NEWSFLASH**

ADDer 2Busy2Think has started to doubt that he has ADD! Exclusive Interview Follows! ;

?: Well 2Busy, word has it you are starting to doubt you have ADD!
2Busy: Thats right, but its not for no reason you know...
?: For no reason you say? What does that mean 2Busy, can you elaborate?
2Busy: Well yes, I will. You see, I have never been able to pay attention to anything my whole life. Only things like TV or video games. I thought I had ADD ya know, like anyone would with my symptoms. I even went out and got a prescription for the Adderall!
?: Adderall, thats the new controversial ADD drug right?
2Busy: Thats right. So, after taking this stuff things cleared up. I felt happier even man, it was great. After about 3 weeks though, I felt kinda emotionless...
?: emotionless, what does that mean? did the Adderall cause this?
2Busy: Well, I guess I mean that I didnt want to laugh, or smile, or really feel anything. It was just a kinda neutral feeling ya know. I think the Adderall did cause it because after I lost my job, I couldent get it anymore. I felt more energetic again like before I took the Adderall, but I couldent concentrate. I always felt like I had to much on my mind, but I started realizing i didnt...
?: This sounds good, I think I know what you mean, but will you explain further for out readers?
2Busy: Ofcourse no problem. I guess I started to think I couldent concentrate because of so many things flashing into my mind, like ADD. But lately I have been catching myself really seeking peoples approval. Like looking over in a movie to see if they are laughing before I even laugh.
?: Wow, thats pretty intense. So you feel like you doubt yourself a lot, is that right?
2Busy: Yes, exactly! Its like, I am always wondering what everyone else is thinking. I tell myself I dont care, but its like I am starting to doubt everything I know about myself to be true. Its like, I am over-analyzing every action in my day, every word I say - and asking myself how it sounded. Did I say it right? Did whoever im with think it was funny?
?: So its like a self doubt / low confidence thing. Maybe OCD with the thought-process?
2Busy: My thoughts exactly, at first I thought it was just me being down on myself. Not feeling confident. I dont have a lot of friends, infact I dont have any friends. I find myself doubing myself a lot, and even this positive thinking stuff dosnt seem to work well. I thought maybe OCD because I cannot stop. Its always going on in my mind. The Adderall helped ya know, but why am I thinking so much? Why do I have so much self doubt. I always had a little, but its getting worse.
?: Could it just be your ADD symptoms getting worse?
2Busy: Maybe, and if thats what it is then great. I just am tired of thinking about everything , and every little detail. I have started to drink alcohol to calm down my brain and make it stop over-analyzing everything I do, say, and think. Its almost like im going crazy with thinking about things that dont matter.
?: I have heard of people going crazy from solitude. They talk to themselves, and start getting a little insane. Maybe you just need to get out more and socialize!
2Busy: I agree, and I still wonder if thats what it is too, but my self doubt is really debilitating. Im afraid to go talk to new people, and that makes it hard to make friends.
?: 2Busy I know you have an appointment with a doctor coming up here, so I will cut this short. Can you keep us updated on your situation?
2Busy: Ofcourse. I will come back and tell you all about my diagnosis from the doctor. Should be in about 2 weeks.
?: Thanks, and I will see you then buddy

OUT.

Hope it was interesting and fun enough for you ADDers to read. I tried to make it interesting enough to keep your eyes moving. Opinions on why this is going on?

I LOVED the way you wrote this! If only all posts were written as interviews!
I was glued to my seat :D

Now I have a question myself - Did you get an official diagnosis of ADD when you got your Adderall? If so, did you get any testing or just one of those "let's see if stimulants help you" dx's?

Hey, I went through gruelling testing from a psych that specializes in ADD to get my diagnosis - can't get much more sure than that, yet I still sometimes doubt too. -
Maybe the doc was wrong?
Maybe there really isn't such a thing as ADD?
Maybe I'm just a twit?
Maybe I'm misdiagnosed?

