I'm looking for experiences regarding family members that have never been diagnosed and never recieved proper medical treatment for ADD while they should have.

How did they cope with their problems without meds?

I am such a beast. I have never had a diagnosis and never had meds. How did I cope? I didn't. Failed grade 5 and there were threats to fail me again in grade 6 and 8. Scraped by in school, did the stoner thing, and then accessive drinking. Luckly I found art which got me to University which hooked me up with my wife. She supported me and pushed me forward. Stumbled through a number of jobs and then when I was older and more mature...I ended up in the right place at the right time. I have had run-ins at work but I'm always on the right side of an issue. At least in my own mind, I'm on the right side of an issue. :)

I use coffee. It's enough to get me started in the day and give me a boost in the afternoon.

I use coffee. It's enough to get me started in the day and give me a boost in the afternoon.ouch, that can't be that great, hows ur blood pressure?

i don't take meds or anything like that but then again i haven't been dx'ed so i don't know if i even have add/adhd and although i've managed to get this far i think this final hnd project is gonna finally be the thing that kicks me in the ***, serves me right though, i'm shocked that i've managed to get this far.

sry, i just realised that i really misread ur post, i'm sry, times up so i can't edit/delete it

My husband has all the markers of ADD, but none of the impairments.

He didn't cope growing up -- he failed many classes & hated school.

He turned out all right for a few reasons:

1 -- He's remarkably intelligent, making up for some of the deficits.
2 -- He has an amazing work ethic, making up for the motivational deficits.
3 -- He went to a fine arts college, where he excelled since he was able to avoid the coursework that would have sunk him at a standard institution.
4 -- He managed to find a way to make a career with his artistic strengths, eliminating the need for tasks that he would otherwise find difficult.
5 -- He has me to do the things he hates!

I have ADD and have taken medication and currently I'm not taking any, because I learned one has to cycle with the stimulants, to avoid building up a tolerance.

While I am off the meds, I meditate and practice yoga. These activities help, but I can still feel the deficiencies of not taking the stims.

I'm looking forward to getting back on the meds.

I also take some natural herbs and amino acids, of which I cycle with too.

I haven't been diagnosed and never on meds, I certainly know I have ADD though. I didn't do well in school, never was interested in college or learning much or motivated to go further in life. I had to quit numerous jobs because not being able to pick up on things. I guess I've just learned to cope, but just wonder if my life would of turned out differently if I was on medication. I don't think ADD was even much talked about while I was growing up or even in my early 20's. I know I wasn't familiar with it.

I didn't. nearly failed high school... and there were threats to fail me.. Scraped by in school, did the stoner thing, and then excessive drinking.I ended up in the right place at the right time. I have had run-ins at work and lost all jobs until I landed in a family business. :)

I use coffee. It's enough to get me started in the day and give me a boost in the afternoon.ditto from me too..except I changed a of that post bit to suit my life...I am now taking medication...

I'm looking for experiences regarding family members that have never been diagnosed and never recieved proper medical treatment for ADD while they should have.

How did they cope with their problems without meds?The answer for my family? Not very f***ing well. My dad, dead 4 years now, was little mourned at his death. We suffered untold trauma at his hands. Now that I'm newly diagnosed I can see that he had ADD as well . God rest his soul. I can see now that he suffered, but as a child I dreamed of someday killing the tyrant. Let that be a lesson for all of you ADD parents.

The answer for my family? Not very f***ing well. My dad, dead 4 years now, was little mourned at his death. We suffered untold trauma at his hands. Now that I'm newly diagnosed I can see that he had ADD as well . God rest his soul. I can see now that he suffered, but as a child I dreamed of someday killing the tyrant. Let that be a lesson for all of you ADD parents.mADD....I am always petrified I will turn out like that...I can be such a hard parent, and now I see I was too controlling over my house just so I could get a grip on myself..and what *may* happen if I relaxed and let my house run itself..does that make sence??? I over compensated just to keep control of myself....I hate it...I am changing...

