My son makes mostly A's and sometimes B's. He makes great grades. The problems he does have is that he does get into trouble in the classroom. Not everyday but, at least onece or twice a week. He struggles with friends. Doesn't seem to have any except maybe one or two. His self esteem is not where it should be. We build him up and and encourage ALL of the time.
I received this email from his teacher right before Spring break. What do you think?


One thing that I think you should think about, or talk to someone about, is your son's problems staying attentive in class and following directions. We can be looking eye to eye at each other as I give him directions, and he has no clue what I have said. I feel like his mind is always racing with a million things, and what goes on in class is just one of the many things biding for his attention. I have always had attention problems, so I know how hard it can be to pay attention when so much is going on in your mind. I know that you have a lot of things going on right, and I was going to see if you could come in sometime and talk about this. If it's easier, we can just email back and forth. Is this something that you have notices at home too? I truly feel that he is a very bright young man, but I am afraid that he gets lost a lot of the time because he struggles to pay attention.

I can totally relate with with you---I have a child the same age with ADD. Some questions you need answered by the teacher are this......

1. How many kids are in his class? If it is like my son's there are 28 kids----would you want to teach 28 kids? The reality of it is.....if he is hyper in the classroom, he is being left behind. Read between the lines of the e-mail---I bet her next response will be "Have you thought about medicating him?"

2. all schools have an IEP program---its law. It is an individualized education plan. Make sure the school psychologist does an evaluation of your child. Why? Because is your child hyper in the classroom because the material is not challenging enough? Is he easily bored with mundane material? Or is it a social inadequacy that makes him act out? Then have your own assessment done by a child psychologists.

3. Ask what kind of training this teacher has with dealin with children with hyperactive disorders. Probably none. Her point is that he is such a distraction that she wants him medicated...but find out what behavior modification techniques she is employing to change his behavior. For example, my sons class had a card system. Green met you were ok not in trouble, yellow meant "caution" your about to get a red card....and the red card took away all extracuuricular activities for the day...meaning recess, gym, etc.......So what would happen is that my sons red card would be pulled by 9am every morning....so he got a "I dont give a damned" attitude....knowing that he had lost all his extracurricular activities for the day...there was no reason for him to behave---so he didnt. After speaking with the teacher and the principal...we came up with a contract for Noah by the hour. He could get a yellow card at 9am and be re-evaluated at 10am--if he was well behaved he went back to green--it worked wonders!!!

4. Ask what percentage of children in the school are currently on ADD medication. they know the numbers--they have to report it federally----the national average is 3-5%---if your school is above that...something is wrong.



Hope this helps!!!

She didn't mention add/adhd. She didn't mention evaluation or medication. She mentioned having issues personally with attention. IF she had said Your kid is adhd and needs meds, she would have be ripe for firing and a lawsuit.

She seems willing to work with you in how to best help your child and is concerned about some things she is witnessing in class. She is reaching out to the parent to ask if this is something they are seeing as well. No one wants to hear their child is struggling in school.

I'm a teacher, and I sure did when it was my kids. :) She's opening a dialogue. This is a good thing. Even if the child is diagnosed add/adhd, it doesn't automatically follow that meds would be the course of treatment. That's an individual choice.

Best of luck :)

I can totally relate with with you---I have a child the same age with ADD. Some questions you need answered by the teacher are this......

1. How many kids are in his class? If it is like my son's there are 28 kids----would you want to teach 28 kids? The reality of it is.....if he is hyper in the classroom, he is being left behind. Read between the lines of the e-mail---I bet her next response will be "Have you thought about medicating him?"

2. all schools have an IEP program---its law. It is an individualized education plan. Make sure the school psychologist does an evaluation of your child. Why? Because is your child hyper in the classroom because the material is not challenging enough? Is he easily bored with mundane material? Or is it a social inadequacy that makes him act out? Then have your own assessment done by a child psychologists.

3. Ask what kind of training this teacher has with dealin with children with hyperactive disorders. Probably none. Her point is that he is such a distraction that she wants him medicated...but find out what behavior modification techniques she is employing to change his behavior. For example, my sons class had a card system. Green met you were ok not in trouble, yellow meant "caution" your about to get a red card....and the red card took away all extracuuricular activities for the day...meaning recess, gym, etc.......So what would happen is that my sons red card would be pulled by 9am every morning....so he got a "I dont give a damned" attitude....knowing that he had lost all his extracurricular activities for the day...there was no reason for him to behave---so he didnt. After speaking with the teacher and the principal...we came up with a contract for Noah by the hour. He could get a yellow card at 9am and be re-evaluated at 10am--if he was well behaved he went back to green--it worked wonders!!!

4. Ask what percentage of children in the school are currently on ADD medication. they know the numbers--they have to report it federally----the national average is 3-5%---if your school is above that...something is wrong.


Hope this helps!!!

1) The assumption that the goal is to medicate is quite judgmental. Part of being a good teacher is giving good feedback to parents.

2) Totally agree on an assessment. Find out what the problem is, and then determine if it will be a long term problem.

