Hello, man I am so stressed..I have so much to say

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about how horrible I feel..but I feel like a crybaby because I'm always complaining..well first of all I'm 22 and for the past 5 years lived with my boyfriend that has Tourette Syndrome..it's hard because I have had bdd since I was a teen and bad ocd which makes us both unable to work..Lately, I just feel disgusting. I have always worried about my skin and I constantly go to doctors for advice...I am afraid of getting spots and freckling which I have quite a few but not all over (not natural red head)...but it's irritating because my boyfriend's tourette tics are getting horrible he tics "ugly, fat ***, ugly skin, w*ore all the time. I know he cant help but in the back of my mind..it sticks...and I try cover my freckles with concealer but its so noticeable..my mom will criticize me and tell me that im not blending my make-up in right, that my hair is too long..and lately I've been breaking out with acne..the doctor said its mild but she said that my pores are different from most people and that they clog up easily, she told me not to wear make-up..but I just feel naked without.it .I just hate myself its hard for me to write this because my ocd thinks if I write about my skin that bad things will happen to it. also I never got braces so I have a horrible over-bite. I was too embarssed to get them when I was younger because I didnt want to get teased..but now Im embarassed to smile and my mom wont pay for my braces. I always try to pretend Im someone else but then I look in the mirror and its like I cant find anything that I like about myself. I have no boobs, a huge butt..plus I have eating problems..anorexic when I was 15..gone from 89 pounds to 116 5'5. I have no one I can relate to..everyone makes fun of me cause im obsessed with my skin and getting freckles and spots...anytime I see someone else with something like that I freak out and getting paranoid I'll get them. I even analyze my bf's skin and everyone else. I really feel alone I have posted about this all over the internet and I have gotten no responses and even negative inputs about it..someone told me to join a church lol as if that will cure me of my problems. Plus I have ocs (bf has touretts) and my earliest fear is still now a big fear and that is getting older and dying. Afraid of being around old people, afraid time is flying by too fast, afraid at people's b-days, afraid what happens after death...afraid I have bad karma very superstitous...afraid people think im ugly or talk bad about me...afraid to be alone around men I dont know....afraid of certain foods, afraid of touching certain people, afraid of failure and being embarassed...aka Im pretty much afraid of everything..if anyone wants to talk send e-mail

Well, I have ADHD, and anxiety. I have ocd tendencies, so you have my sympathy there...

From what you are saying it sounds like your disorder is interracting with your boyfriends disorder. I have a similar situation with my S.O. in that she has PTSD/DID/MPD and when she withdraws it send me into a tailspin and I feel hurt, and then *I* withdraw, and it makes the whole situation worse.... The only thing that has worked for us in that situation is patience and understanding. Overcoming disorder is not about being right or wrong, and it is not about winning the argument. Disorder needs love and understanding.

My advice to you is to seek therapy for the OCD. It sounds like you are developing multiple obsessions and it is causing you some harm. My guess is that some of your bf's touretts symptoms are interacting with your anxiety. And I'd imagine that he senses your anxiety and it exacerbates his TS sometimes.... so you both need to acknowledge it and find a way to work around it. Incurable disorders are incurable.. period, so there is no magic bullet... but symptoms are frequently treatable, and sometimes the right therapy can be so helpful. Use your imagination and your humor in finding workarounds when your disorder collides with your boyfriends disorder.....above all else, communicate with each other.

(((*hugs*)))

Me :D

im not too familiar with the ocd but ocpd (the personality disorder) can be bad and it seems to focus mainly on rules, laws, regulations etc. it has passive-aggressive quality... the compelling need to follow them when you subconsciously hate them, and the desire for nothing less than perfection... im a clean freak and a control freak yet i am dependent on authority... i will memorize every state and federal law for anything and am generally restricted emotionally... i tend to not exactly "stuff" them but counter them somehow and it is all pretty obsessive in nature and it sucks because i have to "deprogram" somehow and establish some sort of non-fundamentalism and grow up because i see 3 people as "authority" and they have conflicting rules with each other and i am developing "anger" over their lack of adherence to them and patronizing the heck out of them... and what I actually want for myself is totally different than what any of them want... im a 25 y/o workaholic who follows the doctors and Mommy's orders (my mom is a shrink too who is in denial of her own ocpd)

I know you posted this a LONG time ago... but If you still need someone to talk to..... I could possibly help. I do not have BDD.... but many other things. My cousin (27) suffers severely from BDD. A lot of your symptoms and problems are VERY similar to hers. I have been trying to help her deal with these issues for awhile... and sometimes I can't help her. I just wanted to let you know that I know what you are going through and would be willing to talk if you would like. I'm new to this board, but if you would like u can reply back. Best of luck to you and hope your doing well.