Does anyone have serious difficulty trying to explain something to another person?

If I have an idea and want to share it, or have an opinion and someone asks for it, I have so much difficulty explaining it.

Sometimes its so bad I actually can't talk properly and no real words come out my mouth and its really embarrasing.

Its like, this is the best way I think I can put it... It's like trying to desrcibe a dream to someone, a dream you can't really remember and putting it into words for them to understand is just impossible. All the details are fuzzy and you can't get the right words.

And all these ideas pop up in my head when im asked a question and I have trouble organising them in my head to make sense...

Does this make any sense to anyone?
Does this happen to anyone else? If so, how do you dealwith it?

I have trouble explaining things to people too. One thing I do is model or show an example when I can, then talk through the example, or I compare it to something.

For instance, if I'm trying to explain how to get somewhere, I write it down and draw a map when I can, and talk through it while I'm drawing.

Yes, for sure, definately. It drives me nuts. An idea sounds so good in my head but I present it in such a shoddy way that people don't really believe in it or understand it.

As my father used to sey (in not such polite terms) think about what you are going to say, focus on your idea and expand it, think how you would like it explained to you.

Dont be afraid to hesitate, and if you accidently interrupt someone go back to them when you have QUITE finished (hee hee) and say 'sorry, what were you saying?'

Once they realise that your idea isn't at the expense of attention to theirs, then they will be prepared to dwell on your idea too and brainstorm it. Don't be afriad of reexplaininng yourself if you didn't do such a good job the first time, and try not to get intimidated. I have found that people make huge allowances for me like this. Even better, if they see me struggling after a while they help me.

Thant's the best I got for ya...but yeah, heaps difficult.

I have plainly explained this tendency of mine to people I regularly interact with and apologised for being frustrating, that its not my intention to frustrate and asked them to please ask questions and allow me to answer them if they get lost. I can't help this tendency all the time and they know that, so I have to allow them to interrupt me at times and say "Wait! What did that mean?" and hope they can redirect me if I lose my train of thought.

I use a lot of analogies, tons of them. I admit when I cannot get the thoughts from brain to mouth and accept that will sometimes happen to me. I expect others to understand that I am human and expect them to be human too ;). If I get frustrated I ask for some time to think harder and sometimes I have to write it out then read it back.

HTH!

Crazy :)

Here Here i'm the same, it can get very frustrating, it's like i know what i want to say in my head but it never seems to come out right or even when i write it down i have trouble with that too.

It's mad i go to see a psychairtrist and when i try to explain how i feel it never seems to sound right, i just want to leave as soon as possible!

I'm finding it even harder to explain myself since i came off medication! :(

I think we all know how you feel, my 13 yr old son has trouble aswell, this has a lot to do with why he get's in trouble at school, he's having an assessment at the momment and someone has mentioned that he should have a speech and language assessment aswell.

Thanks for your replys :D

Its nice to know other people do it too and you all understand what I go through trying to explain things. Now I have to try and get other people to understand, that might be a bit difficult though.

I mean I'll have to say something like.... "Sorry If this comes out wrong because I can't put my thoughts into words...." How stupid does that sound? I know Im not stupid, but it's so hard not to sound stupid lol.

Hmmm try leaving off the apology bit, Boone? How about:

Sometimes I have difficulty getting my thoughts out in words, ya know. I don't mean to frustrate anyone but this happens with me a lot. Just giving ya the heads up before we begin so if I lose ya, just ask questions and I won't be mad.

Thanks crazy~feet! I feel much better about talking to people now I know what I should say to help them understand the difficulties I have in explaining things.

Rehearsal has become a way of life for me Boone :) its all good. Glad I was helpful, its one of the many reasons I hang around this place so much. Thanks for letting me know I succeeded in that today (I like support and feedback as much as the next person).

Crazy :)

Oh, I totally have difficulty getting my thoughts organized, and it can be so incredibly frustrating! I always seem to struggle with word retrieval/word finding, especially when I become excited/nervous/anxious...oh, who am I kidding? It happens no matter what emotions I am exhibiting! :)

I struggle with explaining concepts to others without rehearsal. It seems that I can't explain something and stay on the same line/plane of thought throughout, as well as mixing up words, stalling, etc. It's usually better that I write explanations out or draw pictures as each of these allows me to organize my thoughts. Even then, most want step-by-step, procedural instructions, not conceptual models (which is the way I think best).

I like to think of it as buffer-underrun, and it happens more when you limit the bandwidth of data coming in (linearizing the thinking).

There is nothing wrong with walking around with a yellow legal pad or notebook. Before I engage a client or get into an important conversation, I write down the highlights of what I want to say and what the end result of the phone call should be, and what information I expect to gather before hanging up or leaving the interview.

This has saved me many times and the times that I forget to do it, I generally miss something.

Nothing wrong with preparation and specific execution.

