I was born in Gloucester, UK. It was sort of difficult but i dont remember, obviously!! Anyway we moved 2 Hereford in 1987 just in time 4 the hurricane which Micheal Fish (BBC Weatherman) said would never come. It took our roof right off!! My earliest memory is around 1987 when i remember looking at the old range in the kitchen. I remember thinking 'wow, its like a spaceship!!'.

I went 2 my first primary school when i was 5 and was always a handful. The techers didnt know what was wrong with me at all. They said i was just badly behaved. I have blocked most of this part of my life out 4 many reasons. The only things i let myself remember is when my brother (Aspergers Syndrome and poor eyesight) bumped into the headteacher. The headtecher used 2 hit me and make me stand every luncha nd breaktime against the wall by the store room. I turned around 2 see this happening and went over 2 stop the headtecher. He was going 2 hit my brother. I was not very tall and not very stong but i summoned all my strength, knowing what i would get, and kicked the headtecher in his leg. I told him several swearwords. He immediatly let my brother go and came after me. I just stood there and took the beating. He used 2 threaten me. I toldf my mum and she told my dad. He went and told him in no uncertain terms he would break his neck if he ever did that again.

The next day, i was kicked out of the school and my dad had been labled a 'violent troublemaker'. This is not the case. My parents fought 2 get me a new school and i got into another primary school. I was bullied by 6 older boys who never stoped. I stole from the school and rebeled against the inaction of the teachers. I was in pain. I was excluded when i 'lost it' and went on a 'rampage'. I beat 2 out of the 6 boys up when they were on their own. Amazingly even though they had been doing this 4 years 2 me they got away with it and i was thrown out. At 9 years old i suffered a nervous breakdown. 2 years passed before i was able 2 get into another primary school.

The school was located on the south side of Hereford which is the very rough side of our city (I live on the North Side in the countryside). I was treated well and got help 4 my problems in the form of productive teaching.

I went up 2 high school in 1997 where i was able 2 get a referal 2 a clinic in Birmingham. They diagnosed me with AD/HD and ODD at first and later (about 2 years) Aspergers Syndrome. I used 2 cut myself around year 10 of high school. After finishing high school (early-2002) i attempted suicide by taking a lot of sleeping pills. I was later told i may have the begginning signs of Rapid Cycling Manic Depression. I have had 1 doctor (Child Phyciatrist) say i wasnt, a specialist in Manic Depression who was also a child phyciatrist say i might be, but the symptoms would present later on more clearly, and a phyciatrist in the adult services (Mental Heath) say i was. This obviously added 2 my confusion!!

I was prescribed Ritalin aged 12, and it was later increased onto slow release Ritalin. I was also given Tegretol (Carbamazapine) which is used as a mood stabilizer. I am now taking the slow release version of this too.

Here i am today. 18 years old, nearly through my A-Level course at college, with a lot of responsiblity and work!! Since i was 6 years old i have worked with computers. I have been in St Johns Ambulance for 8 years. I am now doing even more volentary work, this time with Hereford Hospital Radio (NHS property so i get an NHS ID card!!). I am a presenter and also the Secretary. People do now understand me and accept me 4 who i am but i have never told anyone my whole life story like i have here. It has been harder than that but i know u r all pretty tired of hearing from me by now!!

Wow Adam! Thanks for sharing that with us! Sounds like you'll fit in with the rest of the group here quite well :)

Welcome to the ADD Forums! :D

Thank you. Thank u all.

Hey. Thanks for sharing!

Hello, Adam. Your story isn't too long. I feel sad the way you were treated as a child. However, it looks like things are looking up for you. Good luck. Ludger, Georgia, USA

We welcome you to the family! Sharing your story wasn't "too long"--we like to know about each others' experiences...helps us know we're not alone!

Welcome! Thank you for choosing to join us! :D

Well I already said hi elsewhere, but I'm glad to have you officially aboard BigDaddy... :D

U all r helping. Im glad i have found a place 2 share. Thanks.

Thank you for shareing Adam. I started kindergarden in 1952. It wasn't a couple days I found myself ban to the coatroom for I think, talking aloud, not paying attention, getting up and walking around durning storytime, music time or rest on the little throw rug we brought from home.( it was always things related to that, even now!!!) Another early memory of that year... I was so hyperfocused and stimulated on my turn to use the paint easal or that thing where they put on yours dads old shirt backward so as not to get too messy while using those watered down colored powder mixes which always fascinated me even to this day and a big brush to go wild on that big open space of paper (newsprint??) To get to the point here, I was again punished severily for a child... with abandament, banishment, feeling different, bad, noticed negativily, and whatever else??? and all I did was love what I was doing and so stimulated with the creative process which may have looked like manic hyper insanity, I was sent out into the long dark hall with hard wood floors and cold thick stucco walls or painted cement [ LOL see how I am! can't seem to stay focused]now what am i talking about?OH, sent out because I did not want to stop and as the teacher pulled me away I really threw a major tantrum I think now that that experience screwed up my present problem of trying to stick with and getting into negitive can't do this type self-talk... while I am trying to paint a beautiful picture or create any creative artsy type thing....I will stop here as I am going to try to write 56 years of life because I have to to heal. Some of what I may say might be a bit extreme because I am an extreme case of long-term chonic adhd and I live an interesting and extreme life by some standards yet I know there are many who much more extreme now either in prison or dead many of them but by the grace of god I have survived so far...
I had to start somewhere, so Adam thank you for a start..Peace, Rita

While sitting out in the garage smoking I began to retrive other memerories of that kindergarden year in toledo, ohio 1952. There was a time when I accidently crashed into the big wooden blocks that were arranged perfectly in a height taller than me...I got screamed at, accused of not paying attention, being clumsy, and ruining other students hard work of building that block thing. Again I was banished to the hall or coatroom...Another time was when I was enjoying playing with the little kitchen set-up and told it was not time to play with that and because I just went over and started playing durning some other class activity I could never play there again!
I don't like thinking about these things because they are so painful still I get that lump in my throat and start crying however this I think has been my problem of being unable to heal...
How I have dealt with it all these years varies. When I was under 10, I was always trying to kill myself by either putting a cord or my hands around my throat or beating my head on the floor screaming. As I got older, I added drinking draino once, smoking, running away, hanging with the bad boys and girls, then after 10 came the booze, drugs (ironically the stimutalant drug benzodraine which they were giving to minial damaged hyperkinetic kids at that time was my only drug of choice next alcohol. The drug did wonderous things for me and the first time in my life I enjoyed and could pay attention in school, get good grades and amaze people but then I would run out of the drug or the connections were out and I would return to my usual dull minded, sleeply/fatiaqued self or my major hyper running all over, high enery do my own thing self which was just as bad as being tired as far as focus went.

Hi Rita, Glad to have you with us.

Would you create your own Introduction Thread? (click the NEW THREAD button, below)

Thanks!

Thank you Andrew for your quick reply. I am now just looking over this site trying to find the correct place to put my ramblings that are seemingly comeing from no where except little triggers and my therapist and myself think I have to get to the core which I would avoid at any cost but now if I am to feel better and discontinue my still impulsive dangerous bad habits I will die. I am now looking at the journaling page which might be a place too but I am also very interested in the fibro/chronic fatique/adhd connection because I have suffered with that for several years now. Thanks again for letting me share somewhere ....Rita

A lot of inappropriate stuff happens when there are too few adults for the number of children needing one.