View Full Version : jobs jobs and more jobs

07-21-06, 08:12 AM
the titles says it all about my life at work. i am 44 years old and in my life time i have had 12 different jobs. that means that on avrage i can only keep a job about two years. this is real frustrating as i have no retirement plan, no real job seceruty, i feel like i am floating. My 19 yo son just got a job that pays twice what i am making, and if i say that does not hurt, well i would be a liar. I just dont feel like i have any thing to show for where i am at in life. to be honist i am scared of what the future has in store for me and right now i really do not know where to turn.
I am sorry if i sound like i am on the pitty pot but I do have a job that i absolutly love and i really feel that i am good at it. I work in the recrational activity department at a nursing home. We are the ones that provide the leisure servises for the residents. Kind of like a cruise director in a nursing home. now the problems. First off is me. with my scattered adhd brain i am very unorganized and i leave things out all the time. Also i have problems compleating tasks that i have been assigned. the extra stuff, many times i forget about them or I procrastinate way to long and then it does not get done. tghe other thing it sometimes seems my boss is out to get me. nothing i do is good enough for her. It anything goes wrong i seem to get the blame. I ltry very hard to do my job and do it well. day before yesterday we had a moajor blow up. the set up for an outing we were going on was not done. I was not the only on on this job, but yet I was the one that thek work seemed to fall on and i did not think that that was fair, and instead of telling her in a calm and constructive mannor i allowed my self to melt down. Infront of the residents no less. More than anhythingelse this really couldget me fired. I really dont know what i will do if this happens. Again IM sorry if i am rambling feeling sorry for myself. thank you for being here and letting me get this off my chest.

07-21-06, 09:08 AM's good to talk about this sort of thing to people who understand how you are feeling...
It certainly sounds like you love the job you have, and I am sure they know how valuable you are , and would hate to lose you...

I hope it all works out, although I am sure it will :-)

07-26-06, 08:15 AM
:confused: I would really like to say this update is a pleasent one but im afraid it i's not. On monday i got written up at work again. and once more thtis write up is "the finale write up" meaning that if I get one more I will be fired. This is my 4th in the last year. I dont know where to turn. I would love to just say that my boss has it out for me and i really do a wonderfull job, but it is this type of thing that has been going on all my life. I am trying hard not to become real depressed right now but i think i am losing that fight, of what little fight i have left inside of me. I am tired very very tired. right now i just want to escape from everything and for once have some peace, but i dont know how. meds just are not working. I am on adderall xl 20 mg, two tabs a day in the morning. thanks for being here for me.

07-26-06, 08:33 AM
Lunaslobo...honestly, I know EXACTLY how you are feeling....the only difference is I never got any warning before I was fired..

The emotions from being fired are as strong as a death in your immediate family, or a divorce...
I lost every job I had until I started work with my Mother...she had to put up with me...

07-29-06, 08:22 AM
ONe thing about the jobs I have lost is that i always got some kind of warning before hand. I truly believe that when most, and I do say most, people get fired they have an idea that it is coming. ten years ago when i got fired from being in central supply, I knew that day was getting the ax. I remeber cleaning out my desk and saying goodby to everyone. this was in the morning and i did not get fired untill late afternoon. Its just I have been feeling real sorry for myself and my family lately that at 44 i really dont think that I should be still going throu this stuff. :(

07-31-06, 02:14 AM
I know exactly how you feel. Just try to hang in there and don't do anything drastic. If for nothing else, think of your son. He needs you, no matter what. He might be out living on his own, or not, that doesn't matter, he will ALWAYS need you.

Me - oh boy - I've had 7 jobs in 8 years. I graduated college in May 1998, I'm 36 and this is really getting frustrating. So bad that I'm almost scared to get another job. This last one I loved so much, and I was there the longest at 26 months, everything was going great till about January, then the foundation started to slip just a little, then a little more , a little more, then wham here came the avalanche. Yes, I saw it coming too, it's weird though, it's almost like I knew the enevidable was coming so I just went ahead and turned in my paper a little late just to get it over with. Why postpone it any longer? The next Monday during the staff meeting I was told to organize my files, then we would discuss projects. That never happened before, I was always asked to organize after hours. Plus neither of my bosses were there, they were hiding out in another office, our meeting was via video phone. I looked at my co-workers and said, "Isn't that clever, their going to have me organize my crap for them before they let me go." I worked on my resume instead. Sure enough about 4:00 one of the surpervisors comes in the office and calls me to the big bosses office and lets me go.