But then, I always think back to those tests...and how they really found my "broken parts", how one simple task in particular brought me to tears of frustration. I could SEE something was wrong with my brain during those tests. The testing I went through was aimed and really good at poking around in the ADD handicapped parts (and the ADD gifted parts :) ).

If meds work for you - the accuracy of the diagnosis is less important, isn't it?
If there's no such thing as ADD, well there's SOMETHING going on here, and until they come up with the name for it, ADD will do :D

Maybe the doc was wrong?
Maybe there really isn't such a thing as ADD?
Maybe I'm just a twit?
Maybe I'm misdiagnosed?

:DI constantly think those things too:faint:

keep us up to date 2b2t with your Dr appointment

I constantly think those things too:faint:

keep us up to date 2b2t with your Dr appointment

One of the first things I would do if I doubted my diagnosis, is check report cards from my youth to see if teachers saw any ADHD behaviour.

Tracy, your signature gets you past the first hurdle.:)

Tracy would improve by CONCENTRATING in class...COULD BE MORE ATTENTIVE..NEEDS TO SHOW MORE ATTENTION..TRACY WOULD IMPROVE BY CONCENTRATING ON DIRECTIONS AND HER WORK..TRACY LACKS CONCENTRATION..COULD APPLY HERSELF MORE.THE AURAL SECTION WAS RATHER WEAK, ESPECIALLY THE LISTENING TASKS!A GOOD ENTHUSIASTIC STUDENT (ART)

One way of looking at it is; Ask yourself a question; If there is definitely something going on, If it is not ADHD, What is it ??

ME ::D



NEWSFLASH**

ADDer 2Busy2Think has started to doubt that he has ADD! Exclusive Interview Follows! ;

?: Well 2Busy, word has it you are starting to doubt you have ADD!
2Busy: Thats right, but its not for no reason you know...
?: For no reason you say? What does that mean 2Busy, can you elaborate?
2Busy: Well yes, I will. You see, I have never been able to pay attention to anything my whole life. Only things like TV or video games. I thought I had ADD ya know, like anyone would with my symptoms. I even went out and got a prescription for the Adderall!
?: Adderall, thats the new controversial ADD drug right?
2Busy: Thats right. So, after taking this stuff things cleared up. I felt happier even man, it was great. After about 3 weeks though, I felt kinda emotionless...
?: emotionless, what does that mean? did the Adderall cause this?
2Busy: Well, I guess I mean that I didnt want to laugh, or smile, or really feel anything. It was just a kinda neutral feeling ya know. I think the Adderall did cause it because after I lost my job, I couldent get it anymore. I felt more energetic again like before I took the Adderall, but I couldent concentrate. I always felt like I had to much on my mind, but I started realizing i didnt...
?: This sounds good, I think I know what you mean, but will you explain further for out readers?
2Busy: Ofcourse no problem. I guess I started to think I couldent concentrate because of so many things flashing into my mind, like ADD. But lately I have been catching myself really seeking peoples approval. Like looking over in a movie to see if they are laughing before I even laugh.
?: Wow, thats pretty intense. So you feel like you doubt yourself a lot, is that right?
2Busy: Yes, exactly! Its like, I am always wondering what everyone else is thinking. I tell myself I dont care, but its like I am starting to doubt everything I know about myself to be true. Its like, I am over-analyzing every action in my day, every word I say - and asking myself how it sounded. Did I say it right? Did whoever im with think it was funny?
?: So its like a self doubt / low confidence thing. Maybe OCD with the thought-process?
2Busy: My thoughts exactly, at first I thought it was just me being down on myself. Not feeling confident. I dont have a lot of friends, infact I dont have any friends. I find myself doubing myself a lot, and even this positive thinking stuff dosnt seem to work well. I thought maybe OCD because I cannot stop. Its always going on in my mind. The Adderall helped ya know, but why am I thinking so much? Why do I have so much self doubt. I always had a little, but its getting worse.
?: Could it just be your ADD symptoms getting worse?
2Busy: Maybe, and if thats what it is then great. I just am tired of thinking about everything , and every little detail. I have started to drink alcohol to calm down my brain and make it stop over-analyzing everything I do, say, and think. Its almost like im going crazy with thinking about things that dont matter.
?: I have heard of people going crazy from solitude. They talk to themselves, and start getting a little insane. Maybe you just need to get out more and socialize!
2Busy: I agree, and I still wonder if thats what it is too, but my self doubt is really debilitating. Im afraid to go talk to new people, and that makes it hard to make friends.
?: 2Busy I know you have an appointment with a doctor coming up here, so I will cut this short. Can you keep us updated on your situation?
2Busy: Ofcourse. I will come back and tell you all about my diagnosis from the doctor. Should be in about 2 weeks.
?: Thanks, and I will see you then buddy

