i just had a 'dicussion' with a person who is living life as linearly as society can allow.

yep you guessed it, my head is i would say killing me but it isn't painful, i have a feeling of pressure around the right temple and i feel so over stimulated it's untrue, every movement i make, everything i touch, i can feel more, my voice in my head has seemed to temporarily found words to type, poetry in irony fore played through confusion.

last line makes sense to no one, it more brings on creation sparked by curiosity and abstract thought.

like one line to two lines, three to four.

linear thinking is clear cut the way things 'should' be, the way in which makes people happier, more successful, more persuadable.

this person i had the discussion with, had a troubled childhood, alone in the dark with not even an apperence of support, he has had an upbringing that rivals most, he has alot of anger, i mean alot of anger, the anger motivates him, it's painful to see, he doesn't see the anger that leads him through his past but a barrier which he believes he has conquered because lets face it ladies and gentlemen, if your successful you've jumped every hurdle you've climbed every mountain, you've seen every view, this guy travels a bit, he sees through eyes with military training since past, eyes that seek tranquility in places advertised as relaxing calm, a past of anger spurs a soul seeking a tranquility never found, but a peace that the body can live with. Peace is a prospect that i find to be a rest of the body, tranquility calmness, beauty, these are things i believe can only be found by a mind thats willing to see it.

a little contrast to statisfy the viewers with eyes for answers:

this person was forced into a job of orchard picking at the age of 12 (of which he's recently found out), mother could deal with raising a child, could find no attachment that she could see clearly, his dad was a provider, a man to be respected, a man this guy looked up to, the person in question had a few jobs, with no direction, only the need to provide he choose women, he went into the military, programmed to fight, to protect, to serve a country which is falling apart from the seams whilest leaders look to solve problems that occur outside of their rein, now he has a family to which to provide for, i truely believe this man is as happy as he could possibly be, therapy would break him more than anything positive, he looks after everyone that shares the bloodline with him, a person thats happiest when he's providing.

me, well i'm pretty much the opposite, i've lived an incredibly sheltered life, brought up being told education is the key to which all doors can be opened, a key i needed to discover, a key i think i will always be looking for, unfortunately my open mindedness and need to see what all others see will be my downfall, i don't look for doors, only keys, as i find a key, i find the lock it fits into and then move on to finding another, always being told education is the key at a young age and never saying anything about a job until that person is in his teens makes it extremely differcult for that person to turn the key, let alone open the door.

as you can see, true opposites

forest verses leaf, battle verses war.

as i write this, i feel the pressure subside slightly, thoughts becomming once again the usual blur now all i feel is the slight deafness of which only jumping out and suprising a 3 year old girl can bring.

i got to go now, i'll probably never be able to say all that needs to be said but, not every story ends.

food for thought for hungry minds

hmmm...

linear thinking is clear cut the way things 'should' be, the way in which makes people happier, more successful, more persuadable.
I think this is an opinion. I don't think linear thinking makes everyone more happy and successful, and definitely not more persuadable. I believe that someone couldn't be persuadable if they are a linear thinker, unless the persuasion fits their goals.

this person i had the discussion with, had a troubled childhood, alone in the dark with not even an apperence of support, he has had an upbringing that rivals most, he has alot of anger, i mean alot of anger, the anger motivates him, it's painful to see, he doesn't see the anger that leads him through his past but a barrier which he believes he has conquered
me, well i'm pretty much the opposite, i've lived an incredibly sheltered life, brought up being told education is the key to which all doors can be opened, a key i needed to discover, a key i think i will always be looking for, unfortunately my open mindedness and need to see what all others see will be my downfall, i don't look for doors, only keys, as i find a key, i find the lock it fits into and then move on to finding another, always being told education is the key at a young age and never saying anything about a job until that person is in his teens makes it extremely differcult for that person to turn the key, let alone open the door.
I disagree with the idea of the key and door. I think most people who grow up in a middle class family are told that education is the key and I highly doubt that you made it all the way to your teens without knowing you would have to get a job. Maybe you didn't realize or accept it, but I guarantee you knew.

