View Full Version : unwanted, unloved


Dez5586
04-10-06, 10:28 PM
Hi I am new to the boards I have not yet been diagnosed with Add but am current trying to find one I truly think that i have it. Anyway Today i was talking to my boyfriend and he says that he feels like I don't love him anymore and i do. I don't know why he thinks this and i want to show him other wise. But i think my add may be interfereing. Does anybody have any advice.

chameleon
04-10-06, 10:32 PM
How do you think your ADD is interfering with telling him you love him?
Welcome to the board btw.
A dx would be the first step I'd take if I was you.

addinbc
04-10-06, 10:43 PM
Hi there Dez;

Welcome to the forums!

I agree with what Chameleon said. Right now, looking into getting properly assessed and diagnosed would be a good idea.

With regards to your boyfriend, be as completely open, honest and upfront about your feelings for him as you possibly can. He'll appreciate your honesty.

Good luck! :)

dormammau2008
04-12-06, 10:46 AM
youve done nothing worng so in the end say you love..him an see were things go from there i really dont think its your add/ adhd....is the porbelm id becarefull what you tell him cos your not shore what they have tosay yet i wish you all the best an wellcome to the add fourms dorm xx

Crazygirl79
04-13-06, 01:15 AM
Hi Darling.

I have ADHD combination type and my advice to you is that if you think or know you have ADD/ADHD is to read as much as possible on it if you haven't already, get some kind of assessment and diagnosis....from what I've read you're definitely on the right track.



As for your man, I sympathise with him when he says he feels unloved, but it's definitely NOT your fault and since you say you do love him, then if you have trouble telling him verbally how you really feel perhaps a letter might do the trick.



Have you told your b/f about the possibility of you having ADD??



Good luck in the diagnosis process....trust me most of us on this forum have been there and done that and it's a great feeling once you find out why you're a little different to the rest.



I hope it all works out for you and keep us posted.



Selena:) Hi I am new to the boards I have not yet been diagnosed with Add but am current trying to find one I truly think that i have it. Anyway Today i was talking to my boyfriend and he says that he feels like I don't love him anymore and i do. I don't know why he thinks this and i want to show him other wise. But i think my add may be interfereing. Does anybody have any advice.

crime_scene
04-13-06, 01:32 AM
Hi Dez5586,

re your boyfriend,

It is possible that as your attention is drawn to other interesting and new things, he has begun to feel left out and ignored, even though you feel everything is all "good".

This could be happening in terms of the amount of time that you spend with him, and what he perceives is the attention that you pay to him when you are with him, or possibly even the frequency of your physical attentions.

I think it would be wise to ask him what changes behaviour or lack of behaviour on your part has led him to conclude you don't love him.

You can use what he says as a way to explain that you are unaware of these changes, plus it will also give you a tip as to how he is seeing your actions, even though it may not be apparent to you.

In my opinion only, I think it is really important that

1) you tell him how you are perceiving the situation and also about your possible ADD

2) you try to understand how he is perceiving things and what behaviour you might need to tweak in order to make things to run smoothly, because this same issue that your bf is experiencing is very likely to plague you with all your future relationships as well.

3) he learns that not being noticed is not the same thing as being ignored

I am just guessing that this might be the situation here, but this is from my personal experience with my ADD friend, fairly substantial research as well as considerable information provided by the other nonADD and ADD folks who address relationship issues on this site.

Good luck with this

cs

dormammau2008
04-24-06, 02:35 PM
the best love ofve all is to love your self dorm

auntchris
04-30-06, 07:02 PM
welcome to the forum, Dez.

I agree with Chameleon and many more; the first thing you need to do hun is to be accessed and diagnosed.
Keep us informed on every thing.
As for your boyfriend, have you talked to him.