OUT.

Hope it was interesting and fun enough for you ADDers to read. I tried to make it interesting enough to keep your eyes moving. Opinions on why this is going on?

I dont think you guys understand. The Self Doubt isnt about the ADD- its about everything else in my life.

You know how familiar all those self doubts seem. The reason I kept doubting I had ADD (until I found those childhood reports Scuro refers to that left little doubt) was that I thought saying I had ADD was giving myself an unfair break, when in fact I was just "Messed Up and Lazy". Fortunately, I had my therapist around to ask -- I kept asking, "So now that you "really" know me do you still think it's ADD?" He never wavered.

Some of what you say about that thoughts reminds me of myself. I found some some in Daniel Amen's book Healing ADD. Now while I don't hold with going to get a SPECT scan to see what my brain is up to, what he said about stimulent medication increasing OCD type traits in what he called "Overfocused" ADDers fit me exactly. It was like the meds helped me hyperfocused and obsess on things even better. He recommends something to increase serotonin levels along with stimulent medication for this type of ADDer. That did in fact help me some -- although since I'm female and my levels of dopamine and serotonin vary from day to day, it's a bit complicated. I also talked to my doctor first and got his okay.

Scattered

2busy, I think you just described me too. I feel that exactly that way. It's kind of scaring me a bit...
let me know what you find out.

Scattered - Exactly woman! Thanks for taking the time to make that post, I appreciate you.


Thats why I was doubting I had ADD, because how can I obsess about stuff if I am ADD. But its like I obsess for awhile, and then drop it out of no where. Then later I will pick it back up and start over. I think I will try zoloft - has anyone tried this before? I am really afraid to screw with my brain chemistry because I am always afraid I will make myself retarted or stupid, but well see.

I tried zoloft once before at 50mg starting dosage - and I couldent sleep. I will try 25mgs. Thanks for the help, and if you have any other information to share please do! I think I might have OCD - but I dont have anyone to ask about the symptoms right now. Is OCD thinking to much about things that could happen? I think a lot of my creativity comes from that as well, so im afraid to lose it.

I guess I also feel a little like me claiming I have ADD is taking the cowards way out. Sometimes I think im just so lazy, and i need to overcome it. Its depressing.

It is common for people with ADHD to also have OCD. That's actually one of the reasons why I was in denial about my ADHD for so long. I was dxed with and believed that I had OCD and didn't think it made sense to have OCD and ADHD. Of course, now I know it is possible.


I think of hyperfocusing as being strongly involved in something fun, like hyperfocusing on a TV show, book, or activity.:D

I think of obsessing as consumed by thoughts of something and it is not fun. For example, obsessing about getting all of the items in a collection, thinking about a food. I don't want to be thinking about it...its not fun to think about it...and I can't stop thinking about it.:(

If you think you might have OCD bring it up to your Dr. Also if you feel like Zoloft was helping you and you want to try that again, definitely talk to you Dr.

