I am very protective of my kids, especially because of their disabilities.

Yesterday my daughter went to her friends house after school (she's 8 years old). When her friends mother dropped her home she informed me that Christie and her friend had walked down the shops on their own. I was mortified as I never even let her out the front door without supervision and I always hold her hand in carparks as she has no road sense. I am furious that she was allowed to be placed in a situation where something could have happened to her and it makes me feel sick thinking about it. We don't live in the safest suburb.

I was furious with Christie for doing that as she know right from wrong but I'm more furious with her friends mother as she had my child in her care. Every time something has happened to our kids has been when they have been in the care of someone else. We don't give our kids the opportunity to get hurt.

I haven't been in this situation before (it's only ever been family) so I'm not sure about how to go about telling her that I don't want Christie playing there again. Any ideas? Any thoughts? How would you react? What would you do?

I would be straightforward and blunt about it. If she doesn't like it, what's more important - your child's safety or this person's approval?

Everybody has different ideas about how to raise kids. Clearly your daughter's friend's mothers are quite different than your own. I think you should respect her methods of raising her kid, and expect the same respect back for your own.

I am also a very "carefull" parent, having had a very "carefull" parent.

But we had a neighbor whose 2 year old child played in the street while ours certainly did not. Both have made it to 14 years.

I try to sit myself down, and review carefully if "real" danger has been present or simply my ability to "see potential danger" and to se it perhaps more vividly than it actually exists in the world of my children.

For instance, the CAR is the biggest threat to them... larger than all others. I put them in without hesitation.

I talk it over with my wife, who, thankfully, both shares some of my concerns, and does not. On occaision I force myself to accept the practices of others because, despite my palpable fears, the real risk (of abduction in groups, for instance) is ludicrously small compared to other bad choices that might be made by my children or other adults into whom I place their care and my faith and trust.

I do discuss frankly what i am and am not comfortable with, but, so careful am I, I try to yield to those less careful, when doing so does not consist of actual danger, but rather what I can imagine.

It is a struggle, but i think my kids are better off for the variety.

Originally posted by tudorose
I am very protective of my kids, especially because of their disabilities.

I haven't been in this situation before (it's only ever been family) so I'm not sure about how to go about telling her that I don't want Christie playing there again under those guidelines.. Any ideas? Any thoughts? How would you react? What would you do?

Discuss plainly her lack of road sense. Encourage her to hold hands with her girl friends when crossing. practice rules and watch.

I restricted my son from some activities when not observed by me because he did not notice cars weel enough when he was on his bicycle. He out grew that, but it took a year or two longer than some of his friends. he also went through a period of being TOO careful, and even fearful, which wasn't what I was trying to acheive.

It is not an easy position, bu rather than remove that friend and venue, I'd try to work something out explicitly with the other parents.