I really believe women experience ADD in some ways the same as men. But there are some things we experience that are very different....What do you think?

I don't know if this is true of men also; but I know that having ADD has really made me think hard about whether I want children or not. (Harder than most of my female friends, who all have or want them.) I'm just not sure I'd actually be able to muster the constant, never-ending attention they seem to need to thrive.

Then there's the guilt of having those doubts...

I give the following article to most women with ADHD I encounter in my practice:

http://www.interactivemetronome.com/_template/image.asp?img=/images/content/MediaNews_99_article_0.jpg

I have thought about this for a while and as I don't know many ADD men I am not sure. But I know that as a woman who has ADD I was not picked up at school or college etc by the nature of how ADD is with women.

In answer to Rodgers posts here. It may be different in the states but in the UK chances are we have been examined in many areas physically because our parents have wanted to find out why things aren't just quite right I for example as a child ahve had hearing tests iabetes thyroid tests allergy tests and more even as an adult I have had some tests re done at my request. The only thing that was never looked at was a so called learning difficulty. Only as an adult and by chance converstaions with people did this crop up as an option. I have now been DX and am on ritalin and for the first time am I able to make and keep to the lists etc that you mention in the article and all the other coping and aiding stratergies are only now of help without the ritalin all these things like lists and notes etc were too much and I never did it. As for your advertising for this metronome thingy for me after 40 years of fighting this unknown thing I cna now embrass it and at last feel like I am living I am happy with medication it is easy and gives me what I need

I agree that men and women expereince AD/HD differently.

okay, i may not understand what's going on here,
what's with this "metronome" thing?
if anyone knows anything about it,
let me know

SYWI-

I have found that having ADD hasn't been all that bad with my now 10 month old daughter. Ok, so the house isn't all that clean... but a childs attention span is even shorter then mine! LOL When she sits still for 20 mins to "read" her fav book... I'm in awe.

I've actualy had other (non-add I'd guess) moms tell me they wish they could keep up with their babies like I can... I just smile. (And silently thank my add) :)

Don't beat yourself up about your feelings, if it's really important to you, spend some time really playing with some kids... I'd bet that you find it all that bad. They are always wanting to do something else- like it or not!!! LOL

Jessica

Originally posted by andrea76
okay, i may not understand what's going on here,
what's with this "metronome" thing?
if anyone knows anything about it,
let me know

Sort of like chewing gum at a consistent pace helps you accomplish & focus on other things. (Which I find is true). If I am chewing (or eating) or tapping something, I can stay focused on some things longer/better. Don't ask me why....maybe something to do with this metrinome. :D

:confused: . o O (I wonder if this means I am more in touch with my feminine side?)

I find that there are good and bad aspects as an ADHD mom. Yes, it can get overwhelming, but the auto-response to block stuff out kicks in. That can be good, but you can also miss something the child says. I tend to forget things and my teens take advantage of me when I'm busy at work to get a yes answer when I normally might have said no.The HD is actually pretty cool- I keep up with the kids always. Multi tasking is my middle name. but when it comes to real thinking, I'm going to need a little quiet. So I find that learning your own particular strengths and needs and working within that reality is pretty successful.

The real hard part for me is that I didn't realize that this was so hereditary and paseed it to my children who are now seriously struggling in school and socially. We are dealing, but I find that very honest up front dialogue with my entire family helps us all to work with the limitations.

Hi, I'm new here. I have ADHD, and I have 4 daughters (14, 12, 8, 4) It's a challenge, but can be done. If you want children, don't let this stop you! Be aware, however, that you children might have it too....that makes for a lot of fun :-) I have a gifted child who I suspect has ADD, but it hasn't interfered with her life as of yet. I also have a very hyper, impulsive 8yr old...my "wild woman" She's a blast...but sometimes I need to remove myself from the constant commotion or I go stark raving mad!!!

I see now this is an older post. I will read some in the wings for a while and try to catch up with you all.

Alison

PS, I also have a bit of LD here....can't spell worth a drn. I try to spell check most stuff, but please excuse when I rush and send out something awfully mispelled:-)

Welcome to the ADDforum Alison

you will find lots of good info here and lots of good people to walk with you through the process of learing to live with the ADD

Here is a good example

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1207


Origanally posted by Big Wheels

If you use Internet Explorer, there is a great FREE plug-in for it which I use and LOVE. It is called I.E. Spell (www.iespell.com). All you have to do is highlight any text you have typed, then either click the button on the tool-bar, or right click and choose "Check Spelling", or go to Tools -> ie Spell.

I don't think you have to be a mom for it to be different for you as a woman. As a professional woman I have a HELL of a complex b/c you're supposed to look all "sleek and polished." Ends tucked in, lipstick matching nail polish, all that rot. As you can imagine (and I'm hoping some of you can empathize), "sleek and polished" is not exactly a specialty when you're ADD unless you were BORN that way, I think. I try to keep the makeup and the routine as simple as possible b/c the more dressed up I get, the more messed up I look when it gets messy. And then I get harassed for looking "unprofessional." At that point I'd like to scream "well if you'd like me to spend the extra hour getting ready and looking perfect and are willing to let me come in that hour late, we can certainly arrange it." But since that's out of the question, I just work quietly on my ulcer ... I'm thinking seriously about getting that tattooed on permanent makeup b/c I JUST CAN'T DEAL WITH IT and it gets HARDER EVERY YEAR ...

I didn't mean to rant; it's just that it's like Ginger Rogers. She did everything Fred Astaire did except backwards and in high heels, and I don't know but I doubt that she had ADD.

MRB,
I relate! Occasionally a friend tries to fix me, they say I dress down or something. I only dress up when necessary, or motivated suddenly.
One friend I dated a little suggested I get dolled up. I suggested he date a different woman.
I should try the Metronome thingy. I only use it with music, and I credit music for my reasonable survival socially. Sounds, pitches relates to voices /comunication.

I also think music has helped my overall rythm in llife.
I was rythmically challenged and melodically gifted music wise, but think I am better now.
Every year I get better rythmically in life. Therfore music has helped me in that way too.

I must also say that other parents can't understand how on earth I can keep up with my very-active son. The play changes all the time... 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there, 8 minutes doing that, then 5 minutes something else... My attentionspan is about 7 minutes and I think it's thanks to my adhd I really CAN keep up with my son. I think it's boring to chat at the table over a cup of coffe like the other moms. I want to run, play soccer, chase butterflies, play hide and seek behind trees and sneak up behind my kid and scare him, go hunting for bugs and ants. My kid and all the other kids love me because of this. "Normal" parents doesn't know how to play I think :)

Music is a wonderful thing. I was a serious piano and oboe student when I was a little kid, and I think it saved me from being diagnosed! All jokes aside, I think the regular music practice tied up juuuuuust enough synapses in my head so that, since I never had any social life, I succeeded in school with straight As and the only REAL sign of the ADD (noticed again more in boys 'cuz they are antsy) is that I wasn't popular at all and I had the messiest desk certainly in the honors classes and most of the time in my general classes as well. And my parents never noticed because I was an only child and they were both too busy.

Sorry guys - I'm feeling sorry for myself today because a dear friend passed away very suddenly.

That's not feeling sorry for yourself MBR. That's grief. Nothing to apologize for, and certainly nothing to be ashamed of. My condolences.

Piupau,

I used to be just like that... :-) Not sure what happened exactly... Probably because I spend so much of the time overwhelmed and fuzzed out these days that I can't manage even that level of involvement anymore... At least not when things are up in the air. When I am at my norm though it's hide and seek, bug hunting, tag, wrestling, and whatever else me and my kids dream up on the spur of the moment.