I guess I also feel a little like me claiming I have ADD is taking the cowards way out. Sometimes I think im just so lazy, and i need to overcome it. Its depressing.same here!!!

i wanna get diagnosed to find out for certain but i'm scared that i go there and it turns out i don't have add, i'm a very moralist person and to find out that i don't have add would just mean that i'm a good for nothing lazy worthless piece of **** that tries to blame his lazyness and stupidity on problems that people have to live with, to me that would just make me lower than low :(

2Busy: Thats right. So, after taking this stuff things cleared up. I felt happier even man, it was great. After about 3 weeks though, I felt kinda emotionless...
?: emotionless, what does that mean? did the Adderall cause this?
2Busy: Well, I guess I mean that I didnt want to laugh, or smile, or really feel anything. It was just a kinda neutral feeling ya know. I think the Adderall did cause it because after I lost my job, I couldent get it anymore. I felt more energetic again like before I took the Adderall, but I couldent concentrate. I always felt like I had to much on my mind, but I started realizing i didnt...


I haven't been taking meds for a little over a month, but will see my doc in a few weeks and discuss this....I actually love the way I "Feel" off meds--I do have tons of energy, but I prefer that to being stoic. And I can't say that I lose all emotions on ritilin, but I def. calm down to a point where I'm not excited about everything--I'm not so easily ammused either.

But the down side is that its a lot harder to work and pay attention at work--so maybe I have to be stoic to be a good worker??? I don't know... guess I'll haev to see when I talk to my doc.

BTW--LOVED your interview format :-)

same here!!!

i wanna get diagnosed to find out for certain but i'm scared that i go there and it turns out i don't have add, i'm a very moralist person and to find out that i don't have add would just mean that i'm a good for nothing lazy worthless piece of **** that tries to blame his lazyness and stupidity on problems that people have to live with, to me that would just make me lower than low :(
When I went to det diagnosed the second time, I was nervous that the Dr. would tell me that my prior diagnosis was wrong and that I didn't really have it. It didn't help that my father doesn't believe in it and ADHD is one of those disorders that is in "degrees" so people usually say "oh, I do that too. You just need to try harder." :mad:

I still don't feel right saying I have ADHD, OCD doesn't feel as weird to me...:eyebrow:

I am glad I got over my fear and just saw a Dr.

Which is worse? Finding out you do, indeed have it and getting help? OR Never finding out for sure and struggling to get by without help?

It's possible you don't have it, dont' know you well enough to say and although I was a psych major, I'm not a Dr. But from what you say about yourself it sounds likely. Even your family thinks so!!! Suck it up and go!!!:soapbox:

(Trying tough love:p )

It was mentioned that ADD and OCD often hang out together in peoples heads. Well - if this is correct would you say that the ADD causes the OCD? Or the other way around? I ask because when I take my medication the constant thinking usually decreases, and I am much more ready to ACT without analyzing as much.

I still do analyze, but not as much. Anyone else experience that?

2Busy: Ofcourse no problem. I guess I started to think I couldent concentrate because of so many things flashing into my mind, like ADD. But lately I have been catching myself really seeking peoples approval. Like looking over in a movie to see if they are laughing before I even laugh.

** AND **

2Busy: My thoughts exactly, at first I thought it was just me being down on myself. Not feeling confident. I dont have a lot of friends, infact I dont have any friends. I find myself doubing myself a lot, and even this positive thinking stuff dosnt seem to work well. I thought maybe OCD because I cannot stop. Its always going on in my mind. The Adderall helped ya know, but why am I thinking so much? Why do I have so much self doubt. I always had a little, but its getting worse.

You seem a lot like myself. I tend to have a lot of self doubt in myself because there is a large difference in how I see myself vs. how others see myself. The obsessive thinking I have comes from attempting to justify the reasoning of both sides of the story.... Looking at every single detail. An anxiety, in a sense, in that one is worried that one's perception of oneself is flawed.

