First of all HELLO!
I am an adult male who is 36 and lives in New England. I have ADD and
very frustrated at this point. This is kinda long but hoping some of you
can relate...

I am about ready to quit another entry level job because I’ve been training for a month
and I am in over my head, I am lost. Two other people started with me and they are
getting it and totally ready to go. This has been a similar experience throughout my
life and if I can actually do the job, I just get stuck there in a holding pattern and
never advance.

What kills me, is that I know I have the intelligence to do a lot better than work in
entry level jobs, like manufacturing or assembly. Right now I am doing home
satellite installation, like DirecTV or DISH Network.


Because I can talk intelligently and can put on a good act that I know what
I am doing…most people don’t have much of an idea that I have any problem
at all and they think I am lazy or unmotivated or something.

I had a job as a machine operator once and I STRUGLLED for years to
understand how to operate that machine! I was working with people who
were frankly not that bright and they could figure it out easily. I drew
diagrams, tried reading books…nothing. One of my coworkers there was
CONVINCED that I was messing up the machine on purpose because I
didn’t want to work! He couldn’t comprehend how I could screw up in
the same ways day after day. I eventually just quit out of sheer frustration.
I realize now that it is not because of lack of intellegence on my my part,
but rather how my brain organizes and coordinates information.

I don’t mind doing these kind of jobs if I have to…I just HATE knowing that
I am a lot smarter than this and then going to work everyday and falling on my
face and screwing up all of the time.

Anyway, this latest job, I realized I was in over my head since I started.
It requires going into people’s houses and running wires to install satellite
equipment. You would THINK that it would be IDEAL for an A.D.D. guy
because of the variety and chance to be creative with solutions but it is a
nightmare because there are too many choices, too much freedom and
too many demands on my time managememt and organizational skills which
are really lacking. I basically have to go into someone’s house and plan where
to put the dish, where to run the wires, which tools to use and how to make
it all work or troubleshoot it if it doesn’t…and then finish in time to go to the
next house!

The first time I tried to do something VERY simple, attach a base to a rooftop
with 4 bolts, it took me over an hour because I was so mentally and physically
uncoordinated! Whenever I do something like this on my OWN time, like
when I assembled my computer desk from a kit, I have to go VERY slowly and
organize everything first. There is NO WAY I could be that anal on a jobsite.

Well, I haven’t quit yet. I’ve turned it into sort of a game to see how long I
can last before they tell me I’m not working out.

Ironically, we went to school for a week for Satellite Certification and I
got the highest mark in our class. So again, people are going to think
I am lazy or don’t care.

I’m starting to realize that I have a handicap and I’m trying to live in spite
of it. What else can I do though? I’m 36, married, my wife wants to have
kids and has doubts about whether or not I can support her.
I can’t just stop my life.

I’ve tried all the major medications for ADD and either has side effects
that I couldn’t live with or no benefit or improvement.

When I was in school, I was in special education programs for years
because I was underperforming in school. These programs were a
JOKE! They were a dumping ground for kids that they didn’t know
what else to do with. None of the other kids had learning disabilities,
they came from broken homes or had other issues.


I’ve tried counseling, talk therapy and that has been another disaster.
It seems to me that most counselors give me the impression that because
I haven’t managed to screw my life up in some major way, like spending
time in jail or having suicidal thoughts that my problems are nothing to
worry about. They tell me to focus on the positives, that I’ve been able
to hold down jobs, get new jobs if necessary and hold my marriage
together.

Any adults out there with ADD that have been through this?
Are there jobs out there we can do that aren’t entry level,
bottom of the barrel jobs and still support ourselves.

I hate to just keep spinning my wheels like this! I’m 36 and I would
hate to be sitting somewhere at 46 in the same boat.

David,

Get help now. The usual caveat: I'm no doctor. Can't diagnosis ADHD. Many other disorders mimic ADHD. Often ADHD is accompanied by an another 1 or 2 disorders or more. Those other disorders will radically change the treatment path. Now that you can't sue me ...

It is very likely that an ADHD med like Ritalin or Adderall will radically change your life for the better. From an untrained observers standpoint, all of the problems you listed can be and often are ADHD related. Another caveat: Meds alone are usually not enough because we need to replace bad habits developed because of ADHD with good habits. Do the two and you'll fly faster than a scramjet toward living up to your true potential. The disparity between the two - actual IQ and functional IQ - drives us stark raving mad until we know why and how to fix it - or more accurately - how to manage it.

You need expert counsel. The problem I and many others have/had is your typical MD, psychologist and even shrink don't know jack about ADHD. Some don't even "believe" it is a disorder. I guess their religion is AntiADHDist because there is tons of scientific research proving that ADHD is as much a medical disorder as autism. Some say it is even related. See Mctavish23's post in the sticky header section. Not enough? Ask and I'll refer you to a book that gives all the boring details about how ADHD studies are conducted and their results. The "boring details" are the number of controls those guys put into place so their results aren't skewed. And there are hundreds of studies all pointing to the same conclusion. Dude, there is something wrong with our brains.

Where to get said "expert counsel." If you lived in NEPA, I could tell you. Find someone in the medical field and ask them "who would they recommend for ADHD." Let me tell you a dirty little medical secret. My mother was in hospital administration. I hear her say things like, "I wouldn't take Stover to that doctor." Stover was our current dog. She knew the bozos from the real McCoys because she was behind the scenes. Poor slobs that went to that doctor.

Bob

PS Take no action and you'll be 66 in the same boat.