03-12-03, 02:01 PM
I'm new to this forum and hoping for some advice. My 9 year old son has ADD/Type II (inattentive). He's on Dexedrine and has done fairly well until recently. His IQ is above 140 so he's more than capable. But we're beginning to see grades fall as a direct result of work not being completed &/or turned in. We've purchased a special notebook for him to put all his work in as he completes it and then he is to check that notebook at the beginning of every school day to turn in whatever he's collected. That's helped some. The biggest issue is keeping up with work in class. Any strategies that you've found to be helpful? Any positive reinforcement that have worked for you? I welcome any ideas! I feel like he has so much potential and it's getting lost.
Just realized that you never got any responses to your post.
First, How is your son doing in school today? Has the notebook idea taken hold? How is he doing in class in the new year?
09-29-03, 05:43 PM
i have the complete solution for you, but you or others may not like it.
He is plenty bright, he probably does what he CAN. There is a great book out, "The Myth of Laziness."
it is a great apology for what comes next, though he doesn't endorse what I'm about to say as strongly as I'm about to say it:
Do what works.
In business, you do what you're good at and you hire (or deligate) the rest.
he doesn't turn things in. Make that not his job. You don't ask your dentist to fix your car or the CARx man to drill your teeth. Get real.
Nothing you can do will make unrealistic expectations more real. Demand that a cow fly and many things may happen, but one will not. the cow will not fly. And just because you can throw it through the air, and take a movie of it to prove it did it once, does not make that cow reliably fly.
So give up the hopeless and feed the abilities!
understand that ADHD is not an issue of ability but capability. And even then it is a reliability issue.
He doesn't, likely, NEVER turn in his work. Rather he too frequently doesn't turn in his work on time. So? If he had bad eyes you'd get him glasses, bad legs you'd get him braces, if he just couldn't make a good "th" sound, you'd love him like he is and not bug him about what he just flat out can't do.
refocus on what he can do, and get a clue.
ADHD is frequently described as a condition of cuelessness rather than cluelessness. Provide the cues he needs, and without prejudice or ranker. Will he embrass this? NO!
He is a kid. But he needs it. See what he demonstrates a need for and simply supply it.
It may be a developmental delay if some theories go forward. He may be 30 or 40 or 50 before he is "able" to do some of these things "alone, by himself, for himself." So? Deal withit instead of fighting it.
really, if he could just decide to be normal, he would... well there is a side discussion about that... but you get the point. if he could just decide to ACT normal reliably, he would certainly do so when it was important. He can't.