View Full Version : my stepdaughter is very depressed

04-07-06, 09:50 AM
Please help. This may be the wrong forum, but my stepdaughter is dealing with a lot of emotional issues and desperately needs a counselor. She is 21. Her sister is going off to college. Her mother is moving out of the country. She just had a major breakup with an longtime boyfriend. She lives with her dad mostly. She just started back on her ADD meds after meeting with her doc. She lost about 20 pounds after the breakup and is now skin and bones. The add meds are refocusing her and helping. And her doc also put her on Lexipro which is not helping much yet.

She gets so depressed, lonely and tired and just cries for hours. She needs someone desperaately.

Does anyone know of a good therapist in the San Antonio, San Marcos, Seguin area???? The right therapist can make all the difference and the wrong one can make no difference at all.

I think she has been depressed for a long time and has used shopping and boyfriend to medicate pain.

04-11-06, 01:08 AM
One thing you can do is call up or go to your medical insurance's website and ask them.

You can check out the Texas forum and see if any Docs/therapists have been recommended.

I completely agree with you, finding the right doc and therapist is essential.

05-24-06, 02:03 PM
I think you might try to help work through the broken heart part by talking to her about this process. I know that sometimes we can feel hurt and depressed and not know how deal with it. She may feel overwhelmed by these emotions right now.

Some practical things to do that can help with this are limiting a set amount of time each day to think about how sad she feels about this break up. By limiting the amount of time for sadness it can help "let go" of that sadness for a period to get out and experience her life the rest of the day. Otherwise she can carry this with her every second and never really get any distance from it at all.

Sometimes using something like a movie or some sad love songs to help her get in touch with this feeling can help her to work through this process. It doesn't help to block out these feelings, but it doesn't help either to obssess on them too all of the time. Moderation would be good. But, a good cry sometimes can help some to feel better again, for a while.

That idea of women renting romatic comedies and eating ice cream together when they feel lonely and depressed may have some usefulness. Now, you can talk to her yourself, or, you can also encourage her girlfriends to do the same thing. It might be hard for her to want to socialize with her friends but sometimse a little emcouragement might do the trick. Maybe some time with her friends to express her feelings and then some other activity after that might help her feel like her self again. The point is not to stay sad indefinitely. Watching a movie with her family or friends and then talking about her feelings might help her get it out of her system until tomorrow, when she limits that time again to acknowledge those feelings.

Also, in some situations we can have a choice between feeling hurt or feeling angry. Sometimes it is better to feel anger than hurt in order to get past something like a broken heart. Again, women getting together to make a ritual of ripping up photos of him and destroying the mememtos from that relationship can help to connect with the anger. Feeling hurt just makes her a victim, but feeling angry can help make her feel like she is not the victim but a survivor. Feeling anger is great, but acting out on that anger (besides ripping up photos) is not helpful though. Expressing her anger in an appropriate way is important. She has a mixed bag of emotions, not just hurt and sadness. But anger that is not expressed is depression in the end.

Have you tried asking the school for a recomendation of a counselor or therapist? A therapist might be great if she can work through the underlying problems that had her using the shopping and the boyfriend as a means of "self treatment." It may help you to realize that this might be a blessing in disguise if she has been depressed for sometime if this is getting her more attention and getting into therapy to deal with the bigger problems. Start with the school and ask around your area (neighbors, co-workers, friends, etc.) for some help in some type of recommendation.

Sometimes family members get closer because of emotional problems like this. Good things can come from this difficulty if you remain positive and hopeful.