My husband is so ****ed because we got a big house almost 5 years ago, with a big mortgage, thinking I could hold up my end of the bills. I call it "We're house poor"

But - last week I put my resume on and I have 5 interviews set up for this week. You ought to try it, you'll be amazed. I'm just worried the same thing is going to happen again and before I know it, I'll be at job number twenty something as well.:( :(

07-31-06, 10:21 PM
It is therapy just reading your words. I am reading each entry with ny head nodding,"Yes, yes, oh yes, that one, too. I'm definitely not just in it alone. It has been a lonely lifetime until they figured out that kids don't "just outgrow" ADHD.

07-31-06, 11:47 PM
Have u told your boss about your ADD?

08-01-06, 10:43 PM
Have u told your boss about your ADD?
yes i did and right now i am wondering just how good of an idea that really was. this last write up(my fourth last chance) she asked me if i was getting enough meds. now i may not know all the ins and outs of going over the line but this question really seems like it is over stepping a little bit. It almost is begining to seem that i am her scape goat for all that goes wrong in the department. Lets blame it on the add guy. He cant control his actions. During this last week i have really kept my mouth shut and just watched thingsunfold in our department and I am seeing that she has a lot of issues of not getting things done and not being prepared. so what i have begun doing is I am writing all of the things down that i have been wriiten up for and all the things that i have been accused of and re looking into what may or may not have been the cause. I am kind of surprised by what i am finding out. The first major write up i got was because a resident got food in one of our icecream socials that she should not have gotten. I could have killed her because she was not supose to be getting any food at all, she was beingtube fed. well i did not give it to her a coworker did by the name of phil. and nothing had happed to him. My next big write up was when Phil and i were taking people on an outing, and our van got hit by someone. I lwas the driver but we were not moving at the time we were parked and loading people in. I was in the van buckling the wheel chair people in when it happend. I did not even know it did because they hit us so lightly. Phil told me it did. I asked him if he got the names, he said he did not. Well i got wrote up for not folowing thru with everything, again phil did not. this last write up phil and I were to go on an outing for lunch. I had just come back from vacation and only had two days to prep for it. I asked him theday before if he had the outing list done as I had an in house breakfast that next day to plan, he said he would do it, he did not get it done i had to get the list done but I could not compleate it the day before as per policy, so i got wrote up. I was told that i did not do a good job of comunication and that i dropped the ball on pourpose to get at phil. Now if I was phils supervisor I could understand getting wrote up all of these times, but he has been in the department for over 5 years and i have been in for only two. I am no longer feeling sorry for myself but I am mad, and couris as to what hold he has over these people and just how I can keep getting it for his mistakes. I know I have done plenty wrong and these are not my only write ups but when i am wrong i admit it. I dont take slack for others nor should i. thanks for letting me vent. I feel a lot better.

08-01-06, 10:53 PM
just to let you know some of the other reasons i have gotten written up:

I left a cd player in our storeroom instead of the office. the storeroom whrere we keep all of the supplies we use every day.

i left the supplies to clean the bird cage out where clients could get it. (this one is legit, i should not have done this.)

not folowing proper proceedure duing an activity group. By all accounts I was folowing the proceedures. the place where my supervisor was watching me you could not see what i was doing or heard what i was saying , and the whole time she was there she was on the phone.

telling a nursing assistant that I would bring better music for the residents to listen than what is in the cd player, this underrmined her athority and made her look bad.

I could go on and on but there all about the same.

08-01-06, 11:13 PM
have they said any more ??

08-02-06, 07:55 AM
have they said any more ??actully ever since i have let my boss knowl that i am writing all of this stuff down and that i am sending a copy to her boss she has not really said tow words to me. Almost like she is avoiding my. now the assistant director is the oppisit, she has been nicer to me and seems more supportive go figure. Its just a battle in not to give into thek depression and let it over take me. I will not do that. again thanks for all of you being here.:)

08-14-06, 08:57 AM
well we, meaning my director and assitant director, had a meeting last thursday about the highs and lows of July. Again my director stated that she is concerned because my organization skills are lacking. She states that I do not pick up after myself and that she has to go behind me and do this. Last week I also made breaakfast for our mens group. We made omelets and I had 10 men that joined me. When my director came in she made several trips thru the area where i was working. I knew she was watching me. After it was all done she asked me if I thought there were things I would have done differently. She then went on to tell me that I had invited to many men, that i was too rushed, and it appeared that I was not prepared. well the next day when we had this meeting about the high and lows of july, she told the assistant director that she thought the breakfast with the mens group went very well, and this proves that with proper planning things can go well. :confused: So understandably i am confused. this is the things that she does to me. says one thing at one time then another ant another time. I just dont know what do do except just keep a record of all of this in case i need it.

