sfallie
07-11-06, 04:03 AM
Hi everyone, I'm new to these forums and new to dealing with ADHD in general. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and we have a very loving, communicating, and committed relationship. He told me a long time ago that he had ADD but would refuse to talk about it indepth. Just now we're starting to discuss it more. Since he's been in such denial about it even since his childhood, neither of us really know what to expect.
He's very "quirky" so to speak and I'm not sure how much of his traits are him or the add. I get confused because he's not hyperactive at all. In fact, he's a pretty mellow guy. I've read the stock list of ADD symptoms from general websites but his don't seem to match exactly. Most of the "traits" come out conversationally more than anything else. Here's a list of a few things that I've always wondered about:
-He often zones out in conversations
-He has difficulty staying on topic in conversation. He'll sometimes give responses to questions that are vaguely related to what was being asked.
-He stumbles on names and places a lot.
I love him and I want to be with him, it's just difficult at times. I firmly believe that solid relationships are built a lot on solid communication. But that because difficult at times because I often feel like I'm playing this game of keeping his wandering mind focused. I'm used to having lengthy conversations, but with him I feel like I have to limit my word usage in order to keep his attention, otherwise he'll just drift away and forget the first half of what I just said. He's not getting treated simply because he just graduated college and doesn't have insurance as of yet.
Like I said, I love him and I don't look down on him at all for having this (it's a common insecurity of his), I'm just looking for tips, advice and support on being in this type of a relationship. Thanks everyone.
He's very "quirky" so to speak and I'm not sure how much of his traits are him or the add. I get confused because he's not hyperactive at all. In fact, he's a pretty mellow guy. I've read the stock list of ADD symptoms from general websites but his don't seem to match exactly. Most of the "traits" come out conversationally more than anything else. Here's a list of a few things that I've always wondered about:
-He often zones out in conversations
-He has difficulty staying on topic in conversation. He'll sometimes give responses to questions that are vaguely related to what was being asked.
-He stumbles on names and places a lot.
I love him and I want to be with him, it's just difficult at times. I firmly believe that solid relationships are built a lot on solid communication. But that because difficult at times because I often feel like I'm playing this game of keeping his wandering mind focused. I'm used to having lengthy conversations, but with him I feel like I have to limit my word usage in order to keep his attention, otherwise he'll just drift away and forget the first half of what I just said. He's not getting treated simply because he just graduated college and doesn't have insurance as of yet.
Like I said, I love him and I don't look down on him at all for having this (it's a common insecurity of his), I'm just looking for tips, advice and support on being in this type of a relationship. Thanks everyone.