In the last month I have lost three dear friends, not from death but from them not wanting me as a friend anymore. I really loved talking to them and listening to what was going on. But because I'm so poor on the phone and the same with email, I think I drove them away. One I was actually interested in meeting some day. But I haven't heard from them in over a month. I sent emails and quick messages, nothing. I really wish I knew what I did wrong. Does anyone else get this feeling when email friends stop writing?
Thanks. Hugs would be appriciated ;)

Well here's a hug from me (((((Kassie)))))))....and darnit....if those people can't/don't appreciate your friendship and everything you have to offer -- well then forget them.....Why give them that much power and use up so much energy which could be put to use seeking out other friendships? I know easier said than done.....

My guess is their decisions to stop the writing connections is more about THEM....who knows? Could be THEIR fear of intimacy, connection, etc. Perhaps they just didn't have the time....But chances are it has nothing to do with YOU.....

"Poor" on the phone? I doubt that you are that.....

I have trouble focusing when on the phone. My eyes distract me. I have actually closed them to talk to people, like my parents so I don't upset them when I drift off.

Thanks for the hug, I worry so much some times.

Hang in there Keppig, people have different communication styles... some times you are meant to have friends other than the ones you think you want.

I know it's painful in the meantime.

But we'll be your friends too ya know :D

Paul, I will always call you and Joan friends :)

Kassie don't just assume that you drove them away or that you did anything wrong. There are so many reason that people stop communicating or have a lapses in communication.

Thanks Tara
Its a hard thing to convince me of.

Kassie, I agree with everyone that posted. I have many friends and I'm really bad at keeping in touch with them. The friends I have understand I care about them and know this is how I am. They'll let me have it if I've stayed out of touch for to long.

I have also lost a bunch of friends who drifted off and where hurt. I also have had times were people drifted off and when I asked if I insulted them I found it had nothing to do with me at all !


Try not to be to hard on your self about this....

Paula

Well this week was a surprise. One of my friend, broke his silence and told me he's still my friend but he still has stuff he's working on and that he was ok. The other friend I called, in a last ditch try in contacting him, he's very ill and didn't even know what day it was. He also said he's till my friend and will contact me when he feels better. Thank you all for your well wishes :)

I'm glads to hear it worked out well :)

well kassie

I talk too much on the phone and its the same for me

People just get rapped up in there own lives and time tends to cause thinghs to drift apart

we are allways here for you and in time you will find the right one

Even though I have "problems" with the book, What does everyone Else Know that I don't know" probably addresses that tension of yours from several angles.

It isn't "always" about you. Sometimes it is about you. How can you know which? i still don't know.

I've lost two close friends in the last year for both the same reasons you described as well as my stubbornness in the resulting conflicts. I became so absorbed in my work/co-workers that I basically never saw them (both were roommates and our schedules were essentially mirror opposites) for an entire month and that blew up into a huge conflict that resulted in some incredibly insulting things being said, many relating to my 'lack of direction' 'laziness' and 'being a slob' - some things that maybe a lot of ADDers have been attacked for in the past.

I wish I could offer advice, but I unfortunately don't have a happy ending to my story that I could draw a lesson from. Well, maybe I shouldn't speak so soon. Since the incident I've grown much closer to friends who know my quirks and behaviors and even value me for them, so I guess there's something to be said for unfortunate losses of friendship showing you who your real friends are. My closest friends today are the ones whose highlight of the week is my inevitable phonecall out of the blue where I say 'hey, sitting around is driving me nuts, let's go somewhere new and do something crazy.'

This person is still my friend but were nowhere near as close as we once were. Me & this girl were so close for the past couple years, we were even talking about meeting soon. & back then she seemed real excited about that. Then sometime in March I told her how i really felt & that i wanted to start a Long Distance Relationship(she lives in Kansas & i live in Chicago). A few days later, she just backed away & came up with one of the most weird reasons for doing that, that's a different story alltogether lol. It's christian related & it's confusing because we were both christians. But me, i'm sitting here hurt because she led me on to believe something was going to happen between us & then "stomped all over my heart" so to speak. It's obvious that she has ADHD, just based on the little things she & her sister would tell me. But that didn't matter...i think i have ADD myself & the last thing i would do is judge anybody, because i know what it's like to be misjudged & misunderstood. To this day i wonder what went wrong? I mean did i do something wrong, or was she so afraid of this being a failure that she backed away? i don't know. She says "it has nothing to do with you". All I know is that i really liked her.

Now we hardly talk, she continues to back away, even if i jokingly mention "when are we going to meet? what's wrong with 2 friends wanting to be together". The weird part about that is she'll go out of her way to see friends, even if she has to travel. But with me she'll always laugh & change the subject, causing her to forget...or she'll just say "i'm not ready for that". I've always treated her right, at least i think so. Why Me?? Things never work out for me :(

Suupa,
I know you have heard what I am about to say many times, but I will say it anyway. Do not be to down about things not working out. I did not have my 1st serious relationship until I was 26 and did not get married until I was 36. You seem like you have a lot going for you. I failed miserably on the dating scene until I met the 1st girl I had a serious relationship with. Ironicaly it was my ADD characteristics that got us together and broke us apart. I did not know I had ADD at the time.

I would reccomend not mentioning her meeting you anymore. She know how you feel. Pushing her is probably going to make her uncomfortable. Sometimes backing off for a while helps the person know they really do like you. My .02
Good luck and hang in there

thanks for the advice. I'm just 19 going on 20 so i guess there's nothing to worry about right now. I'm sure the right person will come along one day

I have to admit I kinda get the "I want a relationship" bug more often than not. You see, I had a man/woman in my life since I was in 1st grade. And untill 4 years ago, I never was without a SO. Now for the first time I don't see a person even remotely who would like a relationship... and its scary. I was spoiled. I admit it.
Being almost 40, you would think I would know better ;)