut off my brain. I tend to hyper-focus and pick everything apart, myself in particular. I am also sensitive to background noise, especially difficult for me if I am trying to complete a difficult task. Right now I am going through this disappointment in myself that I couldn't finish college. The "have the brain" but didn't use it feelings. I do wonder how many others on this board have the other spectrum of ADD like I have, lack of energy at times etc. and lack of self confidence. This is what prevented me from furthering my education. Although I do have to say that my brain does need the challenge and having two jobs seems to help, but when I am done and get home I crash. My life has definitely been interesting and I could go on and on but this is just and idea of where I am. Thanks for your post and please keep writing. Dee


Wow, exactly the same here, at present i am undiagnosed. Doctor said i was depressed and gave me prozac to see if it helps :mad:

I'm the inattentive type. I also have trouble getting motivated to do things (major procrastinator) and I'm tired all of the time. Now, its probably due to how I love staying up at night, its like I'm the only one alive. But when I was little I would get nothing out of going to sleep.
I also have the anxiety thing, insecurity, over-thinking thing too.
I was never really hyper, except when I find something I love doing or learning about. Then I have to know everything about it, like an obsession.
I can totally relate except for when I was a child I would sleep, but it was an event for anyone who had to sleep in the same room...ask my sister. I would toss and turn, grind my teeth...an overall treat to the person who had to share my room. Now that I think about it...my sister was awfully moody in the morning and I was probably the reason why.

I may have been a bit hyper as a child because I remember always hearing my mother say "why can't you just sit still?" I was always outside doing physical things as a kid like gymastics, playing football with the guys, riding bikes etc.

As an adult, I am not hyper except for when something excites me...then I move mountains...until I get bored of course. I procrastinate constantly and am completely disorganized. I am also a pro at tuning people out...if I am hyper focusing on something the rest of the world can be under attack and I would be the last find out. I hate it when I drift out of a conversation because when I come back in I have cover up the fact that I wasn't listening. It is sooo annoying...for me that is...the other person isn't really aware because I am a pro at covering it up...except for my boyfriend...he calls me on it all the time. He jokes and hums a tune reminding me that I am having an ADD moment.

Wow, exactly the same here, at present i am undiagnosed. Doctor said i was depressed and gave me prozac to see if it helps :mad:I went through that about 5 years ago before I knew my problem was ADD. I was prescribed Paxil. Yes, I was depressed, but it was due to not being able to focus and get organized. I used to beat myself up emotionally (I still do sometimes) for not being able to function like everyone else. I had already gone through 5 years of therapy and dealt with all my other issues, but it was this disorganization thing that I couldn't get a grip on. I think my ADD slipped by my therapist because I am not hyper. The Paxil helped curb the depression, but it didn't help me get focused.

You should find a way to get tested because it looks like you don't agree with your doctor. Don't put it off like I did...I basically found out about 3 years ago that my life long problem was probably ADD, but I didn't do anything about it until now...just last week. I am now on the proper medication and beating myself up for not doing it 3 years earlier.

If you have health benefits they might cover a percentage of the cost to get tested. This is just some friendly advice from someone who is currently beating herself up for not taking action earlier...3 years is a lot of time to waste. Hey...I wish you luck in getting to the heart of the matter.

Thanks, Dee! You just saved me from a whole bunch of typing!! :D

I'm the same way, except I got my bachelor's degree in college. I choked majorly when I tried to get my master's, though. Got so burned out I almost had a nervous breakdown and it fried my confidence in my writing skills, even though they're really good. Took me a few years to recover from that.

What's frustrating in my case (and probably for most of you out there as well) is I've gone through quite a bit in my life so I know I'm resilient, but I don't give myself credit for it (neither does everyone else I know for that matter).

Dee's post fits me to a "T" as well. Ditto on the thank you.

Crackerjack, I can relate to burning out to the brink of a nervous breakdown. I was always in sales and don't have a bachelor's degree, so I had to rely on my wits and intelligence to get me to the next level. I went from inside sales to outside sales and then to sales management...that is where I almost had a nervous breakdown. I chose a company that was strict with deadlines and details...a very toxic combination for me and it lead to complete disaster. I burned out. Lost my job, lost my confidense, lost my drive and it took me a few years to recover from the ordeal. I am recovered now and have a wonderful job...I work from home so I don't have to worry about getting out the door at 7:00 every morning. I develop clients and manage projects...a lot of fun and I am never doing the same thing twice.

