Hi. This is my first post here. Last week my son was diagnosed with ADD and was prescribed Ritalin. I am realieved that we finally know the answer after 3 years of having problems in school. I am not 100% sure about the Ritalin thing, but I have accepted it and more than willing to give it a try. I find, though, when telling family and friends about my son, that I am defending the Ritalin..because everyone seems to have a bad opinion about it. My son is the 2nd or maybe 3rd child who is medicated for this same reason in his class. This is only the second day of medication and I expect to hear from the teacher through a letter later today...after all, I need her opinion on whether I need to administer the second dose at noon time( my son is currently taking 10 mgs in the morning and if I (or the teacher)feel that he needs more to get thorough the afternoon, I will start giving it to him). But my main question is, I am sure I am not the only parent who is putting up with BS attitude because my son is on Ritalin...any ideas on how to handle it??? Thanks to everyone who replies.

Hi. This is my first post here. Last week my son was diagnosed with ADD and was prescribed Ritalin. I am realieved that we finally know the answer after 3 years of having problems in school. I am not 100% sure about the Ritalin thing, but I have accepted it and more than willing to give it a try. I find, though, when telling family and friends about my son, that I am defending the Ritalin..because everyone seems to have a bad opinion about it. My son is the 2nd or maybe 3rd child who is medicated for this same reason in his class. This is only the second day of medication and I expect to hear from the teacher through a letter later today...after all, I need her opinion on whether I need to administer the second dose at noon time( my son is currently taking 10 mgs in the morning and if I (or the teacher)feel that he needs more to get thorough the afternoon, I will start giving it to him). But my main question is, I am sure I am not the only parent who is putting up with BS attitude because my son is on Ritalin...any ideas on how to handle it??? Thanks to everyone who replies.
Welcome and I am glad you finally got some answers to what has been happening over the past 3 years. :D

Give the medication a couple weeks to really start measuring the results. I just don't understand why people have such a bad attitude about stimulants. :mad: They are not the ones taking the medication. It's not affecting them. So why does it even matter? As long as the person taking the medication is seeing results, then that is the most important thing.

I don't have the need to tell someone that has high blood pressure or diabetes to stop taking their medication and just change their diet.

Thanks for posting and welcome.

You are just better off not telling anyone because for some reason everyone thinks it is their business and they are usually ignorant. When my teen started his concerta, his father came to me complaining that he thought the medicine was making him into a zombie. And that his friends that he takes the kids jet skiing with had noticed it too and had given him their opinion. I told him that it was a stimulant and it would make him hyper if he didnt have adhd. He didn't even understand what the medicine was - the man is an idiot.

I then spoke to my son about what his father said and he started laughing. Turned out that he doesn't bother to take his medicine on weekends when he is with his dad. That is just his personality that they think is a zombie. :D

I just spent the weekend on a houseboat with my sister and brother and their kids. My son with ADHD is on a strict diet of no wheat, no dairy and no dye especially (red 40). The red 40 is for strictly ADHD purposes his hyperactivity intensifies by 95% if he has red 40. Well my sister does not agree with my son being on medication or having a restricted diet and she gave him fruit snacks with red dye in it behind my back. The poor kid got yelled at the entire day for not being able to control himself. I do not tell anyone unless they ask. If they ask I watch their reaction to see how much info they can handle. Usually the only people who are interested in gaining knowledge rather than passing judgement is other moms who are in the beginning stage of the same process.

Thanks to everyone who replied. They all made me feel a lot better. It just that it's been less than a week and i am tired of defending Ritalin already. Even the Pharmacist asked me all kinds of questions about how we came to this conclusion, what other possibilites could it be...he had me standing there 20 minutes...again, me defending my child for having ADD. In hindsight, I should have told him it was none of his business, just fill the prescription. As it turns out, he did have Ritalin, but it had expired(since he said, we live in a rural area and there isn't a lot of need for it in the area). So, the medication was to arrive Monday by noon and of course it wasn't. So, I took the prescription and went to another Pharmacy and got it filled without any attitude from the Pharmacist and will continue to go there since it is only his job to fill it and not give me the third degree about my and the Pediatrician's decision. I realized from reading a reply to my post that I should wait for a couple of weeks to see the full affect of the Ritalin...thanks, I didn't know that.

My seven year old just started concerta and I am having trouble giving it a couple of weeks. I'm an old hand at this medication stuff too. It is just harder with younger children.

I have an asthmatic child that had to swallow pills from the age of three. Occasionally he would have to be on a steriod to get him through a bad spell. I hate it when kids have to take pills. I wish they could just be kids without all that mess.

There are really three options:

One is to simply reply "An arm of the National Institutes of Health conducted the largest study ever done on the subject, and found that this was the best possible treatment option. Go argue with them."

