View Full Version : Parents


livinginchaos
05-19-06, 09:46 PM
My parents have been very supportive of me in just about everything I do. When I was diagnosed as ADHD they encouraged me to learn about it and to deal with it (by learning better coping skills).

While it seemed like they were supportive, they didn't want to talk about my being ADHD or how it affects my life. When I brought it up, my dad would lecture me on making sure to not use ADHD as an excuse and to keep working hard (at school and coping skills). My mom listened to me when I needed an ear, but I think she just didn't know how to help me.

I was diagnosed with ADHD I was in college, so I already had a lot of coping skills and mechanisms in place to deal with being ADHD and how to, so I didn't necessarily need my parents help, although I would have really appreciated it.

But, I wish they understood what I go through on a daily basis.

How are your parents with you being ADHD?

Paws13
05-26-06, 04:42 PM
Mom was the one who thought of diagnosing me for ADD (for seven or so years, but my teachers said she shouldn't bother.). Figures I did have it, because if I didn't, I wouldn't be here now :p

And then we broke the news to dad... my sister a year before my diagnosis (which was May 7th) was diagnosed very depressive. I suppose that kind've brought dad down, but when he read my evaluation sheet, he kept asking me, "Why did you say this?" "How could you tell her these things?" "Weren't you embaressed?!".

And even now, I want to talk to him about ADD, but he doesn't want to hear it. Plus whenever I bring up the subject, he just says over and over "Nobody needs to know you have ADD. It's your secret". I don't mind telling people I have ADD (I'm not saying tell the world, but you know, my close friends and close relatives). Dad wants me to be like him, and he's just very touchy and kept-to-himself. But the thing is, I'm not.

My point: my Dad probably doesn't realize I have ADD, since he won't be quiet about the fact that "you have no obstacles" and "ADD is no big deal; it does NOT affect your life". Mom's better about it, but she still doesn't understand why I don't hand in my homework, forget things, etc. That's why I'm glad I found these forums :)

sehrita
05-26-06, 04:50 PM
My family is really quite wonderful with me and my ADD. If it weren't for them I have no idea who I would be today. I was given tough love along with wonderful support and encouragement. They never allowed me to use ADD as an excuse and would push me to be the best that I can be.

I feel very blessed to have the family that I do have.

Aizlyne
06-25-06, 11:02 PM
My parents are slowly becoming more supportive. It's VERY slow though. It's been hard. They are trying t understand it.

minn306
06-26-06, 10:51 AM
I am actually very sad by the reaction that I had gotten from my mom when I told her that I had been dx as ADD. She simply said "I do not know how you could have gotten THAT". I am not able to talk to her about anything related to my husband, kids or myself being AD/HD because she thinks it is some kind of disease of something
I look back at alot of things and I know for a fact that both my parents have AD/HD, no doubt about it.

It is just really sad to me that I am not able to share a big part of my life with my own mother

dormammau2008
06-26-06, 05:28 PM
iam sorry to hear that min your mum short sightness dose not help you when you need a mum to fall back on all i can say is you have a family here who will allways do what they can to be there 4 you an each other your life is our life as is the other way around you can depand on us here i know it canrt repalce your mum but its something there others ways that might be helpfull is to get as much info witch iam shore you have an send it two her laysing out how add adhd works whys were fors etc you remind me ofve my mother an how she dont understand me it hurts just the same but i take comfert from others here an from freinds like you min<<;.))) from what you say there both have it maybe there dery it cos there pick up there there share it as well so a bit endaction will help...............>> yours dorm

~boots~
06-29-06, 12:15 AM
I haven't even told my parents...that should tell you enough!! LOL:p

I won't even bother...it won't be worth it I don't think...I managed for so long with so many strategies, it's just nice to be able to relax and understand myself:D

dormammau2008
07-01-06, 07:02 AM
i woundert wont to tell mine she made my life hell just with this deyrxa thing .. i dont need anymore THERE THERE YOU CARNT DO IT COS YOUR LAZY THIIING so i not say ithere better to cope with strategies an an do best to understand your self dorm

~boots~
07-01-06, 08:10 AM
good idea Dorm...as long as we are happy with ourselves..which I think we are!!! Or, at least, we are getting there

