View Full Version : I Have Poor Social Skills- Need help


Jett
05-07-06, 05:24 PM
Well I just went into the chatroom and couldn't follow all the conversations. I also get stuck a lot too and don't know what to say to people. I never know when it is my turn to talk and I am always putting my foot in my mouth. Please I get my feelings hurt easily. I really wish it wasn't so bad. For awhile I was on my anti depressant regularly but went off of it. Today is the fifth day in a row since I have taken it and I am sure it hasn't gotten into my system. But I had been feeling better, though before everyone in chat turns on me and starts laughing at me. I will not tell you who they are.

I always get rejected and left out a lot. I don't know how to read people and always miss out on cues. I get so depressed when I am criticized and rejected. I have been crying for the past hour and a half. I haven't been thinking straight. I had been having crazy thoughts about ending it all but know that is just my depression and hurt feelings talking. I really don't want to do anything stupid. I know the hurt will go away.

I just am not around people much. I am on SSI all my adult life, live in a small town, and have only had a car for a year and a half. As a kid and teen, I was painfully shy and a big target for bullies. I would retaliate and make things worse. I just remember crying a lot when I get home. Sometimes I would have a melt down in class and be extremely embarrassed and ashamed afterwards.

Is there anybody who knows how I feel? I really could use a lift right now. I feek as if nobody cares about me right now and it hurts so bad that I can barely stand it. I just hope I feel better soon. After I write this I will call the crisis number my counselor gave me.

sloppitty-sue
05-07-06, 06:05 PM
Oh Jett - I am SO SORRY that you are feeling so hurt!! I can tell you that I DEFINITELY understand where you are at, and I have been there PLENTY of times too. (Whoa, did your post bring back memories.)

One really weird thing that actually HELPED me some is that when I was in my late teens/early 20's and on my own I had a drug and alchohol habit, and I began "looking for love in all the wrong places." Well, somehow I made it to 25-years-of-age without becoming pregnant. When I DID get pregnant, my life changed so dramatically . . . I became an entirely different person.

I was finally determined or blessed or ???? enough to finally stop the drugs and drink. I also became very courageous and a fierce defender of my life and my baby. (I had also been involved in a few different religions in the past, so having an abortion was never considered an option for me back then.) I also became so frantically BUSY being a single mom that all of the other concerns I had about people not caring about me, etc. didn't have time to enter my mind that often. My MAIN obsession was figuring out how to get enough sleep.

Now please don't think I'm recommeding becoming pregnant in order to treat one's depression. Uh-uh. I've got NEW problems now. But I DO know very well the feelings you are talking about.

Now I don't use the chat feature, I've tried chatting many, many years ago (maybe 7?) and I don't really care for it. It's very difficult to understand what is going on, and I always feel like an outsider too. I think that's the nature of this tool. Please don't take it to heart. . . I think only certain people can enjoy the internet "chatting" - and good for them - but really, you're not missing all that much. It's difficult to get into a worthwhile conversation when you're new, I would think. I mean you don't even really KNOW these people, so don't let it get you down. PLEASE!!! :-)

Also, you sound EXTREMELY intelligent and articulate and aware. I'm pretty fussy myself, and you sound like a fine and interesting person. Perhaps it wasn't you. . .

Again, Jett, I'm so sorry to hear about your sadness and hurting. Please know that there are people who DO care, sometimes it is just a little difficult to find them. And if you don't feel improvement in another 10 days or so - talk to your Lexapro provider or some other/better doctor who'll help you find the medication that WILL help. (Sometimes those antidepressants won't work that well if you stop them and THEN go back on. But that doesn't mean that NOTHING will help.)

Please let us know how you're doing.

Love,
Sue

fasttalkingmom
05-07-06, 06:32 PM
((hugs))) Jett. I was chatting with you a long time just last night, I very much enjoyed chatting with you.

I do know what your saying, I'm not as bad now but I've always had my feelings hurt much more easily than the next person.

I also know that when I stopped my meds. I had an awful time for awhile with feeling very down and very sensitive.

Jett
05-07-06, 06:46 PM
Thanks, guys. I guess I am not as inept as I thought I was. My self esteem isn't the best in the world and I always figure things are my fault.

What they were talking about didn't make any sense and there was nothing to really say. They were talking about some guy I don't even know!

I told them I am new at this and be patient, they just basically ignored me.

chameleon
05-07-06, 07:39 PM
I'm assuming it's me and my cohorts you're referring to.

Didn't mean to make you feel ignored. You came in during a very personal conversation and we said hi to you and asked you how you're doing, and waited for your reply, but we didn't stop our convo.
On the internet, you'll run into this a lot where ever you go online.
You're new here, that's why you didn't know the person in the topic of conversation.
Give it time.
You just CAN'T take things like that personally on the internet.
You're always welcome in chat jett :)
We've enjoyed talking to you there before.

Jett
05-07-06, 08:51 PM
I forgive you all. I was wrong to jump to conclusions.

fasttalkingmom
05-08-06, 10:36 AM
I forgive you all. I was wrong to jump to conclusions.


it's ok ( patting Jett on back) I'll bet we've all done that at sometime ;)

Not me of course..... :D ......... Oh no never me... ;)

mccoffee
05-09-06, 07:00 AM
Well I just went into the chatroom and couldn't follow all the conversations. I also get stuck a lot too and don't know what to say to people. I never know when it is my turn to talk and I am always putting my foot in my mouth. Please I get my feelings hurt easily. I really wish it wasn't so bad. For awhile I was on my anti depressant regularly but went off of it. Today is the fifth day in a row since I have taken it and I am sure it hasn't gotten into my system. But I had been feeling better, though before everyone in chat turns on me and starts laughing at me. I will not tell you who they are.