OMG!! thanks for your 'warning'...:(

I am such a beast. I have never had a diagnosis and never had meds. How did I cope? I didn't. Failed grade 5 and there were threats to fail me again in grade 6 and 8. Scraped by in school, did the stoner thing, and then accessive drinking. Luckly I found art which got me to University which hooked me up with my wife. She supported me and pushed me forward. Stumbled through a number of jobs and then when I was older and more mature...I ended up in the right place at the right time. I have had run-ins at work but I'm always on the right side of an issue. At least in my own mind, I'm on the right side of an issue. :)

I use coffee. It's enough to get me started in the day and give me a boost in the afternoon.How can you be sure you have ADD if you've never been dx'd? So many things mimic ADD...
I worry about members here that don't get doctor's dx's, especially when their treatment isn't helping them, or they're not trying any treatment - self help or ADD meds iffy docs slip them. If they have something besides ADD causing their symtoms, they might find better relief if they were properly dx'd.

I wasn't diagnosed 'til I was 40, before that I fumbled around like a fish on dry land.
It wasn't a pretty sight.
'Course, I still do because the meds that have been tried didn't help me (severe ADHD), but at least now I know I'm not a bumbling idiot. :D

The book will be out sometime in 2020 :).

I have ADD inattentive and was never medicated or diagnosed. I found out for sure 2 years ago when my daughter was diagnosed, but always knew something was not right with me. So much has happened in my life that I truely do some day want to write a book so I can share what it was like, the good, the bad and the ugly. I had all the classics symptoms and the emotional fallout.

In gradeschool I did not fit in socially, was awkard at athletics and even though I was told I had a high IQ, hit the wall in 3rd grade and it was downhill from there. I remember in 2nd grade, a nun that would slap me in the face every day because I used to daydream and stare out the window at a green field behind the school and wish I was there. At that time I was making A's but still got slapped. After 3rd grade things just got worse. I had emotional problems and saw a psychiatrist that scared me to death and all I did was scream and cry through the whole session. That was the first of a line of psychiatrists and psychologists that had no clue what my problem was.

Later in gradeschool I got involved with the "wrong" crowd, ran away from home for a few hours(laugh,laugh), and got a lecture from a police officer that I was really snotty too. I still can't believe the way I talked to him when I think about it. I eventually got straigtened out and my parents got me away from that situation.

As I got older I started to learn to compensate for what seemed to be missing somewhere in my brain. The best way I can describe it to people is that it is like trying to cross over a river without the bridge and trying to find a way around to the other side. After falling in the water numerous times I did eventually find ways to get to the other side minus the bridge that other people have and take for granted.

By High school I had figured out how to do ok socially, but never really did well gradewise because I would get overwhelmed and give up. Depression and low self esteem were problems I constantly dealt with. My parents, whom I think have/had ADD themselves, could not understand me at all. They sincerely tried to help me but at times were very harsh. There was lots of friction and misunderstandings in my home and my sisters grew to resent me. That didn't come out until later in life but is now finally resolved after some wicked blowouts between us all(2 younger sisters).

I did make it through High school, never failed a grade, luckily. Then came my early adult life which consisted of drinking and getting high with my friends, quitting college and getting fired from a few jobs. Next came the
"Mr. Wonderful" that my parents "just loved". He was ruggedly handsome and totally unruly. A nightmare come true. Just about destroyed my life. It was after that, that I turned to God and asked for help. I had always attended church and believed in God. It turned out to be my salvation. It didn't cure me but it made me realize I needed to help myself. I worked hard at it and I did eventually learn how to deal with all the raw emotions I had been dealt. I learned to get along better with my family and others in general. I forced myself to put others needs before my own selfish needs and somehow by the true grace of God I wound up with a nice job, married and with a daughter I love to pieces, even though she makes me want to rip out my hair sometimes(and that's a lot of hair). :)

My marriage and family life is another whole story in itself and has had rough patches but as of right now we are all doing ok. The diagnosis was the best thing that could have ever happened to us. As I have said in other posts, Knowledge has been freedom for me. I truely know myself and my limitations. It was an uphill climb my whole life and had I been medicated when I was young my life may have been very different, but it wasn't and here I am. Luckily for my daughter, she doesn't have ADD to the degree I do and with a 504 plan in school excels. I am so proud of her. I am however not closed minded if the need for medication arises. We will cross that bridge when we get there.