~boots~
07-01-06, 08:11 AM
Dorm..do you have a journal? I am too lazy to go looking right now :-)

dormammau2008
07-01-06, 07:21 PM
no not yet do there have one here then tracy???? do you have one??? an thanks for kind thoughs x dorm

~boots~
07-02-06, 06:10 AM
I started one, LOL..but that was as far as it got. I was going to write about the effect of the new medication!! say no more :-)

dormammau2008
07-02-06, 11:47 AM
lol writeing not my strong point so ive not gone that far yet but iam working on it hows things with you and i taake it you have kids ofve your own?? dorm

boone1
07-02-06, 11:59 AM
My mum is extremely supportive, she made my school go through hell and back to get them to help me, they finally reffered me and now Im diagnosed with ADHD combined. Now the school are very helpful too, but nothing would have been done without the help of my mum.

My dad however is only just coming to terms with it. He found out that his friend has a son with asperger syndrome and now he is slowly accepting that I have ADHD.

dormammau2008
07-02-06, 06:52 PM
wished my mum was like yours then boon1 ........>><<;.)) glade all went well 4 you dorm

~boots~
07-04-06, 11:14 PM
Boone, you are really lucky to have such a supportive Mum :-) I can see your dad will come to accept your ADD soon..

boone1
07-05-06, 02:58 PM
wished my mum was like yours then boon1 ........>><<;.)) glade all went well 4 you dorm
Boone, you are really lucky to have such a supportive Mum :-) I can see your dad will come to accept your ADD soon..
yeh I guess I am lucky :D If it wasnt for her I would be in such a mess right now. (More of a mess then I already am :p )

Crazy~Feet
07-05-06, 06:10 PM
Treading in the Teen Area again :o but this thread keeps drawing my eye..."Parents"...I have 2 and I am one so....


My parents are divorced (they divorced when I was in my 30's and probably should have done it a LOT sooner!) so I approached them seperately. Dad is a geek so he got an email. His response was um, interesting? He did claim that "ADD was not an issue" when I was growing up :eyebrow: then admitted that he had always been an extremely hyperactive child, had a short attention span and still does to this day. He is non-judgemental but really asks no questions, I presume because I am grown and do not need to rely on him for support like I did when I was a child. He said he is not interested in exploring ADD at the moment but probably would when he retired.

Mom got a phone call and man, I remember now why I never call this woman ...told her the kid and I got DXed and her response was "Well, they say that tends to go right along with high intelligence..." :eyebrow:. Then launched into some story about her life, something trivial, sheesh....:rolleyes:.

As a parent I do all I can to support my childrens' processes in life but I am by no means perfect. I do try and would never do harm if I can help. It saddens me to know parents my age still act like crudballs to children with ADD :(.

Hey, I have anger-management issues! Y'all just send the crummy parents my way and I'll beat a little sense into them huh? J/K of course but really...I am truly underwhelmed that people my age can still be so dense.

sehrita
07-05-06, 06:55 PM
I feel so sad that so many parents were so unsupportive. I just don't understand how they can be like that.

My family figured it out before I was even diagnosed with ADD at the age of 5. They just knew something was different. My mom in 1981 took me to a psychiatrist who specialized in ADD. She has always been there for me and so has the rest of my family. Of course they also taught me to never use it as an excuse and to always work hard.

dormammau2008
07-21-06, 07:39 PM
hey seth some perents just dont see it and dont care its just to much for them just to stop an take time over child or teens older kids etc be nice if it was other way around few have it better but most dont dorm

Claudia_0102
11-20-06, 11:46 PM
My parents are pretty supportive. It's just my older brother that doesn't really show interest and makes jokes about it.

brittalitt
04-16-07, 09:56 PM
Well, if it wasn't for my mom I still wouldn't be diagnosed. My dad has ADHD too and he's addicted to video games so we don't talk much but he's actually the one who found this website and i've been using it all the time. My mom basically doesn't know what to do, she freaks out about my medication when i don't take it ((because it doesn't work and i forget to take it)) but other than that i'm kinda on my own with the whole ADHD thing. Luckily my bestfriend has ADHD so we vent on eachother :]