i felt a lot like this lately...
His vision, from the constantly passing bars,
has grown so weary that it cannot hold
anything else. It seems to him there are
a thousand bars, and behind the bars, no world.

As he paces in cramped circles, over and over,
the movement of his powerful soft strides
is like a ritual dance around a center
in which a mighty will stands paralyzed.

Only at times, the curtain of the pupils
lifts, quietly. An image enters in,
rushes down through the tense, arrested muscles,
plunges into the heart and is gone.

(rilke-the panther)

for some reason I always been able to see the hope behind any disapointment, if I gave up my freedom for a second was just to gain more...

i know i was wild and i avoided people...i wanted love, iwanted to be tamed...


but i became caged....

I am sorry, I'm a bit confused by your post. What are you asking?

i know i was wild and i avoided people...i wanted love, iwanted to be tamed...

but i became caged....
this line strikes me........for me it means:

I wanted to be accepted for who I am (was).
But I gave up on myself and instead became what others wanted me to be in order to get that love and acceptance
I became caged. BUT.....

Did others cage me?
Did I allow myself to be caged?
Did I cage myself?:(

I do not know how to express it...

I guess I should explain a little, maybe?
When i met my husband my life wasn't perfect, but I was feeling good about myself...
I had a master degree in Philosophy-it was not worth a lot in my country, it ain't worth nothing here.I had a career -I was working for a congrees woman and she started to become found of me and help me to build a carer 9not as a politician, but more as a onsultant and researcher)...I had acomplished a lot for my son-in spite of my limitations, he country's lack of ad/hd specialist and special ed classes...

I was not exactly free to do what I wanted -I had limitations, I had responsabilitties-but I was able to accept them and see my choices...

All I wanted was a complete family, with a man, with a husband... And so I met my husband. I was reluctant about living in another culture -I had to work hard to be able to understand (internalize) my own culture and its social rules...to make friends, to keep friends, to like people, to like to communicate to people, to empathise and communicate with people...

But then my aunt came to visit-she was living in US- and describe it as the country of opportunities...
My husband was supportive and promised to help me build even more for myself....

I was naive abut America, I was naive abut my husband, I was naive abut marriage-I have no excuse...

Icame here-my husband was getting older and wanted a child-he was childlees.So I postponed career and study to accomplish his dream. 9it was my dream two to have a second child, but I would of wait)...Instead of a child,there came two....

And now here I am, 3 years later...
with the responsibilities of a mother and wife

as a houskeeper-and there is nothing i resent more or find more hard to do ...(and he claims to be a neat freak, but won't pick up after himself)
in charge of appointments, structure, routine -my husband does not remeber his own days off...
unable to drive
unable to make friends-(my add, cultural differences, both?).
no familly
with a worthless degree and work experience...
with no money to pay for household help-like I used too (took of lot of weight off my shoulders when I hired a lady to come for 4 hours a week), no money to continue my study...
overwhelmed, hopless, it seems I have no exit from this situation...
Like the panther in the cage...
Did you ever felt like that? There is a way out?

tristan,
I allowed to be caged, I think...

I was hoping to be tamed

it is a difference...when you love someone you "tame" him - you spend time with him, learn his needs, his wishes, his hopes, his fears, get him used with your presence, get to know and understand him...(do you know the story of the fox in the little prince?)And then he'll want to be with you, it will be a free choice to stay here...

I was wild and hard to "tame" -I admit(I would not let people to get close to me)...but still in need of human love and understanding...But I was hoping for someone hard headead and patient enough to bear with me...


Instead I ended up in one of this actual marriages- where you threw your partner in a cage so he won't live....

His vision, from the constantly passing bars,
has grown so weary that it cannot hold
anything else. It seems to him there are
a thousand bars, and behind the bars, no world.

Barrier between him and the society……he dreams of how he can become apart of but…………..feels unaccepted

As he paces in cramped circles, over and over,
the movement of his powerful soft strides
is like a ritual dance around a center
in which a mighty will stands paralyzed.

Not enough room to move around…feels trapped by what is in his heart and what is expected…… wants to run but can not will not suffocation………..

Only at times, the curtain of the pupils
lifts, quietly. An image enters in,
rushes down through the tense, arrested muscles,
plunges into the heart and is gone.

Allows himself to dream only for a moment then the dream disappears and goes back into his heart……he keeps it alive inside but grows weary and wants so bad to release that spark that lies deep with in…….. a spark that will not die…but must be contained with in!

(rilke-the panther)

Like a beautiful wild animal only accepted in a cage

for some reason I always been able to see the hope behind any disappointment, if I gave up my freedom for a second was just to gain more...

More hope…………more love……………….more acceptance……but wouldn’t giving up “the spark” be like becoming dead?

i know i was wild and i avoided people...i wanted love, wanted to be tamed...

Tamed or simply “connected” to another……… to share……..to be a part of…………..


but i became caged....

Trapped can't see how to escape! All the doors closed!

