Do you go to work and suck it in when things get hard, and then lose it when you get home and you're on your own

or

Do you lose it at work

Both, although I am very good at hiding it when I "lose it" (are you talking emotions or concentration or both?). I tend to shimmy through the day and pretend to get on with my work even if (like too many days) I can't really stay *with it*, and then go home and *crash* for a while ("freeze" on the sofa).

I generally have a hard time showing emotion though even with people I am very close to I struggle to say when I'm unwell so I never "lose it" at work and very rarely in private.

Guess a lot has to do with being told over and over again that what I perceive as a problem is *not real* or *just in your head* or *not really a problem*. I find it difficult to believe that anyone would even believe that I am really struggling.

What I mean by lose it, is emotionally. I keep it together at work and no-one has a clue. The last couple of weeks have been really hard (as in suicidal, self harm) but nobody knows. I didn't go in today coz I just couldn't pretend to be OK. It's hard to ring up and say you can't come in coz you've lost the plot. Thankfully it's OK to do that coz I'm in a return to work program and I guess they expect that it could happen but I didn't give any indication that it would. Now I have to go in tomorrow and explain and I also have to tell my doc who thinks I'm Ok too.

Yep. Talk with your Doc!

Obviously, you don't want to take on the "agenda" of your attackers, and do their work for them, after the fact!

How not to do that is the not so obvious part. i haave no clue, that's why i suggest your Doc! I fall into this pattern as well. Just stubornly not giving into the bad plan is what has kept me here this long.

perhaps you will identify with that and be able to use it to your own advantage....

Sorry you're feeling so bad at the moment :(

But yeah emotionally I always keep it in, and if I can't pretend to be OK then I step aside, take the afternoon off or something (had to do a lot of that around the time I left my emotionally and verbally abusive ex, would've taken more time off if I hadn't had as many obligations at work at the time). Find it very difficult to even admit how I feel, would much rather say had a bad nights sleep or something and then take a days worth of holiday.

Originally posted by tudorose
What I mean by lose it, is emotionally. I keep it together at work and no-one has a clue. ....

This is EXACTLY what happens to me...one of the reasons I feel like such a fraud at work (remember that thread from a while back?). There have been times when I've gone down several flights of stairs below the floors my firm "inhabits" and sat down on a step and just cried and cried and cried...but even then I had to suck it up a little 'cause I didn't want to draw attention from strangers on those other floors.

Sometimes I go home and lose it--call up somebody and vent. Unfortunately, several times I have chosen to choose beer as my "comfort."

But I don't like to lose it in front of people...I think to myself (when I'm in a funk or whatever), "If they REALLY knew what was going on inside my head right now...{insert whatever response from them you expect....}.

The ADD meds have actually helped me not "lose it" in front of people.....which is a good thing.....because God knows after an episode of that -- the shame and remorse are intense. I just have to appear "strong" in front of others.

So I have done much "crying" and what-not in lady's rooms....

I think that coz we're ADD, there is a lot more pressure on us to keep it together so that we don't get stereotyped. Meds bring a lot more awareness and a lot more control but for me they opened up emotions that I hadn't let myself feel for years before and that's hard to deal with.

We got the new yellow pages yesterday so if I get upset, I have the old ones in my room to rip up instead.

Joan - I agree with your signature totally. Unfortunately, knowing that you'd never do that isn't enough to stop you feeling that way. While it's a temporary problem, it comes in cycles for me and it's no less tormenting each time.

I tend to lose it on the way to work... :D :(

i'm so empathetic. although i have no way of soothing this feeling and feel overwhelmed alot; avoidance and paralisis such as deer strickened by bright light is my method of copeing at work. at home i sleep alot . as you know this solves nothing. so rarely do i lose it . but i let should have's , if only , etc. follow me home instead of leaving upsets at work.unhealthy habits. one thing i've learned is "reliable info" customer service = less detailed = the more reliable info is. in other words don't sweat the small stuff. this works for me with family , internal cust.@work, and bill collectors. ex. a)so Sam I need to spend time organizing today. b)Ms smith thanks for helping me realize I need to address planning ... c)check's in the mail really. follow-up? well sometimes I'm focused and finish, but sometimes I have to do small steps daily before i finish but i give whatever my best.