Thanks to counseling, research and lots of support we are doing ok. Everyone is different, everyone has to make their own choices. This is my life and mine. Sorry so long a post. I don't know what got into me. I don't think I have ever shared this much, but for some reason I guess it was time. Thanks so much for muddling through if you made it to the end.
A Happy Easter to You All. Dee

How can you be sure you have ADD if you've never been dx'd? So many things mimic ADD...
I worry about members here that don't get doctor's dx's, especially when their treatment isn't helping them, or they're not trying any treatment - self help or ADD meds iffy docs slip them. If they have something besides ADD causing their symtoms, they might find better relief if they were properly dx'd.

Three daughters all with a diagnosis of ADHD. I also work in Spec ed. and see examples of inattentive ADHD everyday. Those kids could be my children. :)

Sorry it's so long. I just can't explain my struggles before meds in a more concise way!:faint:

I think my mom is undiagnosed ADD, food is her way of self-medicating. She is obese and very unhealthy.

My brother was diagnosed, but doc refused meds because he wouldn't read Driven to Distraction (yeah, refuse add meds to someone b/c they can't concentrate long enough to read a book!! Makes soooo much sense!!!:mad: :eek: :soapbox: ) Without help I don't see him progressing past a blue collar worker, even though he is very smart. Is a pothead and a drinker, probably self-medicating... He's classic "boy ADHD," I'm classic "girl ADHD." (we are both combined type).

I think I do better than him b/c I was the first-born and my parents have never let me quit school or jobs and I actually listened.

I have always struggled with focusing. I'm always doing more than one thing at once, cannot maintain focus unless hyperfocusing. I also can never remember what I read, I always just speed read. Driving has always been hard.;)

I actually did well in school. I don't know how. I never put in as much effort as my friends. I was chatty in class, daydreamed. I never did readings, I couldn't take notes b/c I would feel like everything was important and was trying to take a transcript. Parents always felt I put in effort, but it was just because my grades were good. Somehow I managed A's and B's, in honors classes, except in the occasional math C or D. Felt horrible b/c my struggles were not recognized, and didn't have a sense of self and didn't feel I did anything well since I couldn't focus enough to try, and had a couple of teachers who picked on me.

I had difficulty with social skills. I always had "friends" but they were more school friends who liked having me around because I was really fun and entertaining (read ditzy, clutzy, random, and impulsive, randomly running and jumping around ;) ). I was a cheerleader from 5th grade on, so teachers and peers saw me as a "typical cheerleader." These traits attracted guys at first, but then eventually led to break ups.:(

In college, I went through a phase of feeling suicidal. Started to see a psych.

This was when my brother was going through diagnosis. My mom read Driven to Distraction, hoping she could give my brother the cliff notes version since he wouldn't read and found she was reading about me, too. She told me what she thought and wanted me to tell my psych. I didn't think so, but I brought it up and he said it seemed like I did and offered me meds. I was in denial and even those symptoms I did acknowledge, I didn't think impaired me enough for meds.

Fast forward four years of struggles, but managing to keep afloat. Then, new to an area where I found my first classroom. Struggled at work, master's program, and socially. Trying to help one of my kids with social skills problems forced me to think about myself. Realized I needed help, and was really lonely.