Rebellion deep with in wanting so much to be you in the open unrestrained by social expectations…………being one with the surroundings…………some one must understand is there any one any where out there like me?? Am I the only one who sees, feels, and understands……………doesn’t any one else have this spark deep with in?

sey ereht era serhto!

tristan,
I allowed to be caged, I think...

I was hoping to be tamed

it is a difference...when you love someone you "tame" him - you spend time with him, learn his needs, his wishes, his hopes, his fears, get him used with your presence, get to know and understand him...(do you know the story of the fox in the little prince?)And then he'll want to be with you, it will be a free choice to stay here...

I was wild and hard to "tame" -I admit(I would not let people to get close to me)...but still in need of human love and understanding...But I was hoping for someone hard headead and patient enough to bear with me...


Instead I ended up in one of this actual marriages- where you threw your partner in a cage so he won't live....
Your words make so much sense. Yes, I have felt caged. But I think in many ways I caged myself. So long ago when I wanted to be accepted, just by my own family. I caged myself into being who they needed/wanted me to be and became very good at figuring out what they expected of me.

What you describe in "taming", I guess I wanted with my family-patient enough to work with me instead of breaking me down. My husband is much better at "taming" me and seeing who I actually am. This has taken a lot of time and communication. That was part of my way out of being caged by him.

What I find now is that on the outside, I appear free-on the inside, I'm still in my cage.

Did you ever felt like that? There is a way out?

Finding support is a good step in finding a way out. I hope you have found some of that support here.

I think we are all caged into roles from the moment we are born. Human society is set up in such a way that we cannot (or should not) just walk away from our "tribe" when we tire of it, feel frustrated by it, long for something new.
We step into our child-role cage when we're around our parents. We step into our parent-role cage when we're around our children. We step into our spouse-cage when we're around our significant other, our student-cage around teachers, our employee-cage around bosses.
We're not allowed to just kick up our heels and run fast and far to greener or unknown pasture, like all the other animals can do.
We have to restrain ourselves. Contain ourselves. Refrain ourselves.

You were doing what you liked and were happy. Now you're doing what you don't like and your unhappy. You want to run and begin again. Have a different life. Shed all your cages.
I feel like that every day.
It's a matter, perhaps, of not wanting your identity to be Their Mom, His Wife, Their Daughter, That Company's Employee anymore - but just wanting to be YOU. Simply, purely you. To find you again. The you that got lost amongst all those other identities. The you that loves to live.

But...
That's not something we can do (or really want to either). Yet the yearning remains.

It's a matter, perhaps, of not wanting your identity to be Their Mom, His Wife, Their Daughter, That Company's Employee anymore - but just wanting to be YOU. Simply, purely you. To find you again. The you that got lost amongst all those other identities. The you that loves to live.

But...
That's not something we can do (or really want to either). Yet the yearning remains.


Nice......well written!

I think we are all caged into roles from the moment we are born. Human society is set up in such a way that we cannot (or should not) just walk away from our "tribe" when we tire of it, feel frustrated by it, long for something new.
.that is so unfair...:eek: I wish we could walk away from our families sometimes...and not feel bad...families are not always what they are cut out, or meant to be...sometimes friends make much better families...I can tell my best friend things I could never tell my family...she knows me better than anyone..my family is a bit too judgemental for my liking:o

Oh Tracy, there are SO MANY TIMES I think, "I don't want to be a mom anymore!!!".
Who the hell knew it would be such a long commitment? :p
If a band of gypsies came to my door...it would be AWFULLY hard to resist..

But then, when I'm away from my kids, I'm so lonely for them!
Then, when they're underfoot, I want to get away from them!

http://www.dougiethompson.com/images/nicholas-cage-small.jpgi don't appreciate you throwing such terms around. you say "caged," as if it's a bad thing.

I know why the caged bird sings

A free bird leaps on the back of the wind
and floats downstream till the current ends
and dips his wing in the orange suns rays
and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage
can seldom see through his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.

Maya Angelou

Thank you all for your answers...Today I feel better only seeing hands trying to reach me...

It's a matter, perhaps, of not wanting your identity to be Their Mom, His Wife, Their Daughter, That Company's Employee anymore - but just wanting to be YOU. Simply, purely you. To find you again. The you that got lost amongst all those other identities. The you that loves to live.

But...
That's not something we can do (or really want to either). Yet the yearning remains.

I think it is something we can do. I just don't see how to do it any longer...(and there are so many circumstances involved in ths situation...)...


Being a mom should not be only a limit. It should be also a motivation to accomplish yourself as a human being- because the best education you give your children is by whom and what you are... If you are succesfull you teach them succes, if let yourself to bedefeated you teach them to bend their knees...
(Honestly my first son helped me evolve, accomplish-he tamed me. There are a lot of things I learned about me and for me grace to him (Including the fact I have ADD)

Being a wife should not be only a limit . Your husband is supposed to be your partner, the one that helps you find yourself, motivate yourself...He should be a friend too...

Your job should be something you like to do...

