When I'm messaging people I actuallly get a feeling from what they are saying and most of the time I am wrong dead wrong.
I've accidently started fights because I thought the person was either angry at me or too busy to talk to me. I'm getting too emotional in the messages. :(

This is a problem in forums too, because you can't get the visual and auditory clues you would normally get from body language and tone of voice, so you tend to infer things that don't belong...

I do this too, but I think it's not confined to ADD people. If anything I think we are BETTER at interpreting written speech the way it was meant.

It's not confined to this board, so I agree that it's not an ADD thing. Smilies and other emoticons developed because it was sometimes impossible to detect whether someone just had a really dry sense of humor or if they were really serious in what they're saying...

Like when someone says something in all seriousness and you look at them to see if they really meant it, only to see a sly smile slowly appear on their face...

To be honest I'm the opposite - I can't "read" people's body language and visual clues/tone of voice very well, so when I am on the net I tend to be EXTREMELY good at picking out the real meaning behind what someone says, and the real person behind those words, as I only have one thing that I need to focus on and don't get confused trying to suss out someone's body language etc. as well (just simple, easy to understand emoticons), and I don't get distracted by not knowing where to look etc.

I'm good at reading between the lines so to say, at least when I've got more than just a few lines to work with (otherwise I can be gullible and a bit naive/jump to conclusions).

I do however notice that some people "rub me the wrong way" because they say things that seem rude, but my guess is that those are the people who are used to using a LOT of body language in real life, so when they just have to rely on words they can't express themselves the way they are used to, and give away the wrong signals.

Even though I love having the ability to "talk" to my friends through instant messaging.............it is hard sometimes to really know what the person that you are talking to is feeling.

It is such a great way to communicate though :D
Gotta love that new technology!!!

I am extremely visual. I have a hard time knowing what a person really means, if she is serious or not ect. I really need to see someone, to know.
This is pretty much the first time i am in a forum, and i have a hard time, getting my point across in real life, and in writting it is even worst. But i dont want to give up, i know eventually it will start to get better.

As for you Keppig, a suggestion, if not sure, just send an email back, asking for more explaination.. I know that i have to do that cause i dont always understand. And i know it.

I have about the same experiences with IM that I do in person. Although I loath the netspeak type writing, the emotional cues in emoticons have been good in emails and IM conversations. It helps keep clear when I'm being teased and when the comments are in earnest.
Cheers! Ian :^)

During IM conversations I tend to use my speakers and mic I find it more personal and makes it easier for the person I'm talking to to know that I'm always teasing them, I'm hardly ever serious I have my bad days but most the time I think life is a joke. I've gone as far as to buy friends that I talk to on a daily basis a headset to make my life easier. Besides when someone types LMBO or LOL how do you really know unless you can hear them?

I tend to be too serious and overly sensitive in real life. So I sometimes have trouble communicating on the forum...but i keep at it and try not to take things so personally, otherwise it can really get me down. [and it has] I know i just have to let it go or maybe just try to separate it out and lighten up. Overall, I have to say that I have received so much support and kindness from all. And I am learning so much about myself...

I have re-read some of my posts and I find that I didn't mean to come across the way I did. This is a new language for me. And it takes time?

DB,

On those times you have felt "down" on the forums have you contacted the offender and asked if that is what they truly meant? I know sometimes I have to ask for clarification or ask their mood when they typed. I have been jumped in pm but for me it's better to know then to not know and make the mistake of posting something harsh back.

Hope my posts have never left you down.
Cherity

Cherity, thank you. I am the type to suffer in silence, because I always think that it is my responsibility to find my own strengths and contententment. So no---because I do understand the intrinsic nature of forums and it's somewhat distorted communication stream[for lack of a better way to define]

I just let it go. But to be honest, I am just reminded how I was an outcast in highschool and that hurts. I have come to learn that I felt this way not because I was one, no it was because I believed that i was; I did not really like me. This is why I am learning how to know what stuff is mine and what is not.

You have always been are a very kind and caring person, Cherity! and I am glad that I have met you... Do I make sense? :)

You make perfect sense. I have acted as mediator between two posters before and would be willing to do it for you. Just leave me a pm and the link and ask if your over reacting in reading the post. Most times we find that it's just us over reacting and having a second party explain to us what is actually being said makes all the difference. Now, am I making any sense.

yes and thank you!!!! Almost like a posting coach. A great idea.

how do I refer to a link? haven't quite figured that out.

I am very sensitive and I have a hard time with distinguishing the written text and how it was meant. The tone of voice is not there and it is hard to figure out unless you are on mic.

I take thing too literally, and it has been a problem since I can remember. It is good to know I am not alone. auntchris:p

I hate Instant Messaging for all the reasons everyone's stated. The are only 2 people I feel good about IMing with - mainly because we know each other so well that we can "read between the lines" with each other and communicate without a lot of explaining.