I went through that about 5 years ago before I knew my problem was ADD. I was prescribed Paxil. Yes, I was depressed, but it was due to not being able to focus and get organized


Exactly :) There is a few things that make me doubt i have it though.

1.Disorganised, maybe because i have nothing to organise lol.
2.Child hood, in high school i couldnt get the coursework done and got average grades, i know i could get all A's though if i could just focus properly. However, I dont seem to remember there being a problem below the age of 10 though. Only thing that stand out is that I was an extremely obedient child. Ill have to talk to my parents.

dx only three weeks ago. more Inattentive, but maybe just a bit of the Hyper...lived all of my 36 years thinking I was just lazy, a procrastinator who had no discipline and no respect for others. extremely disorganized, stuff everywhere, piles of things, late paying bills, etc. classic 'underachiever' in school...tested off the charts (top 1% nationwide) but barely graduated high school. NEVER did any homework. then, didn't even make it into the second month of college.

I've always wondered why I'd get 110% into something and then two weeks later be totally bored with it..."hyperfocus" was a word I'd never heard. I reached a point where I stopped even trying to start anything new, as I knew I'd lose interest and not finish it.

starting on meds has been amazing for me. my slightly OCD wife is freaking out as now all of the sudden I'm neater than she is, after being pretty messy forever.

been lucky in most of my jobs have been personality driven. my charm could usually make up for my lack of attention to detail. however, when I look back, I can find lots of instances where my ADD caused me to quit a job or take a different path.

frustrating that I didn't figure this out about 20 years ago...:mad:

classic 'underachiever' in school...tested off the charts (top 1% nationwide) but barely graduated high school. NEVER did any homework. then, didn't even make it into the second month of college.

I've always wondered why I'd get 110% into something and then two weeks later be totally bored with it..."hyperfocus" was a word I'd never heard. I reached a point where I stopped even trying to start anything new, as I knew I'd lose interest and not finish it.


I'm identical. IQ of 130, which is suposedly top 5% yet my high school grade are at best average. I give things up before i start too, why start something i wont finish :(

Im the hyperactive, gets in trouble, problem with authroity, cant sit still constantly moving, bored out of my mind with everything. I can relate to the being question about drugs cuz one day in math class i was doin usual messin around i guess and the teacher, in front of the whole class, asked if i had been smoking marijuana. I thought it was kinda funny. o well

dx only three weeks ago. more Inattentive, but maybe just a bit of the Hyper...lived all of my 36 years thinking I was just lazy, a procrastinator who had no discipline and no respect for others. extremely disorganized, stuff everywhere, piles of things, late paying bills, etc. classic 'underachiever' in school...tested off the charts (top 1% nationwide) but barely graduated high school. NEVER did any homework. then, didn't even make it into the second month of college.

I've always wondered why I'd get 110% into something and then two weeks later be totally bored with it..."hyperfocus" was a word I'd never heard. I reached a point where I stopped even trying to start anything new, as I knew I'd lose interest and not finish it.

starting on meds has been amazing for me. my slightly OCD wife is freaking out as now all of the sudden I'm neater than she is, after being pretty messy forever.

been lucky in most of my jobs have been personality driven. my charm could usually make up for my lack of attention to detail. however, when I look back, I can find lots of instances where my ADD caused me to quit a job or take a different path.

frustrating that I didn't figure this out about 20 years ago...:mad:This sounds so familiar...and my boyfriend is slighty OCD and is freaking out because I am now on top of the details more than he is...heehee.

I have been pretty successful at my jobs except the one that I lost because it was like working for a fascist regime. You had to be in the door and on the phone by 8 am until 12, hour lunch, back on the phone till 5 and you couldn't leave before 6...company policy. My detoxing on the weekends consisted of sitting in a chair with a drool cup staring at the wall...just kidding.

It is frustrating finding out so many years late...can totally relate.

Second doctor still thinks its depression and said he cant diagnose ADD. I have to take antidepresants for a month and if it dont help ill be refereed to a psychologist.