Looked up social skills info on the web, saw that people with ADHD have difficulty with social skills. Decided to go to B&N to buy social skills book. Remembering my dx from years ago ended up buying a book on ADHD instead. Read about things I never associated with ADHD, looked up symptoms, read a list of everything I always felt bad about myself for! Finally got dx again and am now on meds. Feeling a lot better now, but know still need more help. Still ADHD, but much less so! :p

Hey Chloe, I found this quote

Before you critcize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. Jack Handy

I found it here
http://quotes.prolix.nu/Humor/Jack_Handey/

I read your stories. I started this topic because I knew that there was going to be an accumulation of wonderful (be it good or bad) life stories.

I was diagnosed early but never given meds as a kid. I had all the protective factors that are said to help: stable consistent loving parents with adequate financial resources to send me to the college for tutoring during the summer and pay for music lessons and such which helped me fit in and develop an outlet where I shone. I also went to strict parochial schools (non Catholic) with lots of boundaries which helped. I was helped out by being bright and anxious (I understand that it's unusual for anxious ADDers to end up with conduct disorders).

I helped myself out by eating a very simple (no processed food or sugar) diet and exercising 3 or 4 times a day. For me I think my spiritual connection also helped calm and focus me.

I have a prescription now which has helped a lot, but ATM I'm taking a holiday from it. It helps but only so much -- I'm trying to decide if it helps enough. I've never much liked taking meds and if I've learned enough and can adjust my environment enough, get myself scheduled enough, ect to get by without meds (at least on an ever day basis) I'd prefer that. We'll see -- my ADD appears to have gotten worse since turning 40, so this plan may not work.
Scattered

How can you be sure you have ADD if you've never been dx'd? So many things mimic ADD...
I worry about members here that don't get doctor's dx's, especially when their treatment isn't helping them, or they're not trying any treatment - self help or ADD meds iffy docs slip them. If they have something besides ADD causing their symtoms, they might find better relief if they were properly dx'd.i know what u mean cham, i mean i would never take anything unless dx'ed and perscribed by a doc, admittedly i usually take a shortcut due to relative being a nurse but thats only if it's something trivial like the flu or something like that so the point still stands.

I can't really understand how people can be so sure of something that they would skip the doc, even if it's something that runs in the family it's best to get dx'ed first, i mean only if it's for reassurance than anything.

I myself have suspected that i may have add for 3 years now even before i started making jokes out of me being unable to finish anything, saying that i have add as a joke and then my teacher going "yeah, u probably have".

meh, maybe it's just me....

(just to note i'm not one of those people that makes a big deal out of the slightest thing)

A formal diagnosis is always nice, but since he's not looking for medication and is very familiar with the symptoms and has a strong family gene for it -- as well as a childhood history that bears it out....... He's probably right on the money.

Kind of under the category of "If it walks like duck, look likes a duck, sounds like a duck .........."

Scattered

My older brother has ADHD and since my diagnosis, my mom believes we got it formr my dad and after reading up on ADD and understanding the symptoms I think I agree. I think he believes he has it to but he figures sinces he's been successful he doesn't see the point in getting medicated.
I think he succeeded for a number of reasons.

He's very smart,
He was in the military for 20 years, a place that gave him a LOT of structure and a place where he felt valued and needed,
He has a great sense of humor

He hasn't gotten away unscathed though. He has aterrible temper. He's never hurt any of us but he gets angery(mostly at himself) when things don't go his way or when he thinks he's screwed up.
He struggles with work now. He gets it done and he's in a high possition in his company but he has to work twice as hard to do what comes easier for others. I think that's what hurts him the most.

Hey Chloe, I found this quote


I found it here
http://quotes.prolix.nu/Humor/Jack_Handey/
Thanks! The site where I found the quote said it was probably Jack Handey but listed a couple of others from SNL as well, so I figured it would be safe just to say SNL! ;)

My mother had clinical depression and anxiety disorders, as well as fibromylgia and other problems, but nothing that looked like ADD -- she developed senile dementia, and after a long struggle, died May 5 of last year.

