About 8 years ago, my 2nd grade class had to write a story with fortunates and unfortunates. So now I will make you all relive my 2nd grade class assignment! :D

First, someone starts out with a topic for the story. Then, someone thinks of a fortunate thing that would happen, and the next person thinks of an unfortunate thing, and it keeps switching. Then when we get tired of the topic, someone can switch it. To make things more clear, here's an example:
A cat is stuck in a tree.
Person 1: Fortunately, I have a cell phone to call the fire department to get the kitty down.
Person 2: Unfortunately, the cell phone needs to be recharged
Person 3: Fortunately, the fire department is right next door to me!

So how about we start with this: you're at the beach, and somebody is drowning!

Fortunately, there is a lifeguard nearby to save him.

Unfortunately he twists his ankle jumping down off his stand...

and he drags his carcess to the water much looking like a beached logger head turtle, his face twisted into a determed glaze as the crowd gathered to watch this dismal sight but the lifeguard comes to life when he finally gets to the water and rips out there like a seal jumping through the waves and he saves the girl from drowning but.....

Fortunately, Sarah is here to save the day! :D

they are caught in a riptide; vainly the lifeguard screams for aid .......

Fortunately another lifeguard, who had been getting a hot dog on break, returns in the nick of time to see the crowd and hear the cries of fear...

as a jelly fish drapes itself across his face stifeling his cries ,him holding the girl and powerless to remove the stinging tenticles of the man o war, the crowd on the beach watching in terror.......

Then the other lifeguard throws down his hot dog into the burning sand, grabs the life preservers and jumps into the water, no thought to his own safety, the riptides or the stinging tentacles of the man o war.

and the second lifeguard jogging in slow motion with his hot dog and soda in his hands makes his way through the crowd his lips smacking from the last bite and a little mustard hanging on his lip his asks in an authoritive tone what seems to be the trouble ? .......

When all of the sudden a great white shark is seen barreling down on them like a train wreck and the crowd screaming in sheer terror.....and the popcorn vendor is yelling anybody for popcorn get your popcorn

the second life guard goes back to the beach to get some popcorn and the great white swallows the 1st lifegaurd and girl and jellyfish ,saitiated the shark heads back out to the ocean and everybody lays down on they're towels and resumes the noise of summer and the second lifeguard climbs back in the chair with a fresh bag of popcorn and scans the horizen for for signs of trouble
when all of the sudden.......

a gay and lesbian motorcycle club starts riding on the beach headed toward you .....

and one of them kicks sand in your face and she smacks your face ,you too stunned to speak and the sound of screaming motorcycle engines rattling in your ears and tears spring from your eyes and you feel the sting of the backhand and watch the 300 lb. biker babe ride away giggling like a second grader

and you realize your in love

LOL LOL LOL
unfortunately you are already married so you can't run off with the bike riding lesbain

but dreams of the two of you race through your mind like the time you rubbed sunsreen on her immense back and stammered in broken and foul language about your desire and submission to her and the time you two went to the movies and she ate all of the popcorn when you went to get a soda , your eyes turning back into your head in your dream state and a crooked smile spread across your face

I think that slap may have knocked you unconcious, and lifegaurd #2 gently climbs down from his perch (mindfull of how lifegaurd #1 met his demise) and heads your way ....

and trips over you and almost falls to the ground, he grunts but is speechless looking at your wife named tracyhaddb and she locks him into an embrace , her using your forehead to stand on and get to him...

grinding salt and sand into your rapidly swelling lips and twisting your nose into hurtful positions, you thinking you just felt a tooth give way under her fully extended leg ....

chuckle

grinding salt and sand into your rapidly swelling lips and twisting your nose into hurtful positions, you thinking you just felt a tooth give way under her fully extended leg ....LOL..gee you are a worry WT :D

licking the blood with your sand encrusted tongue and feeling the new empty spot reminisant of the time you had fell off your bike going down a hill and kissed that car bumper while racing little johnny. Your mind drifts to a nicer time, the big truck rally in Statler, where you first met Tracy....

She had looked so cute standing next to the corn dog stand holding her brothers hand and munching a corndog with the other. You were standing there with your dad and sister still excited from watching the monster trucks do wheelies (always a crowd pleaser) and you were smitten in that moment

you are jarred awake by the ambulance crew and are excited knowing you will be the one that the sirens are about, and who cares if they amputate your lips anyway, look on the bright side, you think, I'll always appear happy. Whrrrrral you sing with the siren going down the road.

and who cares if they amputate your lips anyway, look on the bright side, you think, I'll always appear happy. :D :D where do you come up with these ideas??? you have a very vivid imagination LOL LOL...:p

and BTW...we got completely of the original topic..

which fortunately gave me a great giggle

(now, on to the unfortunately reply!!)