Hi Danielb, I noticed in your profile that you are from the UK...hello from across the Atlantic! I am not familiar with how the health system over there works...do you need a referral from your doctor to go to a psychologist? Can you find one on your own and make an appointment?

The statement about being able to read when it interests you means you don't have ADD is not true. My nephew is ADHD combined type and he loves to read. He has a very high IQ as well. I would do some research and get some of the books that others here highly recommend and try to find out you can get tested without your doctor's approval. It may turn out that you don't have ADD, but it may help you get to the heart of the matter.

Or, at the very least, you will know after taking the antidepressants if need to get tested or not. Good luck to you...I hope you find out soon.

Im not sure how the system here works either. I found this, an adult in uk's struggle to get diagnosed. :(

http://beehive.thisislincolnshire.co.uk/default.asp?WCI=SiteHome&ID=12222&PageID=73506


Ill find a way round it :D

It might not be ADD, but i can't see how this is depression. All i want is to be able to concentrate and be able to work, i think there are jobs i can do and i always apply but oportunities are few and far between, and the longer im unemployed the harder it is. Self employment is my only other option, but i need to get some money from somewhere first:rolleyes:

In my case, my depression and anxiety have stemmed from my lack of organization, chronic procrastination, terrible time management, and my inability to finish what I start. I also phase out of conversations frequently and have to work really hard at covering it up so the person I am speaking with doesn't notice. Now that I am on Adderall my anxiety is gone...literally...diappeared the moment I started taking the medication. Tomorrow will be a week for me and I still have no anxiety...if that changes I will let you know.

So, you might want to ask yourself what is the root cause of your depression and anxiety. Is it coming from your inability to finish what you start so you therefore feel like you are just lazy or is it coming from something else? Do you generally feel good about yourself on the inside, but would feel much better if you could get a grasp on the focusing issues?

I have always felt a tremendous passion for life and see what life could be if I could just stay organized and focus enough to take it to the next level. For example, I have been in sales my whole life and have a tremendous ability to open doors to some incredible opportunities, but I fail miserably on the follow through. I am hoping that now that I am on medication I will be able to follow through and bring in much bigger clients than I have in the past. My lack of follow through has made me only focus on smaller clients because that is all my attention span could handle. I would land a small client and move onto the next...it was a quick process. I shyed away from the larger clients because I was afraid that the time involved to develop them would expose my short comings. In short, I feared failure.

Sorry for the ramble and I hope that what I am saying is helpful in some way. One more thing, I was very obedient as a child, but I do remember teachers calling me a daydreamer or telling me that I need to quit goofing off so I could get my work done. I would sit in class and get distracted quietly and daydream a lot...never was a behavior problem so to speak. Teachers would call on me when I wasn't paying attention (very embarrassing), but would ignore me when I was hyper focusing and knew the answer. I was one of those kids that would raise my hand and go "ooh ooh ooh call on me call on me" when I was paying attention. I could never just raise my hand quietly...it was either daydreaming and not paying attention or I know the answer call on me now because I don't have the patience to wait my turn.

Let me know how it works out for you.

Second doctor still thinks its depression and said he cant diagnose ADD. I have to take antidepresants for a month and if it dont help ill be refereed to a psychologist.see if your doc will let you try Wellbutrin (buproprion). it's technically an anti-depressant but works on some people's (mine!) ADD.

It might not be ADD, but i can't see how this is depression. All i want is to be able to concentrate and be able to work, i think there are jobs i can do and i always apply but oportunities are few and far between, and the longer im unemployed the harder it is. Self employment is my only other option, but i need to get some money from somewhere first:rolleyes:sounds familiar. I think I had some mild depression as a result of my ADD...and the frustrations therein. chicken or egg, right?

keep trying with the doc or try another if possible until you find someone who'll listen. good luck.

In my case, my depression and anxiety have stemmed from my lack of organization, chronic procrastination, terrible time management, and my inability to finish what I start. I also phase out of conversations frequently and have to work really hard at covering it up so the person I am speaking with doesn't notice. Now that I am on Adderall my anxiety is gone...literally...diappeared the moment I started taking the medication. Tomorrow will be a week for me and I still have no anxiety...if that changes I will let you know.