Well, I'm pretty sure my dad had ADD (he died in 1998; I wasn't dx'ed with ADD myself until January of 2005) but less severe than mine, and fewer comorbids. (I've got GAD and have really severe near-suicidal depressive episodes the likes of which weren't apparent with him.) He was socially awkward early in life -- I found out right before he died that, like me, he never dated in high school, and my parents didn't meet until they were 34 ... I got the impression there was not a lot of dating in between.

I think he also had mild depression, but like many men of his generation if he seemed down and my mother asked about it, he would simply announce "I don't want to talk about it!" and leave the room, or turn up the TV. There was always a bottle of brandy around and he eventually drank every night right before bed so he could get some sleep. Much like his father before him and at times, myself.

He was usually emotionally distant, in the room without "being in the room." He had an explosively LOUD temper. A shouter and slammer of doors, then could stay silent for days after an outburst... he and my mother cold-shouldered each other once for over a week. He won. (There were some shorter contests, but she really couldn't stay that angry and that silent for that long.) Yet he had a terrific sense of humor and could be funny and charming with just about anyone.

I guess you could say his primary meds were nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol in that order. Which has been my "treatment plan" at various points in my life.

One of the classic signs was starting projects that never really went anywhere, most often weren't intended to... He was very mechanically oriented (I'm not, which was a clear disappointment) and was always puttering with engines, turning things on lathes, worked with stained glass for a few years, then made customized belt buckles for himself and friends for a year or so, built small models of steam engines that ran on compressed air, etc. A small, old fishing boat that he loved, but left unpatched for years, sitting in the back yard. A "tractor" with a frame built from scratch with a Volvo engine he called the Silver Streak, that ended up being too large and too fast to be practical for anything, but WAS a lot of fun to scare the neighbors with:eek: -- then share a laugh with them. :D The house he bought was in an area that could be re-zoned commercial because he had wanted to open a small engine repair business, which never actually happened in the three decades and change that he lived there.

He was usually either in the basement or garage wroking on one thing or another, or in his easy chair watching a small tv with one show on, a larger tv with another show that my mom or I were also watching, and an earplug hooked up to police scanner... tuning out everyone in the room and multi-slacking!:D A pattern of behavior I also share.:o

But he was functional, more than I've ever been by a long, long way. He kept a steady job as a machinist and saw operator for over thirty years, was offered promotions which he refused (he was pretty happy with his work and had no interest in supervising) never missed a day unless he had a broken leg or something just as incapacitating, and for whatever flaws he had, I know he cared for my mother and me as best he was able, and was hurt (I could see even then) that he couldn't be closer in some ways.

I think I'll finish now, I've blathered enough... if he's somehow watching this in spirit, I'm gonna catch SO much hell :p

Wow, thats a touching story. Thanks for sharing it.

I personally think back in the day before ADD medications - there was alcohol. Thats what I am using right now, and its working pretty well for the time being. Ill let you all know when I join AA, haa.

Thats why alcohol was so popular back in the day, and thats why its so popular today. Most people wont go to the doc to find out their brain is screwed up - so instead they drink.

Thank the good lord for alcohol. Thank you lord, for providing the less confident, racing minds, and overly anxious people with this amazing clear liquid to make out inhibitions disaappear. What a wonderful life =D

