I hate the school system, my daughter had a rough year in pre-school which prompted the school officials to consider her for special ed, which she was approved for, they told me this would PROTECT her from suspension. She just got suspended for scratching her teacher!!! Grrrrrr, I understand that you cant scratch but why twell me she woudl be protected when they turn around and do the same thing to her??? PUBLIC SCHOOL IS NOT WHAT ITS CRACKED UP TO BE!!!!!

I hate schools.... :( :( :(

I'm sorry if this comes across as harsh. I think scratching a teacher is a major offense, special ed student or not. You have to set an example for children, or they won't learn what's right from wrong.

Scratching a teacher may be a major offense but so is suspendind a student who is supposedly proected under laws mental illness or not! Examples have been set for this child in every way possible! Mental illness knows no example................

My daughter is in 10th grade and she has what is concidered a ovoidance behavior when confronted with either a stressfull thing or something that she fears.
My daughter fears her classmates for they tease her,
(Oh My daughter has ADD and Anxiety)
So consiquently she will not go to some classes and either go to the library or to the ready room. Well her punishment for leaving classes is suspension. And you can't believe how relieved she is to not be in school. (I work so she is left alone at home).
I ask you, where is the logic in this??

Kepping I just wanted to let you know your daughter is not alone and neither are you...Right now we are going thru the same thing with our 10 year old son. He is in the fourth grade and does eighth grade work. Which was never a problem until the school consolidated. Now unfortunatly he has a bully who not only mentally abuses him but physically abuses my son and when we raised him that physical violence does not solve problems we forgot to mention that it IS however all right to defend yourself. We have discussed this with everyone from his teacher to the school board and they still do nothing. Now he is begging for homeschooling which we have no idea how to go about and I hate to give him the lesson to run but his self esteem is gone i'm afraid. so hugs to you and your daughter

:soapbox:
I don't have ADD, or know anyone with it. However, I have Asperger's Syndrome and have had been through the Special Ed system myself. I know how frustrating it is, when they can be so hypocritical. Like with suspending your child after they said they wouldn't, while other students who are "normal" get away with everything.

From my experience all they do is confuse the students in Special Ed by saying they'll do one thing, then don't do it. Then make the student paranoid by threatening them with punishments for doing something they may or may not be able to help. Or for not completing a task which is difficult for them.

*steps off* :soapbox:

My daughter is in 10th grade and she has what is concidered a ovoidance behavior when confronted with either a stressfull thing or something that she fears.
My daughter fears her classmates for they tease her,
(Oh My daughter has ADD and Anxiety)
So consiquently she will not go to some classes and either go to the library or to the ready room. Well her punishment for leaving classes is suspension. And you can't believe how relieved she is to not be in school. (I work so she is left alone at home).
I ask you, where is the logic in this??
OMG I so know what that's like! :mad: They did that with me too, I don't have ADD but I have Asperger's Syndrome and have anxiety issues. I also was put in SPED so I do know what goes on there and how wrong it is.

It's interesting in this day and age when we have Columbine having happened, and teachers still don't get what caused it. Anxiety + constant exposure to perceived threat = paranoia.

She's punished for leaving classes. What about the sadists who make fun of her, where is their punishment. I seriously belive that the way some students can emotionally abuse others, is close to the kind of psychological abuse that murderers use on their victims. I mean, unless the school is fine with those bullies being leashed upon the world to be jr. Mansons and Dahmers, I don't see their point in not punishing them harshly for their abusive behaviour.

It got so bad for me, I became a Goth to scare the other students away from me. I also watched a good deal of horror films and learned how to act like a "psycho" to further keep the other students at bay. I wasn't surprised when Columbine happened, given what your daughter's gone through, I think you'd agree it was only a matter of time.

Kepping I just wanted to let you know your daughter is not alone and neither are you...Right now we are going thru the same thing with our 10 year old son. He is in the fourth grade and does eighth grade work. Which was never a problem until the school consolidated. Now unfortunatly he has a bully who not only mentally abuses him but physically abuses my son and when we raised him that physical violence does not solve problems we forgot to mention that it IS however all right to defend yourself. We have discussed this with everyone from his teacher to the school board and they still do nothing. Now he is begging for homeschooling which we have no idea how to go about and I hate to give him the lesson to run but his self esteem is gone i'm afraid. so hugs to you and your daughter
If my son was being repeatedly physically abused by another student and the school was not intervening, I would call the police and press assault charges. Seriously.