Having a strong desire to be a provider is a good thing, and I think that can be linked to you wanting to see what other see. That's a way of providing because you are trying to learn about them to help and understand them.

Everyone needs something to motivate them, to drive them. If someone is able to lead a happy, successful life using anger as motivation, as long as it doesn't hurt others, then who are we to say it's wrong?

Searching for tranquility and peace and actually finding it is so hard, particularly in today's society. I believe you and this person both are searching for this, just possibly in different ways. Or maybe even in the same way, you may just not realize it.

Sometimes people have the best of intentions in their mind, but they are unaware of better ways to achieve their goal. I don't think it's necessarily fair to hold lack of knowledge against someone, or think of that as a negative. It's a difference that either needs education to remedy, or understanding to forgive.

Don't count yourself out on account of a "sheltered childhood." I had an extremely sheltered childhood too. It's in your hands and is your responsibility to realize what you need to learn and do so you can move forward.

Dimension X...

I'm wishing you well and think that you are right about your friend! Hope you'll both experience alot more well deserved happiness.

Try not to over-think your life (career/job situation, etc.). There is something to be said for the acceptance of what is possible for us now...and alot to be said for easing our grip on the other life's we might have had...we should have...could have...would have had, if only...things had turned out differently...or we had done things differently...or we were wired differently, or raised differently...or......................

I'm trying to get there myself. Contentment would be so lovely.

Sincerely; Addeline

I think you're desire to see what others see isn't intrinsically flawed. You do it to increase your understanding and let people know they have your attention and support. I think maybe what's difficult about it is when you try your hardest to understand and you find that you don't, and you feel like you should. I don't think it's possible (at least not for most people) to understnad every person they meet in a complete way. It doesn't mean you should stop searching for keys, or that you've got it wrong.
I meet people all the time that i desperatly want to like completley. As if complete acceptance were the only markers of a good relationship. The truth is, you are the only one like you(cheesy and stupid, but true) and you will always run up against something in other people that you can't get past. It doesn't mean you are closed minded, or sheltered. i think maybe sometimes we try too hard to be everything for people, when in reality, people don't want you to be everything anyway.

If you can see that this person means well, that they do the best they can....if you understood nothing else about them, it could be enough.

It's hard to talk with someone who you are afraid to hurt . This person might have an idea of what he thinks is best for you, because he knows how hard things get when you don't know what you really want. but he might not deliver his opinions in the most supportive way, or in the way that you need. not really realizing the reality of getting a job and making a living until later in highschool may be a result of simply not knowing what you want to do, and being afraid that if you don't know what you want by a certain age you'll be stuck.
The world is a very demanding place and even people without ADD struggle a lot of the time. There's no simple or easy answer to it. I had an art teacher in highschool who wrote this in my yearbook:
"Good luck at MassArt, Ashley. Remember, Life's a journey, not a race."


Hang in there, man. You're doing all right;)

I'm sorry, I just realized my first post sounded a little harsh. I know you understand that I have said that out of love and wanting to help you.

It's true people look at things differently, but I think that while your means of getting achieving and expressing it are different, the fact that you and this person both care so much about providing for others and wanting them to be the best they can be is honorable.

I know it's hard to feel unprepared for life and life's expectations. Don't forget what you can do, and how much progress you are making. You accepting how wonderful and capable you are won't happen overnight, but I can see it starting to change. Keep taking one step at a time and remember that you don't have to know it all right now, but that you should do the best you can with everything you try.

Maybe, with time, you can come to a better understanding of this person and the idea that he is expressing his love and caring the best way he knows how. That may not line up with your ideas, but thinking alike is not essential, as long as (like Aizlyne said) you are able to keep in mind the motivations behind the actions.