I just answered a post that gave me an idea…..

I hear so much about feelings of failure when it comes to keeping house….(as well as many other things addressed in the other sections)


Many feel they are failures………..this is common to many folks with ADD….



Maybe because we have ADD some things have failed to be addressed that would increase our chances of finding success!

Do I have any ones attention yet…who doesn’t want to be success in their own eyes?


Things that stand in our way are little stuff like………………

If you feel like a failure what is your specific definition of success?
(if you feel you are success what were some of the major contributing factors)

Where does your definitions of success come from?…….
(Pictures in magazines, other people, internal desires)

What or who is being used as a measuring stick?
(Your mom best friend, girl scout troop leader picture perfect house ect…)


Who determines weather or not we are successful?
(Husbands, visiting mother, mother in laws, self………)


If we never know specifically what we define as success how can we possibly become successful!

Asking where you ideas of good housekeeping comes from may reveal weather or not your goals are realistically obtainable!

Acknowledging who is defining our success and exactly what we use to measure our selves may also give us insight into our feelings of depression or satisfaction!

This is interesting and thoght provoking, Tammy!

I would say that I got my ideas of good housekeeping from my parents, and they are no neatfreaks, but they manage to keep the house look good and the dishes are done every night or the day after. Neither I or my boyfriend could keep up with that, but we would like to have no mouldy old dishes! We've been doing pretty good in that regard lately.

When I moved from home to live by myself for the first time I was sure that I would manage my household; do the dishes every day, etc. I had worked as an au-pair earlier so I knew I was capable of those things. I just thought that I was not as good at it as my parents, who would do household chores more easily than I could, I thougt that having my own household I wouldn't have to "compete" with them, wouldn't have to try to keep up with their pace. I thought I would be alright.

Did I get an eye opener?!

When I was little we went to visit my uncle who lived far away from us. His flat was very messy, there were empty food packages lying around, and I thought to myself "How strange!" -- Well, my flat (or at least my kitchen) looked like his! I left food packages lying around cause I just left them where it was most convenient and forgot about them, I had mouldy dishes. I had never seen that in my life before.

It was around that time that I really started to look into the possibility of me having ADHD.

Happy-with your job and your social/family life. That is it. How many people are unhappy with there jobs???Way to many!!

Happy-with your job and your social/family life. That is it. How many people are unhappy with there jobs???Way to many!!

Not a bad thought and I have a copy of this thread saved as I thought about modifying it for the general ADD area as “our” definition is more important than most of us think....

In house keeping which is what this particular area is devoted to I read a lot about people who feel like failures. I got to wondering about why?

Some women I know compare themselves to those pictures in magazines where the home is immaculate..... it is almost impossible to keep a home immaculate with five small children, even if you do not work out side the home.

I got my house keeping ideas probably from my Mom who wanted neat and not filthy but immaculate was not an expectation.....she called it “lived in” look…. .. so when house keeping “perfection” didn't happen for me I wasn't surprised!

I believe house keeping success is when I can walk from one room to the other without having to step over stuff. My trash is in the can and not on the floor, I am not ashamed to have unexpected company... not do I become embarrassed when people knock on my door! I do not have new life forms in my kitchen sink and the frig is clear of all scientific experiments at least weekly (day before trash man day)

When thing like the animal furred carpet bother me I "fix it" by vacuum! If the cob webs get on my nerves I suck them up in the vacuum or get them down with a broom. If my feet stick to a spot on the floor I clean the spot if I loose my slipper due to the stickiness I mop! It is that simple.. I have an OCD friend who's kitchen floor rivals some surgical suites. I watch her she spends a lot of time scrubbing instead of enjoying life but hey it's her life she can do with as she pleases .. as can I and my idea of life is not spending it sterilizing my kitchen floors!

In my OCD friends eyes I may be a failure but it isn’t my job to live up to her idea of clean any more than it is her job to live up to my idea of fun!