Yesterday, I lost my job due to ADD.
I was working for about a month as a satellite installer(DISH, DirecTV).
Yesterday, after training for 3 weeks and school for 1 week, I went out
with my supervisor to do an installation as kind of a test to see what I knew.

I must have failed or screwed up 1,000 or so small, little times all day!
-Dropping things out of my pockets
-Not carrying the ladder right and almost dropping it
-Losing screws and bolts
-Losing tools
-bumping into things with my toolbelt
-Forgetting to put the right fittings on the cable
-Not knowing where to place my body when I'm working in a tight spot.
Imagine doing that over and over all day long!!
Imagine trying to be able to concentrate and wire the job correctly!

I wasn't nervous either because I knew that this was going to happen
sooner or later. In my training, I mostly just watched other people
work and I got a real sense that I was in over my head when it would
come time for me to be on my own. I turned it into a game to see how
long I could last before they kicked me out and told me it wasn't going
to make it.

At the end of the day, my boss told me. I needed to be alot more
aggressive in attacking the job and work with more "urgency"!
The reason I didn't have any "urgency" is that I had no idea what I was
doing, I had no gameplan, I was just going through the motions and looking
for clues or cues from around me as to how to do this!
I understand the basics, on the written test, I got the highest score, but
I can't adapt to the situation, every house is different and there are too
many decision, too much stimulus and too much flying around in my
head to come up with a plan for an installation.

I also was horribly uncoordinated trying to do the work! Just as physically
disorganized as mentally.
So...I had no "urgency" I just did my best and failed over and over and
over in 1,000 little ways. It just became a holding pattern and a waiting
game until the day was over.

I HAVE to work of course, but it seems every job I have I go through a
variation of this. What really KILLS me, is that I know I am smart
enough to do alot better than entry level jobs like this and I know I'm
smarter than most of the people I work with...but I end up falling on
my face and screwing up.

dang that really sucks. I have been lucky to only have 2 jobs in my entire 10 years in the workforce. Both allowed me to do my own thing and completely fly underneath the radar with minimal supervision. Otherwise I probably would have ended up in the same predicament. Maybe it's time to look into doing something like buying / re-selling things on ebay or some other form of self-business. Btw have you tried any meds to help you with your situation?

Meds didn't help me and I had unpleasant side effects.
I've been doing Nuerofeedback for the last year which has been not much
help.

Yeah, I think the real problem is one that I share. I see people do things, but I myself never really go for it when given the chance because I never know where to start. I learned to write notes for myself to create a process to follow, usually just a 4-10 steps in the margin of some page or something that I can go through. Sometimes that is something you can do, and other times it isn't all that realistic.

Dave, I am sooo sorry! Hugs. Have you tried any kind of mentoring or coaching? Having someone who knows just what your are going through, what you are going to need, and who understands completely, can support you and help you build your confidence. It might be worth looking into. You obviously have some great skills and tenacity. You just need some direction and a game plan?

It really sounds as if you were setting yourself up to fail from the get go - I turned it into a game to see how long I could last before they kicked me out and told me it wasn't going to make it.
I know myself that there have been times working with someone I feared or admired that I would screw up if being watched intently . This is not the case though if I'm alone- confidence comes after doing it 100 times

forget the dish thing anyway , have you looked in being an electrician ?

Go union -IBEW a living wage for people like us

David,

William Tell's post helped me realize something about myself. There is no job that I cannot do if I'm not supervised. Supervised? I'll fail for sure. I either do it my way or no way. That is out of necessity not out of conceit.

That is why I have been self-employed all my life. A couple of times I lost some serious money. But wanna know what? It was less than what a college education currently costs. We all pay for our education one way or the other.

Incidently, William Tell is a electrical contractor not an electrician. I do not know William other than through cyberspace. But I do know an electrical contractor and he makes very serious, I am talking VERY SERIOUS, money. He is not college educated.

To be self-employed takes being a communicator - a people person - more than anything else. Most ADHDers can't keep their mouth shut. So that shouldn't be a problem. But the ability to realistically plan and organize are needed too. If you possess those qualities, look into starting your own business. You'll need some other stream of income for about 2 years until your operation has positive cash flow.

Having your own business presents a never ending stream of problems. You will never have peace in your life again, that is, until you sell it. My ADHD brain thrives on problems. All my troubles start when I get the solution. Maybe you are the same way.

Bob

Reading this thread has been very interesting and helpful. It seems many of us
"interview' very well, which leads people to have higher expectations of us, so when or if we don't live up to thier expectations, their dismay or disappointment in us is more pronounced. Maybe they feel as if they were conned in the interview. I guess we should ask ourselves 'Knowing what we know...would we hire ourselves'?

Now I really am depressed.

Sorry for your job loss Dave. Everyone has given good advice to you. I wish you luck in finding the right fit for you,

Sincerely; Addeline

It really sounds as if you were setting yourself up to fail from the get go - I turned it into a game to see how long I could last before they kicked me out and told me it wasn't going to make it.

I also agree here with william. It sounds like you were sabotaging yourself from the getgo. I sound like you didnt really put the all into to it and it was more of a game to see how far you could get before you were told you didnt make it and then blame it on someone else.

The blame game doesnt help anyone and hurt the person who is doing the blaming in the long run. Try to find someone to help you organise your thoughts like a conselor who understands ADHD.

There are skill that can help. Have you picked up any books on ADHD. Check out the book Delivered from distraction by Hallowell and Ratey... it is a good book. I have just started to read it and I am learning alot. Good Luck let me know how things go.