08-14-06, 09:19 AM
Something to try. Make a survey of the thing that have already been done and get the residents to choose the top three most enjoyed activities. Also get them to give suggestions of what they would like to see or do. You might have to verbally do the survey with the ones that need help. Get them to help each other if some are more able. The sense of responsibility might be appreciated by some of the residents. After you get the surveys back plan some activities that they want to do. They will show up if they chose the event themselves.
Cleanup and picking up is just getting used to that twenge that you feel when you go ahead and throw somethin away or put something up as soon as you are through with what ever the item is. You have to practice catching yourself and doing it anyway. Maybe you could make a reminder. A sticker on your watch band that tells you your supervisor will expect you to go ahead and do it.


08-14-06, 10:31 AM
One thing that helped me tremendously while working in an intensive care unit was a daily list. It sounds kind of tedious to an add'er but it made a huge difference in my organization and efficiency and this was before I was diagnosed.

I would take a plain piece of paper (computer or notebook or whatever). I would take the paper and fold it in half twice so that it was about 4 by 2 1/2 inches (or whatever it comes out to I didn't measure it). Then I would make a list of things I needed to do for each of the two patients I had. One patient on one side and one on the other. These tasks were arranged in priority from top to bottom including medications/times etc..

This fits perfectly into a back pocket, or shirt pocket for that matter. I could easily and quickly refer to this and would draw a line through each task after it was completed.

This helped tremendously because I wasn't constantly mind-racing trying to think of all the things that I needed to remember to do next so that I wouldn't forget. It helped me keep from constantly worrying that I was going to forget something important which is when I usually lose things or leave things behind due to lack of focus on the task at hand.

The great thing about this little trick was how simple it was and is to use. No need for fancy organizers or pda's that take more time and can be forgotten at home.

I think a similar system might help you. Try not to rush (I know it's hard) and this might allow you to better complete each task.

08-23-06, 07:55 AM
well I got wrote up yet once again. I think this is my third or fourth write up on file that is my last before i am to be fired. this time i got wrote up for not charting on someone when i was supose to. the thing is I know I did but for somereason it did not show up on the puter. with all this looking over my shoulder wondering if I am going to be fired is so counterproductive that I am making mistakes. I cant work like this.

08-30-06, 08:02 AM
i have made a decision, I am tired of living scdared that I am going to lose my job. From here on in i am just going to work and do the best job I know how and for the reasons I got my job in the first place, and that is to serve the residents. That more than anything else is why I do what I do. If I lose my job doing that then I know I did the right thing and I will be able to sleep at night. This might be my morning coffee talking right now, but i do feel good about this. I am going to move ahead and keep looking for something else that I can do to earn a living. In another thread i mentioned that i need to continue in school to get my bach. degree. I think I will do that online if possible. I am so gratefull for all of you being here. even though I have said all of this I probably will have panic attacks and get real low about my job situation. That is the rollercoaster of life that I live.

09-07-06, 11:59 AM
well as of yesterday I am unemployed and to tell you the truth I am scared. It has never hit me like this before. Here I am 44 yo and really no training to speak of except my nursing assistant traing and My associates degree. The nurse aid traing would get me into more places than the degree im afraid. but I let my certificate lapse so actully I dont even have that. I saw this coming and felt like there was nothing I could do or no where I could turn. I know what I want to do but really dont know how to go about getting it done. Some how I want to continue doing what I was doing, mabe more in a lead pos. but to do that I need to get more schooling. Or mabe open an adult day care center. but have no money. I just dont know. Right now things dont feel real. I feel like im floating and falling at the same time. Im scared of many things right now. :confused:

09-07-06, 03:59 PM
Hey Lobo,

Sorry to hear about your job. From reading the rest of this thread it looks like you had a suspicion that it might be coming but it sucks just the same. The last job I lost was more due to my alcoholism than my ADD (when I look back now they were really feeding each other) and I was out for almost a year. I have a friend here in the Atlanta area who has his own business supplying rehab nurses to facilities that need them, but that probably doesn't help you. Unless you want to get away from the snow! :)

I could spout a bunch of recovery slogans that you probably don't want to hear right now, but I'm sure you know what they are anyway. Just keep them in mind because they are true and do work. I'll let one slip out ;) - when one door closes, another one opens. Just try to stay in God's will and out of your own and you'll be allright. My prayer list gets longer every day but I'll add a mighty and majestic (yet still hairy!) beast to them tonight.

09-08-06, 12:48 AM
if you need help with a resume and cover letter I'm getting to be an expert. Getting hired is never my most difficult part of the job. seriously though, if you want resume and cover letter help, or job hunting help, I'd be happy to assist.