Haha, alcohol! I'm not sure on that one, I find I get more lyrical inspirations when drunk but keep forgetting to write them down. Having said that I can't play guitar very well when when I'm mortalled so often my lyrics and compositions come together very much at random. I often find myself scrabbling through scrawled notes for something that fits the feel of the riffs I've just come up with.
I believe it's a good point about official diagnosis there, but having said that I've ruthlessly analyzed my own thought processes and behaviour, asked friends and cross-referenced symptoms with several other possible disorders (aspergers, discalcula, bipolar, OCD, etc.) and although I have no official dx of it (and from what I hear this is going to be an uphill struggle in the UK), I am more than certain I suffer from innatentive type ADD. More notably, pretty much everyone's story on here paints an exact picture of myself, which in itself is simultaneously liberating and upsetting.
Anyway, I've never been diagnosed, never had meds, and no I didn't cope at school at all. I was a very intelligent kid so often got by on the fact I was just picking things up and improvising, so occasionally they didn't notice I wasn't actually listening to a word they said. Obviously when the stress of GCSEs hit that all went out the window, much like many other people on here have said. In year 8 I believe my average maths score on modular tests was something like 92%, after that in subsequent years I was put in a higher group where my grades suffered terribly as I was unable to take in the pace of work. I only scraped a B after being demoted to the 2nd group after the teacher in despair asked me why in 2 months I hadn't even scratched my final coursework. Within 10 minutes of a personal, 1-on-1 explanation from her I had solved the equation. The next day I handed in the rest and got full marks. Another example is when I spent 2 weeks trying to write an essay and got a D, then wrote a 2000-word piece on Macbeth in the space of ooh, about 2 hours and got an A for it. Another was my German speaking exam, a subject where the teacher hated me for my almost complete lack of any work whatsoever. I basically sat down and had a casual conversation in German with him. After which his exact words were "This is what annoys me about you, Joshua! You do NOTHING, **** around for the whole time, then you come in here and come out with something brilliant like that!" Although due to lack of any coursework I got a D. My music exam was another story, it's a VERY tactile subject, I played guitar constantly in a state of what I now know as hyperfocus for over a year, so basically I had to write my name on the written exam to score a B.

Obviously I was then oblivious to the possibility of ADD, despite being in a 'special needs' group which, as I recall, did nothing other than remove me from classes in which I was being disruptive for the good of the other pupils, and put me in ones which, at the time, made me feel like a spaceman amongst cavemen - severely out of ****ing place. I did however realise that I worked best when there was some urgency or enthusiasm for it. I was certainly the king of producing results at the last minute. Although I'd love to have known what I'd have been capable of had I been able to sustain my attention over long projects and coursework.

At college I got stoned a lot and dropped out twice, due to coursework not being done and possibly the distractions of the fairer sex, which was previously unknown to me, and I was probably somewhat bemused at the fact that women were finding me attractive all of a sudden. Unfortunately I never really capitalised on this fact haha, since in those situations I was pretty insecure and prone to obsession. Which isn't what the pretty college girl who fancied the loud confident funny type really expected I guess. Didn't help my work much either. If you have ADD, don't smoke weed too much, it gives you paranoia and anxiety and you'll get bot all work done unless you hit hyperfocus (in which case I actually do alright).

Er, sorry, went off on one there. Basically, no I was never treated and although I've attempted to compensate for certain obvious problems, my problems still persist and I still don't feel like I've got off the bottom rung of the ladder as far as my life's concerned. I should be a LOT further on than I am right now.

I'm looking for experiences regarding family members that have never been diagnosed and never recieved proper medical treatment for ADD while they should have.

How did they cope with their problems without meds?
Ive never been on meds. Im 29 now. I smoke a lot of pot. I dont know if it has anythning to do with my ADD but i smoke every day and always feel the need to buy more if I dont have any. I cant think of a day I have not smoked pot in the last 15 years. Im still unorganized, pay bills late, sloppy, forget things etc etc so maybe I didnt cope.

skel1977 - wholie crap man thats a lot of pot. You should have opened an IRA, or a Bond or something. After 15 years you could have had some good cash saved up man. Can I ask - if you buy it so much why dont you just grow it in your backyard. I know you can get a marijuana card in some states, and that allows you to grow 4 plants in your home for medical use. THen you wont have to spend all your money on it.

Skel,

Your experience with marijuana is Not a glowing testimonial to the drug as an ADHD remedy.