When most of us were young, I'm sure we've endured our more than fair amount of criticism. Many on here are very sensitive to it, including myself. When one is overly sensitive to criticism of any kind, one tends to avoid situations in which criticism may arise, consciously or subconsciously. This may result in becoming totally withdrawn or partially avoidant of people, both which have the same effect, and that effect being the creation of a false perception of oneself in the minds of others. This is something that happens with a lot of time. It's almost as if one is afraid to have social relationships because it undermines this protection mechanism, which is also a mechanism of defeat concurrently.

And at this point, one wonders "how can so many people be so wrong about me?" And perhaps one decides that one's perception is not accurate, and seeks approval from others, however, one comes back to one's own view because the external view seems so illogical. And the predisposed view from others may be "Oh, how the heck can he have ADD? He does this and that so well!" And the falseness here arises in that others only see one's strengths, as one's coping mechanism has hidden the weaknesses from view from all but oneself.

Coincidentally, a psychiatrist is a external entitiy, too, and one is so used to universally applying the predisposed external view that one may fear misunderstanding, even from those who don't really have this falsified view.

I don't know if that describes you, but it seems to describe me. Please remember that most people are ignorant when it comes to mental health, so it is important to look at what you perceive to be real struggles, not simply what little chunks you have exposed to others to see. It is important that you get to the bottom of what is going on, ADHD or not.

Because OCD is an anxiety disorder and life with ADHD can cause anxiety, they can be related. When I was diagnosed (I was dxed with OCD first) I was told that it can be brought on from a stressful situation, so it is my understanding that you are not necessarily born with OCD, but anyone can become OCD for various reasons. We think mine started when I went to college. People can have OCD tendencies as a coping mechanism, but it is only OCD if it significantly, negatively impacts your life. (Just like everyone has ADHD moments, but it's the degree to which it impacts your life and how much control over it you have that gives you a dx.)

My thoughts have calmed down a lot since starting Ritalin. I don't have the racing thoughts like I did and I don't get consumed by thoughts about things I want to do or implulses, such as wanting to eat b/c of boredom, not hunger. Racing mind causing me to take hours to fall asleep...

My consuming thoughts that are related to the OCD are things that I want to stop but cannot, like if there are only a few things on a table and they are not lined up perpendicularly, I cannot deal with it, I have to fix it and cannot think about anything else until it's taken care of. Also, if I accidentally tap one side of my body on something, I have to do that to the other side and cannot think about anything else until I do my compulsion and "fix it." These have not been quieted by the meds.

My OCD is stronger when I am more stressed. Having my life impacted positively from meds (socially, organizationally, emotionally) has helped my OCD calm down a bit, but not directly b/c of the meds. I still have a the OCD, I don't think I will ever be able to have things on a table if they are not perpendicular, but the amount of obsessions and compulsions I have are less.

Does this make sense to you?

Thank you to those who have contributed to this topic. I truly appreciate each and every one of you for offering your honest advice and opinions; it has helped greatly. Because I do not have a lot of friends, forums like this one and the friendly people like you all are very reassuring and helpful. Thank you!

Here is a list of the things that lead me to believe I have the conditions listed:

ADD
Cannot concentrate
Start projects and never finish them
Quickly forget things
Antsy cannot sit still

OCD
Unstoppable thoughts
Anxious a lot
Thinking to much before acting
Lack of confidence
Always anticipating what to say next in a conversation instead of listening
SEE STORY BELOW

Here is something I posted on another forum describing how I feel about 60% of the time. The original post was long, so I will cut it short here;

Touching things with my left hand, and then feeling the need to touch things with my right hand. This is something that really drives me crazy. I am 20 now, but when I was about 8 years old, I had this obsession I couldent stop. Everything had to be "even", it didnt feel right inside me if it wasnt.