So, you might want to ask yourself what is the root cause of your depression and anxiety. Is it coming from your inability to finish what you start so you therefore feel like you are just lazy or is it coming from something else? Do you generally feel good about yourself on the inside, but would feel much better if you could get a grasp on the focusing issues?

I have always felt a tremendous passion for life and see what life could be if I could just stay organized and focus enough to take it to the next level. For example, I have been in sales my whole life and have a tremendous ability to open doors to some incredible opportunities, but I fail miserably on the follow through. I am hoping that now that I am on medication I will be able to follow through and bring in much bigger clients than I have in the past. My lack of follow through has made me only focus on smaller clients because that is all my attention span could handle. I would land a small client and move onto the next...it was a quick process. I shyed away from the larger clients because I was afraid that the time involved to develop them would expose my short comings. In short, I feared failure.

Sorry for the ramble and I hope that what I am saying is helpful in some way. One more thing, I was very obedient as a child, but I do remember teachers calling me a daydreamer or telling me that I need to quit goofing off so I could get my work done. I would sit in class and get distracted quietly and daydream a lot...never was a behavior problem so to speak. Teachers would call on me when I wasn't paying attention (very embarrassing), but would ignore me when I was hyper focusing and knew the answer. I was one of those kids that would raise my hand and go "ooh ooh ooh call on me call on me" when I was paying attention. I could never just raise my hand quietly...it was either daydreaming and not paying attention or I know the answer call on me now because I don't have the patience to wait my turn.

Let me know how it works out for you.I think we were separated at birth! sounds so familiar...I'm even in sales! and now I'm going to stop settling for a good job and find the great one. I no longer have the fear of failure, either. damn cool isn't it?

I think we were separated at birth! sounds so familiar...I'm even in sales! and now I'm going to stop settling for a good job and find the great one. I no longer have the fear of failure, either. damn cool isn't it?Hello there twin, it is damn cool! I wish you the best of luck in finding the great one. I just came back from a great meeting today with a developing client and I am really excited and I look forward to bringing this big fish home.

Before the medication I could always see the big picture with a potential client and now I am looking forward to making it a reality.

Keep me posted on how you make out.

I'm combined.

I can't sit still for 30 seconds without bouncing my legs or flexing my hands, or something. I completely relate to the people who say that sitting perfectly still is painful. I'm really impulsive ( mostly verbally). I work as an (overqualified) paraprofessional in a middle school EH program. I frequently find myself blurting out the answers when teachers ask the class questions, even though I know perfectly well that the pause between the question and any answer is a deliberate attempt by the teacher to use wait-time to get higher quality student responses. On the up side, I'm always right. I have the same spastic urge to respond pretty much any time I hear anyone, anywhere ask a question, although I'm getting better at restraining myself. Usually.

My biggest work-day challenge, ironically enough, is working with a boy with ADHD with a capital H. It's seriously hysterical. I'm trying to stay focused to help him with whatever he's doing and he's talking at 500 words a minute, losing his train of thought before he even says anything comprehensible, and literally vibrating with barely-contained energy. Amazingly, we do okay. Really nice kid. But I digress...

Back to me - I don't tend to have the gross-motor hyperactivity, although it sometimes pops out and surprises me. The other day, for example, I started doing pull-ups on the doorframe in my classroom before it occurred to me that that might not be appropriate. Fortunately, the only kid tall enough to imitate me was absent.

Socially I'm clueless. I zone out in conversations, miss cues, laugh at the wrong time, say the wrong thing, and so on. Small-talk is a total mystery. I've always had friends, but I've never really felt like I was exactly a part of the world around me. I've been more or less alone in a crowd my whole life, actually.

I kind of quit dating a few years ago because I just couldn't seem to make it work. I tend to be really fun and charming and so on at the start of a relationship, but I gradually just deflate over time. I think it's probably best described as hyperfocus followed by exaustion. I have yet to meet a woman who was comfortable with instantly becoming the center of my universe, and then seeing my hyperfocused state wear off. I can't say I find that surprising or unreasonable, but it still stings. Anyway, I'm tired of the whole scenario so I'm trying to focus on other things, like the wreckage of various other aspects of my life.