I almost pressed charges against a neighborhood boy who hit one of my children with a bicycle chain...but they moved away a week later!

Sometimes you have to do something drastic to bring about change.

Excellent reply Melanie!


There are special guidelines for handling discipline issues with kids with IEP's. And yes, special ed students can be suspended. But the procedure is complex. A disability does not 100% exempt Special Ed students from suspension.

USand3girls:

I am going to be as gentle as possible here. This is a complex issue and every parent wants the best for their children. I am sure you are horrified your daughter scratched the teacher. I know I felt like a bad parent when my kids did inappropriate things. This is not the case. You are a caring, loving parent who wants the best for her girls. I am sure your daughter did not intentionally scratch the teacher, but did it out of extreme frustration. What I am going to share may not be easy to take, but as a parent of a daughter is ADD and school difficulties and my last two years as a teacher, I want to give you both sides of this picture.

Please put yourself in the teacher's shoes. If you showed up at your job everyday and knew you could be scratched or otherwise physically harmed, threatened to be killed or hit, sexually harrassed, and so on, would you want to go to work? As teachers we have the same right as everyone else to a safe work environment. And yes we understand and are trained to work with special ed students. Several students were suspended for infractions like insubordination and calling me a F$%^ *****, threatening me if I did not take back a referral, and assaulting a kid in class (this one was sped.)

I left this postion after having my life threatened, a student threated to hit me in my face, and I was sexually harrassed and the principal thought I was overreacting. Nothing, and I mean nothing was done. I ended up with Panic attacks and a relapse of my PTSD.

Also consider that the other kids know this is a suspension offense. My students know the rules and when they commit certain infractions the whole class shouts out- "detention."

As teachers, our top priority is to ensure student safety above all else. No one feels safe if a student can hurt the teacher.

At my next school, one student was suspended and not allowed back in my class for sexually harrassing me, it really made me feel safe. Another was suspended for calling me a ***** along with disrespect and insupordination, all over using her cell phone in class.

I understand your frustration with the school system. I have been on both sides of the fence and offer this reply from both perspectives. I America there is a zero tolerance for harming others. As a teacher I have many frustrations with the school system and I can be a real maverick and crusader when it comes injustices in the school system and the way so many students fall through the cracks. Heck, I have ADD and fell through the cracks and they would not test my daughter because her grades were too high. I did not know my rights back then.

Please, please understand that a disability does not make OK to hurt another person. What if someone had scratched your child, say, a teacher? I would lose my job for that. If there were no consequences it would teach your daughter that this type of reaction is OK. In fact a teacher scratched my 2nd grade sister till her head bled. Back in the 60's there were no consequences.

My middle child was a wild ride to raise-I cried myself to sleep many nights thinking she would end up in prison or do something stupid that could be fatal. She would hit and kick me and things-but always got consequences. God, it was hard. I hauled her hinney to the police department when she forged a friend's name on a babysitting check. Hated dad and I for days, but is thankful for it now. Our relationship is pretty good now-but has its ups and downs.

I know how hard this can be-my daughter got detention for playing a hand-clap game and playfully slapping her friend. I was a bit :rolleyes: upset, but now understand since becoming a teacher. I did get angry for the head down on a desk detention when she was suicidally depressed. It was not enforced. And I withdrew her from school when they did nothing to help her or even inform her teachers. At the very least she should had a 504 plan put in place.

Believe you me, I have seen injustices and will stand against them, but I have to feel safe in my job.

A book I wish I had when Child #2 was at home: Parenting with Love and Logic. I highly recommend it. It can make parenting enjoyable even with a difficult child.

Hy heart goes out to you, I hope things are going well since your original post. This is a tough situation and I can honestly say: been there, dealt with that.

I must amen what Melanie said, Call the police and report! Consider getting a lawyer. Also, check out the school code for your state-on the state board of education site. You can find out what the state law is for this type of behavior.

If things get worse, you could consider a restraining order. There should be zero tolerance in your school.

Right now you may have to transport your son to school. I would make it very clear to the administration that you will not tolerate this anymore and will take law enforcement or legal action if they do not do their job.

My best to you.

yes call police an lawer get them done an portect your son hes wouth more than that no one should treat anyone like that i wish you all the best dorm