Good guy and Bad guy in my head. I was always having imaginary shows going in on my brain with two people. I labeled one the "Good Guy" and one the "Bad Guy". I would play out little scenarios in my brain of what the good and bad guy would do. I remember trying to make the bad guy go away from my brain, but I couldent. I remember trying to concentrate on things, like my homework - and an image would pop into my mind. For example - I would be doing my algebra homework - and I would imagine the good guy and bad guy in my brain. I couldent get them out. I would say stop, and try really hard to imagine them being gone - but it didnt work.

Let me give you a good example. Lets say I am imaging a spinning top. This spinning top is spinning clockwise. This would drive me crazy because its only going one way - it wasnt even. I wanted it to spin the other way. So I imagine it spinning the opposite direction to even it out - BUT I COULDENT. It wouldent spin the way I wanted. It was like I didnt have control over the thought.

Now fast forward 12 years from 8 years old. This has been going on, and over the past 2 years I have been feeling like something is really wrong. I have tried ADD medications - and the only one that helps is Adderall. It calms me down a little for a little while and I feel much more organized. I dont think about things so much, but still a little. Often getting a little buzzed (NOT WHILE ON ADDERALL!) helps calm my brain down, and makes me feel much better.

I will see a tape about improving your attitude by Dr.Habb. Before I ever hear the tape, look all over the internet so I can get his entire collection of CD's Tapes, Books, everything. I dont know why. I over-analyze every situation to the point that its just bad. I have taken control of some of my OCD symptoms, like the touching. Thats no longer a problem at all for me. But lately I cannot concentrate. I think about something so much before I start it - its like I already did it in my head and end up not doing anything.

Another example is this - sometimes I will catch myself picking at my nails with the same hand. Ex. using my middle finger on my right hand to pick at my thumb on the same hand. I pick at the corners of my fingernails, and I do it until it hurts. When I cut my fingernails I get too involved, and I will cut more and more off until they hurt. I will rub my toes together until they are tired - for no reason. I shake my legs no matter what Iam doing - when when on adderall. I buy things out of nowhere, and then regret it badly after. Infact I have dug myself into a financial hole right now - and I dont know what I spent it on.
___________________________________________

I know this is extremely long - and if you dont want to read it then don't. Right now I feel great because I am on Adderall 20mg IR. Sometimes these symptoms arise, and some days I feel great and I have no problems. Now granted I always have trouble concentrating without hundreds of ideas popping into my head, the others come and go.

Sp how can it be a condition if its only some of the time? Somedays I will get up, and a great breakfast, and everything goes just awesome. I feel calm, relaxed and positive. I can easily do what I want. Others, I am suffocated by self-doubt, shyness, and over-analyzing.

So is it OCD, ADD, or both? The Adderall helps great. It feel like instead of just having thoughts all the time - I can access them, use them, think about them, and share them. Normally there just running around rampant in there!

I guess I also feel a little like me claiming I have ADD is taking the cowards way out. Sometimes I think im just so lazy, and i need to overcome it. Its depressing.

If you actually take a look at outcomes for folks with ADHD you would see that that the disorder is not some made up wimpy "new age" excuse but rather a very serious impairment to getting on in life. Read the post titles in here. There is a lot of crash and burn happing right here.

Apparently the two do come together as here are the search engine results I obtained in the brief 0.05 second attention span I had! I am not too sure what would help you so I figured I would let you pick!

google results (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=1&ct=result&cd=1&q=attention+deficit+disorder+and+Obsessive+compuls ive+disorder,+information,+facts++&spell=1)


MSN results (http://search.msn.com/results.aspx?q=site%3Awww.mental-health-matters.com+attention+deficit+disorder+with+obsess ive+compulsive+disorder%2C+together%2C+information&FORM=QBRE3)


One thing does not help increase attention span..........being tired after long car trips!!!

One of the first things I would do if I doubted my diagnosis, is check report cards from my youth to see if teachers saw any ADHD behaviour.

Tracy, your signature gets you past the first hurdle.:)LOL..true..:p