When I am on meds, I feel like I am a greater me that encompasses the unmedicated me. But when I wake up (unmedicated of course) everything I felt while on the meds seems incomprehensible to me. It is analagous to when I was depressed-- I could fully understand the meaninglessness of life. When I am not depressed, the meaninglessness is completely incomprehensible though. So what do these meds do, they're stimulants and all. Am I getting a 'high' that is closer to being undescriptive of reality than being descriptive of reality?

I just recently started my meds so perhaps this is just part of getting used to them but my non-medicated self really cannot understand how my medicated self functions although I can imagine how other non-ADD people function.

How are you supposed to feel while on meds anyway? I still feel the capacity to be lazy and the capacity to procrastinate, I don't know whether I am able to conquer these temptations because of a placebo effect or because of an actual difference that the meds make. Even when I was unmedicated I could do things through an effort of the will. So I can do them now, and I don't know whether it is because I think I should be able to and that I don't really have ADHD or because I do have ADHD and I am getting reilief. It is rather bothersome, just thinking about it over and over again. Whether I am medicated or not I cannot find a way to test the difference between the two scenarios. Anyone have suggestions?

I take anti depressants. Without them I am worthless and weapy. I need to take ADD stims but I am too lazy to go to a shrink (plus I hate them). I once took Ridlin for a few days, years ago, and I felt like I was on meth, like super man. I hated it so I stopped. I hear that you do feel euphoric for a week then you mellow out and think clearer, I dunno, I quit too soon I guess.

Maybe living with ADHD for most of my life has simply numbed me to the realization that I am failing or succeeding at overcoming things like laziness and procrastination. Even when on meds I may spend 15 more minutes doing something than I expected. I still feel different, but I still procrastinate. I am fearing that my being 'cured' of ADHD is like having paralysis cured only to find out that you have serious muscle dystrophy.

When I am on meds, I feel like I am a greater me that encompasses the unmedicated me. But when I wake up (unmedicated of course) everything I felt while on the meds seems incomprehensible to me. It is analagous to when I was depressed-- I could fully understand the meaninglessness of life. When I am not depressed, the meaninglessness is completely incomprehensible though. So what do these meds do, they're stimulants and all. Am I getting a 'high' that is closer to being undescriptive of reality than being descriptive of reality? Ok I can only speak for myself here, please bear in mind that I take antidepressents and a higher-than-"recommended" dose of stimulants. Here we go:

On meds I do not feel like any type of greater me. I feel like a more focused me, a less distracted me, but still feel like me. For examples sake, let's consider that I am a housewife (hate that term!) and do most of the cleaning.

I can clean unmedicated through sheer force of will, but its terribly exhausting. I am talking bone-weak unable to talk without drooling tired here. My unmedicated state makes the simplest tasks grueling torture due to lack of focus. I run from place to place, see the entire house needs cleaning, and cannot break "house" down into "rooms".

I can also clean medicated, and its not quite as exhausting. If the brain says "Hey, let's run!" I can resist that urge for the moment- "Yea running sounds great, but I want to finish cleaning the kitchen right now. I might run later." :)- I do NOT find cleaning to be fun or interesting or any less tedious while medicated however. I do it because it needs to be done, meds or no meds, but the meds leave me some room to breathe so to speak. Its not as exhausting because I can stay on task for a bit.

Here's my partner's spin on things, perhaps that will be useful:

"You are like a flashlight, the type that can narrow the beam when the end is twisted. Sometimes, to me, you look like somebody twisted the end way to much, trying to get a wider angle of light and instead went too far and now the light is too diffuse to see anything at all.
And if I am understanding you here, then hyperfocus is when the beam is so narrow that all you can see is that tiny area of light.
NonADDers have selfregulating flashlights, and you don't, and the medicine lets you "see", provides proper lighting but you don't know what to make of what you see then because you are so used to inconsistant lighting."

I just recently started my meds so perhaps this is just part of getting used to them but my non-medicated self really cannot understand how my medicated self functions although I can imagine how other non-ADD people function. For you this might be true, yes. It could be part of adjusting to meds :) and you might just find this gets easier as time goes by.

For me the difference between meds vs. no-meds was immediate and profound. Of course I have to add that the doc likes to say I am a severe case :D and I agree with him. If there is some bellcurve out there for degrees of impairment, I sure am closer to the extreme end than the mildly impaired end.

So I just let that be what it is, ya know? The unmedicated me is able to let that go, because the difference the meds will make after I take them is going to be so noticible to me that I don't have to understand how it works. All I have to do is be grateful that it works at all!