But, we ADDers are prone to substance abuse, whether you label it self-medication or not.

In fact, early treatment for ADHD has been shown to prevent future drug abuse.

See this meta-analysis (http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/111/1/179):
Our results suggest that stimulant therapy in childhood is associated with a reduction in the risk for subsequent drug and alcohol use disorders.

Ive never been on meds. Im 29 now. I smoke a lot of pot. I dont know if it has anythning to do with my ADD but i smoke every day and always feel the need to buy more if I dont have any. I cant think of a day I have not smoked pot in the last 15 years. Im still unorganized, pay bills late, sloppy, forget things etc etc so maybe I didnt cope.If you like the feeling of pot you would like the feeling of St. John's Wort or 5-htp. These things are legal and under $10 a bottle.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5-HTP

I personally indulged in Cocaine in the eighties.

Self medication.:(

Ha. I think (as in, I'm positive, but it's not official) that my mother has ADHD. (When I first brought her a list of my symptoms, asking for her support in pursuing diagnosis, she said, "Dan, you CAN'T have ADD! I do all these things too!")

How has she coped? Not that well.

She did well in school (like I did) because she was smart and interested in learning (like I was), but she scraped by in math because she also has a math LD. (Also unrecognized.)

In college, she met my dad, got pregnant with me, and dropped out. She never finished what she was taking at the time. They moved into a little apartment together.

We were very poor - she tells me about picking dead roaches out of my Cheerios because we lived in a dump, and we couldn't afford to replace food that bugs had gotten into. Dad says she cleaned our dumpy little apartment like a mad thing every day, trying to keep from being overwhelmed by the dirt and decay. This is probably where/how she learned to pull up the motivation to keep our household together as the years went by. I don't remember this period.

We moved from Saskatoon (where my mother had lived her whole life - my dad too, nearly, I think) to Montreal, so my dad could finally have a better job. My mother would still have only been 21, max, so I cannot imagine how terrified she was. (I try to see myself doing this without developing severe anxiety, and can't.) Neither of my parents speak passable French, or have any relatives living in Quebec. Again, I credit the massive responsibility she had to me as something that probably gave her the strength to manage despite ADHD. Do or die, kinda. My sister was born in this period, too. And then, I think my dad got things "altered" to avoid anymore of THAT. LOL.

Eventually, we moved back to Saskatoon, and then later to Calgary. (Again, for the sake of my dad's job in both cases.) I can finally remember more of this, and what my mother was like. The answer is: impulsive. She bounces from thing to thing. She ran a daycare out of our home for extra money for a while. Then she was the Avon lady. Then she sold a really ugly line of clothing out of our house. One thing after another... She had all these hobbies. Daycare was sort of one of them, but there was also sewing, make-up, various crafts, fashion, etc. (My mother seems to be interested in the way things look. I don't think she's shallow, she just wants the world to look better, feel better.) She spent a huge amount of money on stuff, and then abandoned it.

She was disorganized. Not nearly as bad as me, so she gets frustrated with me. (All that cleaning that first apartment, I tell you!) We have several dozen books scattered (naturally!) around the house with titles like, "Organization for Dummies," and (hang on, there's a few right here), "Get You Act Together (By The Slob Sisters)" and "It's Here...Somewhere."

She was inattentive, for sure. And also hyperfocused like it was going out of style. I eventually learned to grab her and shake her before I told her where I was going, or what I was doing. And learned to make her make eye contact and repeat it, too. (I remember one incident where I asked her - while she was reading a book - if I could go swimming in a friend's pool down the block. She said sure. When I showed up several hours later, still in a swimsuit and towel, she was about to call the police.)

And finally...I hate to say this, but she was abusive. I won't get into details, but impulsive, wild and abusive anger clearly runs in my family. Her side, and my father's. I don't know if this would be different if she'd been treated, or not.

Today:

-She went back to school for an interior decorating diploma, but has never done any work in the field since, and says she's, "bored with it now."