3) Again, incredibly judgmental. How can anyone determine what the teacher was thinking?

4) Something is wrong if it is above the national average of 3-5%? Says who? I'm a Special Ed teacher and I would say that the percentage of kids with ADHD in our school may be double that average but that's because we are doing a good job. We screen better then other schools and word of mouth brings more ADHD kids into our school. There could be a multitude of reasons why the average would be above or below any yardstick, for any given school.


As a teacher let me give you this advice. All teachers are not perfect so they will not always do things in a perfect manner. I would have given that information in a face to face interview. But you have to ask yourself, are they there doing a good job with your child?..if they are, well then cut them a little slack.

4. Ask what percentage of children in the school are currently on ADD medication. they know the numbers--they have to report it federally----the national average is 3-5%---if your school is above that...something is wrong.:confused:

How can that be true? Schools don't even have the right to KNOW which kids are taking medication, much less are they required to report such things.

IMO, if a school is reporting that 5-7% of their kids have attention disorders, they're something very RIGHT about the ability of the faculty and staff to notice and care about such things. THAT is the estimate of the numbers of school-aged children with the disorder.

The teacher sounds terrific to me. She/he sounds truly concerned about a child under her/his care.

The child also sounds a lot like my ADD second grader. Very few close friends, even though his social skills are fine. He's highly intelligent, but can't get through the work without medication.

Because of my son's teacher, he's been evaluated quite thoroughly by the school psychologist, the special education specialist, and the adaptive P.E. coach. The identification of ADD, and his subsequent treatment, have allowed him to continue and even excel in his gifted class.

Would a full evaluation hurt?

I am not trying to offend any teachers....I am only relaying my personal experience and the experiences of other families of friends I am involved with where I live in WV. Our school systems are not up-to-date on ADD/ADHD.

The teachers here are not being trained in how to deal with these children. Overcrowding in the classroom is rampant.

Would you all agree as teachers that 80% of your students are average, 10% are your superstars, and 10% are below average? The 10% that are below average in our school district are being left behind---these are the kids with the behavioral problems that the teachers just dont have time to deal with and dont want to deal with.

I had my son evaluated at the University of Virginia over the summer, he started school in September with the evaluation in hand---he did not get an IEP put into place until January of this year. He was placed in a primary one classroom with other kids with so called "behavioral problems"----not based on his academic testing or performance...just based on his behavior.....which should not be. He tetsed off the scales on his academic achievement.

I am sorry if I offended any of the teachers...they are such a lost commodity in my state due to low pay. But, once my child had been labeled as having ADD...he was labeled as having behavioral problems....and I am sorry, teachers do label children and it carries on with them throughout the rest of the educational process...which is not fair.

If you re-read what I wrote about the 3-5%---its 3-5% of the children in school on medication...not just being diagnosed as having ADD. Teachers at my school push for medication but they just dont have the time or the patience to deal with these children due to such overcrowding.

Now I know it starts at home with the parents working with the teacher. But when I "POP" into the school as I did last week to check on what kind of day he was having and find out that 3 out of the 5 days of the week he served as the "errand" boy for the office..running messages, getting students, etc....because"he was a little hyper those days"---he is losing out on academic progress...which any way you look at it is a failure on the school systems part.

Believe me, I say these things out of personal experience and have many friends who are teachers who have continually warned me of how they have ways of pushing these kids through the system to get them through....It has to change. I hope you can understand where I am coming from.

In schools where I have worked, it is common to ask a child to run and errand if they are upset or just need to get out some energy. The idea behind it is that going on the errand gives the child a chance to breathe and get out some energy, we figure kids need breaks just like adults. If you do not want your child to be send on errands, I would suggest talking to your child's teacher to come up with a way for your son to get his energy out appropriately without him leaving the classroom. I do things like stress balls (which can turn into toys, so may or may not work) and I do mini stretch breaks with the whole class, we might to 10 jumping jacks, a couple of push ups, silent head shoulders knees and toes, just something to get some energy out and get the blood flowing if attention is lagging. If your son's teacher does not do any of those things, and you would be more comfortable with that, try suggesting it to her. Good teachers are always willing to hear new ideas.

If the teachers in your school district are just trying to push the kids through and are not trying to help the children who are struggling, then that is something that needs to be worked on and that is very concerning:eek: . However there is the bell curve for anything. The bell curve is like a hill, in the middle is highest and that is where most of the population is, on either side it goes downhill and at each end is where the lowest end of the population is (Barb may be better able to explain this ;) ). As far as students being above and below grade level, and 80% being "average" that is typical and is, unfortunately, to be expected. The difference being how many students are in the low end and the amount of support they are receiving.

Would you all agree as teachers that 80% of your students are average, 10% are your superstars, and 10% are below average? The 10% that are below average in our school district are being left behind---these are the kids with the behavioral problems that the teachers just dont have time to deal with and dont want to deal with.I would say your school system is indeed lacking. 10% below average? 80% average?

