My Wife has ADD, and possibly my son also. I have trouble going out with my freinds alone. My son has trouble letting us go out together. Do ADD partners need to be close to their families as much as possible? Do ADDERS do everything to stay close to you as much as possible? If so how is it possible to find a balance between family and social life.

Hi Bellyup!

I hope you find the support you are looking for. In response to these two questions of yours:

Do ADD partners need to be close to their families as much as possible? Do ADDERS do everything to stay close to you as much as possible?
I don't believe that is an ADD trait. I can tell you that I am not like that at all. And, in fact, if my partner reacted like that to me - it'd bug the CRAP outta me!! I think that stems from something entirely different than having ADHD!

Hope you get more responses.

Sue

P.S. Are you really from France? If so, which part?

A Bientot!

No :rolleyes:

sorry to say, but i kinda have the same problem , its almost as if they're needy,
if i want to go play golf, ill let her know about it way in advance. and even then ill get greif about it , untill something else stimulates her. i cant honestly say why , but for the most part i enjoy her company , just sometime you want a space

I kinda wished I had more of the mine always wants to be with friends

I hate being alone, clingy is the word my wife uses. So yes is my answer. I have ADHD BTW.

I have ADD and I like being alone. I can see good friends once a year and it is like it was yesterday. Of course, like others, I have no concept of time. Perhaps your significant other has trust issues.

I love being around people. However, I can't stand when people are clingy or needy.

So in my experience what you're describing has nothing to do with ADD. I'd guess it has more to do with self-esteem.

It's as elf esteem thing - which is could be related to ADHD.

I love being around people myself

My nerologist has said to me before though that some traits would be there regardless of having ADHd or not.

i think this is probably true in ur wife and sons case as well. he is learning from his mom.

Yup, self esteem might be it.
Just a shot into the blue but, give her the feeling that you love her. Make 100% sure she has no doubt about.
Then she'll probably kick you out of the house to play golf faster then you can say handicap :)

LOL. Ya,, as long as i change my thinking and as long as i know she loves me ( non- add partner) , i can go and do other things. But she tells other people im glued to her hip. When she gets quiet i think she dosent love me. Its got to do ALOT with self esteem. I crave her attention all the time. Just cause she understands me so much. But im learning to give her her space. Kinda hard when were both on disability tho. I just want her to tell me im doing ok and then that recharges my batteries. Makes me want to clean the house. :) A looooooong pause then i hear in the air in a chippery voice " I love you babe ! " and i reply and then i get a rush of love come over me that makes me want to climb mountains. I just struggle when shes quiet. I think its me. what did i do ,what did i say , oh shes getting sick of me again or i think what can i do ,, shes bipolor and im add and bipolor. we struggle alot. be together alot, but we dont fight. thank god. were pretty much both quiet people. Hopefully that made sum sence. Sorry to post. I know im not non-add but this part of the bords help me. helps me know what im all about and the things that makes my girl tick :) Im openminded enuff to hear it and take it in and see it for what it is. Hopefully i dinit go all over the place here. Later :).

Well with us its my husband that has ADD and I am the one that doesn't like it when he is always gone. Yes I have a low self esteem from the many years living with him undiagnosed and his very good way of managing to make me always doubt myself. I felt I was going crazy!! But I know that trust is my reason for having diffficulty when he says he is going somewhere.

I have very good reason though.!!!!!!!!!!!
He says I have to let go of the past. I say it is something that will always be in my memories, something he doesn't have. And because he doesn't remember this is why I can't trust him. He has always repeated past "wrongs" because of this or impulsiveness not sure which.

Don't know if this has any meaning to you or not.

my boyfriend has ADD and i don't but we are both sort of clingy so it works out. but to suggest a possible answer: maybe the clingy thing is part of ADD but not everyone gets it. the ADDer might be dependant on the non ADDer for a lot of things, and that could make the ADDer want to keep the non ADDer close so they will always be secure or on the other hand the ADDer might want to break away out of a sort of frustration at the fact that they do depend on the non ADDer. kind of like how some people who have really serious disabilities will do that too. for instance some people who are in wheelchairs don't want someone to be there helping them all the time. sometimes they crave independance and will push away the people who try to help them. while other people who are in wheelchairs are insecure and might feel like the care giver is neglecting them if they leave them alone. not that i think ppl with ADD are really disabled or anything but just the dependany factor could come into play

Borderline Personality Disorder, which is somewhat common with ADHD, has many strong abandonment symptons. Maybe this is something you should look into....

i am add and i hate being alone. it's just much easier for me to accomplish things if i have someone around...i feel like if there is someone there, i have to be responsible or something. it's hard to explain.

My husband and I both have ADD and neither one of us is that way at all. My husband is gone a lot which is one of the reasons I can stand living with him. If he were clingier it would drive me nuts. He has said on more than one occasion he was glad I am not normal so I don't keep track of time. Honestly I don't mine him being gone due to his work a lot.

I have no doubt some ADDers are like this but I tend to believe it would be more due individual styles/expressions/preferences than ADD itself.

Borderline Personality Disorder, which is somewhat common with ADHD, has many strong abandonment symptons. Maybe this is something you should look into....
That is the thought that popped into my head as well, it often co-occurs with AD/HD and is treatable.