I know that is in an "better" world- but I see people that did it- not many. So it is possible...

hyperion
yes, I do need support. The support I had thru the presence of my friends I lost moving here...I need somone to show me the "light at the end of tunnel"...

chameleon
I thought that moving back to my old country will solve at least part of the problem.But my husband and my little children are both US, and I could not live without them...(not as whole prerson anyway)...
Runing away is not a solution...

tracy
would not be great if you could feel as confortable with outr familis as we feel with our friends?

ms sunshine
thank you for the poem

Anamari...I was a caged bird. I learned that I had the power to set myself free. I learned the only cage that could hold me was of my own making. It has taken me years, but I am now free. :) I wish for you a future of soaring to whatever heights your heart desires.

Anamari - I was in no way suggesting you should leave your husband and kids! Quite the opposite!
The answer lies in finding ways to take short flights within your cage. Through hobbies, sports, creative outlets. I wish you luck.

Thanks chameleon,

I know you did not imply that...
I was just trying to say that I feel sometimes the same thing (like running away with the gipsies, and i think i'll blend quite well within them)...

well, i guess i'm not always that good of expressing exactly what i think...

I WAS GAGED BY PEPOLES IGRANCE AN LACK OFVE UNDERSTANDING THE GAGE AN CHINES ARE ONLY AS POERFULL AS WE LET THEM BE WE HAVE A INER STREEAGH THAT THEY CARENT BREAK NO MATTER HOW HARD THEY TRY IAM SO GLADE THAT I CAME TO THIS UNDERSTANDING SOMETIMES I SLIP BACK BUT EACH SMALL STEP FORWADES BREINGS YOU CLOSER TO YOUR DEAMS AN FREEDOMS AN THE JOPYS THAT WE ALL WISHS WE COULD AN CAN HAVE IF ONLY WE BELIVE IN OURSELFS FAITH IN YOUR SELF GETS YOU THOUGH,,,AN THE FAITH OFVE OTHERS CAN MAKE MIRCALS HAPPEN....I KNOW COS I HAVE SUCH A PERSON IN MY LIFE WHO HAS FAITH IN ME AN LIKES ME FOR WHO IAM WHAT MORE CAN YOU ASK FOR IN THIS LIFE DORM

Wow amazing.. I was just sitting here thinking about this exact thing..

Today its really bad for me. I feel who I really am is trapped in myself and I can't get out..

Its like there's a smaller version of me inside just screaming and yelling to get free, but it can't.

Can you do something just for your mini you Nivek? Something you might normally feel is selfish that you like to do?

Ahh yeah I can ...

To give you the visual.. Its like a mini-me screaming inside holding my guitar wishing that was the only thing he could do and been seen for, but I'm trapped in an existance of trying to fit into society's mold of what I need to do by having a job, working hard, and conforming to something so - stale.

I don't necessarily have a problem doing it, in fact, I frequently fall asleep playing guitar (its the only way that can totally calm me down too).

Its like the end of the first Matrix right as Neo took a dive into Agent Smith.. Except, Neo is stuck inside of Agent Smith...

Ah yes. Living the life you must instead of the life you want.
So you can still dip into the life you want, but only for short bursts, and you want to be able to earn a living at it so you don't have to waste valuable playing time at an unrelated job.
So what would it take for you to get the life you want?

That's a good question... Honestly, I think it would take a bit of studying, networking, and then going out and performing..

I really think the thing I need to build first out of anything, now that I really think about it, is probably a strong support system or network to keep me motivated.

Its so easy to get really discouraged when things aren't clicking right away or working out the way I want them or see them. Its just so frustrating everything being so intense sometimes..

I know how you feel Nivek.
May I suggest you try making a list of the steps you'll need to take to get where you want to be?
Just that act alone can ease a lot of the frustration - knowing you have a plan. And while you're hacking away at the list, even first step, you'll feel better I think. You'll know you're on your way and heading in the right direction! :)

That's true. I think I'm already doing a lot of things in that direction.. making lists will help a lot.

I did go out and buy journals to start keeping lists and write in more frequently, but I bought them! Have used them a couple times..

...hmmm.. I think I need to make a schedule and follow the schedule on my time because I frequently am distracted off what I need to do.

Sounds like you're on your way Nivek! Congrats :)

yep i know how things or rather the feeling of being caged . ahhhgh
must say feel that i feel that a bit lately the anxiext building up during an evening and the knowing that you gonna have to go through another day of crap .
in about eight hours time . i love my little ones to bits really do. but i just cant cope bear, whatever the fights swearing battles all day long during the easter holidays in fact in truth this has been goin on for over a decade now and if this was a sodding job id have resigned long long ago. Absolutely nothing works with them and ya know i feel that im just waiting to die really and ya know its an ok feeling . in a way i accept that feeling but at times id really like to or wish to have a boringly quiet set of book worms for kids ones who dont argue all ythe time. and the thing is none of the extended family understand . All the blame is on me . it is a cage i do it cause its my kids but more often than not its a bloooooooody chore . in fact im about to start a rocking motion and head bang joke ! sorry just a bad day to quote daniel powter

oh, jess...

try to take a walk and go away for a while...

I'm not looking forward at future arguments either...for noe they are two little for that-or to big of an age difference...

Sounds like you're on your way Nivek! Congrats :)
Thanks Chameleon!