Most people don't wait for me to get it out.......the conversation just moves way too fast. I'm a bit of a group-conversational bore. And, if I do get going, if i'm interupted, the thought is toast. The next best thing is a garbled concoction of sounds coming out of my mouth. Not much ever off the cuff or quick of wit, or lord forbid and emergency. Ack! I rehears a lot of conversations in the shower.........

People don't seem to wait for me either, and when someone is talking and I get a thought, by the time I get a turn to speak, I can't remember what I thought about no matter how hard I try. So whenever I get a thought, I feel the need to act on it immediatly regardless of the fact the someones talking.

Then when I do get my thought out it comes up scrambled up like "I like I when It play game" Instead of "I like it when I play games." and I sound a total idiot.

I totally understand what you mean. Sometimes, I try to say something and I feel like the other person isn't understanding what I am saying. Next thing I know, I am like a broken record, I repeat it and then start blurbing out um's and stuff. I found one way to handle it is to laugh at myself, it helps me not feel so tense. Then, I usually make a joke, like, "Whew, I need to lay off that coffee."

I like top kat's way of carrying around a notebook. I am going to try that. Hopefully, it will help.:faint:

Its like, this is the best way I think I can put it... It's like trying to desrcibe a dream to someone, a dream you can't really remember and putting it into words for them to understand is just impossible. All the details are fuzzy and you can't get the right words.For new material or a recent event, this is an excellent description.

In a very real sense, try removing any situation which involves words <-out-> and place them to one side ... now imagine a purely visual event ...one which you haven't described to anyone previously, or even to yourself... ---remember no words!--- and you have a dream .of.sorts. and the first act of reconstructing that rrreal dream to another (communication) feels just like a dream you [[can't really remember ... or rather, describe in its true majesty, with its true richness, using the correct shades and colours, hues]] ... putting the dreams into words for them to understand is just [[impossible ... not through any fault of yours though - on the contrary - you are describing a colour scene to those with only black and white vision]] ... communication is bilateral ... and only works if the words which are used by the speaker trigger the same thoughts in the listener, and so imagine ... your complex multidimensionally arrayed data store (your mind) ... your mind needs to construct its own linguistic model (words) ... to describe that event to yourself (and resolution will be lost at this stage) ... since words cannot capture the majesty of experience (although more so in the ADDer) ... the details are fuzzy and you can't get the right words and then those words need to be modified into a form which will convey essence to another.
The ADDer has a closer correspondence between the visual experience and its recapitulation in words ... the ADDer has a richer mindscape ... and the ADDer can communicate this richer reality ... ADDer to ADDer ... ADD represents an evolutionary change which mirrors the shift from pre-mind to mind (50k years ago) with spoken language ... to mind with written language (10k years ago).
Simply - the ADD mind is capable of storing a richer encoding of rrreality, and this richer encoding of rrreality *may* be communicated *only* to other ADDers.
Imagine a 320kbps mp3 played on a 16kbps player ... ... ...
We currently live in a 16kbps loud speaker ... and need our 320kbps encoding to be played at higher resolution ...
... ... ... and I have trouble organising them in my head to make sense... unsurprising that it may appear this way to you - but remember ... you are [1]-reconstructing an event (on the fly) using a reconstruction (of rrreal memories into counterpart linguistically encoded models) engine (your mind as mp3 ripper) [the ADDer mind is capable of generating much higher fidelity recordings] ... and then attempting to [2]-retain the fidelity ... ...
[[nonADDer thought processes may appear to deliver results more quickly - though represent [1]-lower individual internal encoding rates (32kbps) [2]-a greatly reduced subconscious awareness and hence drive towards the idea that communication is only effective --- if 'you know what I mean' and 'I know what you mean' ... ' when I say, you say ... 'we speak' ...]]
... communication becomes harder as the memory diverges from past (linguistically encoded) experience, as the individual with whom you are communicating is less known to you (shares less common experiences), as that person exhibits less ADD style thought processes ... ... ... ... ... ... partial explanation of why we're 1:1'ers ... the other 1, being that special one other (often) ... being ... ... ... {signature} ...

SB_UK, good job, as usual. You have reminded me of something that was discussed during my assessment for ADHD. I told the psychiatrist that some people criticize me for using too much detail; example: "When I ask for the time, don't build me a clock."
The psychiatrist kindly said, "Perhaps you just want to describe things in as much detail as possible." The dear man turned a negative into a positive and I loved him for it.

!~*~dances to SB's 320kbps mp3 player and cares not why because it sounds good to me~*~!

:-) Cray

!~*~dances to SB's 320kbps mp3 player and cares not why because it sounds good to me~*~!

:-) Cray
Cool! :cool:

Cool! :cool:Thanks...wanna dance with me? :cool:

{{I just love that hamster of his don't you?}}

Thanks...wanna dance with me? :cool:

{{I just love that hamster of his don't you?}}
"I know nothing except what everyone knows - if there when grace dances, I should dance."
W.H. Auden

I found this problem became much more apparent after regular THC intake. Evil, evil stuff, especially for the ADDer.

