I was in Special ED classes from 5th grade till I graduated High School. To this day I have the affects from it. I read a post on this site under: CO-EXISTING CONDITIONS. You will find if is you go there and Andi posted it. I have problems with reading, from then to now I am slow at reading and get frustrated and want to get mad, I have a social phobia (I was made fun of and yelled at by many for verius reasons), spelling is heard, I am somewhat slow at things but fast at others, anxiety (I have also have had alot of stress and other things happen to me in my life), panic attacks, there are so many but it was hard on me. I could not pay attention my mind would wonder, think about other things and I didn't understand the directions, I just wouldn't comprehend. I didn't want to go to school cause of the kids making fun of me, "You retard, dum, stupid, and so on." I thought that I was and never andvanced. Well that is I think made me how I am today. I wish I got the help and support I need then. I have been out of school for 14 yrs now and I am 33 yrs old. And another thing is I failed 2nd grade. My daughter is about to fail and may wall fail 2nd grade. I want to get the help for her so she don't go throw what I did. Thanks for you time.

Josiekat, I saw you are a Special Education teacher. I would like to now your apinion on my situation. I was in Special ED classes from 5th grade till I graduated. I am 33 now and still having affects from it. It was hell in school. Sorry to say that but it is true. Why didn't I get anymore help? Can I make it up now for me? Or am I just Retarted and can't comprehend much? I am not made I am frustrated at the fast that I feel dum and stupid. Well if you can please give me you appinion, it would be great. Thanks

I'm also a Special Education teacher, and like you failed a grade.

I'd guess that a lot of your problems could have been the outcomes of an LD and ADHD. Now a days kids don't have to be in special classes, and they typically don't have to fail. It takes someone with a bit of knowledge to get a good IEP, and the proper help that your child needs. Even so, a fair bit of support is needed at home too.

I'd start by talking with the folks at school. Have they identified her problems yet? The next question is, will failing her solve those problems? If the answer is no, there is little point in failing her.

Hello! First and foremost, you are not stupid and you need to stop feeling that way. Unfortunately we can't correct what went wrong with your schooling, but you can work from where you are now. Things are worlds better now for students with special needs than they were when you and I were in school. :-) In NY we have VESCID which provides special education and vocational services for adults. You should look in your area for such an organization. Either county offices or your local high school should be good places to start. As for your daughter, I agree with scuro that you need to keep an open line of communication with her school.Has she been tested for ADHD or any learning disabilities? I would request those forst and once you have the outcome, go from there. Remember, the best thing you can do for her is be there! Take it one day at a time and write anytime!

Scuro, thank you for your reply. Now please don't judge me but I made a promise to my kids dad that I would not take them away from them. I am a women of my word. Well untill this past year things were going good. Her dad says that nothing is wrong with her and she will grow out of it. Look at me. The school has her in a reading class and summer school. I agree with you that failing her won't do good. I am going to the school durning the summer to chat with her summer school teacher and then when school starts I will go and chat with the counceler and ask them if what they know about ADD/ADHD and Learning Disabilities. Do they know enough about them. I am going to get my kids back cause this is not right. She will never learn and advance with her dad. I think the school doesn't want to talk with him cause of the way he is. He can be a jerk. Well I am not going to get into that but he is not a good man. He would call me stupid, dum and it is all in your head. It's not going to happen with my daughter. I have been batteling depression nearly all my life and all that I have listed above. I am on Welbutrin XL and xanax. I have not taken xanax today and the panic attacts,anxiety, and my head jerking slitly to the side is starting. I don't want to be on meds but I just I do. Well thank you for your reply and I am going to chat with the school wheather he likes it or not. He may have told them I don't care and he will be SOOO ****ED that I talked to the school but this is my daughter.

Hey Bamboo -- no judgments here. We just want to support you and help you find what works best for you and your daughter. You'll get any number of suggestions -- some will fit well for you some won't. Take what works for your situation and leave the rest.