Another might simply e to say "oh, I didn't realize you had a medical degree. normally I would never overrule my son's doctor just because some random person told me to, but I suppose if you've had 7 years of schooling and completed your residency, I'd be happy to listen to your advice."

If you want to be a smartass, you can just say "you need to stop smoking Tom Cruise's stash."

Finally, you can just go with "This is what his doctor recommended, and it does seem to be helping him." If you want to be really snotty, you can always add "lemme give you my doctor's name, he might be able to help with your (or your husand's) ED/incontinence/STDs."

I've found that pepole don't know what to say when I tell them I have add. Disbelif is usualy the look I get. What? Like I don't sit in the middle of the floor and stare at the ceiling ever half hour you would have never guessed. Pepole are usualy impressed by me working on 3 projects and give you six ways to prepare that pork loin at the same time. Comes from being all over the board my entire life.

Guess I'm trying what I'm trying to say is, it's not a disablity. It's a wonderfull gift as far as I'm concerned.

My opinion: get long-acting Ritalin, tell no one, ever again, your son is ADHD.

People are uninformed and dense most of the time. Don't worry about what they think, they don't do it very often.

Thanks for everyone's replies for me too. We just started meds today -- most people at her school have been very supportive (administrator, principal, teacher), but people in my personal life certainly haven't been. I have stopped talking about it and also stopped surfing the internet for info. Way too much out there to make me feel bad and question myself when I know that what we are doing is what is best for her.

Hope your son is doing well and keep posting.

Thanks for everyone's replies for me too. We just started meds today -- most people at her school have been very supportive (administrator, principal, teacher), but people in my personal life certainly haven't been. I have stopped talking about it and also stopped surfing the internet for info. Way too much out there to make me feel bad and question myself when I know that what we are doing is what is best for her.

Hope your son is doing well and keep posting.If you go to the google home page and click on the word MORE (http://www.google.com/intl/en/options/) and it will open a page with tons of options. Go down and click on SCHOLAR (http://scholar.google.com/)
then on that page put in adhd or attention deficit or whatever along those lines in the search box and you will get information that is published scientifically and not the stuff that will pull you ever which way guilt-wise. It will also arm you with some information. At the very least you could print out the tons of research and smack them on the head with it.

Ooh, that is handy. Thanks for that BoardBlitz. I never knew that was there.

Thank you, I feel like I actually did something today now. lol:o

You discover all kinds of things on the net when you don't want to be bothered with going to campus to do your research project.

also, for those who haven't checked it out, here's the National Institute of Mental Health's page on ADHD:

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/healthinformation/adhdmenu.cfm

They have a wealth of scientific information, and much of it is intended for parents of children who have been diagnosed, so you don't feel like you need to grab a medical dictionary every five minutes. These are your tax dollars at work, and I must say that HHS does an excellent job, definitely one of the more competent government organizations out there.

Thanks to everyone who replied. They all made me feel a lot better. It just that it's been less than a week and i am tired of defending Ritalin already.
I totally feel this line, Nadinest - only a week, and I'm tired of defending it already! Yeah, back when I was first considering - and researching - the idea that I have ADHD myself, I was shocked at the level of ignorance and hostility that surrounds this diagnosis. (Especially the meds, but anything ADHD-related in general gets smeared, too.) Even really well-meaning people in my life were telling me things like, "Wow, but you're not going to take medication, are you?! Don't do that, they wreck your brain!" I got tired of being told all the crazy diets and herbal remedies I could try instead.

Other disorders have louder current "backlashes," but the negativity around the ADHD diagnosis and the meds is so entrenched that people who have virtually no opinion on any other psychiatric diagnosis will casually spout off about how "obvious" it is that it's overdiagnosed, or that kids just need to be smacked, and the medication is "dangerous" and on and on....

I hate it, hate the judgment of the worth of ADHD people, hate the d*mning of good parents with ADHD children. It's unfair. You are right to feel angry and tired of defending it, because you shouldn't HAVE to defend it this much. People are not checking the facts for themselves. They are the lazy ones, not you, and not your son. (Because you'll probably get the accusations, direct or indirect, that your kid is "just lazy" or that you are a "lazy" parent, if you haven't already.)

And at first, I personally just felt impotent and frustrated by it all because I didn't know enough about it to come back with much. That was the worst part, because I think dealing with this diagnosis in the beginning is enough of an emotional yo-yo on it's own; you're already doubting yourself (and I'm sure that applies to parents as well) - what else could I try? What might I have done wrong? And other people are adding to the load with their "helpful" advice.

(Well! Sometimes, you just might need to tell people, "I'm sorry, but I've already thought about this, and you really aren't helping, even if you mean to.")

