Jett
04-15-06, 09:31 PM
They say it is possible to be both ADD and bipolar.
Well, when I was very little, I had a lot of trouble paying attention and following directions. I was a pretty happy kid and not any more badly behaved than other kids that age, but I daydreamed a lot and was very shy and withdrawn. At one point, my parents even thought I was deaf and took me to be tested.
I was very active and excitable. I would rock or flap my hands when I was excited. To this day I do still do this.
When I was in kindergarten, I had trouble following instructions. The teacher would tell us to sit down and I would stand, and vice versa.
I got through grades 1-4 without too many behavioral problems. At age 11, I entered the fifth grade and things started going downhill very fast. I had a very strict teacher who was very inflexible and I had a lot of the trouble with the work. I would read a chapter in a book and could not comprehend it no matter how hard I tried. It's as if the messages kept getting scrambled in my head ( No, I am not dyslexic). I would get to the questions and I honestly couldn't answer.She was constantly on my case for not finishing assignments.
By fifth grade, I had started puberty and had started getting a weight problem. Also I acted different than the other kids. I was more excitable, distracted, and had a shorter fuse than my class mates. I would get made fun of and teased all the time at school. They would call me names like hyper spaz.
Gym class was bad. I had no coordination and couldn't understand the rules. I always got yelled at by everyone.
Things got so bad I hated school and would play sick almost every morning so I wouldn't have to go. My stomach would be so upset I couldn't eat breakfast.
I had trouble in sixth grade. Finally in seventh grade, I got put in Behavioral disorders classes.
I have always had a short fuse. Most of the time, my anger would be resolved within 10 minutes but I would sometimes have fights with my parents that could last a few hours and leave me completely enraged.
Growing up, I put up with a bit of physical, emotional, and even sexual abuse.As a teenager, I could be very violent but then my mom would get drunk often and be violent.She would hit and kick my dad plus destroy the house. It was pretty scary so I am wondering if it is a behaviorial thing?
I never received proper discipline. I either got away with everything or I got a punch in the face or some other verbal or physical abuse.
I had a brother who was a drug addict and he would call me fat ***, retard, slob, and other things several times a day. He was constantly putting me down for everything. Nothing I did was right.
As a teen things were so bad that I attempted suicide. The problems at home and school were too much plus I didn't have any friends at school due to my temper outbursts and my extreme shyness. Plus I was fat and ugly, too which didn't help and I looked very young for my age ( looked 12 at age 16).
I have done much better since being out of school and own my own. I still have bouts of depression. My anger has improved. I control it a lot better. I got put in jail at age 18 for hitting my mom during an arguement. Before I could beat people up and only get suspension, which meant a vacation from school in my opinion.
As far as mood swings, I may have 4 days in a row that are so so, then 3 semi sh*tty days. Occasionally I will have a day that I am feeling so overwhelmed, lonely and empty I have so much trouble coping. My really depressed, dark moods almost always happen on week ends or around holidays.
I don't have any friends and I am on SSI. I have had a lot of stress in my life. My parents have been seperated and my mom has been taking it hard. Plus she has been recently diagnosed as a diabetic and was near death 3 years ago from chronic bronchitis. My mom has been in the mental hospital twice and has gotten into trouble with reckless driving for running into my dad's girlfriend van. There has been staggering medical bills as well. Plus my mom medicates herself with food. I worry about her a lot.
Well enough rambling.
Do you think I could be bipolar?
Well, when I was very little, I had a lot of trouble paying attention and following directions. I was a pretty happy kid and not any more badly behaved than other kids that age, but I daydreamed a lot and was very shy and withdrawn. At one point, my parents even thought I was deaf and took me to be tested.
I was very active and excitable. I would rock or flap my hands when I was excited. To this day I do still do this.
When I was in kindergarten, I had trouble following instructions. The teacher would tell us to sit down and I would stand, and vice versa.
I got through grades 1-4 without too many behavioral problems. At age 11, I entered the fifth grade and things started going downhill very fast. I had a very strict teacher who was very inflexible and I had a lot of the trouble with the work. I would read a chapter in a book and could not comprehend it no matter how hard I tried. It's as if the messages kept getting scrambled in my head ( No, I am not dyslexic). I would get to the questions and I honestly couldn't answer.She was constantly on my case for not finishing assignments.
By fifth grade, I had started puberty and had started getting a weight problem. Also I acted different than the other kids. I was more excitable, distracted, and had a shorter fuse than my class mates. I would get made fun of and teased all the time at school. They would call me names like hyper spaz.
Gym class was bad. I had no coordination and couldn't understand the rules. I always got yelled at by everyone.
Things got so bad I hated school and would play sick almost every morning so I wouldn't have to go. My stomach would be so upset I couldn't eat breakfast.
I had trouble in sixth grade. Finally in seventh grade, I got put in Behavioral disorders classes.
I have always had a short fuse. Most of the time, my anger would be resolved within 10 minutes but I would sometimes have fights with my parents that could last a few hours and leave me completely enraged.
Growing up, I put up with a bit of physical, emotional, and even sexual abuse.As a teenager, I could be very violent but then my mom would get drunk often and be violent.She would hit and kick my dad plus destroy the house. It was pretty scary so I am wondering if it is a behaviorial thing?
I never received proper discipline. I either got away with everything or I got a punch in the face or some other verbal or physical abuse.
I had a brother who was a drug addict and he would call me fat ***, retard, slob, and other things several times a day. He was constantly putting me down for everything. Nothing I did was right.
As a teen things were so bad that I attempted suicide. The problems at home and school were too much plus I didn't have any friends at school due to my temper outbursts and my extreme shyness. Plus I was fat and ugly, too which didn't help and I looked very young for my age ( looked 12 at age 16).
I have done much better since being out of school and own my own. I still have bouts of depression. My anger has improved. I control it a lot better. I got put in jail at age 18 for hitting my mom during an arguement. Before I could beat people up and only get suspension, which meant a vacation from school in my opinion.
As far as mood swings, I may have 4 days in a row that are so so, then 3 semi sh*tty days. Occasionally I will have a day that I am feeling so overwhelmed, lonely and empty I have so much trouble coping. My really depressed, dark moods almost always happen on week ends or around holidays.
I don't have any friends and I am on SSI. I have had a lot of stress in my life. My parents have been seperated and my mom has been taking it hard. Plus she has been recently diagnosed as a diabetic and was near death 3 years ago from chronic bronchitis. My mom has been in the mental hospital twice and has gotten into trouble with reckless driving for running into my dad's girlfriend van. There has been staggering medical bills as well. Plus my mom medicates herself with food. I worry about her a lot.
Well enough rambling.
Do you think I could be bipolar?