Part of taking care of your daughter is taking care of yourself. I have ADHD and anxiety and am all too familiar with panic attacks and the like -- not much fun. I expect most if not all of us who take medication would rather not -- pretty much like my husband would rather not take his medication for diabetes. Life is what it is and there is no shame in needing medicine to help us be at our best emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Your plan to talk with the summer school teacher and next year's teacher and school counselor sounds good. You really need a team working together to best help your daughter. I've got an ADD daughter going into 3rd next year and have already met her new teacher and started getting the ball rolling. It's made me feel better about working together next year.

Take good care!
Scattered

It's brave to post the things that you are saying, even if no one knows who you here. I've said things here that I've only told my wife. It's also brave to care like you do but that is what a good parent will do, they will fight for what's right.

Did you ever have a diagnosis yourself? It would be good to go back and look at that, and if your mother kept them, old report cards. Your problems may be her problems. One of my daughters is just like me. They think she is slow, just like they thought I was slow. To be honest, I looked slow back then, I had that type of ADHD, the "foggy" kind. I still wonder if I look a little slow on the outside, even now at 45. I know that I'm not slow. I can play speed chess at a master level and can write and draw well. When you find out about yourself, you can also help others like you. No one can help a child like a knowledgable and caring parent.

No I have not been diagnosised. I have the symptoms and I am going to get an evealuation done on the 26th of this month. I see my daughter going throw the same as I did. Yes I need to educate my self and I am learning so much. I comunicate better on paper rather then face to face. I am slow at things but fast at others. The school said that my daughter was mildly retarted, WHAT? No way she is good at somethings and she is slow at others. Reading and writing is her down fall, same as me. Well thanks for the reply.

I forgot but is there treatments for adults with ADHD? And anyone that has anything they do to help I would like to know, and even for the children.

If you do have ADHD, the treatment is generally the same for adults and children. What is very important here, is that you have a number of problems. So the question then is, what came first? That is why I suggested that you look at your report cards. What did your teachers see first in you? ADHD is usually the main disorder and appears early. It can cause other problems like anxiety and depression. I'm not suggesting that you have ADHD but if you do, and treat it, sometimes the other problems decrease in their intensity.

If someone has strengths and marked weaknesses, that is more indicative of a learning disability. ADHD is a developmental disorder and that means that we pick up mental skills at a slower rate then norms. Your ADHD ability to focus at 10 may be more like a normal 6 year old kid. If a child has ADHD, IQ scores can be influenced by this especially, in young children. I'm sure that my IQ tests from 35 years ago showed that I was mildly retarded, hopefully this isn't the case. :) IQ scores shouldn't change dramatically over time but they do with some ADHD kids. Sometimes school officials really don't know any better. They simply see the low scores and make assumptions. They mean well, but it can be very wrong to do that....but that is what ignorance does.

No I have not been diagnosised. I have the symptoms and I am going to get an evealuation done on the 26th of this month. I see my daughter going throw the same as I did. Yes I need to educate my self and I am learning so much. I comunicate better on paper rather then face to face. I am slow at things but fast at others. The school said that my daughter was mildly retarted, WHAT? No way she is good at somethings and she is slow at others. Reading and writing is her down fall, same as me. Well thanks for the reply. They said my husband was mildly mentally retarded too and that he'd never finish college. What it turns out he was is dyslexic and probably ADD too with an IQ well above genius level. In two months he graduates from college with almost all A's while holding down a full time job! So much for being retarded!

I forgot but is there treatments for adults with ADHD? And anyone that has anything they do to help I would like to know, and even for the children.The same treatments that work for kids work well for adults. My daughter and I both have ADD and both respond well to methylphenidate (Concerta, Ritalin). Other common medications used for adults and kids are Adderall, Dexedrine, Strattera, and sometimes Wellbutrin (although the stimulent class -Concerta, Adderall, Dexedrine, etc) are usually more effective for most folks. Counseling to help with the other conditions that occur with ADHD and with making adjustments in one's life can also be very helpful.