If you re-read what I wrote about the 3-5%---its 3-5% of the children in school on medication...not just being diagnosed as having ADD. Teachers at my school push for medication but they just dont have the time or the patience to deal with these children due to such overcrowding.If teachers at your school are pushing medication, they are breaking the law. Teachers are not allowed to even MENTION medication. They are NOT allowed to make any sort of diagnosis. All they can do is communicate with parents about the need for children to be evaluated and discuss specific symptoms.

I am VERY sorry that your experience has been negative. There are plenty of people on the boards here who have had similar experiences. It's a shame that more teachers are not caring and educated.

But, if a parent reading an email such as the one in the OP does not at least give the teacher the benefit of the doubt, I wonder what sort of a future the child is likely to have.

Parents see their children in entirely different environments than teachers. The tasks impaired by ADD are cognitive in nature and are much more likely to pop up in school than at home.

My own child was NEVER a behavior problem. His teacher didn't contact us because she "didn't want to deal with him". She contacted us because my child needed help.

Getting a child evaluated by a professional can't be bad advice IMO.

If teachers at your school are pushing medication, they are breaking the law. Teachers are not allowed to even MENTION medication. They are NOT allowed to make any sort of diagnosis. All they can do is communicate with parents about the need for children to be evaluated and discuss specific symptoms.

Getting a child evaluated by a professional can't be bad advice IMO.
So true!

No, I'm not offended and thanks for taking the time to explain your position, that is appreciated. :) You are very right that you don't want to group all the behaviour kids together. I read that more then three kids a classroom with a behaviour problem, usually influence all their peers in a negative way. I have put my daughter in a higher math level then she should be next year because there will not be any behaviour issues in the higher stream.

In Ontario Canada, where I live, all ADHD kids are given a school based identification of behaviour, if they are to be identifed and recieve an IEP. Thats because currently it is seen as a behaviour disorder by the ministry. Thats all wrong but thats the way it is and may be where you live.

In schools where I have worked, it is common to ask a child to run and errand if they are upset or just need to get out some energy. That must be why my classroom job was "eraser pounder." One of the other active/naughty boys and I would take the erasers out and pound out the chalk. :) I never stopped to wonder why we had to go clear across the campus to the other side of the playground to do this. ;)

Actually, pounding the erasers was probably the highlight of my day. If they took that job from me, I'd probably have gone nuts.

Actually, pounding the erasers was probably the highlight of my day. If they took that job from me, I'd probably have gone nuts.

That made me lol. I had that job too. We would wack those things against the school wall so hard it must have looked as if we bent on beating out the evil spirits. There would be so much chalk dust in the air sometimes that it would make you cough.

Don't forget wiping down the chalk board with a damp cloth. The girls always got that chore along with watering the plants.

I thought punding the erasers was fun, except for the coughing from the chalk dust! I always tried to make pretty designs on the building. ;)

Welcome to the forums, Windmillway!:)


I'm a former teacher and the mother of an ADD kid (I'm ADD too). I think that teacher is very tuned in and willing to work with you. She gave very specific feedback on what she was experiencing in her interactions with your child; noted his strengths as well as weaknesses, and was willing to work with you. It sounds like a very promising beginning. Knowing what is really going on puts you in a position to best address it effectively.

Scattered

Thankfully our teacher DID mention medication. Someone here said that is against the law??
My daughter is NOT a behavior problem at all and does not have problems with relationships with her peers. Just a few months ago she was voted "nicest person", "friendliest person" and "best smile" in her class. Having said that, at conferences her teacher confided in us that she was worried about her and talked about her disorganization, study skills, daydreaming, etc. the TEACHER told me that she personally was diagnosed with ADD at age 38 and it changed her life once she had a diagnosis, understood herself better and started taking medication. Her marriage was actually on the rocks because of all the ADD issues she had that she had hidden from her fiance and once they were married he found it all out and put his foot down and said she had to do something. Her life (and marriage) was saved by her diagnosis and treatment. I didn't want my daughter to start struggling as she got older (5th grade right now) and after talking to our dr and being referred to a specialist both of us are trying meds and behavior modification techniques and we both see a difference in ourselves and each other already.

I am VERY thankful that the teacher talked openly to us about her personal situation and suggested at the very least talking to our daughter or having testing done. I'm glad we did and I wasn't upset or offended that she talked to us about it. My daughter suddenly has a clean and very organized bedroom and math class and spelling which she was struggling in has become easy for her. I'm still waiting for that whole cleaning and organizing thing to kick in for me like it did for my daughter but sadly, I've got 40 years of bad habits to undo.

I think your teacher just cares about your son and wants to help.

I thought punding the erasers was fun, except for the coughing from the chalk dust! I always tried to make pretty designs on the building. ;)That's the errand they always made me run. That and picking up supplies. LOL

To Windmillway,

My daughter is also in second grade. We are also lucky enough to have a caring teacher like you have. What the teacher is saying is from her heart and now the next step is up to you. Ask the school psychologist to observe your child in class and find a local doctor that is experienced with children.

d