I am still trying to figure out if I am ADD, bipolar, or possibly both. I am so confused as both conditions have so many of the same symptoms.

Ok, here's my story. I am now 30 years old. When I was very little, I would not pay attention,I would day dream excessively, tune out a lot, be extremely shy ( sometimes withdrawn), and I had a lot of trouble following directions. My mom would often have to hold my head up so I would listen to her. I would also flap my hands and rock back and forth. I would do impulsive stuff like run out into the street and other dangerous or stupid things without thinking. I could always focus on things that interest me ( to the point of being stuck) but for the most part, I was usually on the go. I would sometimes get up at in the middle of the night to rock on my rocking horse.

As far as depression and temper tantrums, I was pretty normal. Most of the time I was happy except for when I didn't get my way or told to do something I really don't want to do. Like pick up my toys, etc.

Things started getting REALLY bad when I was about 11 years old and entered the fifth grade. Before the fifth grade, even though I was shy, I didn't have too much trouble with my classmates or my teachers. For the most part, when I was little, I got along with the kids in my class and was eager to please my teachers. I seldom got scolded or disciplined.

I started puberty ( my menstrual cycle at age 11). Since then things start to really go down hill. I started to put on weight, get acne, bad hair,and got really self conscious. I also started growing breasts and would be teased about it. Actually I got teased and made fun of a lot for everything. I had a really strict teacher in the fifth grade and the kids in my class were really mean to me. I would get angry and upset over being made fun of, alienated, etc and act out. I would then get in trouble for disrupting the class. The kids provoking me never got into trouble. I was losing my temper a lot and nobody wanted to be my friend or would play with me at recess. In gym, we would play team sports. No matter how hard I tried to pay attention, I couldn't understand the rules and could not get coordinated.

I would get yelled at all the time.

I would come home from school every day upset and would just go into a rage. I would play sick to avoid going to school. The thought of going made me feel sick to my stomach and I couldn't eat any breakfast although at other times my appetite is good.

By age 13, things got worse. Things at home were dysfunctional, Mom would get drunk and become verbally abusive and tear up the house. I would get upset about things and my dad would verbally attack me and yell obscenities ( like mother ****er and g&d damn it)at me. One time he gave me a black eye. Another time he grabbed me by my hair and dragged me across the room.

They didn't like dealing with my emotions. They never disciplined me for my bad grades or the way I act at school. As long as they didn't have to put up with it, fine. They would always threaten me and never follow through.

Well, all in all I became very depressed. Growing up I had few or no friends, was overweight, felt ugly and stupid ( my brother was always putting me down, too and would call me fat ****, retard, slob several times a day). My feelings were so intense I attempted suicide and had to be hospitalized.

I also would feel really terrible when I did something stupid or I go into one of my tantrums. I have never been the type of person who goes out of their way to hurt others. I just have trouble controlling the way I feel and I get really overwhelmed and don't know how to deal with it constructively.

To this day I also have problems with negativity, following directions, starting something and following through, making decisions, concentration, and so on. I am very sensitive, can't tolerate noise, am very impulsive, inconsistent, have low self esteem, get distracted easily, am messy and disorganized, sloppy, impatient, and can't stand to wait. I also procastinate.. A LOT.

I told my doctor and he put me on Adderall a few weeks ago. It works great for about 8-10 hours but then it wears off. With the medication, I am calmer, more rational, more optimistic, can keep my house clean, get my thoughts together, and focus on just one thing at a time. Plus I am not scattering things everywhere and jumping from one project to the next.

I just wish the medication would last longer then 8 hours or so because I feel so much better. I see my doctor next month and am considering taking it twice a day instead of just once.

Sorry this is so long. Any input would be greatly appreciated!

You sound just like me. I was first diagnosed bi-polar II and put on all kinds of meds before I decided that the psychiatrist was the one that was crazy, not me. I just KNEW it was something else. It has taken a long time to find what it is. I'm not currently on meds because I'm nursing a baby but I do know that it's important not only to be on meds but to be seeing someone that can help you. My DH has a friend with ADD who seems to be doing great but he still sees a psychiatrist every 4 months to keep on track. I would suggest a support group too if you can find one in your area. It would be nice to meet others who feel the same as you and have gone through the same experiences.