I could actually deal with all of that crap well enough, but then there's the rest of the ADHD baggage. I've always been the introverted type, and I tend to randomly hyperfocus on individual activities. Sometimes they're useful activities and it all works out for me, but much more often they're entirely useless - books, movies, and video games mostly. When I try to "buckle down" and really focus on something that I'd rather not do (due to anxiety, boredom, etc) my mind just turns into this overwhelming gray fog. I swear I can actually see it. My body, meanwhile, cranks up the painful-to-sit-still thing and I find myself pretty much ejected from my chair. It's fairly depressing that something an inane as a checkbook that needs balancing can pretty much kick my ***. The overall result is that I rarely manage to complete or follow through on anything, with the usual ramifications to my carreer and social life.

On a more positive note, I was diagnosed with ADHD a bit ago and I started adderall a couple of weeks back. I can't quite decide if it's helping much, but the dose is still pretty low (15 mg). Anyway, for the first time in my 33 years I actually have some frame of reference to help me understand just what the hell has been wrong with my brain for my entire life, and some reason for a bit of optimism and even (do I dare say it???) hope. That alone helps a little with the gray fog. Who knows, this might just work out in the end.

Hello, and glad your here.

Ok, I guess I'm the different one. I have never really been hyper. Not in the usual sense anyway. I'm the one that can't get motivated to do projects that really need to be done. Especially if I don't care for the task. I used to daydream in grade school all the time. I've been prone to depression, lack of energy and I've felt lack of self-worth. It's taken me many years to over come these obstacles but I'm doing ok right now. I still get hit sometimes with the self-defeatist feelings but I guess because I have such a busy life I get past it easier. What I do find that is hyper about me is my thinking. Sometimes I just can't shut off my brain. I tend to hyper-focus and pick everything apart, myself in particular. I am also sensitive to background noise, especially difficult for me if I am trying to complete a difficult task. Right now I am going through this disappointment in myself that I couldn't finish college. The "have the brain" but didn't use it feelings. I do wonder how many others on this board have the other spectrum of ADD like I have, lack of energy at times etc. and lack of self confidence. This is what prevented me from furthering my education. Although I do have to say that my brain does need the challenge and having two jobs seems to help, but when I am done and get home I crash. My life has definitely been interesting and I could go on and on but this is just and idea of where I am. Thanks for your post and please keep writing. Dee
Yep, I can relate to this Dee. I did finish school but it was hard - college was the best 9 years of my life as Belushi said. Failed classes over and over from not doing assignments. I remember as freshman when my Anthropology teacher assigned 5 books to read to pass the class I thought she was insane. I mean if I'm lucky I can finish an average book in a couple of months by maybe getting thru a chapter without having to reread every sentence over and over. Funny in school they called this slow comprehension - but I found its the ADD that makes the comprehension slow cause the mind is off on some other train of thought.

Geez, I wonder how much different my life would have been if I could have been treated for this 30 years ago. That lack of self-confidence you speak of is huge. So much so that I have put off having kids because I feared it. But now on meds I feel confident that I could cope with that.

Regards
Gene

I can totally relate. I was always put down by my mom and dad (and still am) for how slow I am when completeing a task. It's like I have to focus so much energy on doing mundane of specific tasks that if I don't immidiatly forget what I"m supposed to be doing I go really slow. I daydream all the time and my mind is always working. But I"m always very tired, no matter how much sleep I get.
Same with me. I was always tired regardless of the amount of sleep. I could always let myslef take a nap if allowed to. Just being on Concerta a few days now seems to help with that. I feel more active - less tired. My psych wants me to do a sleep study thing. The idiots at the center can't get their act together to get me an appointment.

I'm the inattentive type. I also have trouble getting motivated to do things (major procrastinator) and I'm tired all of the time. Now, its probably due to how I love staying up at night, its like I'm the only one alive. But when I was little I would get nothing out of going to sleep.
I also have the anxiety thing, insecurity, over-thinking thing too.
I was never really hyper, except when I find something I love doing or learning about. Then I have to know everything about it, like an obsession.
Holy sh*t... that's me to a T Moon. Loved staying up - maybe cause there are less distractions at 2 AM??? Don't know. But never hyper... only had the obsession thing where hyper-focus made me fixate on certain things.