View Full Version : I need teenaged advice

older adder
06-07-06, 12:44 PM
I've read your posts and you all sound that you've accepted your ADD, and yourselves. My 16 year daughter hasn't and I don't know how to help her anymore. I probabably have over pampered her to make up for her ADD and LDs and for the fact she is so different from her non-LD brother and sister. She doesn't seem to have any close friends. I had her switch schools to one that was smaller and more accepting of ADD last September because I knew there would be lots of kids like her. She is now an honor student, so I don't think kids avoid her anymore cause she's "dumb" like they called her before. The kids in elementary school called her fat, but now, due to a huge growth spurt, I've had stranger come up to me and tell me how beautiful my daughter is, so I don't think kids avoid her cuz they don't "want to catch ugly germs from her". I don't know if she acts weird. She can't stand the fact that she is shy, and has a hard time making conversation, so I think she overcompensates by babbling, or being self-rightous. I can't tell her anything because it destroys any sort of confidence she is starting to develop, and she starts to cry. She, of course doesn't know I'm writing this-What do you think I should? Have you guys ever felt left out and lonely- What did you do?

06-07-06, 10:36 PM
I've felt left out and lonely as a teenager. I was 17 when I felt that way, I'm now a happy 28 year old :) My main issues were depression and friends.

I can suggest a couple things. First, stop pampering her. She knows she is different, she has to deal with it 24/7 and special treatment perhaps only reminds her of that. Not pampering will, hopefully, help her hold herself accountable and realize how much being ADHD and LD affects her life and, as a result, want to help herself.

Second, I suggest getting her to a counselor/therapist. She might need someone to talk with who is unbiased and will help her deal with the issues in her life. There may be more going on that she doesn't want to tell you about and a therapist/counselor is a person she can confide in and someone who will guide her.
The counselor/therapist will be able to help her w/ her confidence.

You sound like a loving, caring, supportive mother. Just like mine!

Best wishes to you and your daughter!


06-11-06, 06:34 PM
yes the best wishs to your daughtyer i was an still longer but you do what you have two she might feel that no one understands her ...ask her how she feels an what she like from her life???? dorm>> good luck two you an daughter

06-17-06, 03:15 AM
yes the best wishs to your daughtyer i was an still longer but you do what you have two she might feel that no one understands her ...ask her how she feels an what she like from her life???? dorm>> good luck two you an daughter :D :D from me too...good luck..and try to stop pampering quite so much:p

06-17-06, 07:50 PM
pmging is all well good but there times just do your best m8 dorm

06-19-06, 10:55 PM
C if your daughter wants to get on the fourms here. I would tell her should could come up with an alias so u dont know who she is. Like we all ahve said, these forums have done so much good or all of us, why not shar the weath!

06-24-06, 01:45 PM
*Laughs* Accepted ADD? Not me! Your daughter is definitly not alone.

I had problems like she did in elementry school; but keep in mind that I wasn't diagnosed with ADD yet. I was very sensitive in elementry school, I was skinny as a toothpick (in my school, this was a bad thing!), and on top of it all, I had ADD. Those things still affected me into jr. high and even in early high school. My mom didn't (and doesn't) know how to help me out with my ADD.

Do you and your daughter go to counseling or such? Counseling is VERY beneficial, even if you really don't get anywhere at first. It does help later on. Also, it sounds like your daughter may have slight anxiety. I'm sure as heck NOT going to say put your daughter on meds for anxiety, but again, counseling might help.

I hope your daughter does better with ADD in the future :)

12-06-07, 12:23 AM
Try finding something that she enjoys.Girlscouts has helped me so much (of course i started when i was 6 and st arting now might not be best if she does not know anyone) Theorpy would help although i have never gone except when i was like 8 one if the best things you can do is treat her "normal" or as normal as you can she knows that she has add and she know you know.and you say that she is smart then I am sure she knows ugh ! sorry l ost my train of thought ! just treat her as you would with your other kids and address her diffrentes as they are needed

01-02-08, 09:48 AM
i think u shud try n prsuade her 2 join these forums coz then she cud tlk 2 other ppl like herself. hope u 2 are aall good and good luck! x x

01-02-08, 01:58 PM
I'm not a teen, but I'd also recommend that you get her to join these forums, or at least lurk and read some of the posts. It may not seem like a big deal, but it makes a huge difference when you find out that there are other people who do the same weird things as you.

I found out about my ADD at 26. By that time, I had just assumed I was crazy and wasn't like anyone else. I couldn't really talk about any of the ADD-related problems I was having because then everyone would know I was so weird.

Then I found a forum similar to this where everyone had the same issues and questions. It was so nice to have a place where I could post my goofy ADD moments and get a laugh instead of criticism. It has actually helped me deal with life among the "normals" because I know I always have a place to go vent at the end of the day.

Edit: Oh yeah, and you should try to accentuate the positive aspects of ADD as much as possible. It's not all negative, but it sure seems like it in school.

Remind your daughter that she doesn't have to sit in a classroom with a boring teacher and judgmental peers forever. At 16, she's almost past the worst of it. That's how I got through school - I treated it like a jail sentence that would be over in a couple of years. Sounds awful, but I hated every boring minute of school.

Knowing that it will end soon and then she can go live her own life may help ward off some of the usual feelings of hopelessness and depression. Teens get so stuck in the moment that it can seem like things will never get better. After high school, there's lots of ADD-friendly things she can do - not every job requires a cubicle. :)