09-08-06, 02:17 PM
<TABLE class=tborder cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=6 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR title="Post 333534" vAlign=top><TD class=alt2>superdave (<SCRIPT type=text/javascript> vbmenu_register("postmenu_333534", true); ***********

I'll let one slip out ;) - when one door closes, another one opens. Just try to stay in God's will and out of your own and you'll be allright. My prayer list gets longer every day but I'll add a mighty and majestic (yet still hairy!) beast to them tonight.
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=thead colSpan=2>Yesterday 10:59 AM</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE> <TABLE class=tborder cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=6 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR title="Post 333653" vAlign=top><TD class=alt2><TABLE cellSpacing=6 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD noWrap>sammyanne1 (<SCRIPT type=text/javascript> vbmenu_register("postmenu_333653", true); ***********
</TD><TD width="100%"> </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>if you need help with a resume and cover letter I'm getting to be an expert. Getting hired is never my most difficult part of the job. seriously though, if you want resume and cover letter help, or job hunting help, I'd be happy to assist.</TD></TR><TR><TD class=thead colSpan=2>Yesterday 02:59 PM</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

Thank you both so much and yes Dave a lot of people are sending and telling me 12 step quotes to make me feel better right now, and even though i dont want to hear them, I really need to hear them. It shows me that Im not as alone as i feel and that mabe there is a light at the end of the tunnel(providing of course I can continue to pay my light bill and it does not get turned off, now that would suck) Yes I have expected this for quite some time now and I do Know this was not all my fault. But to be fair I do need to take responsibilty for the things I did wrong. I may have been watched mote closely than my coworkers, but still If i had folowed all the rules and did everything the way I was supose to then i would not have been in the mess i was in. i just need to move on and try to get something that I really like. and this majestic hairy thing thanks you for including me on the prayer list, in return Ill howl for you tonight Sammy I may just take you up on that offer about the resume. Having someone that knows more look at one may be helpfull, thanks.

09-12-06, 08:48 PM
as of tomarow I am sending out four resumes thru the mail. Wish me luck, all four are in the types Of jobs I like and one has real good pontential.

09-12-06, 09:59 PM
as of tomarow I am sending out four resumes thru the mail. Wish me luck, all four are in the types Of jobs I like and one has real good pontential.

Good luck, lobo!

09-15-06, 09:37 AM
I sent the resumes out on wednesday, actully bery late in the day, about 3:30 in the afternoon. went to my Grandma's house to trim her schrubs, when i was done and we were having coffee she looked at me and told me she had a feeling that I would get a call about a job that day. I tried to tell her that I just sent the resume's out the day before so it would be alleast till the next week before I hear something. She said no, I would hear that day about something and that my life is going to get better. (Gotta love my grandma, for being 90 she has the best outlook on life) well when i got home the my cell phone rang and it was someone wanting to schedule an interview. Its monday at 5 pm. so she was correct. I guess that teaches me to counterdict my grandma ever again.;)

10-20-06, 10:04 AM
well I interviewed for another job two weeks ago thisl coming up monday. It does not pay what I was making before, but it is a very very good job. It is doing almost exactly what I was doing before. Only this time instead of working with elderly people, I will be working with adults that have Devolopmentle limitations. It will be on a smaller scale than where I was before. the hours a re great also. Mon thru friday, 7:30-3:30. I would start off with 11 paid holidays a year, 15 days vaction the first year, add one day each year after that to a max of 20 days, one sick day earned each month with insentives not to use them(like selling back at the end of thel year for a nice bonous) 403k retirement savings, and they pay for much of insurance, wich I rewally dont need. It really has me excited.
Now for what has had me really nervous. I have been having problems with the refreances that I gave them. They have not been getting back to the interviewers. so I had to go out and get some more. One really nice thing is that the place is being really good about it. they have given me the time to do this. that tells me that they want me for the posistion. Hopefully now that I have the refrence problem worked out, I will find out one way or another begining of the week. Ill keep you all posted.

10-25-06, 08:47 AM
i got another email from the job i want to get and they were asking me further why i am not at Cedar Crest. I sent an email back trying to exlain the best I could. I really tried not to paint myself as someone as incompitant as what my boss tried to make me out to be, but on the same line I tried to to sound bitter and all I was doing was blaming my ex boss for everything either. I hope I said the right things. Ill let you all know, kind of scared right now.

10-29-06, 03:30 PM
I'll keep you in my thoughts, lunaslobo. If it's any consolation, here's a tidbit of my life: I've had 3 jobs in the past 3 years. Two of them I quit because I feared I was going to get fired (due to what I know now was ADD related poor performance.). My third job I quit in March. We had been struggling on just one income when my husband got fired in September due in part to ADD affecting his job. Now he found another job but he's gone from making $31,00 a year to $17,000 a year. Without my parents' help we'd be bankrupt for sure.

Did you file for unemployment?

10-31-06, 01:42 PM
lunaslobo, did you get the job!??! I have been reading this whole thread...I hope so man! I feel your pain, as many of us do on this ADD message board!