Note to readers: Pay no attention to the man in the monkey suit!
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Argh....Well, I'm looking for a job....AGAIN. It seems like I have been doing this for half my life. You know what kills me? I have never been fired or let go because of my work. Its been the economy, or the business got sold, etc. etc.

I've been looking for a job since June 2002. In the interim, I have done some consulting work, and am currently registering for a CISSP training class and examination (Industry certification).

But because of what has happened in the economy in the US in the Tech sector, the only jobs that seem to be open are entry level positions, or ones that require expertise or experience I dont have. Since there are thousands of people looking at the same job opportunities as I am, recruiters are very VERY picky about who they will now introduce to a client. Arghh.

Now everyone and my inlaws are telling me to look elsewhere, try something new. My ex-headhunter tells me that maybe the market isnt looking for what I offer today, and that I should shift focus to something else. Dammit, I wish someone would have told me that before I spent all this time, and my savings, while looking for a job in my area of experience.

I feel like a failure for not being able to find a job. I feel like I've failed my family, and I feel like I've failed myself. To top it all off, since I have switched meds, I have begun to feel more emotion now than I have felt in years. So I am a mess...lol.

48 hours ago I was so confident in my abilities and skills, and felt assured that something would break in the market. 2 days later, and I am doubting my every move. :sigh:

Now I'm depressed, have spent alot of money on the upcoming training course and test fees, and it may not even amount to a job. I am so lost.

Thanks for letting me rant and rave. I'll be fine. :)

Ok so lemme see if I have this right......you are busting your hiney to get to a more secure finacial place right now. You have been hearing alot of negative input. You are being told you probably can't do it and should give up. Now match that to the fears and worries already in your head and you have a real pile of dooky on your hands. That sounds pretty damn depressing to me. Sounds like your reacting like a normal "hoo man bean"

I'm not in any way trying to minimize what you are up against, by any means, I just am trying to show that you are hearing alot of negative statements, and none too many helpful directions etc. You ARE doing everything possible, you ARE working hard and smart, you ARE going to get out of this and land on your feet as you always do.

If you want, I'll give you my job....you have to suck spit with a hose and laugh at docs dumb jokes. lemme know.

LMAO....thank you :) Hugss Crissy

Hi Big,
I'm new here and noticed you're one of the leaders here. That's a "job" you should be proud of. Work has been the bane of my existence, too. I realize what I think is lost (but maybe not forever) potential and it makes me sad, for a little while. I wonder how many of us beat ourselves up trying to put ourselves in jobs that aren't really suited for us. I feel for you in your situation and wish you the best. In the meantime, give yourself a break and know that things always turn out alright somehow....
S.

Okay, I'm job hunting too Andrew. And the lady who said she would call me at 5:30 my time tonight for an interview did not call...and then she had the nerve to e-mail me later and say, "so the California traffic was a strain on you, huh"? suggesting that I missed the appointment.....when I had waited for HER to call...so she suggested in her e-mail another time....anyway, I was at my phone waiting for her to call tongiht and the phone was NOT ringing...anyway...job hunting is frustrating....maybe I'm supposed to take time off first....after all I'm just now graduating...but I'm SO tired of being poor...and I just feel antsy to start working...yet, perhaps if I jump right into a job, I'll burn out fast...yet if I take some time off and slowly look for a job, that would be better...who knows? Perhaps I should let the universe guide me...but I so would like to return to Florida with a job lined up..and I want to return to florida ASAP. It's nice to vent here....:)

And you still have the apple, right? Or did you have to eat it after all that thinking? Interesting allusions, garden of eden, apples, etc. What if the ideas are stupid? Then you have 2 stupid ideas, a rapidly decaying apple core, and sticky fingers. Not exactly the necessities for success, though God knows businesses have been started with less...

But I digress- a lot.

Big, I don't know if you believe in God, but I've come to a point where I don't sweat next week, seeing as how God has taken care of me my whole life...

What med did you switch to? I am undiagnosed (officially- though I'm off the charts so far on every self-test I've taken) and unmedded and interested in your comment about "since I have switched meds, I have begun to feel more emotion now than I have felt in years." What meds were you on before?

Originally posted by aforceforgood
And you still have the apple, right? Or did you have to eat it after all that thinking? Interesting allusions, garden of eden, apples, etc. What if the ideas are stupid? Then you have 2 stupid ideas, a rapidly decaying apple core, and sticky fingers. Not exactly the necessities for success, though God knows businesses have been started with less...


Guess what aforceforgood? I didn't write this quote...!! In fact none of my quotes are original. They all come from a collection of thousands my grandmother had saved over the years. So I take no responsbility for the way it might sound to you. But thanks for sharing your thoughts. :) and yes I would say you digressed:)
But please eat apples. They have incredible nutritional benefits...isoflavones, phytochemicals, etc. which will prevent diseases in you that you don't want when you are old. Perhaps your fingers will get sticky but hey, that's the price you pay in life sometimes for reading ideas that are stupid:) now I guess it was me who digressed.

Originally posted by aforceforgood
What med did you switch to? I am undiagnosed (officially- though I'm off the charts so far on every self-test I've taken) and unmedded and interested in your comment about "since I have switched meds, I have begun to feel more emotion now than I have felt in years." What meds were you on before?

I was on Ritalin for 11+ years, and over time, I lost the ability to laugh, feel happiness, really felt emotionally void. I changed to Strattera some months ago, and as I said earlier, am more in touch with my emotions than I have been in a while.

Originally posted by SandiRella
Hi Big,
I'm new here and noticed you're one of the leaders here. That's a "job" you should be proud of. Work has been the bane of my existence, too. I realize what I think is lost (but maybe not forever) potential and it makes me sad, for a little while. I wonder how many of us beat ourselves up trying to put ourselves in jobs that aren't really suited for us. I feel for you in your situation and wish you the best. In the meantime, give yourself a break and know that things always turn out alright somehow....
S.

Thanks for the kind words, Sandi :)

Big, this is from the "Something to ponder" thread, I just wanted to make sure you saw it, I hope it helps you feel better.

Reminds me of stories my friend who was in the peace corps would tell me about Rwanda. Any day living in America is a pretty good one if you look at it from that viewpoint.

Big, this especially refers to you about now, being down re; your job situation and all- get your headspace into that of a person who lives there, and then wander around your house and see the miracles we live with and take for granted;

indoor plumbing (flush toilets!)

toilet paper!

telephony

computer

internet

air conditioning

heater

refridgerator

bed

etc.

Thanks, aforce :)

The indoor plumbing, air conditioning and Internet "miracles" certainly kept me going through these tough times. I'm happy to report that I have finally secured a job in my area of expertise. I start next week :D

Thanks for all the kind and supportive words, everyone :)

Andrew my heart goes out to you. I am in a predicament but Im fortunate to have my parents support. BUT. I have shut myself out of almost all but 2 of my friends lives. I help out around the house, my parents love having me here. My issue is that I dont know what I want to do, and I fear office environments. Honestly I just fear getting fired/terminated/let go AGAIN (3 so far).

I honestly dont know what I would do without this website. I generally read a lot more than I post, but its like Im reading my own post replies its amazing. And its such a relief to know Im not alone. I love being the go to gal for programming my dads ipod I got him, teaching my mom how to use her new laptop and things of that nature. But I dont know if I could do it for a living. At least you know what you want to do! : ) I would give anything to know what it is I should be doing for work.