Hello everyone, am a newbie here. I have read a lot of entries and have gathered great info. I have been just diagnosed with BP-ADD, something that
has been very apparent in the past few years. Been in treatment for addiction
to painkillers (they allowed me to focus adn function). With my brain being clear
I tried SSRI's -- useless. I could not figure out why some weeks I was full of
energy, on top of the world -- others unable to get out of bed, in the darkest of
places. Troubles with jobs, relationships, helping raise daughters. Totally inconsistent. After my own personal worst depression in Feb, talk about wanting
to die everyday for a week, I went to a great pdoc.She really listened which was a first. My cocktail is Lamictal/Neurontin/Adderall. Been on these for 17 days, I know I will not be to a normal range of Lamictal until 100 mgs. I feel
balanced, the mania has disappeared. I wonder if I will ever be able to live a
healthy/happy life, being productive and contribute to society, my daughters,
marriage, life in general --- is that at all possible?? I have felt like such a burden, a charity case, like life has passed me by in my 33 years on this earth.
Thanks for reading...

Lori

Welcome to the forums...so glad you're here :)

I more than understand how you feel and let me assure you that YES!!!, you CAN and you WILL lead a productive life as you long as you seek it for yourself. Understand that it will take time. The average recovery after a bipolar episode is two years...some longer, some shorter, so don't beat yourself up if it doesn't happen over night but with time, hard work, and patience you WILL get there. Go with the flow. Accept the process and seek treatment. Time IS precious, therapy is key to help you through this time.

Don't think of yourself as a charity case; understand that these things have been beyond your control. If you had the ability and awareness beforehand I'm sure things would not have gone this far. Think of yourself as a work in progress. Someday soon you will emerge from your cocoon as a healthy, happy, productive person that has a better understanding of who you are and what you wish to achieve in life. Hang in there and don't forget that whenever you need to talk...we are always here :)

Lori..thank you for the courage to share with us. It is so great to have you here.

That said...what the hell is "normal" and would you honestly choose that for yourself anyway? I can understand the desire to 'fit in', to 'be a good mother', 'to make responsible decisions', and all that goes with it. I hope that in this forum, you will find a place where you can learn more about yourself and gain a lot of knowledge and support.

A good mother is one who loves thier children - and it sounds to me like they are well loved because of your desire to do as society says and "get your act together".

Your amazing...your working on it and you can do it!! I look forward to knowing you...

Bekkii

It certainly is !! (0:
There are many, many humans who are leading productive, happy lives who have ADD/HD/Bipolar.
Effective therapy/counseling is really crucial and sticking with it does help immensely, in my opinion.

Learning as much as one can about both ADD/HD and Bipolar-Dis is so important to understanding, also, if one has both, in my opinion.

I've made peace with myself in knowing that those who are in my life, who have been in my life and will always be, understand how my 'distractions/moods' don't have anything to do with my core self.

Whether they be the best of friends or family members (I have two sisters)- they understand who I am, and that it is interdependent of my 'distractions/moods'.


Nova

thank you all for your replies...it means a lot to have support from others who understand. It such a relief to FINALLY know what is wrong and why I have never really been able to be consistent in most areas of life. I like how Andi put it thinking of myself as a 'work in progress' -- that gives me hope. I love these forums, they are so helpful!! I am looking forward to getting to know all of you as well!!

i guess i can't exactly relate because the only way i have ever been manic (and it was extreme) is if it is antidepressant induced... i have a sec. axis I dx of bipolar nos but i have never exhibited any signs of even mild mania until i unsuccessfully took an anti depressant and im sure that is the case with those people who do have it naturally