Welcome to the forums, Jett! :)

You have gone through a lot.

It's nice to hear that you've got that good results with Adderall. :) Did you go through some kind of diagnosing process?

You know, when I look at the problems you describe you have it's like someone made a list of some often brought up issues at the ADD Forums!

This is what the clinical psychologist and ADD specialist Dr. Thomas E. Brown says on ADD and emotions:
[He describes different areas where people with ADHD are impaired.]Emotion: managing frustration and modulating emotions. Although DSM-IV does not recognize any symptoms related to the management of emotion as an aspect of ADHD, many with this disorder describe chronic difficulties managing frustration, anger, worry, disappointment, desire, and other emotions. They speak as though these emotions, when experienced, take over their thinking as a computer virus invades a computer, making it impossible for them give attention to anything else. They find it very difficult to get the emotion into perspective, to put it to the back of their mind, and to get on with what they need to do. Here's the link:http://www.drthomasebrown.com/brown_model/index.html

I'm glad you've found us! :)

Welcome, Jett! I'm new here, too. I got diagnosed with ADD a few months after being diagnosed with a "behavioral" illness. This was after years of therapy for depression. For a long time I tried to sort out which of the symptoms or life situations were ADD and which were the illness and which were from depression. It took years but the conclusion I've come to is that it doesn't make any difference: I'm ADD and I have these other conditions. I just have to deal with my life as it is, regardless of the "whys."

I am still trying to figure out if I am ADD, I am so confused as both conditions have so many of the same symptoms.

When I was very little, I would not pay attention,I would day dream excessively, tune out a lot, be extremely shy ( sometimes withdrawn), and I had a lot of trouble following directions. I could always focus on things that interest me.

Things started getting REALLY bad when I was about 11 years old and entered the fifth grade. Before the fifth grade, even though I was shy, I didn't have too much trouble with my classmates or my teachers. For the most part, when I was little, I got along with the kids in my class and was eager to please my teachers. I seldom got scolded or disciplined.

I started puberty ( my menstrual cycle at age 11). Since then things start to really go down hill. I started to put on weight, get acne, bad hair,and got really self conscious. I also started growing breasts and would be teased about it. Actually I got teased and made fun of a lot for everything. I would get angry and upset over being made fun of, alienated, etc. I would then get in trouble for disrupting the class. The kids provoking me never got into trouble. ...nobody wanted to be my friend or would play with me at recess. In gym, we would play team sports. No matter how hard I tried to pay attention, I couldn't understand the rules and could not get coordinated.

I would get yelled at all the time.

By age 13, things got worse. Things at home were dysfunctional.

Well, all in all I became very depressed. Growing up I had few or no friends, was overweight, felt ugly and stupid.

I also would feel really terrible when I did something stupid. I have never been the type of person who goes out of their way to hurt others. I just have trouble controlling the way I feel and I get really overwhelmed and don't know how to deal with it constructively.

To this day I also have problems with negativity, following directions, starting something and following through, making decisions, concentration, and so on. I am very sensitive, am very impulsive, inconsistent, have low self esteem, get distracted easily, am messy and disorganized, sloppy, impatient, and can't stand to wait. I also procastinate.. A LOT.


Jett, welcome!

So much of what you wrote is true of me, I edited your post.

The quote from "ClearConfusion" is so much "me", it's scary. I become consumed with whatever emotion is driving me at the moment, that I cannot detach from it and move on. I do understand that emotions are not facts, but sometimes my emotions are soo intense, I feel like I've got to figure it out before I can let it go. And of course, I can't always do that....

I'm glad you're here. It's good to know you're not alone, don't you think?

keep it simple your not dead or in jail in a support site your doing good and on the right track :)

Welcome to the Forums, Jett. You're in the right place.

There's a lot of info available here. Hunt around.

Check out the medications section.

Hi Jett, have you got any clarity on this - or still confusing?