I always get rejected and left out a lot. I don't know how to read people and always miss out on cues. I get so depressed when I am criticized and rejected. I have been crying for the past hour and a half. I haven't been thinking straight. I had been having crazy thoughts about ending it all but know that is just my depression and hurt feelings talking. I really don't want to do anything stupid. I know the hurt will go away.

I just am not around people much. I am on SSI all my adult life, live in a small town, and have only had a car for a year and a half. As a kid and teen, I was painfully shy and a big target for bullies. I would retaliate and make things worse. I just remember crying a lot when I get home. Sometimes I would have a melt down in class and be extremely embarrassed and ashamed afterwards.

Is there anybody who knows how I feel? I really could use a lift right now. I feek as if nobody cares about me right now and it hurts so bad that I can barely stand it. I just hope I feel better soon. After I write this I will call the crisis number my counselor gave me.
Yeah I know what you mean I'm about to start going to support groups for depression just to go out meet people to get out of my own head. Since I had alot heart ache with people the past few months part of me is like why bother to get close with people when it's just doomed to fail from the start. Great attiude I have I know, when I do try to meet new people I get lost in my head like you do alot of mixed emotions. Just trying to converse is a good step if you end up withdrawling then you will defently get more stuck in ur head the only way to get you out is by drilling holes in your head to let the object making those thoughts leave. Not a fun expirence.


Just gradually get over the fear of talking to people slowy start by saying hi to people at random. If you volunteer, or goto support groups shake everyones had and introduce your self.

~boots~
05-09-06, 09:10 AM
it's ok ( patting Jett on back) I'll bet we've all done that at sometime ;)

Not me of course..... :D ......... Oh no never me... ;)me either :D

Jett, I know how you feel..don't take it personally, even though it may feel like it..:faint:

I know I am hopeless at keeping on track, I was lucky to do your email survey thingy today! LOL...:D ..(I nearly, oh so nearly gave up half way!!):p :p

Crazy~Feet
05-09-06, 10:51 AM
I can relate to this, at least at this point in time Jett, although I have not worked up my nerve to go to the chatroom. I lurked for ages as a guest before I worked up the nerve to register :o.
And it does sting some days. In my past internet interactions I have always been so witty and amusing and always a bright spot "Oh well, she's here now, let the party begin!!" and a person people looked to for a rational and balanced answer (yes ME, LOL).
Now I am in the position of learning something new, a true "noob", but I believe it will get better, for both of us :) as people get to know us and we get to know them.
PM me anytime, OK?
Thanks, guys. I guess I am not as inept as I thought I was. My self esteem isn't the best in the world and I always figure things are my fault.

What they were talking about didn't make any sense and there was nothing to really say. They were talking about some guy I don't even know!

I told them I am new at this and be patient, they just basically ignored me.

Foot-in-mouth
06-28-06, 03:46 PM
Oh Jett - I am SO SORRY that you are feeling so hurt!! I can tell you that I DEFINITELY understand where you are at, and I have been there PLENTY of times too. (Whoa, did your post bring back memories.)

One really weird thing that actually HELPED me some is that when I was in my late teens/early 20's and on my own I had a drug and alchohol habit, and I began "looking for love in all the wrong places." Well, somehow I made it to 25-years-of-age without becoming pregnant. When I DID get pregnant, my life changed so dramatically . . . I became an entirely different person.

I was finally determined or blessed or ???? enough to finally stop the drugs and drink. I also became very courageous and a fierce defender of my life and my baby. (I had also been involved in a few different religions in the past, so having an abortion was never considered an option for me back then.) I also became so frantically BUSY being a single mom that all of the other concerns I had about people not caring about me, etc. didn't have time to enter my mind that often. My MAIN obsession was figuring out how to get enough sleep.

Now please don't think I'm recommeding becoming pregnant in order to treat one's depression. Uh-uh. I've got NEW problems now. But I DO know very well the feelings you are talking about.

Now I don't use the chat feature, I've tried chatting many, many years ago (maybe 7?) and I don't really care for it. It's very difficult to understand what is going on, and I always feel like an outsider too. I think that's the nature of this tool. Please don't take it to heart. . . I think only certain people can enjoy the internet "chatting" - and good for them - but really, you're not missing all that much. It's difficult to get into a worthwhile conversation when you're new, I would think. I mean you don't even really KNOW these people, so don't let it get you down. PLEASE!!! :-)

Also, you sound EXTREMELY intelligent and articulate and aware. I'm pretty fussy myself, and you sound like a fine and interesting person. Perhaps it wasn't you. . .

Again, Jett, I'm so sorry to hear about your sadness and hurting. Please know that there are people who DO care, sometimes it is just a little difficult to find them. And if you don't feel improvement in another 10 days or so - talk to your Lexapro provider or some other/better doctor who'll help you find the medication that WILL help. (Sometimes those antidepressants won't work that well if you stop them and THEN go back on. But that doesn't mean that NOTHING will help.)

Please let us know how you're doing.

Love,
Sue
If I didnt know better, I would have thought that I posted this. No worries, your not alone ;) I feel ya 100%. My ADD has made me a social outcast my whole life and I take Zoloft to help me deal with the fallout. Just look at my name... yeah big hug. Hang tough, the internet can be harder than real life too.