Scattered

I forgot to say that my mom past away 5 1/2 years ago and only have some of the evaluations from I think 7th grade. But I can't make heads or tails of it. The doctor may and I will take it to her. I will try to look for the other things and yes she did keep everything. But to find it my family messed her stuff up. But that is another story. My mom tried her best with me and no one else in my family understood. When my mom had to go to work due to my dads gambling and spending there was no one there and I was always in the way. They would ask "Why don't you do your homework, and say Go away you are bothering me." Sorry I just get to chatting and can't stop. But I will try to find the records. And thank you, it makes me feel good that I may be getting somewhere.

Be sure and tell the doctor doing the evaluation about you're dad's gambling and spending -- those are real common ADHD activities. This is condition is inherited 80% of the time.

You might copy some of the information you've put in your posts here and take them along with you too.

Scattered

That does help me by you telling me about your husband. I am so good at things but when it comes to reading and comprehending without the xanax there is no way. My daughter is starting to write backwards, that is also on my mind.

Oh my thank you all so much. I have learnd alot. I hope that I am not bothering you all that much. But thank you.

There are some great books on tape if you learn better that way and also audio tapes. Your book store might have them or www.addwarehouse.com (http://www.addwarehouse.com/). Driven to Distraction (by Hallowell and Ratey -- two Harvard professors with ADD) is a good book or tape to get for starters. Answers to Distraction is a book with short questions and answer that is quite ADD friendly. Also the video tapes by Dr. Barkley are a valuable resource. There are short articles to read for free at www.schwablearning.com (http://www.schwablearning.com).

No bother at all! That's what for forums are here for!:)

Scattered

Not a bother at all. I think it is human nature to help those who are going down the same difficult path that they have already traveled.

That evaluation sounds really important. If you can't find it, your old high school may well still have all your records in your student record. They keep those things for decades. If you want to look at those records, go to the school and tell them that you would like to see your old records for a medical reason.

hi bamboo,

My son only learned to master language well after his 5th birthday -when we found the right kind of help-(first I was told he was mentally retarded).
He still has comprehension problems, but with some help from me , some help form his teachers and some help from his medication he just finished 5th grade with a 2.75 GPA. I think it is a decent grade-considering his ADHD and the fact that english is not his native language...(he started to learn english 3 years ago).He is not a genius but he's not stupid -by far.
I think that with the right kind of help you and your daughter will do fine, too....

I will do that but I have been out of school for 14 yrs now. But I will try that. I can help others but found it was hard to help myself. But now I am up to helping myself. I have just got up to par now. I am slow mentaly at things but at others fast.

Thank you for the info. Any info and experiances is helpful.

Bambo, I wanted to chime in. I don't have a child that has been diagnosed with ADD, but my husband is. He spent sixth, seventh and eighth grade in special education classes. He was called stupid, lazy, dumb, everything under the sun, and even his own dad called him all of those. I don't like everything his mom did, but I do like the fact that she pushed and made complaints and worked until she got him out of the special education classes and into regular classes. He was tested for dyslexia. In high school, he was in regular education classes, except for his English and reading classes. And, he made pretty good grades in all of those classes, too. I also bet you probably would have, too, if you had been mainstreamed.

Your post really touched me, because I've often heard my husband talk about himself in the same way when he's feeling really down on himself. He'll tell me he's stupid or he'll call himself slow. I hate to hear anyone feel that way about themselves or talk about themselves that way.

Here is what I say to him, and it seems to help. I also plan to tell this to my daughter, who is three, if she ever has problems in school. We all have strengths and weaknesses. This does not mean we are slow or stupid. It means we are human. Honestly, if everyone everywhere was good at everything, this world would be a very boring place.

My husband failed second grade, too. He spent two years in the Navy, serving in Desert Storm. He knows almost anything and everything about cars. My strengths are in reading and writing; my weaknesses in math. I failed college algebra one semester before I met him. When I retook it, I would have failed it again, except for him. He could do all the problems on paper, that I had trouble with, even with a calculator. His strengths far outweigh his weaknesses, and I know yours do, too.

