E-boy
06-20-06, 03:01 PM
Just a little thread to point out some recent findings by the psychiatric community. "Tough love" approaches, and some forms of CBT (Be familiar with how they're "Treating" your child) have NEVER been conclusively shown to do any good whatsoever and are now, frighteningly enough, being shown to cause far more harm than anything. Long term problems like anxiety disorders. I know all about this first hand, so I'm not at all suprised.
Having pointed this out, it is also important to note that holding a child accountable for their behavior and encouraging responsibility isn't tough love. It's parenting. It's important to understand what ADD does to your child, insofar as deficits and gifts, so that proper support can be provided. Otherwise you may inadvertantly make things worse. My parents were good people, but they, quite unintentionally, tortured me. Heck my dad tried to beat the ADD out of me (maybe he wasn't as good a person as mom), and insisted when things didn't get better that I was simply being "stubborn". You can't force some kinds of learning, for example. You also can't force an interest. You can however find ways that work for them. Help them learn to adapt, while still maintaining high standards. Teach them that what they can't do one way they may manage another, and teach them to value their gifts. Most importantly don't allow the vicious cycle of labling, low self esteem, and failure to set in. Half the battle with an ADD child is getting them through childhood without their self worth going in the toilet. High expectations, but flexibility in how they achieve these expectations is a good way to teach self respect.
Having pointed this out, it is also important to note that holding a child accountable for their behavior and encouraging responsibility isn't tough love. It's parenting. It's important to understand what ADD does to your child, insofar as deficits and gifts, so that proper support can be provided. Otherwise you may inadvertantly make things worse. My parents were good people, but they, quite unintentionally, tortured me. Heck my dad tried to beat the ADD out of me (maybe he wasn't as good a person as mom), and insisted when things didn't get better that I was simply being "stubborn". You can't force some kinds of learning, for example. You also can't force an interest. You can however find ways that work for them. Help them learn to adapt, while still maintaining high standards. Teach them that what they can't do one way they may manage another, and teach them to value their gifts. Most importantly don't allow the vicious cycle of labling, low self esteem, and failure to set in. Half the battle with an ADD child is getting them through childhood without their self worth going in the toilet. High expectations, but flexibility in how they achieve these expectations is a good way to teach self respect.