To Deeperblue -

To refer to a Topic link just copy and paste the link from the address bar -
example: http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2696


To refer to a specific post in a Topic, find the post using the "Find all posts by the User" function and copy and paste the link to your post.
example: http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=139418#post139418


or you can do somewhat the same thing by copying and pasting the post count # -
example: http://www.addforums.com/forums/showpost.php?p=139418&postcount=13

ty-chain ;)

yes and thank you!!!! Almost like a posting coach. A great idea.

how do I refer to a link? haven't quite figured that out.

What I do is when typing on a link that I want to save or send on to someone else I just "right click" the site address and copy it. Then I pull up my pms and "right click" and paste it and send the pm.

Sound's like I'm the exception.

For the past 4 years, nearly all my conversations have been over instant messaging. This is not a preference by any means, it just happens to be the medium which works out most favourably given the circumstances.

In real life I find it hard to visualise on the person I'm talking to, or keep up any form of sustained conversation longer than about 30 seconds. I get the general impression that I come across as uninterested or boring.

Both in real life and on the phone (old style or intenet) I also have real problems in distinguishing the persons voice from any background noise, and from extrapolating words from their speech. I can hear, I just can't listen.

There's also the problem that I've found it takes me longer to interpret, understand, and respond in conversations, which I guess doesn't help from a confidence standpoint.

Forums and email are also kinda problematic for me. I've never been too good at monologues. I'm always scared I'll go off on a tangent and bore/confuse people. Just like I am now.

But none of these thing's seem to be a problem with IM.

And there's the added advantage that I can view past IM conversations, giving me less to remember.

As this has been my virginial voyage into the land of forums, chat, and God knows...IM, I've definitely experienced some confusion. I love reading the messges on the forum, but I do find that sometimes our responses can be misinterpreted. Unless someone gets rude, it doesn't bother me really. We're all human. I know my buddy futs won't mind me saying that she and I totally missed each other on a post one time and all was solved by a pm and a deeper explanation and understanding.

As for the whole IM thing. I IM only 2 people on a regular basis...ever. Never did that before a short time ago. I hope this doesn't come out wrong (see what I mean), but I would only want to IM someone with whom I'd really like to be hanging out with in person if logistics didn't make it impossible.

As this has been my virginial voyage into the land of forums, chat, and God knows...IM, I've definitely experienced some confusion. I love reading the messges on the forum, but I do find that sometimes our responses can be misinterpreted. Unless someone gets rude, it doesn't bother me really. We're all human. I know my buddy futs won't mind me saying that she and I totally missed each other on a post one time and all was solved by a pm and a deeper explanation and understanding.

As for the whole IM thing. I IM only 2 people on a regular basis...ever. Never did that before a short time ago. I hope this doesn't come out wrong (see what I mean), but I would only want to IM someone with whom I'd really like to be hanging out with in person if logistics didn't make it impossible.
Well i am totally so dranitly offended by your post.. I will get the cyber police involve in this...it is a shame that they let people like you write such kind of post..

Digitl who aint really offended, just playing lol...:p

Digitl,

You know I would never offend you of all people;) !!!!!!!! I was just telling the truth....however, I think I posed a quote on that thread that you have to really stupid to actually do that and expect anyone to still like ya!!!!!!!

YOU rock, my funny friend. I can't help being selective about my IM activities. This is all new in my world. The two people I do im are two that I trust implicitly. Whether that comes back to bite me in the butt will likely determine whether I continue to do it at all!!!!!!!!

As this has been my virginial voyage into the land of forums, chat, and God knows...IM, I've definitely experienced some confusion. I love reading the messges on the forum, but I do find that sometimes our responses can be misinterpreted. Unless someone gets rude, it doesn't bother me really. We're all human. I know my buddy futs won't mind me saying that she and I totally missed each other on a post one time and all was solved by a pm and a deeper explanation and understanding.

As for the whole IM thing. I IM only 2 people on a regular basis...ever. Never did that before a short time ago. I hope this doesn't come out wrong (see what I mean), but I would only want to IM someone with whom I'd really like to be hanging out with in person if logistics didn't make it impossible.

*sniff, sniff*

from cherity who is really sad her dear friend doesn't IM her. :p

oh,oh, cherity....please don't *sniff, sniff*

I'll make sure that everyone IM's you today. In fact today will be the official IM Cherity Day. hehehehaaaa















but ya know lately my im box has become empty....waaaaaaaaaah

now look what i've gone and done......

everybody's boo-hooin' on me. but you know i love you to pieces, so if you need some tissue, i'll send it over.

I'll out smart you any day my dear DB just wait and see if I turn my im's on...hahaha got you all.