And, the fact that you are care so much about your daughter and want to keep her from going through what you did, shows that your strengths far outweigh your weaknesses, too. I hope I haven't said anything wrong or out of the way, I just hate to see someone down on themselves.

Bambo, I wanted to chime in. I don't have a child that has been diagnosed with ADD, but my husband is. He spent sixth, seventh and eighth grade in special education classes. He was called stupid, lazy, dumb, everything under the sun, and even his own dad called him all of those. I don't like everything his mom did, but I do like the fact that she pushed and made complaints and worked until she got him out of the special education classes and into regular classes. He was tested for dyslexia. In high school, he was in regular education classes, except for his English and reading classes. And, he made pretty good grades in all of those classes, too. I also bet you probably would have, too, if you had been mainstreamed.

Your post really touched me, because I've often heard my husband talk about himself in the same way when he's feeling really down on himself. He'll tell me he's stupid or he'll call himself slow. I hate to hear anyone feel that way about themselves or talk about themselves that way.

Here is what I say to him, and it seems to help. I also plan to tell this to my daughter, who is three, if she ever has problems in school. We all have strengths and weaknesses. This does not mean we are slow or stupid. It means we are human. Honestly, if everyone everywhere was good at everything, this world would be a very boring place.

My husband failed second grade, too. He spent two years in the Navy, serving in Desert Storm. He knows almost anything and everything about cars. My strengths are in reading and writing; my weaknesses in math. I failed college algebra one semester before I met him. When I retook it, I would have failed it again, except for him. He could do all the problems on paper, that I had trouble with, even with a calculator. His strengths far outweigh his weaknesses, and I know yours do, too.

And, the fact that you are care so much about your daughter and want to keep her from going through what you did, shows that your strengths far outweigh your weaknesses, too. I hope I haven't said anything wrong or out of the way, I just hate to see someone down on themselves. I thank you very much for the reply. It does help some but I am having a real hard time at this moment. On top of all the learning disabilities, I am going throw other emotional issues. Feeling negative about myself, thinking to much about what I would say to someone (I do better on paper then face to face), not focusing, hard to consentrate, my mind just keeps going and at times I say STOP and PTSD, oh yea for you women I am experencing severe PMS. It has been bad and is getting worse now. Alot has happend to me and just want to get help and if it is ADD or ADHD then I need to help fix that.

Yes I know there are other issues, but could this be a part of being in the special ed classes?


I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow morrning and I am going to write everything down so she knows everything.

Sorry to put that in there but today is a very frustrating day for me. Thanks for listening.

I don't think that it's necessarily from you being in special ed classes, but I do think your emotional problems could be caused by the things that happened to you in special ed. We all carry around scars from things that happened when we were children. Children are cruel and say mean things. And, if we came from a bad environment growing up, we might carry scars from that, too. And, sometimes, emotional problems can be made worse by scars we have.

I am currently in therapy myself because of depression. I'm sure that some of my depression is caused by a chemical imbalance, because anti-depressants have helped. But, part of the problem, is that I was also have scars from when I was in school. I was considered smart and I had big glasses that covered half my face, was skinny as a board and had braces. I was made fun of badly from 6th to 8th grade. The problem is that I've never been able to let go of the negative image that was formed then.

What I've been trying to say with all of this (I'll get to my point eventually, lol) is that if you have a tendency toward emotional problems anyway, your past scars and all those things that you heard growing up will effect you and can make it worse.

I do see what you are saying and thank you. I am trying to read a bood called "The Secret of Letting Go" by "Guy Finley" like I said I am trying to read it but it is a slow process. I am sorry that you went throw that and yes kids can be mean. My neice makes fun of people and I have blowen up at her about it. No that was not the right thing to do but I was thinking of me as a child. If you can try to look up that book, I have been able to get throw the first chapter and understood it. I had to read things over to understand it and I had to stop for a while cause I was getting irretated not knowing what I was reading, not understanding it and reading so slow. I am working throw that now. I am on anti-depressants and seems to have stopped, well I am going throw PMS but it has been getting worse in the past five months. Major mood swings, and all of that. I am going to see the doc today and see what she says.