And if you are able to imagine how nonADDers function, then you are way further along the process than I am, my friend. So give yourself a pat on the back for that! I don't know if I will ever be able to imagine how they function, I might get a glimpse of what focus means on my meds, but clearly there is some difference that remains that I am blind to. I am still ME, and meds or no meds, I don't make sense to them and they don't make sense to me. I strive to bridge that gap daily.

How are you supposed to feel while on meds anyway? I still feel the capacity to be lazy and the capacity to procrastinate, I don't know whether I am able to conquer these temptations because of a placebo effect or because of an actual difference that the meds make. Even when I was unmedicated I could do things through an effort of the will. So I can do them now, and I don't know whether it is because I think I should be able to and that I don't really have ADHD or because I do have ADHD and I am getting reilief. It is rather bothersome, just thinking about it over and over again. Whether I am medicated or not I cannot find a way to test the difference between the two scenarios. Anyone have suggestions?Again, I speak only from my vantage point. I am still able to procrastinate, sure I am! One way or the other, I just plain hate some things, get bored by some things, find some things inane and thankless. I believe that for me the difference between meds vs. no-meds is that I can tackle that without completely zoning out for several hours ;). Its a great balancing act and I lose balance easily either way. The meds allow me to make a choice though. It is within my control to some extent how I choose to proceed with boring and inane and thankless, and when unmedicated that does not happen often if ever at all. I am better able to act on meds as opposed to just reacting. The meds give me the clarity to learn what is within my capabilities and what is not, they have not givin me the skills, just given the opportunity to learn what I need to learn to function in a manner that will replace 40 years of untreated ADHD and all the poor coping mechanisms and such that I used when unmedicated.

How are you supposed to feel while on meds anyway? I still feel the capacity to be lazy and the capacity to procrastinate, I don't know whether I am able to conquer these temptations because of a placebo effect or because of an actual difference that the meds make. My experience (which is only about 10 days on Adderall) is that I feel virtually nothing. I've found myself wondering if I even remembered to take it in the morning. I can tell that I did, however, because things like this happen: I change out of my work clothes, start to toss them on the bed... wait. Toss them on the bed? That's dumb - it takes very little time and effort to hang them up. So I hang them up.

Or I'll use a tool, and, after I've finished with it, I'll... um... simply put it away. Doh! You mean I didn't just leave it somewhere absent mindedly so I'd have to go looking for it the next time? And I didn't just add to the pile of crap on the kitchen table? You mean I actually took the ten seconds necessary to put it away and it didn't drain the last of my life energy?

For me, those kinds of things are way too distinct for it to be a placebo effect. (Although I had wondered if it was a placebo effect at first.)

I seem to be more aware of what I'm doing and simple actions aren't such a big effort - consequently I chose to do things that are more efficient (like putting stuff away after I've used it.) And it's surprisingly natural. I don't even really have to think about it - it's not some kind of crack-the-whip retraining effort.

[Since I feel almost nothing from the medication (no physical sensations or mood shift) I am aware that I've taken it almost exclusively by observing my actions. This has given me the odd sense that somehow the world has changed, not me. Tasks made themselves easier - it didn't get easier for me to do them. Not true, of course, but an odd sensation.]

I can clean unmedicated through sheer force of will, but its terribly exhausting.
I can relate to that. Totally. Ug.

I do feel only slightly different on the meds. When they kick in, I'll have a strong desire to "do something", so I'll start doing something, although it might not always be the right thing.. I've gotten pretty good at channelling it into the right thing, and the meds have really helped me at work. Also once I start to do something on the meds, I tend to stay focused on it and have a hard time switching to something else. Even getting up to get food or drink might get delayed because I'm so focused on the task.

When I'm not on meds, I'm unpredictable. I am sometimes able to start a task (the right task) and stay focused on it. But too often I just procrastinate starting the task I'm supposed to do, and get distracted by the internet or something. I'll want to work on what I'm supposed to do, but I just keep procrastinating.

for me its been an constant pro and cons comparison. in the beginning and now 4 months later.
i dont know which med you take but mine is ritalin, which imo has a lot of undesireable effects for me. but i most certainly benefit from the positive effects. mainly increase of attention and focus, drive, energy, dosing of activity and some mild anxiety relieve.

to bad methylphenidate feels very artificial and onreal which could be characteristic to MPH.

but i am 100 % sure i am less fatigued then with my former lifestyle which drained my energy. i would get things done just like you mentioned, mostly things with priority: work and alike. but i litterally began burnin up i noticed when my mood dropped and my social life started to die. luckily i was allready in a proces of seeking help.

the meds got some of this in balance, and so did the psychelogical coaching, and a lot of looking in the mirror. but i am not where i want to be yet!

there is a lot that meds wont fix. cleaning up the results of 33 years of unnoticed ad(h)d and probably some minor comorditys.