-We have a spare bedroom full of scrapbooking equipment, paper, projects, stamps, etc, etc. etc. because of her last recent "obsession" with scrapbooking. She's "bored with that now."

-You can barely get to the file cabinets in that room where (supposedly!) we have our paperwork sorta-organized. Other paperwork goes in the "paper chicken" (a wire basket shaped like a chicken) in the kitchen, but she constantly can't find stuff in it. Like bills. LOL.

-Behind the sofa, we have piles and piles of yarn, because her new obsession is knitting. Oh, boy.


...Get the picture? Hahah. And let's not even get INTO me. :D

Hmm, coke eh? Never tried coke, basically figure if I'm this arrogant and talk this much normally, I don't want people to see me on coke lol! Having said that I've had ecstasy and other than talking constantly on overdrive and the inevitable comedown, didn't really have any horrible effects. Speed did pretty much nothing, I was absolutely fine on it. Which makes me wonder since it's often closest compared to ritalin. None of this was self-medicating you understand, this was purely recreational. I stopped the class A's these days though for fear they may affect my mind in the long run. And seeing a few mates who can't even get through the day without a measly spliff put me off drugs culture a bit as well.

Well, my dad is the one who "gave" me my ADHD. He has not been medicated for most of his life, and he has had an interesting one at that too.

He grew up in a white collar family and was highly intellegent and did well in school because of that (but frankly, in social situations, hes the one person who i think is stupider than I am :)) He also had a pretty rough childhood with an abusive mother, but im glad enough he never did anything that she did to him to me, i think he understood that that was wrong. He has horrible anxiety from it.

He did chemical engineering in college and got A's most of the time, not because he listened to the teachers, he told me he didnt most of the time. My mom has told me she always got frusturated with him becuse he could do that stuff without studying it at all, and just go in there and ace tests a lot of the time (i cant do this, thats what i get for going to a rich and good small private undergrad universty- but then i get good teachers that work with me because I know whats going on with me).

He then went to Harvad Business school, and is now working directly under the CEO in the buisness he has been in for 20+ years. He does not have a specific job, but works with everyone at the top level. He is a great negotiator because he is able to look at things and not focus on the political level of things, and this is good :).


As a kid, he failed out of kindergarten- pretty tough to do- but that was due partially to the family situation I think, but mostly to ADHD. He had a hard time in doing things for most of the time outside of college level- but was a very smart guy and got through it with good grades most of the time from what I can remeber- similar to me, i got through elementary and HS totally on my own intellegence, i test in the "genius" level, but probably preform much lower than that with my 3.00 gpa in college-

Although he is an incredibally smart guy, like many other ADHDers, he has had not the greatest social life/abilities. But, before I say that, he is a great dad- never done anything bad to me, we got along great because we are so similar- and becoming a much much better husband- never physical with my mom, both my dad and I are quite pacifistic, paritally i think because we both had violence against us, my grandma and grandpa towards my dad and probably his peers, and my peers for me- My mom gets incredibally frusturated with my dad all the time- just goes crazy over the things that he does and how he is always going and going and going and never stops and doesnt think about what he says half the times. I remember 2 specific things he has said to my mom, with no harm intended just the typical impulsive statments, 1- Whats with your hair 2- You're wearing that?. I love my dad, hes so honest :).

But, i think he has coped well with his condition, and had favorable things to go along with it- a very high intellegence and a striving to help people being 2 of the main things that i think have helped him keep going on, not to say he has had ups or downs.

I think my story of my dad is much different than most of the peoples experiences on here- My dad is a highly successful guy that didnt do anything horrible to anyone and has always had good intentions, and frankly, if he didnt have ADHD, and I would go crazy, so i love having him around. He has a great wife (and i have a great mom also, not perfect by any means any of them, but absoultely great because they both want to learn and do good).

Yeah, he handeled it incredibally well considering how many other people have turned out.