Lol, I am enjoying reading the fun stuff William is writting..:D :D :D

Unforutunately, the ambulance gets a flat tire and nobody knows how to change a tire. You still think you are in motion and that the sirens are still going off. People stop to stare at the useless paramedics trying to call triple A and you are still singing along with the siren at the top of your lungs. People begin to laugh as they listen to you.

FORTUNATELY you can sing really well, the onlookers join in, and disaster is averted!! :D

and it is true you can sing really well, all those lessons are paying off now, and you are really enjoying the attention and think to yourself that perhaps the crowd won't notice the lisp you currently have from that missing front tooth.
You tumble off the gurney and attempt to get to your feet to take a bow when you spy a familer face in the crowd, it is Sara, Your old friend from the pom pom sqaud. She rushes to your aid and helps you over to her sidecar attached to her scooter and you ask if she'll mind if you continue to make the siren noise going down the road.

And you roar off with your hair flying back, Sara is really burning up the road, you are in terrible shape but this feels like freedom- when there is a sudden bump in the road and you feel sick to your stomach. This is reminisent of every amusement ride you have ever been on. And you lose your lunch into the street . Sara did'nt notice though and you are happy about that

You entertain thoughts of being on the back of the big girls bike. and thoughts of playing the piano creep into your mind but you chase them away because you know you can't carry a tune and no one ever asked if you wanted piano lessons, although all the pretty movie stars can play the piano and you snap to reality as Sara jams on the brakes in front of the emergency room and you hear voices disscussing emergency lip replacement as you fade out wanting to request big lips. When you wake up they tell you they had a shortage of lips and they did the best they could as you look for a mirror......

You gasp when you see your reflection, your top lip is a horses lip !!!!!!! and it is attempting to bray !!!!! It is huge !!!! think how easy it will be to eat ice cream!!!!

Sara is aghast but hides it very well and compiments the doctors for their quick thinking, she loves nice outcomes, and gives you a ride back to the beach, a somewhat somber ride at that, and thoughts of Joe Weidermans "Don't let anybody kick sand in your face" briefly pass by.
and you think of all the beach gear you have to carry back
and can't they all see you are injured ?? Tracy mentions that she's sure your lip will be asorbed into your face, and you want to believe her. You mumble thanks and turn away. Suddenly you don't want all of the attention

People begin to swarm around you as you reach your gear. They proclaim loudly that your lips are the most amazing yet, even better than Angelina Jolie's. You smile your toothy horse smile and accidently bray at the crowd. The crowd begins to help you carry your gear home..... You recieve pats on the back and the mayor presents you with a key to the town.

heh

You revel at the comparison to Angelina Jolie and immediatley feel the need to get a tattoo and step into the tat parlor, for some reason you want to get one that says Billy but you have no idea why since you don't know any Billys so you settle for the lower back tat that says Billy in chinese. You scoff to your self that no one will know it says Billy.

Unforutunately, you immediately run into an old school chum who speaks chinese. They immediately ask you "who is Billy". You make up some random story explaining that he is some unrequited love from waaaaay back when. When your chum asks you exactly when... you start gasping and wheezing and making strange gibberish sounds and go running down the hill screaming for your mommy.

Fortunately, you hear the 18 wheeler blaring its horn for you to watch out! :eek:

and you watch the big rig go by and wonder what it would be like to be a trucker and the open road, your uncle used to be a trucker, that is untill the accident, he had been hauling chickens to the plant when his rig jacknifed and he flipped over onto another rig carrying hay, well the hay caught fire and there was the biggest chicken roast that town had ever seen, you uncle had been able to save one of the birds from the inferno and kept him as a pet in his condo and walked it like a dog.

You think you would like to be one of those big rig tow trucks , the driver that is , or perhaps a ballerina you had always been able to kick your legs high and grace was practically your middle name, not really though your middle name was Brandi, and you could see that name in lights, that name would be good for the stage.

You joined a adhd forum and tried to become a member in the secret sub groups pass word protected but you were turned away since you have two warnings and hence sub par person deemed unacceptable risk due to the stringent membership qualifcations