In a very real sense, try removing any situation which involves words <-out-> and place them to one side ... now imagine a purely visual event ...one which you haven't described to anyone previously, or even to yourself... ---remember no words!--- and you have a dream .of.sorts. and the first act of reconstructing that rrreal dream to another (communication) feels just like a dream you [[can't really remember ... or rather, describe in its true majesty, with its true richness, using the correct shades and colours, hues]] ... putting the dreams into words for them to understand is just [[impossible ... not through any fault of yours though - on the contrary - you are describing a colour scene to those with only black and white vision]] ... communication is bilateral ... and only works if the words which are used by the speaker trigger the same thoughts in the listener, and so imagine ... your complex multidimensionally arrayed data store (your mind) ... your mind needs to construct its own linguistic model (words) ... to describe that event to yourself (and resolution will be lost at this stage) ... since words cannot capture the majesty of experience (although more so in the ADDer) ... the details are fuzzy and you can't get the right words and then those words need to be modified into a form which will convey essence to another.
The ADDer has a closer correspondence between the visual experience and its recapitulation in words ... the ADDer has a richer mindscape ... and the ADDer can communicate this richer reality ... ADDer to ADDer ... ADD represents an evolutionary change which mirrors the shift from pre-mind to mind (50k years ago) with spoken language ... to mind with written language (10k years ago).
Simply - the ADD mind is capable of storing a richer encoding of rrreality, and this richer encoding of rrreality *may* be communicated *only* to other ADDers.
Imagine a 320kbps mp3 played on a 16kbps player ... ... ...
We currently live in a 16kbps loud speaker ... and need our 320kbps encoding to be played at higher resolution ...
... ... ... and I have trouble organising them in my head to make sense... unsurprising that it may appear this way to you - but remember ... you are [1]-reconstructing an event (on the fly) using a reconstruction (of rrreal memories into counterpart linguistically encoded models) engine (your mind as mp3 ripper) [the ADDer mind is capable of generating much higher fidelity recordings] ... and then attempting to [2]-retain the fidelity ... ...
[[nonADDer thought processes may appear to deliver results more quickly - though represent [1]-lower individual internal encoding rates (32kbps) [2]-a greatly reduced subconscious awareness and hence drive towards the idea that communication is only effective --- if 'you know what I mean' and 'I know what you mean' ... ' when I say, you say ... 'we speak' ...]]
... communication becomes harder as the memory diverges from past (linguistically encoded) experience, as the individual with whom you are communicating is less known to you (shares less common experiences), as that person exhibits less ADD style thought processes ... ... ... ... ... ... partial explanation of why we're 1:1'ers ... the other 1, being that special one other (often) ... being ... ... ... {signature} ...
Wow that was really interesting to read. :D Thanks SB_UK!

the way it happens to me is either I 'scatter' when I talk and go off subject or I guess I cant make out words... thats why my doctor doesn't mind putting me on 90 mg of dexedrine because that is the only way I can talk or think straight for that matter

Thank God I'm not alone trying to express thoughts to others. I too, have to practice what I'm going to say. But, that doesn't always work. Why, because I don't always know what the topic of conversation will be. :eyebrow:

Zena

I can never explain anything to someone verbally. I sometimes even refer to drawing stick figures and actions on paper.

hello all,

I can relate! This particular trait has caused me much difficulty and frustration. I continually feel unfufilled when I walk away from conversations because I have not been able to contribute in the way that others can and for me not at all!!! Its had a huge effect on my confidence to approach new situations. Its as if nothing is really clear, like you said sbuk, like trying to explain a very fuzzy and cloudy dream. I have often wondered if this trait could somehow be improved upon, if all my foggyness, memory lack, unsequential logic and jumbled thoughts could be transformed into clarity and well rounded articulation. I hope it can although I must admit I no longer contain the faith that I use to, before I became aware of these frustrating limitations!

I once read book by a marvelous poet and narrater. I forget the name now, suprise, suprise. His book was about his life, a hard life of parental abandonement, orphanages, abusive foster parents, crime, juvinele hall and eventually prison whereby he tells the story of how he had to kill in order to not be killed and to survive almost being killed himself, not such a rare thing in our fed pens. The beautiful thing about this story is that he learns to write in prison, so well that he later publishes his autobiography and wins numerous awards for his poetry and goes on to teach the art of poetry to the nations youth, kids simular to how he once was.

The point, apart from being an inspiring story, is that he entered prison, uneducated, no school whatsoever, illiterate, unable to read and write and came out an well written, award winning and heart moving writer.

Again I often wonder how much one can improve the state of ones intellect? How hardwired are we? How moldable are our intellectual abilitys?

And how do I compare such accomplishments with my daily frustrating stumble espesialy when the tasks of mere contemplation are so damm difficult!!!

I would love to hear of more succsess storys.

All the best, Alex.