So, what to do. Well, personally, I hyperfocused on the disorder itself anyway, and researched it like mad. Like others here, I would recommend to other people that they read the best scientific info out there, and arm themselves with the FACTS. That's so vital, because you can't respond to nonsense with vaguely correct understanding...mythology is best beaten down with cold, hard science. Then people have to find better science to beat yours to still come out the "winner," and there IS no better science that says that the diagnosis is false, or that the meds are super-dangerous and a bad treatment. You are already in the winning corner, Nadinest!

But.

But when you have the facts in your head, what do you do with them...people have suggested going on the offensive, but you may not be that sort of person, and you may not want to draw attention to your son if you anger people. And you may just not want to spend that much time and energy arguing with people.

I take (personally, and since this is just myself I'm concerned with, it may be different than what a parent would do) different approaches depending on my level of contact with people.

I tend to respond - on the internet - to any mythology about ADHD by posting blunt-but-calm refutations of the nonsense people say about ADHD, providing links where necessary. (I stick pretty much to the basics; I'm not going to try and argue science above my head.) It can be frustrating, but I really, truly want to get some real information out there. And on message boards, I have less need to safeguard future relationships, but a stake in that whatever is said about me has a written record.

That is less true of offline life, however, and in offline life, it's too easy to get overemotional in an argument. I stick to the basics again, don't get too drawn in, and mostly keep it to myself. When I need to, I'll just shrug and change the subject, and say things like, "Well, the meds are working, and I haven't had any problems. How was your weekend, by the way?"

That's what I also recommend - for your sanity! - is besides being informed, pick your battles,and only fight the ones in real life that matter. If you don't make a big fuss, people will be less likely to start fighting. It's odd, but if you're passionate on a position, people will argue with you more than if you're more "whatever" about it. I think people feel challenged by a more solid opinion that is different from their own; if you are more casual, they feel like they can just DISCUSS with you about it, not argue. That is a plus for you, because they will be calmer and more open when you tell them what's what.

Basically, people will take the cue from YOU on how to handle the discussion. Every conversation and argument has a "rhythm," and you can control it somewhat.

Getting the right information out there is good, but you want to balance that with how draining it can be to feel like all the ignorance in your social world lies on your shoulders to correct. It doesn't.

Okay, good luck!

/long-winded

Thanks sooo much Bean Delphiki!!! You have been so much help. I read your reply twice and what you said is all true. I am going to take your advice and be very vague when I can. It's very hard, when my biggest opposition so far has been my mother-in-law. lol Ironic how she has been diagnosed wioth depressin and on;y goes to the counsellor when she wants to and if she doesn't agree with medication, she simply stops taking it!!! I know, I know - this is hardly the person to be listening to. Anyway, thanks again, I enjoyed reading your reply.

I'm always amazed that people feel so free to put in their 2cents when it comes to medication for your child, or even yourself. If they had diabetes would they still feel free to debate with us over whether to give medication, or restrict a diet? I doubt it.

What always makes me laugh is what people alternatives are. Okay, so I stop giving medicine, what SHOULD I do to help him? Most people think I should just spank him:faint: . "If he got enough of a hard hand, he'd learn":eyebrow: Hmmm:confused: . So lets forget about medication, that for 70 years has shown to be safe and effective, and lets just smack him every time he does something he can't help, oh yeah, your opinion is valuable to me:rolleyes: . I guess my point is, consider the source:D . Most people react out of ignorance, literally. They just don't know enough, so it's frightening to them. They have heard horror stories from their neighbor, their friend who has a friend, who has a child, who has a friend that had horrible things happen, lol.

I've come to the point that I don't discuss my AD/HD, or my sons, or our treatment with hardly anyone. It's just not up for discussion or debate. We both have competent medical teams, and are in great hands. Anything that needs to be discussed or debated, will be between us and our doctors. If someone wants to "learn" about AD/HD and medication, then I am happy to share with them, but beyond that, it's not open for debate. I won't defend it because I don't have to. Their opinion won't change what treatment course we take. I feel the more that I defend, the more people feel they have the right to interject their opinion. When I shut it down as not open, people tend to leave it alone. I do share with a few people, like teachers, as I feel I do need their opinion a great deal on how my son is doing.

Anyway, that's my take on it:p . I agree, give the meds a week (unless he's hating it) before deciding. Meds tend to level out after about a week and you get a better idea on where you are at with them.

Hang in there!

I agree. Never tell anyone about your son's ADD or his medication. That information should be your business, your son's business and the teacher/principal's business. Comments from anyone else should be met with a firm "We don't talk about it. Leave it alone."

No one in my family but my wife and mother-in-law knows about my ADD. I simply don't trust people nowadays. The level of ignorance is astounding. My ADD is my gift and no one needs to know about it.